ERBzine 8229a: Drabbles AUGUST 16-31, 2026

DEJAH WAS A BIG OLE GIRL <>

August 16: On this day in 1942, the John Carter of Mars Sunday comic episode #37, A Dizzy Ride, was published. The Sunday comic by John Coleman Burroughs had a very small distribution. The comic had debuted on the same day as the Pearl Harbor attack and it never caught on during World War Two. Rationing was a real thing.

In the episode, Dejah Thoris has grown to giant size (Attack of the Fifty-foot Woman). John Carter and Woola try to help her. Her mind isn’t working clearly.

The episode be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag22/2237.html#37

The drabble for today. Dejah Was A Big Ole Girl,” is a filk song, look up filk song for the definition, based on the song “Sally Was A Good Ole Girl,” by Waylon Jennings.

DEJAH WAS A BIG OLE GIRL
Dejah used to keep me warm at night.

Now Dejah is a great big girl.

Bandage me up whenever I’d fight.

Now Dejah is great big girl.

Got zapped with a ray, it made her grow

Now I’m shorter than her smallest toe.

She can’t hear me when I say my dear.

And I’m standing inside her ear.

Dejah is a great big girl.

She used to wear petite size two

Now an army would fit inside one shoe

Because Dejah is a big ole girl.

Doesn’t fit my normal world.

Don’t want Dejah staying a great big girl.

THERE IS A HOUSE

August 17: On this day in 1988, actress Victoria Shaw, who played photographer, Lita Mckenzie, in S01E24, To Steal the Rising Sun, the Ron Ely Tarzan TV series, died in her native land, Australia. It was common for each episode to feature a beautiful female actress and Victoria was no exception. Victoria’s previous television appearances included, “Twelve O’clock High, The Man From Uncle, Alvarez Kelly, No Time For Sergeants, and 77 Sunset Strip. In 1951, she was named Australia’s Model of the Year.

Everything you want to know about the episode is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7426.html#24

The fictional drabble for today, “There is a House,” and it’s inspired by the episode. The Rising Sun is a stone, a jewel if you will, which is sacred to a tribe led by James Earl Jones. The bad guys want to steal the valuable stone.

THERE IS A HOUSE
Lita said, “Tarzan, those men that I’m with are here to steal a large jewel that is sacred to this tribe. It’s called the Rising Sun.”

“They won’t fair very well. The tribe’s warriors are merciless. Trying to take the jewel has been the ruin of many a poor boy. The only thing a warrior needs is a war chant and a spear. Those who’ve tried to rob these people were chained and buried here.”

‘”Is the jewel inside one of these houses?”

“The House of the Rising Sun? It’s on Bourbon street in New Orleans, but that’s not important.”

THINKING MAN'S WORLD

August 18: On this day in 1985, the Gray Morrow illustrated and Don Kraar scripted Tarzan Sunday comic story arc, The Night of the Meteor, began. The creative team would stay together for over twelve years and collaborate on over 600 Sunday Tarzan pages. You can read “The Night of the Meteor” at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag35/3513.html

The story ran for 12 Sundays and featured Tarzan, Jane, Professor Porter and a dangerous meteor shower. Two Afrikkan hunters are surprised at the lack of game, unaware of the disaster coming their way or of the fact that the animals are in hiding, they can sense upcoming danger. Tarzan and Jane become involved with family of the hunters, throwbacks to the world of the early Boer settlers in the region. Conflict ensues. Tarzan refers to them as, “Just some anachronisms I convinced to take a walk into the 20th century.”

The closing line of the story inspired the drabble for today, “Thinking Man’s World.”

THINKING MAN'S WORLD
Jane said, “We’ve encountered a number of lost tribes, small outposts of civilizations from the past. Most are thousands of years old, but this one was barely one hundred. They were descendants of a family that was lost during the Great Trek in South Africa.”

“Jane, they’re all much the same. One powerful ruler makes all the decisions for everyone.”

“Just like kings and queens used to do. I wonder why there aren’t kings, anymore. It seems that time has passed them by.”

“Education has changed everything and absolute monarchs can’t exist in a world where people think for themselves.”

INVASIVE SPECIES

August 19: On this day in 1940, actress Jill St. John, who voiced characters on Commodore Production’s Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, radio series, was born as Jill Arlyn Oppenheim in Los Angeles, California. She played Tiffany Case, the first American Bond Girl in Diamonds are Forever, and among other roles, appeared in The Lost World, Tender is the Night, The Concrete Jungle, and Come Blow Your Horn. On television, her appearances included Batman, The Big Valley, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, Hart to Hart, Magnum P. I., and Seinfeld.

She studied Marine Biology in college and is a remarkably bright woman who appeared in Tarzan radio episodes. Commodore didn’t give credit to the talented actors and actresses who voiced the series and little is known about what roles anyone had, except for Lamont Johnson, who voiced Tarzan.

An excellent article about the radio show and the cast was written by Robert Barrett and may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag23/2337.html

The drabble for today, “Invasive Species, was inspired by the beautiful, intelligent, and talented Jill St. John.

INVASIVE SPECIES
Lamont Johnson pushed his glasses onto his forehead and said, “Miss Oppenheim, you look very unhappy. What’s the matter?”

“Sorry. I’ve been reading the script. There are no alligators in Africa, Not only that, barracudas don’t swim in fresh water and piranha are only found in South America. This is so wrong.”

“Dear, of the years, I’ve just learned to take the money and read the script. Let it go.”

“I’ve almost finished my degree in marine biology and I’m sorry, but this type of lazy writing is just inexcusable.”

“Don’t be sorry. You aren’t responsible for other people’s ignorance.”

BITE THE HAND

August 20: On this day in 2008, the Orange County Register published an article about Don Bragg, “The Olympic Winner Who Didn’t Get To Be Tarzan.”

Nicknamed "Tarzan" because of his size and strength, Bragg's goal was to play that role in the movies. Few have so actively pursued a role. He toured Europe and Africa for the U.S. Department of State as a goodwill ambassador, climbing trees and swinging from vines.[2] He met Johnny Weissmuller, who agreed that Bragg would be perfect as Tarzan. When he won the gold at the 1960 Olympics he did the infamous Tarzan yell from the podium, shocking the crowd. He was offered the role twice, but was injured and missed both opportunities. Bragg was set to play the lead in the next Tarzan movie, following Johnny Weismuller, also an Olympic gold medalist. But the project was stalled by litigation. When Hollywood called again, a few years later, Bragg had 18 stitches on his foot because of a fall. His dream went unfulfilled.

Read the entire article at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag67/6780.html

The fictional drabble for today, “Bite the Hand,” and it was inspired by the career of Dan Bragg and it uses his most famous quotation.

“Mr. Bragg, I understand that you turned down an offer to represent the Olympic Committee.”

“I did. They insisted that I toe the line, dress like they wanted, and only say things that they approved.”

“Hence the term, representative.”

“Tarzan was raised by a tribe of great apes, the same way we’d raise a stray puppy or kitten. When he was big enough he killed the great ape who led the tribe and had tormented him when he was young.”

“I don’t understand the reference.”

“One thing I have in common with Tarzan is that I don’t make a good pet.”

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

August 21: On this day in 1958. German born director Kurt Neumann: Tarzan and the Leopard Woman, Tarzan and the She-Devil, Tarzan and the Amazons, and Tarzan and the Huntress, died in Los Angeles. Neumann directed sixty-eight films, of which The Fly with Vincent Pirce is the best known. Not only did he direct Tarzan and the She-Devil, in 1958 he directed She-Devil. Neumann was originally hired to direct German language versions of Hollywood films.

The four Tarzan films he directed are all explored in detail on the website, https://www.erbzine.com/movies

The drabble for today, “Taking Care of Business,” was inspired by the career of Kurt Neumann.

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

The cameraman on the set of ‘Tarzan and the Huntress” complained. “Mr. Neumann, you keep the crew here for an hour after filming every day. The actors leave and we stay on set.”

“It’s your job to keep the cameras working. Lighting has to checked, costumes cleaned, and the set maintained.”

“Every day?”

“It’s the job. Maintenance is cheaper than repairing or replacing. You can’t make up lost time. The unsharpened sword and unloaded gun are only clubs.”

“Seems like it could wait.”

“If you don’t schedule time to maintain your equipment, your equipment will schedule the time for you.”

TABLES TURNED

August 22: On this day in 1982, the Mike Grell scripted and illustrated Tarzan Sunday comic arc, “The Strangers in Pal-ul-Don,” concluded. It ran for eleven Sundays. The story begins with a Dum Dum dance in the first episode and then proceeds to feature a fight of some sort in each of the next ten chapters. Action from start to finish. The lesson of the story is that when you are the person who makes the rules, you don’t get to complain about them if you lose.

You can read all eleven episodes at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag29/2972.html

The drabble for today, Tables Turned,” was inspired by the story arc and by every film about hunting humans. The Most Dangerous Game, Hard Target, and The Naked Prey, come to mind.

TABLES TURNED

Tarzan had been forced to flee into the jungle while Jack Willis and a native tribe tracked and hunted him. Jane was held captive to ensure Tarzan’s cooperation. “Simple rules. Only one of us returns alive. You get a five-minute head start, starting now.”

Tarzan led the hunters into traps and ambushes, killing all of them but their leader, Jack. He caught Jack in a snare, disarmed him, and tied him up.

“Jack said, “Don’t leave me. I’ll be killed.”

‘Probably. Your game, your rules. Survive if you can.”

Tarzan heard the roar of the lions as he walked away.

REVERSE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

August 23: On this day in 1966, the John Celardo written and illustrated Tarzan daily newspaper comic strip story arc, “The Rescue of Jane,” concluded. The title begs the question, “how many of Tarzan’s adventures were based on a rescue of Jane. Sometimes it seemed like that her primary purpose was to need rescuing. The story is excellent as is the artwork, but the inking is too heavy for my taste. Even so, it’s far better than I could have done.

You can read every episode at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag46/4662.html

The Russians have kidnapped Jane and are holding her hostage to keep Tarzan from interfering with their plan to take over Kenya’s oil fields. Things never work out well for folks who try to force Tarzan to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

The drabble for today, “Reverse Stockholm Syndrome” was inspired by the story arc and the consistent fate of those who kidnapped Jane.

REVERSE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

The Russian operative laughed, “Tarzan, you will do as I say. We have your wife. Resistance is futile. Comply or she dies.”

Tarzan growled, “I just want my wife. You haven’t asked for anything, so there’s nothing for me to comply with.”

While the two argued, Jane tricked her guards and killed them. She set fire to the Russian camp and sabotaged their vehicles. She held a bayonet in the Russian’s back. “Tarzan, I ready to go home now.

“How?” exclaimed the Russian.

‘You haven’t read The Ransom of Red Chief?” asked Jane. “It should be required reading for kidnappers.”

GO HELP SOMEBODY ELSE

August 24: On this day in 2013, actress Julie Harris, The Perils of Charity Jones, S01E26 and S01E27, Ron Ely Tarzan TV series, died in west Chatham, Massachusetts. Widely considered one of America’s greatest stage actresses, she won five Tony awards, three Primetime Emmy awards, and one Grammy award. She was nominated for an Academy Award and was inducted into the American Theater Hall of Fame in 1979. Of particular note is her Tony-winning performance in “The Belle of Amherst,” a one-woman play (written by William Luce and directed by Charles Nelson Reilly) based on the life and poetry of Emily Dickinson.

In “The Perils of Charity Jones,” she portrays the title character, a semi-missionary woman who seems driven to save Jai from his life, a life that he doesn’t want saved from. It reminded me of the song by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, “D. W. Washburn.” Some people are perfectly happy with their lives and don’t need or want unsolicited advice or assistance.

Information about the episode, including a summary is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7427.html#26

With that in mind, the irreverent drabble for today, “Go Help Somebody Else,” was inspired by the episodes and is a filk song based on “D. W. Washburn,” written by Leiber and Stoller. The best-known version was recorded by The Monkees. Enjoy.

GO HELP SOMEBODY ELSE

“Jungle boy, Jai,” I heard Charity Jones say

Jungle boy, Jai, this’s your lucky day.

A haircut and bath are waiting,

Clean clothes and brand-new shoes

Jungle boy Jai, I picked you to save.

“Jungle boy, Jai,” I said to myself

I’m jungle boy, Jai, why don’t you go save somebody else.

I got no school to go to

Don’t wear shoes, and I don’t care

Got no chores to do.

I never cut my hair.

Thank you, Miss Jones, for coming to my aid,

But leave me be, ‘cause Tarzan and me,

I do believe we’ve got it made.

RIVER OF DEATH

August 25: On this day in 2026, ERB, Inc. made “Tarzan and the Lost Worlds” by Michael Tierney available for preorder. Michael is no stranger to the worlds of Edgar Rice Burroughs. He completed a short story fragment, “Young Tarzan Ponders,” written by ERB. It was published as “Tarzana and the Mysterious She.” He authored the massive and beautiful collection, “The Edgar Rice Burroughs 100 Years Art Chronology,” and is the author of the online comic, “Beyond the Farthest Star” Cover art and interior illustrations by Douglas Klauba. Meet Michael Tierney in ERBzine at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag37/3719.html

You can order Tarzan and the Lost Worlds in paperback, hardcover, or in a signed limited edtion;

https://edgarriceburroughs.com/.../tarzan-and-the-lost.../

The drabble for today is from the website description of the book. Let’s call it “River of Death,”

RIVER OF DEATH
When an expedition into West Africa seeks answers about the long-lost fate of Lord and Lady Greystoke, it uncovers something far more extraordinary: a hidden realm erased from maps, guarded by pirates, cannibals, lost civilizations, and creatures thought extinct. Deep beyond the legendary River of Death, Jane Porter, William Clayton, and their companions encounter Tarzan—a young ape man raised in isolation, caught between his jungle family and a world he never knew. As ruthless treasure hunters, Russian conspirators, and ancient powers converge on the lost city of Opar, Tarzan must battle monsters, betrayal, and his growing love for Jane.

INNER VOICE

August 26: On this day in 1998, “Dark Horse Comics published Tarzan Carson of Venus #4,” The issue was written by Darko Macan and Illustrated by Igo Kordey.

An excellent review and summary of the entire Dark Horse Edgar Rice Burroughs issues begins at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag11/1156.html. Thank you, Bill Ross.

The final battle is at hand! Carson and Duare manage to change the Loveking's mind, only to see him murdered by his power-mad Myposan first officer! As the pair are thrown into the Myposan arena to face a horde of Venusian beasts, they wish that Tarzan was there with them, to speak to the monsters and send them against their masters. But Tarzan's got problems of his own, including a floating city collapsing around his ears!

The drabble for today, ”Inner Voice,” was inspired by the issue.

INNER VOICE

Carson Napier gripped his sword and prepared to battle the monstrous creatures facing him. “Tarzan,” he said. “Tell the monsters to leave us be.”

“I’m not sure I speak monster?”

“Tarzan, you can speak to every animal on Earth.”

“For a man to talk to a fox, the man has to have some fox in his soul.”

“So, a monster whisperer must be part monster?”

”Yes and he must be the alpha creature.” growled Tarzan, His inner predator took control, his eyes darkened and the scar on his forehead turned bright red. He ordered the monsters to stop.

They did.

BUDGET MENU

August 27: And happy Tarzan Day. Go outside and let loose with a big Tarzan yell to celebrate. The neighbors will love it. On this day in 2011, Actress Jean Ann Ewers, known professionally as Eve Brent, Jane portrayer in the films, Tarzan’s Fight For Life and Tarzan and the Trappers, died in Sun Valley California. Eve won a Saturn award for best supporting actress in the film, “Fade to Black.” Her 105 film and television credits included “The Green Mile, “ Female Jungle.” “The Garment Jungle,” “Mara of Wilderness,” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

All the details about ‘Tarzan’s Fight for Life’ have been meticulously assembled for your viewing pleasure at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag19/1955.html

The drabble for today, “Budget Menu,” was inspired by the film.

BUDGET MENU

“Cut,” screamed director Bruce Humbersotne. “Eve, you’ve got to hit your mark. Retakes are killing us. Sol Lesser is berating me about the budget constantly.”

“My feet are exactly where they should be.”

NEVER SURRENDER

August 28: On this day in 2026, I learned that writer Will Murray (William Patrick Murray) passed away on August 24th. Will wrote several novels, almost all featured characters created by other writers. He ghosted several novels in the Destroyer series, over twenty Doc Savage novels, several Sherlock Holmes stories, three Spider novels, three Lovecraft universe books, and in the worlds of Edgar Rice Burroughs, he authored ‘Tarzan: Return to Pal-ul-don,’ ‘King Kong vs. Tarzan,’ ‘Tarzan, Conqueror of Mars,’ and ‘Tarzan, Back to Mars.’ He also wrote several articles during his career. Will was a mainstay at pulp and science fiction conventions and a joy to be around. Will, you will be missed.

<> The 100-word drabble for today, Never Surrender.” was inspired by his writing career. It’s an excerpt from an interview with Will posted on firstcomicnew.com. I won’t write about the character, Squirrel Girl, although she was pretty darn cute.

NEVER SURRENDER

As a writer, you need some degree of talent. You have to constantly develop and improve your craft. You need to believe in yourself and have the ability and freedom to pursue this challenging career, despite setbacks, disappointments, discouragement, and the freaks of bad timing and other calamities. Talented writers fall by the wayside because they can’t tough it out psychologically or economically. You must be flexible and resilient. If your markets collapse, you must find new markets. If you become outdated as a writer, you must reinvent yourself. Determination is probably the most important ingredient beyond believing in yourself.

THE BEAT GOES ON

August 29; Happy Diamond Anniversary to Sue-On and Bill Hillman. The co-editors of ERBzine and recording artists were married on this day sixty years ago. Hundreds of their songs are available and you can hear a sample of them at: https://www.hillmanweb.com/cd/ There’s also a substantiated rumor that Sue-On also operated a pretty darn good restaurant for years. SOO'S RESTAURANT: https://www.hillmanweb.com/soos/soosera.html

The drabble, “The Beat Goes On,” today was inspired by their recording and performing career. Rock and Roll will never die. If the poem inspires Bill and Sue-on to record it, I’ll happily forgo any royalties and I've even add a few more verses.

THE BEAT GOES ON
Set up the drums

I’ll tune my guitar
Someone will help
Get the amps from the car

I’ll made sure the lighting
Is right for the stage
Twenty songs in the set
Ignoring our age.

We’ll open with Dylan
And then sing some blues
Take a short break
Let folks buy some more booze.

Springsteen and Elvis
You can’t top the king
I’ll keep the rhythm
And Sue-On will sing.

Some Janice, some Gracie
We’ll cover Joan Jett
Tina, Aretha
And Ronstadt, you bet.

Turn up the amps

Rocking the stage

Rock and roll is forever

We’re acting our age.

SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT

August 30: On this day in 1951, E39, Death Has Small Wings, of the Commodore Productions radio series, Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was broadcast. In the 26 minute episode, The story title is the name that the natives call the deadly tsetse fly. Tarzan saves beautiful Gale Stevens from a crocodile. She makes several passes at Tarzan. Gale and her scientist father are travelling to the Doodoo country, and Tarzan decides to accompany them. After being bitten by a tsetse fly, Tarzan falls unconscious and dreams that he is in a strange paradise. He soon grows tired of the idyllic life and requests that he be returned to his own country. The High Lama gives him a potion that will return him to reality but gives him a second one that he says will return Tarzan to paradise if he drinks of it. On drinking the first potion, he awakens to find that he has been unconscious for five days. Was it only a dream? If so, then what of the second vial of amber liquid he holds in his hand?

I wondered how hard it was for the cast to say Doodoo country with a straight face.

Listen to every episode at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag23/2337.html

The drabble for today, “Smile When You Say That,” is entirely fictional and was inspired by the episode.

SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT

Tarzan said, “Mr. Stevens, here’s your daughter, Gale. She needs to behave herself.”

“Good luck with that, Mr. Tarzan. She dances to a different drummer. We’re travelling through the doodoo country.”

“Stevens, you know that doodoo is what the natives call the tsetse flies.”

Gale laughed, “That’s not what doodoo means where I grew up.”

“It’s not funny. The doodoos are dangerous.”

“Who’s afraid of a little doodoo.”

Tarzan sighed, “You can’t help a person who doesn’t have the sense to be afraid.”

“Doodoo, nothing that a diaper and a babywipe won’t handle.”

“Gale, you have a crappy attitude.”

“Proudly.”

FOOD FIGHT

August 31: On this day in 1977, almost forgotten actor, Rick Vallen died at age fifty-seven in Los Angeles, California. He is one of the only actors born in Crimea, Russia to appear in a Tarzan film, “Tarzan’s Magic Fountain.” He had a small role, he was a flaming arrow shooter. His birth name was Eric George Efron. His mother, trained ballerina, acted in silent films. His father was executed by Bolsheviks.

Rick had more than 150 screen credits including “The Desert Hawk,’ “The Sea Hound, “Jungle Jim, “Batman and Robin,” :Jungle Manhunt,” “The Magic Carpet,” “Voodoo Tiger,” and Captain Video: Master of the Stratosphere.” He appeared on dozens of television westerns.

Details about “Tarzan’s Magic Fountain” abound at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0629.html

The drabble for today, “Food Fight,” was inspired by Rick Vallins real life escape to America and his career.

FOOD FIGHT

On set of “Tarzan’s Magic Fountain,” Rick Vallins filled his plate and his pockets in the meal tent. Brenda Joyce said, “Rick, you don’t have to stash food, No one is going to take it.

“Brenda, we believe that, but we don’t know that. I was born in Russia. The Bolsheviks took everything including my father.”

“In America, we don’t take food from each other.”

“Only for as long as the grocery stores are stocked. People are only three days of hunger away from barbarism.”

He took a cheeseburger from her plate. “You aren’t going to eat that, are you.”