ERBzine 8060a: Drabbles April 16-30 2025

ANTIANGEL UNAWARE

April 16: The directors of two Tarzan films died on this day years ago, Byron Haskin, “Tarzan’s Peril,” died in 1989 and Cy Endfield, “Tarzan’s Savage Fury,” died in 1995.

For details about “Tarzan’s Peril: https://www.erbzine.com/mag19/1951.html

And for “Tarzan’s Savage Fury: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0580.html

Both films featured Lex Barker as Tarzan.

Endfield’s career was interrupted by the Hollywood Blacklist in the 1950s He’s best know for his film “Zulu” and for the 1961 film, “Mysterious Island.”

Byron Haskin, well known for his special effects, also directed, “War of the Worlds,” “Treasure Island,” “The Sea Hawk,” “The Sea Wolf,” the Star Trek pilot episode, and the Outer Limits episode, “Demon With a Glass Hand,” generally regarded as the genesis for the Terminator films.

The drabble, “Antiangel Unaware,” for today revisits our obnoxious acquaintance, Major Bouncingbutt, a colonial governor and unread author living deep in the heart of Africa. A tip of the hat for the final sentence to “Bull Durham, a film that used the line. I won’t give them credit for creating it – I’d been using it since the 1960s.

ANTIANGEL UNAWARE

Tarzan said, “The bearers delivered three thousand copies of his new book to Major Bouncingbutt today. They said he has two rooms filled with books he can’t sell."

Jane laughed, “No surprise. He won’t let anyone market them or sell them for him. He must be using them to insulate his house.”

“He won’t listen to anyone. The natives are about to revolt. The colonists have circulated a recall petition and sent it to the queen. He has no idea how rude, obnoxious, and self-centered he is."

“Tarzan, life is a blessing for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.”

CLOTHING IS OPTIONAL

April 17: On this day in 1943, Author Jim Malachowski, who wrote “Song of Opar.” was born. In Cumberland, Maryland. Happy Birthday, Jim.

Glamour photography has always been an interest for Jim, and one he still enjoys today. “Song of Opar” features his photography as interior graphics. The book cover is by Joe Jusko.

Jim has been a member of the Burroughs Bibliophiles, a literary society devoted to the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs, since the mid-1970s. Frequently unappreciated, Jim has selflessly attempted to help other writers publish their work.

“Song of Opar,” approved by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc., is his first novel. It springs from his long interest in Edgar Rice Burroughs writings. Particularly the Tarzan novels, and specifically the novels which featured the lost city of Opar and its queen – La.

<>“Song of Opar” is available for purchase at: https://www.amazon.com/Song-Opar-Jim.../dp/1387643630

Jim has an excellent article about the novel located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag64/6420.html

The drabble for today, “Clothing Optional,” is an excerpt from the article by Jim available at ERBzine.

CLOTHING IS OPTIONAL

When it came to creating a woman for male readers to lust over, ERB probably did a better job than even he anticipated. La exudes sex in every scene in which she appears and gives hints of her innocent sexuality. There is always the insinuation of nudity about her. She is always topless and uses bits of bangles and animal skins to gird her loins. She seems to be unaware of her effect on Tarzan. However, as Tarzan is the first man she has ever been attracted to, she is quite capable of flaunting her charms to capture his attention.

TIME ISN'T ON MY SIDE

April 18: On this day in 1914, the newspaper serialization of The Eternal Lover in NYC’s “The Evening World,” concluded. The novel featured ERB’s first take on reincarnation and love that survives death and is revisited time and time again in the many lives of the lovers. This was a theme explored by H. Rider Haggard in “She” and the novel's numerous, but mostly unknown sequels.

In the novel, Nu, son of Nu, and Victoria Custer, are reincarnated again and again, only to find each other and fall into mostly unconsummated love. Victoria was and is Nat-al, Nu’s first love in some long ago neolithic age. Victoria finds Nu in a cave where he has been preserved. (Resurrection of Jimber-Jaw, anyone?) They rekindle their old love. This first story has a real cliffhanger ending. Victoria tells Nu that their love can never be. He’s a cave man and she’s a modern woman. Nu decides that dying and being reincarnated is the only way that he and Victoria (Nat-al) can be together he prepares to impale himself on his own spear.

The drabble for today, “Time Isn’t On My Side,” was inspired by the novel, “The Eternal Lover.” https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0759.html

A tip of the hat to Woody Allen for the last line.

TIME ISN'T ON MY SIDE

Nu, son of Nu, who had emerged alive from the cave where he’d been buried for eons, said, “Victoria, I knew you as Nat-al. We loved each other.”

Victoria said, “I know that. I’ve lived a thousand lives waiting for you. I’m a woman of this age and you’re still the brave man who hunted saber tooth cats. We can never live together until you are reborn.”

‘So I must die first?

“Yes, what was Nu, must be new again.”

“Do you think that will work.”

‘Maybe. I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my past lives and I still don’t.”

FERRET

April 19: On this day in 1992, episode #22 / #19, “Tarzan and the Deadly Gift,” of the Wolf Larson Tarzan TV series, was broadcast. A quick note that the episodes were not released in the order in which they were filmed. Different sources give the episodes different numbers, but regardless of the number assigned, “Deadly Gift” was broadcast of April 19, 1992

The series featured Wolf Larson as Tarzan, Lydie Denier as Jane, Sean Roberge as Roger and Richard Eden guest starred as Blake.

A summary of this episode and all the rest is available at www.erbzine.com. This episode is at https://erbzine.com/mag74/7459.html. The photo montage with this post is courtesy of ERBzine.

Blake returned to the jungle intent on romancing Jane. Blake gave Jane a ferret as a gift but the animal was a transmitter of a deadly disease and it got loose. Having owned a ferret, I can say without fear of contradiction that ferrets always get loose. Tarzan must capture it before it threatens the native wildlife. The best line in the episode could be, ““I mean no sane person is going to give a chimp dynamite.” Another candidate for the best line is one that is self-evident. Tarzan says, “Some people do not belong in jungle.”

The drabble for today is, “Ferret,” inspired by “The Deadly Gift.” I had a found ferret when I lived in New Orleans. It just came in through the dog door and stayed for about three years before it moved on.

FERRET

Blake gave Jane a caged ferret. “It will love you, Jane, just as I do.”

Jane asked, “You never give up, do you? Does it have a name, If it’s a female, I’ll call it Ferret Fawcett.”

“No, it’s a male. There’s a French song about him, “Ferret Jacques.”

“Is it tame?”

“Jane, it’s not feral.”

“I have no idea what it eats or drinks.”

“Well, Jane a ferret is a weasel. You should ask what it likes to drink.”

“Jane stroked the little ferret. “Okay, my cute little friend. What do you want to drink?”

“Pop,” went the weasel.”

DON'T HOG THE FUN

April 20: On this day in 1921, Edgar Rice Burroughs ERB wrote the Department of Agriculture for information about building a smoke house and about curing bacon. He planned to slaughter and cure some of his hogs. ED had raised some prize Berkshire hogs and he decided that it was time to slaughter, smoke, cure, and otherwise prepare them for the dining room table. Ed raised Angora goats and Berkshire hogs on Tarzana Ranch. He used his own ranch as the model for Rancho Del Granado (Ranch of Livestock), the ranch in his novel, “The Girl From Hollywood,” but the Pennington’s mostly raised cattle on their fictional ranch.

The letter to the Department of Agriculture is not available, but it is referenced at: https://www.erbzine.com/bio/years20.html

The fictitious 100 word drabble for today, “Don’t Hog the Fun,” was inspired by the incident.

DON'T HOG THE FUN

Edgar Rice Burroughs reviewed the letter from the Department of Agriculture about how to slaughter hogs, build a smoke house, smoke the hams, and cure bacon.

He handed the letter to his son. “Hulbert, much work to be done. I don’t want to be a pig about it so share and share alike. You kill and slaughter the hogs. I’ll build the smokehouse.”

“I think not. I’m happy to take them to the butcher, but I’m not going near them. Have you smelled their breath?"

“Yes, I have, Hulbert. Remember that hog’s breath is better than no breath at all.”

TRUTH OR DARE

April 21: On this day in 1882, actor True Boardman, who appeared in “Tarzan of the Apes” and “The Romance of Tarzan” was born in Cleveland, Ohio. Some sources say that he was born in 1880. The actor appeared in over 150 silent pictures before dying during the 1918 flu pandemic. His son, Ture Eams Boardman, had a long career as a screen writer.

Boardman portrayed John Clayton, Lord Greystoke, Tarzan’s father in both films. Boardman made 19 silent films about the character, Bronco Billy, and a half dozen about Slippery Sam.

Tarzan of the Apes, 1918: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0503.html

The Romance of Tarzan: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0504.html

Just a quick note that the working title for “The Romance of Tarzan,” was “The Marriage of Tarzan,” a title that if retained might have made things a little easier for librarians who weren’t curst with doing research.

The fictional drabble for today, “True or Dare,” was inspired by the career of True Boardman.

TRUTH OR DARE

Elmo Lincoln sat with True Boardman, the actor who played his father in “Tarzan of the Apes.

“True seems like an unusual name. Is it religious like Patience, Hope, or Charity?”

“No, I was born William True Boardman. My dad went by Bill and William. I went by True. Elmo’s not exactly Bob or James, is it.”

“I liked it better than Otto. Especially after the war. Otto sounds German. If you don’t mind my saying, you look a little pale.”

“Don’t feel too well. There’s an unusual bug going around.”

“Small pox? Scarlet fever?”

“No, it’s strange, but flu.”

GO OUT WITH A BANG

April 22: On this day in 1967, actor Tom Conway, who appeared as Medford, a greedy safari member, and as Fidel, a poacher, in Tarzan’s Secret Treasure, and Tarzan and the She-Devil, died in Culver City, California. The British film, radio, and television actor was best known for his portrayal of the Falcon, a suave adventurer in a number of films in the 1940s. It’s a role he took over from his younger and estranged brother, George Sanders. He also appeared in the Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie.

Details about “Tarzan’s Secret Treasure: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0621.html

<>And “Tarzan and the She-Devil: https://www.erbzine.com/mag19/1952.html

Conway died broke, surviving on the kindness of friends, including his once sister-in-law Zsa-Zsa Gabor. Conway lived the good life as best he could until the very end. Suffering from cirrhosis of the liver and dying, Tom accepted a $40,000 from his brother George Sanders, and moved to Capri to live out his days. While there, he entered a drug trial and survived. George demanded his money returned. ““I’m sorry, old boy. You’re my brother, but you are supposed to be dead. I never want to see you again.”

The drabble for today. ‘Go Out With a Bang,” is excerpted from an interview with Zsa-Zsa Gabor about her brother-in-law, Tom Conway, the Falcon in the movies and the Saint on the radio.

GO OUT WITH A BANG

"His ex-wife called and said that this time Tom was dying. I visited him at the hospital and when I left, I gave him $200. “Tip the nurses a little bit so they’ll be good to you." The next day the hospital called and said that Tom had disappeared. He took my $200, gone to see his girlfriend, gotten drunk, and then went to bed with her. He died, right there in her bed. I contacted his brother, George, but he was still so livid about an unpaid debt and he wouldn’t even show up at to identify Tom’s body."

OVER MY DEAD BODY

April 24: On this day in 1956, British actor Henry Stephenson, who played Sir Thomas Lancing in Tarzan Finds a Son, and Sir Gury Henderson in Tarzan and the Amazons, died in San Francisco.
For details about “Tarzan Finds a Son”: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0620.html|
And “Tarzan and the Amazons”: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0625.html
Stephenson specialized in portraying wise, dignified, kind, and friendly British gentlemen. Stephenson appeared in 90 films from 1917 to 1951. He often played historical figures like Sir Joseph Banks in the Oscar-winning adventure film Mutiny on the Bounty (1935) andFlorimond Claude in Aarine Antonette (1938). <>Stephenson worked with film star Errol Flynn in the films Captain Blood, The Charge of the Light Brigade, The Prince and the Pauper, and The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex, often as Flynn's paternal friend and superior.
The drabble for today, “Over My Dead Body,” is inspired by gentleman actor, Henry Stephenson and three of Edgar Rice Burroughs most famous characters.

OVER MY DEAD BODY
Tarzan, John Carter and Carson Napier visited after a funeral. John Carter said, “When I die, I want great white apes to devour my body. I’ll live as part of their troop forever.”

Carson said, “Just before death, I’ll astrally project myself into the sun. My spirit will warm the Earth.”

Tarzan said, “Hadn’t considered solar cremation. The ape thing sounds really cool. Gorillas aren’t carnivores . Chimpanzees are. Don’t care to be Purina Chimpchow.”

They toasted. Tarzan smiled. “I know. Cremation and scatter my remains over a rhino poacher’s camp. I hope he chokes. He can kiss my ash.”

HEAD AND SHOULDERS

ROBERT ALLEN LUPTON

April 25: On this day in 1943, The final “John Carter of Mars” Sunday newspaper strip episode #69 Captive, was published. The strip was written by John Coleman Burroughs. His wife, Jane Ralston Burroughs modeled for Dejah Thoris and assisted with the lettering and backgrounds. She made references that she also did some of the character illustrations.
The Sunday strip struggled from the beginning. The first episode coincided with the attack on Pearl Harbor. America became focused on the war and very few newspapers picked up the strip. Nevertheless, it survived for sixty-nine weeks in syndication. Seventy-two episodes were written and illustrated, but only 69 were published.
All 72 episodes are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag3/0338.html
The unpublished episodes are produced in black and white.
The 100 word drabble for today, “Head and Shoulders,” was inspired by that episode, wherein John Carter is captured by the Warhoons, a Green Martian tribe that in this comic story arc are known to be headhunters.

HEAD AND SHOULDERS
Dejah Thoris and Sola, a green Martian female watched from afar as the Warhoon leader knocked out John Carter, bound him, and then carried him away.”

Dejah cried, “They’ve killed him, haven’t they?”
Sola answered, “They haven’t. Warhoons don’t restrain dead men. Neither do the headhunters carry the dead away with them, at least they don’t carry the entire body, only the heads.”

“Well, he’s a captive of the most vicious tribe on the planet. He’s injured, weaponless, and outnumbered. Where I came from, we wouldn’t exactly call that living.”

YOU DON'T LIVE HERE

April 26: On this day in 1994, episode # 14, season 3, “Tarzan and the Rock Star,” the Wolf Larson Tarzan television series, aired.   https://www.erbzine.com/mag75/7548.html#53.
Various internet sites assign different episode numbers to the episodes and list the air dates somewhat randomly. The syndicated series was broadcast in different markets on different days.
    Actress Kylie Travis played Starr Reily, a spoiled rock star who is forced to land in the jungle. Wolf Larson and Lydie Denier were Tarzan and Jane. Kylie had a short acting career with only eleven credits listed on IMDB.
She retired in 2001.A spoiled and selfish heavy metal rock star crash landed in the jungle. She's forced to stay a couple extra days because of a bad storm.
Over time, she became more self-aware, and began to treat people better.Tarzan refused to help Starr Reilly, a spoiled musician, after her plane has been forced down with engine trouble because of her rude and arrogant behavior.
With the approaching monsoon everyone needed to work together and Starr learned from Tarzan to be respectful of both people and his animal friends.
    The drabble for today is “You Don’t Live Here,” and it was inspired by the episode, “Tarzan and the Rock Star.” <>

YOU DON'T LIVE HERE
Rock star, Starr Reilly, said, “Tarzan, this monkey is annoying. Make him leave.”
“Cheetah lives here. You don’t. If anyone leaves, it’s you.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“I know you’re a spoiled brat.”
“I’ve sold twenty million records.”
“Not around here, you haven’t.”
“I demand you repair my plane.”
“Don’t take orders from entitled people.”
“Jane,” begged Starr. “Make him help me.”
“Time to kiss the monkey.”
“This monkey?”
“It’s a phrase meaning get over yourself and behave. We don’t care who you are somewhere else. Your emergency isn’t ours. Ask, don’t demand. Say please and thank you!”

April 27, 2025 and sixty-six years ago on this day in 1959, singer, rock star, and actress, Sheena Easton, was born in Bellshill, Lanarkshire, Scotland. Sheena voiced in the episode, “The Fountain” of Disney’s “The Legend of Tarzan” animated series.

She recorded a little music from time to time. She became one of the most successful British female recording artists of the 1980s.

Easton became the first and only recording artist in Billboard history to have a top-five hit on each of Billboard's primary single charts: "9 to 5" (Pop and Adult Contemporary), “We’ve Got Tonight” with Kenny Rogers “Country, and Sugar Walls (R&B and Dance.) Her discography includes fifteen studio albums. fifty-five singles and twenty consecutive US singles, including fifteen top forty hits, seven top tens and one number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100 and has combined records sales of over 20 million records worldwide. In 1981, Easton recorded “For Your Eyes Only” as the theme song for the same named James Bond Film.

Sheena played Professor Robin Doyle, who had come to Africa to study a native tribe with Professor Porter. Their studies soon reveal that several on the men are extremely old, but still strong and healthy. The men tell the professors about a great fountain. Professor Porter, who is enamored of his younger colleague, although he feels too old for her, searches of the fountain.

The first comic book appearance of “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle” was in January, 1938 and the television series starring Irish McCalla was broadcast in 1956 and 1957.

For a complete list of the episodes and a brief summary of each one: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0014.html

The drabble for today, “Rock and Roll Will Never Die,” was inspired by the episode, The Fountain,” of Disney’s animated television series, “The Legend of Tarzan,” “Edgar Rice Burroughs’ many books that included imortality themes, and of course, the magnificent Sheena Easton.

Professor Porter and the beautiful Porfessor Doyle went found the fountain that the native men claimed granted long life and vigor to those who drank from it.

Porter said, “Once I drink, I’ll regain my youth. I won’t be too old for you anymore.”

Robin Doyle replied, “We all age. There’s no magic water. You can rage, diet, meditate, and exercise all you want. Run all the way to heaven, but you’re still gonna die.”

“That seems quite cynical.”

“Only music lives forever. Ask Motzart, Brahms, or Strauss. It will go on forever. Rock and Roll is here to stay!”

April 28. 2025. The 2500 entry in the “On This Day With Edgar Rice Burroughs” series and on this day forty years ago in 1985, the New York Times published the article, “You Not Tarzan, Me Not Jane.” The "Me Tarzan" non-quote will ever be haunting the hallways of the world of ERB. This article, at least, got it right, with an extensive discussion of what Tarzan and Jane actually said to each other that long ago day in the jungle. The “Me, Tarzan, You Jane” quote attributed to Weissmuller’s Tarzan was never actually spoken. Another famous quote that was not in the film is “Play it again, Sam.” The line was not actually in “Casablanca.”

A third example is the line often misquoted as "Luke, I am your father" is actually "No, I am your father". This iconic line is spoken by Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back.

Details about the film, “Tarzan the Ape Man:” https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0611.html

The drabble today, “Out of Context,” is excerpted from that New York Times article and is attributed to “Judge Newman.”

This is the most widely used quotation of a nonexistent line from movie dialogue exceeding in frequency the well-known and equally nonexistent line 'Play it again, Sam.'

Recently, a case in our court brought to our attention the exact lines from the original 1932 film 'Tarzan, the Ape Man.'

This obscure but significant judicial footnote –doesn’t merely show the difficulty of teaching language to apemen, but provides irrefutable proof that a phrase our society has come to believe was once said, was not said. It’s a superb specimen of ''near-miss quotation,'' and we thank the Federal bench's record-straightening Second Circuit.

April 29, 2025 and ninety years ago on this day in 1935, Argosy Weekly rejected the novel with the working title, “Tarzan and Jane.” The story was promptly purchased by Blue Book Magazine and serialized under the title “Tarzan’s Quest.” The first Blue Book installment featured a cover illustration by Herbert Morton Stoops.

This story features Jane’s last appearance in a Tarzan novel and a successful search for an immortality drug.

Details about the book’s publishing history, several illustrations, reviews, and an electronic version of the novel: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0727.html

The 100 word drabble, “Forever is a Long Time, for today was inspired by the novel, Jane’s departure from the series, the immortality drug, and the song “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights,” written by Jim Steinman and recorded by Meatloaf. The drabble is excerpted from the song. I’m sure that Steinman didn’t plan the verse as a comment on immortality, but here it is.

I couldn't take it any longer
Good Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!
So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
' Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
So I can end my time with you!

STAR POWER

April 30: On this day in 2007, the Tarzan of my childhood and still my favorite, Actor Gordon Scott, died.
Scott, who was born as Gordon Merrill Werschkul, appeared as Tarzan in the films:
Tarzan’s Hidden Jungle, Tarzan and the Lost Safari, Tarzan’s Fight for Life, Tarzan and the Trappers, Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure, Tarzan the Magnificent.
All these films are well covered at: www.ERBzine.com/movies
After concluding his career as Tarzan Scott moved to Italy where he made several spaghetti sword and sandals films including, Goliath, Remus, Hercules, Zorro, Julius Caesar, and Sampson.
He was the only Tarzan to marry his co-star from a Tarzan film, “Tarzan’s Hidden Jungle,” He married Vera Miles, who played Jill Hardy, not Jane.
Details about Scott and several photographs: https://www.erbzine.com/mag17/1793.html
After his film career ended, Scott lived his final years in obscurity.
The 100-word drabble, “Star Power,” for today is a series of quotations credited to Gordon Scott.

STAR POWER
I was exercising near the pool when an agent said producer Sol Lesser was looking for a new Tarzan. I said, ‘Fine, let’s do it.’
Being an actor is one thing I never thought about, but once you're in it, it spoils you for anything else if you're successful.
The money's so easy, you meet beautiful people. My God, that's the ideal situation - kind of a fantasy world. It's the best way to travel too.
First class, and you get to see a lot of interesting places. Tarzan was ideal for me because I didn't have too much dialogue.