ERBzine 8226a: Drabbles May 16-30, 2026

Flo S. Auntt shook her head. “A bad egg is a bad egg. Paint it like an Easter Egg or drench it in picante, it’s still rotten. Rotten Eggs don’t get better with time.”

MY HOUSE, MY RULES

May 17: On this day in 1984, S03E20, Tarzan and the Sixth Sense, starring Wolf Larson and Lydie Denier of the Tarzan TV series, aired. Information about every episode is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7453.html

The episode is filled with a lot of stock jungle footage and the print, if that’s the right word for a downloaded version, the print I had was difficult to hear the vocals on, the cast seemed to mumble.

The 100-word drabble for today, “My House, My Rules,” was not inspired by the episode. I submit articles to a number of pay and for pay publications, and eventually sell or donate all of them. Every publication has its own rules, as it should be. One publication that I’ve been involved with for years recently adopted a no advertising policy. Simply put, any article that I send them can’t contain an advertisement for any of my books, stories, or anything that I want to sell. That’s fair. In the very next issue, the editor included a full-page advertisement for another magazine that he/she edits/publishes. It took me a minute to realize that the rules apply to everyone except the editor. As my grandmother used to say, “Well, isn’t that nice.”

MY HOUSE, MY RULES
Edgar Rice Burroughs scrolled through the first edition of “The Monster Men,” and called Joseph Bray at A. C. McClurg, the publisher. “Joe, I’m looking at The Monster Men. You said the policy was no advertisements in your books. I couldn’t advertise Tarzan movies or my planned radio show.”

“That’s right. No advertisements are allowed.”

“There’s are three pages of advertisements for books written by other writers in there. What’s going on?”

“Sorry, I understand your confusion. Those are my advertisements. I’m the editor and I can do whatever I want. The no ads rules only apply to everyone else.”

I DON'T WORK AND I DON'T GET PAID

May 18: On this day in 1914, actor Robert J. Wilke, who appeared in the episodes, The Prisoner, End of the River and The Creeping Giant of the Ron Ely Tarzan television series was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. Wilke is best known for portraying villains and evil-doers, especially in westerns. His career spanned forty-six years The International Movie Data Base credits him with more than 300 film and television roles. Just to name a few, he appeared in ‘From Here to Eternity,’ ’20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.’ ‘The Magnificent Seven,’ ‘Stripe,’ ‘How The West Was Won,” “The Greatest Show on Earth,’ and every television western you remember.

In “The Prisoner,’’ Wilke plays Spooner, the convict prisoner. In “The End of the River” he’s Seth Gillian, and in “The Creeping Giant,” he plays Cullen Yeager. It was unusal for one character actor to play three different characters on one television series.

Summaries of all three episodes, actually of all the series’ episodes along with some great screen shots, are located at https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7424.html#14

The 100-word fictional drabble for today, “I Don’t Work and I Don’t Get Paid,” was inspired by the career of professional screen villain, Robert J. Wilke. The title of the drabble is taken from the song D. W. Washburn, written by Jerry Stoller and Mike Leiber, recorded by The Monkees.

I DON'T WORK AND I DON'T GET PAID

Spooner, played by Robert J. Wilke, slipped his handcuffs over the native policeman’s head, and said, “Unlock the cuffs or I’ll choke you to death, take the keys, and free myself.’

“I’ll do no such thing. If I was twenty years younger, I’d kill you right now.”

“Maybe, but if you want to be twenty seconds older, you’ll unlock these handcuffs.”

“If I let you go, will you change your ways?”

“That’s a stupid question. The best thing about stupid people is that they don’t know they’re stupid. Redemption would mean getting a job. Once a villain, always a villain.”

POWER HUNGRY

May 19: The 490th anniversary of Anne Boleyn’s beheading at the tower of London. One of my friends, the late Anne Brown, and I acknowledged this event annually. She said it was the perfect example of how absolute power corrupts absolutely. Also on this day in 1923, Argosy All-Story Weekly published the third installment of The Moon Maid. The cover illustration wasn’t for The Moon Maid, it was for Part One of ‘Garland The Great,’ a forgotten novel by Wyndham Martyn, pseudonym of William Henry Martin Hosken, who had about twenty novels and stories published in the pulps from 1918 through 1925 and then disappeared. Other stories included or serialized in the issue included. ‘Somebody Was Crazy; by Miles Overholt, “Queen of the Night’ by Kenneth Perkins, and the cleverly titled ‘Robinson Crew So’ by Thomas Thursday. Queen of the Night looks interesting and if I can find the time I’lll reprint it as part of the Campbell Classics series.

Publishing details about “The Moon Maid,” reviews and illustrations are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0767.html

The fiction drabble for today, “Power Hungry.” was inspired by The Moon Maid trilogy, the beheading of Anne Boleyn, and the problem with some people in authority.

POWER HUNGRY

ERB ordered another round and said, “Julian, Lieutenant Commander Orthis seems he’ll be a problem.”

“Yes, he will. Some people are promoted past their level of competence and once they realize it, they delight in exercising what little petty authority they have.”

Ed nodded. “I had an editor like that. He made changes for solely to inflate his ego. Henry the 8th beheaded Anne Boleyn simply because he could.”

“Why do some people act that way?”

“Their authority level is high enough to let them be a pain in the ass, but still low enough that they want to be.”

IDENTITY THEFT

May 20: On this day in 1939, the Nevada State Journal, Reno, Nevada, published article by Frederick C. Othman. "Fake Tarzans Are Warned By Famed Author." I aways figured that being a fake Tarzan would carry its own punishment. The faker would fall out of a tree, get eaten by a lion, or perhaps, strain their voice beyond repair trying to emulate Johnny Weissmuller.

The two photos with this post are of Tarzan Lopez and Tarzan Tyler.

The entire article may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag11/1197.html

The drabble for today, “Identity Theft,” was excerpted from the article and has been slightly edited to fit the 100-word drabble format.

IDENTITY THEFT

Burroughs said there was only one man in the world authorized to call himself Tarzan and that was Mr. Johnny Weismuller, for whom Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studios had paid the proper fee.

"The other, self-christened Tarzans are apes, all right. They're muscle bound and have broken noses. Furthermore, 'Tarzan'' is a copyrighted trademark and if these plug uglies insist upon using it I'm going to insist on the right to license them and stencil the copyright number on their chests."

The genial Burroughs said he'd had considerable Tarzan trouble lately. And that's the way it goes and I'm getting tired of it."

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF TARZAN AND THE GREEN GODDESS

May 21: On this day in 1935, “The New Adventures of Tarzan,” a Burroughs-Tarzan Enterprises film was released. The film starred Herman Brix and Ula Holt. Ula married the director, Ashton Dearholt, whose first wife, Florence Gilbert married Edgar Rice Burroughs. "Adventures" was offered to distributors in a variety of formats: a complete seven-reel, 75-minute feature ~ a seven-reel feature followed by 11 episodes ~ a 12-chapter serial ~ and later, as Tarzan and the Green Goddess, a 72-minute feature film edited from the last 10 chapters of the serial with added new footage.

A truly astonishing amount of information about the film is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0584.html

The drabble for today, “The New Adventures of Tarzan and the Green Goddess,” inspired by the double named and multiple version production.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF TARZAN AND THE GREEN GODDESS

Edgar Rice Burroughs said, “Ashton, how many titles and versions of this film are there going to be?”

“I really haven’t decided yet. The cast inspired me. Herman Brix is really Bruce Bennett and Ula Holt is really Florence Watson. If they’ve got two names, I see no reason that the film can’t have two names.”

“That makes no sense at all. Cheeta is really named Jiggs. We paid a monkey two thousand bucks. Every time you recut the picture, it costs me five times that much. We’ve already hired a monkey, you don’t need to make me into one.”

TIME IS THE BEST WARRIOR

May 22: On this day in 1950, the Nick Cardy and Burne Hogarth Tarzan daily newspaper comic story arc, “Tarzan and Hard Luck Harrigan,” began. It ran for fifty-four episodes.

The entire story which has excellent art may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag49/4958.html

Harrigan is a stereotypical prospector. He plans to capture Tarzan, take him to America, and exhibit the apeman in circus sideshows. It doesn’t work, but the two become friends. They encounter the Arab land pirates led by El Malmud, who is injured. Harrigan agrees to heal the Arab in exchange for gold, lots of gold. The story arc continues as ‘Hard Luck Harrigan, Part Two, with Bob Lubbers replacing Nick Cardy on the creative team.

The drabble for today, “Time is the Best Warrior,” was inspired by the episode.

TIME IS THE BEST WARRIOR
Hard Luck Harrigan was captured by desert pirates led by El Malmud, who said, “We searched your belongings. There’s nothing of value. I should kill you?”

“I noticed that you have a wound on your leg. I can brew an elixir to heal you in three weeks.”

“Excellent, but if I’m not healed, I’ll chop of your head.”

Tarzan arrived in two weeks and saved Harrigan. “Why make such a stupid promise?

“A lot can happen in three weeks. El Malmud could die, I could die, or you could show up. Who knows, the wound might have just healed itself.

IT AIN'T EASY

May 23: On this day in 1951, the Bob Lubbers illustrated and Dick Van Buren scripted Tarzan daily newspaper story , Tarzan and the Cannibals, concluded after a run of fifty-six days. I have to say that the first few episodes look like they were drawn by Burne Hogarth. The story features a lost woman, Peggy Storb, who Tarzan must rescue. The amazing thing is that Peggy has lived in Africa for years and has never heard of Tarzan.

You can read the entire story arc at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag48/4874.html

The drabble for today, “It Ain't Easy,” was inspired by the episode and on this Memorial Day weekend by the brave men and women around the world, who when faced with overwhelming odds, didn’t give up.

IT AIN'T EASY

Tarzan strained against his bonds. Peggy Storb, his fellow captive said. “You’re rubbing your wrists raw. They have us outnumbered a hundred to one. We can’t win.”

“I know.”

“We’re doomed. We can’t even survive.”

“Probably not.”

“Then why keep trying?”

“Two men in the Yukon were surrounded by wolves. One said, “They’ll probably kill us, but I’m going to keep the fire burning as long as I can.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Resist until your last breath. Make the enemy think twice the next time and serve as an example to others. It’s easy to quit. I don’t choose easy.”

SELF-AWARENESS

May 24: On this day in 1994, S03E22, “Tarzan and Cheetah’s Desperate Adventure,” of the Wolf Larson / Lydie Denier Tarzan television series, was broadcast.
An excellent summary and review of the episode, written by Charles Mento, is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag75/7554.html#71. It also includes several screen captures that are included here.
The episode is a retrospective of Cheetah’s life. In the episode, we learn that Cheetah has an old girlfriend named Juliette. Roger and Tarzan reminisce about all of the trouble Cheetah’s gotten into over the years. Roger decides that Cheetah is his best friend. Cheetah is sad because he doesn’t think that Tarzan and Roger care about him anymore. The message of the episode is a good one, “Friendship is the best medicine.”
The drabble for today is, “Self-Awareness,” and it was inspired by the episode. It’s dedicated to the those pompous self-entitled folks with no self-awareness, whether they pose with combed over hair or silly hats of yesteryear.

SELF-AWARENESS
Roger said, “Tarzan, I realize that Cheetah is actually my best friend, well, except for you and Jane.”

“Cheetah’s my best friend, well, except for you and Jane. We’ve had so many wonderful adventures.”

“Cheetah’s gotten in so much trouble, but he’s always survived.”
“He’s clever and he takes care of himself.. Some men believe the world owes them life, happiness, and to always have their own way.”

“I’m confused.”
“Most men go wrong by thinking they’re important. When you put on a white Panama hat and strut around, the gods laugh at you and the jungle slaps you down.”

THE MAN WHO WOULD BE BURROUGHS

May 25: On this day n 1934, Edgar Rice Burroughs warned the Melbourne Australia Police that there was an imposter posing as Edgar Rice Burroughs. ERB was in Tarzana.

The drabble for today, “The Man Who Would be Burroughs,” was inspired by the incident.

THE MAN WHO WOULD BE BURROUGHS

After about two hours, the oversee operator connected ERB with the Melbourne Police Department. “Hello, this is Edgar Rice Burroughs in California. Some yahoo is running around your town pretending to be me.”

The desk sergeant said, “That’s terrible. I got his autograph yesterday.”

“I received a hotel bill this morning. I’ve never been in Australia.”

“Yes, Sir. I’ll let the chief and all of the hotels know. Anything else I can help you with.”

“Tell him if he’ll pay the mortgage, the car payment, and help with tuition, he can pretend to be me as long as he wants.

CALL TO ARMS

May 26, 2026 and eight years ago on this day in 2018, I posted the first of what is rapidly approaching 3000 consecutive “On this Day” posts and drabbles about the extend world of writer Edgar Rice Burroughs. This seems like as good a day as any to reprise the first one.

The drabble was titled, “Call To Arms,” ad was inspired by the novel, Thuvia, Maid of Mars. For the unfans who read this, a banth is a large Martian feline predator, a lion on steroids as it were.

CALL TO ARMS

The banth led a simple life, eat, sleep, and eat again. When there was a female in the area, he’d pursue a playful romp, but he hadn’t scented a female in a long time.

He awoke to the sound of the flyer crash and caught a female scent, but it was different. ]The she was a Red Martin with strong coercive powers. Thuvia commanded he free her from the wreckage. He carried her to Helium. She thanked him by guiding him to a female. He heard her mating call. There’s nothing more insistent than the come-hither scream of a she-banth.

OFF SCRIPT

May 27: On this day in 1971, Actor Chips Raffery, S01E28, “The Circus,” and S01E19, “Captain Jai.” Ron Ely Tarzan TV series, died at age sixty-two of a heart attack in New South Wales. John William Pilbean Goffage MBE, known professionally as Chips Rafferty, was an Australian actor and producer, often alled "the living symbol of the typical Australian" In Captain Jai, he played Dutch Jensen and reprised the role for The Circus. Rafferty appeared in over fifty films and television shows, including The G.I.R.L. From Uncle, The Monkees, The Big Valley, The Wackiest Ship in the Army, Mutiny on the Bounty, The Sundowners, and King of the Coral Sea.

Details about the entire Ron Ely Tarzan series are available starting at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7421.html .These two episodes are detailed at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7427.html#28 and

https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7425.html#19

The drabble for today is, “Off Script,” and it was inspired by scene in The Circus where Rafferty disguised himself as a native and lost most of his pants.

OFF SCRIPT

Chips Rafferty, playing Dutch Jensen, disguised himself as a native, but the scene didn’t; go as planned. Raffery got smoke in his eyes and tripped. His grass skirt came apart and his polka-dot underpants were exposed. He wasn’t menacing and the natives laughed while he crawled away and tried keeping his pants up.

Actress Sally Kelleman said, “Ron, if anyone says that the chips are down, I’m going to shoot myself.”

Ely laughed and asked the director, “Another take?”

“Oh hell no. This is so much better than the way I planned the scene. The Three Stooges would be proud.”

FATHER OF DIAMONDS

May 28: On this day in 1934, E07, Legend of the Father of Diamonds, of the radio serial, Tarzan and the Diamond of Asher, was broadcast. The radio serial, the novel, “Tarzan and the Forbidden City,” and the magazine version of the story, “The Red Star of Tarzan,” have long been intwined in a which came first controversy, but that’s a conversation for another time. The cast included Carlton KaDell as Tarzan, Ralph Scott as D’Arnot, Jenette Nolan as Magra, Don Wilson as Lal Traask, and Victor Rodman as Wolf. Not a bad group.

The spelling of the title, Asher, Ashair varies depending on the source. The spelling of Carlton KaDell’s name changes as the wind blows.

This episode is summarized at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag1/0153.html The entire series is available at https://www.erbzine.com/mag23/2338.html for your listening pleasure – free, no pay wall.

The drabble for today was inspired by the episode.

FATHER OF DIAMONDS

Tarzan leads an expedition organized to search for the lost scientist Brian Gregory. The party consists of young Gregory’s father, sister Helen, Magra, a mysterious Eurasian woman, and Wolf and Larsen – two hunters who believe Tarzan to be Brian Gregory and that he has a map showing the location of the forbidden city of Ashair, where is hidden an enormous gem known as the Father of Diamonds. Tarzan overhears Wolf threatening Magra and drops to the jungle floor behind the German. Wolf whirls, his hand streaks to the gun at his hip and …..‘tune in for our next exciting episode.”

FADED MEMORY

May 29: On this day in 1946, the Rex Maxon Tarzan daily story arc, Tarzan and Norma, began: 1946. The story arc ran for 40 episodes. Professor Martin and his daughter, Norma, are exploring Africa when the professor is killed by a panther. Tarzan saves Norma from another panther, but he’s injured and she helps him. She is later assaulted by a great ape named Trolat, who Tarzan fights to save her. Wow! This storyline sounds familiar. A professor and his daughter. Trolat /Tublat. The tale is an echo, a reverberation if you will, of the original novel.

All forty exciting episodes are available to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag61/6128.html

The drabble for today, “Faded Memory,” was inspired by the newspaper comic story arc, “Norma,” and by those whose work is a faint echo of what was previously written by others. It begs the question, is there an echo when there’s no one to listen. Oh, wait, did a tree fall in the forest?

FADED MEMORY

Norma and Tarzan walked through a steep canyon. Norma stopped, listened, and fearfully moved closer to Tarzan. “I hear lions, but I can’t tell where they are. There are lions to the left, lions to the right and I’m the only prey around.”

“There aren’t any lions. What you hear is but an echo, a reverberation of lions who roared, but long gone.”

“We’re safe then?”

“We are. Reverberation is like memories fading into oblivion, things that aren’t important anymore. Things that grasp for significance, but no one hears and no one cares.”

“That’s pretty harsh.”

“The truth often is.”

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

May 30: On this day in 1953, the Bob Lubbers illustrated and Dick Van Buren scripted Tarzan daily newspaper comic strip, “Tarzan and the Arabs,” concluded. All seventy of the daily episodes are available for your reading pleasure at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag53/5327.html

In the episode, Tarzan assumes an alias, John Shea of the French Foreign Legion. The legionnaires are embroiled in a series of battles with a tribe of Arabs. Tarzan goes further undercover to spy on the tribesmen, but his cover is blown. A dancer named, Lassa, warns the apeman to escape and the two of them flee for their lives. Tarzan fights a lion to save Lassa and after spurning her advances, reunites her with her family. The illustration accompanying tis article isn't the last one in the story arc, but one I chose because of the artwork.

The drabble for today, “One Battle After Another,” was inspired by the story arc, a recent movie, and a line uttered by John Wayne in the film, “In Harm’s Way.”

ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

Tarzan said to the commander of the Foreign Legion. “We’ve been fighting these nomadic tribesmen for a week. Will this battle never end?”

The commander grimaced. “We can’t quit. We’re surrounded. If we stop fighting, we’ll die. They don’t take prisoners.”

“We’ve killed several of them. I’d think they’d quit fighting and leave us in peace. I suppose they like fighting.”

“I doubt that very much. The have leaders giving them orders. Leaders who are safely hidden from us. The men who actually fight are like all soldiers. All battles are fought by scared men who’d rather be somewhere else.”

CONTRIBS OF YESTERYEAR

May 31: On this day in 1914, the Chicago Tribune published CONTIBS OF YESTERYEAR, the last of the poems ERB submitted to the newspaper under the pseudonym, Norman Bean. Interesting choice of pseudonym, I wonder if it will ever catch on. The Tribune published eight poems under the Norman Bean name. The first three in 1910, two in 1911, two in 1914, and one in 1915. Ed started writing UNDER THE MOONS OF MARS in July 1911. He’d already had three poems published using the name Norman Bean before then, and would have two more ‘Norman Bean’ poems published before the novel began seriation in All-Story Magazine. The use of the Norman Bean pseudonym prior to ERB’s submission of UNDER THE MOONS OF MARS, demostrates Burroughs didn’t just create it for the submittal of his first novel to All-Story Magazine.

The Norman Bean poems published by the Chicago Tribune are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0003.html#8

The drabble for today is the poem, CONTRIBS OF YESTERYEAR. It is exactly 100 words long, including the title. It’s a look at the joy of seeing his name on a published piece of work..

CONTRIBS OF YESTERYEAR

From out the yellow, musty past
Of faded files and drear
I wriggle from oblivion
To answer, “Master, here!”
My old blood starts and almost flows -
Ah, memory sublime! -
Of long gone day when first I made -
(Aw, shucks! that doesn’t rime.)
Yet once again before I go
To reap reward condign,
I’m glad that I have heard the call -
The old call of the line;
The call that’s old, yet ever young,
Nor time, nor age can stint;
The ancient call for which I fall -
To see my name in print.

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