ERBzine 8221a: Drabbles Dec 16-31, 2025

ONLY SKIN DEEP

December 16: On this day in 1944, the Rex Maxon scripted and illustrated Tarzan daily story arc, “The Savage Woman,” concluded after a run of fifty-eight episodes. In the story arc, Tarzan saved, Kristin, a blonde woman from drowning. “Tawn,” aka the Savage Woman, became insanely jealous. She’s worried that Tarzan will leave her for Kristin, It’s later established that Tarzan isn’t “with “Tawn.” Tarzan and both women end up a a ship manned by poachers and pirates. While fighting the poacher/pirates Tawn and Kristin become friends.

This entire story arc, and every daily comic story arc by Rex Maxon, is available at https://www.erbzine.com/maxon This one is at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag54/5459.html

The drabble for today, Only Skin Deep, was inspired by the story arc.

ONLY SKIN DEEP

Kristin said, “Thank you for saving me, but your girlfriend doesn’t like me.”

“Tawn is not my girlfriend. She lives with leopards, the same way I used to live with the great apes.”

“I know the word, tawny, but not the word, ‘tawn.” Does ‘Tawn” mean something in leopard talk.”

“All jungle creatures speak much the same language and in the language of the jungle, tawn means golden brown and it refers to her skin color. My name, Tarzan, means white skin.”

“But your skin is tanned much darker than hers.”

“I never said that leopards were good with colors.”

CAST AND MISCAST
December 17: On this day in 1927, Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote a home movie script, a silent slapstick melodrama, called "Tarzan Pictures Presents 'Them Thar Papers." The cast included all family members, James Pierce, and Joan's friend Miss Florence Gilbert. There’s no evidence that the film was made. No copy is known to exist. The script might be hidden in the Vaults of Opar, I mean the vaults at Edgar Rice Burroughs Incorporated. If it does, perhaps some day we’ll see it or read it. A full summary of the script is featured in ERBzine under ERB: Playwright and Actor at https://www.erbzine.com/mag36/3674.html
"Them Thar Papers," written as a burlesque of the typical silent film of the period, has the standard camera instructions, including various "close-ups," "long shots," and comical titles to indicate the dialogue. "The script for this slapstick melodrama, written by Ed for a home movie, is a superthriller of the wide open spaces outdoors with the doors open." The search for the mysterious papers turns out to be a comedy of errors, with the wrong ones, cigarette papers and fly paper, being delivered to Paw. At the end of the drama the Kid triumphantly produces what Paw has been looking for — the Sunday papers. Giving the Kid and Nell his paternal blessing, Paw cries, "Take her, my boy, and God help you!"

The drabble for today, “Cast and Miscast,” was inspired by Ed’s unpublished melodrama.

CAST AND MISCAST

Edgar Rice Burroughs said, “Surprise. For Christmas we’re making a movie. It’s called Tarzan Pictures Presents Them Thar Papers.’ Joan’s friends, James and Florence are going to join us.”

‘Tarzan Pictures, really?”

Ed said, “We own Tarzan Pictures, why use a different name. The script features the actors, James and Joan, playing Tarzan and Jane, a photographer name Hulbert, an artist called Jack, a successful actress, Flo, and a matriarch, Emma.”

Joan shook her head. “Dad, that’s just us. That’s too easy.”

“No, Joan, It will be harder than you think. I never said that anyone gets to play themself.”

TIME, TIDE, AND BABIES

December 18: On this day in 1941, Ed’s “Laugh If Off” column, part of which concerned the “Red Cross Girls” was published in the “Honolulu Star-Bulletin.” We all love ERB for his novels and short stories, but we need to remember that he often took time to be a newspaper columnist. His Laugh it Off column is one specific example. ERB wrote the column, intended to be moral booster, in the aftermath of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

All of his 1941 “Laugh It Off” columns may be read in their entirety at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag11/1129.html The page also furnishes links to his Laugh It Off columns published in other years.

The drabble for today, “Time, Tide, and Babies,” is an excerpt from that column, slightly edited to fit the 100-word drabble format.

TIME, TIDE, AND BABIES

The Red Cross requests the ladies have their babies in the daytime. Recently, a hurry call was put in for an old Chinese midwife. Her husband gave the address to the driver who was to take the midwife. A police prowl car found the old lady pounding on the gates of King Lunalilo's tomb. After convincing the frantic midwife there was no reason to suspect that King Lunalilo was gravid, the police got her to the right house. I don’t believe the story that the baby opened the door for them; but he was there all right, waiting for them.

Click/Tap for full-size text HERE

AND WAIT, THERE'S MORE

December 19: On this on this day in 1913, Writer, Canadian Mountie, and historian, John Flint Roy, who wrote “A Guide to Barsoom, was born in Nova Scotia. John was a regular, dare I say constant, contributor to “ERB-dom,” the Hugo Award winning fanzine published by Camille Cazedessus, Jr. The International Speculative Fiction Data Base lists several of them, if not all. I expect the ISFDB is incomplete. It does give the wrong date of John’s birthday. Several other internet sources have used December 8, 1913 as his birthday.

John’s earliest contribution to ERB-dom, as far as I can determine was for issue number 8, dated December 1963 and his last I could confirm was for issue # 89, dated November 1976. Shortly after issue #89, ERB-dom was included in the fanzine, The Fantasy Collector. I confess that I didn’t review my copies of FC, they weren’t readily available to me. It’s possible that John had articles in those issues. Great man with great articles in a great magazine.

A list of all the articles appearing in ERB-dom is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag1/0117.html

I always found it interesting that a man from Nova Scotia contributed so many articles to a fanzine published in Louisiana, but then I remembered. Some people in Nova Scotia are descendants of the Acadians, French colonists who settled "Acadie" (now Nova Scotia & Maritimes) in the 1600s. The term "Cajun" is a French twist on "Acadien." Several were exiled to Louisiana, becoming the Louisiana Cajuns, while their kin stayed and thrived in the Maritimes, maintaining strong French roots and culture. Today, you'll find vibrant Acadian communities in Nova Scotia. I’m not saying that John was a Cajun, but I will say that if Nova Scotia is anything like Louisiana, anyone who lives there for any period of time and doesn’t become a Cajun in his heart, well, that person has no soul True Dat!

The fictional drabble for today, “And Wait, There’s More,” was inspired by John’s years with the Canadian Mounted Police and his years of contributions to ERB-dom, with a little lagniappe thrown in. For those of you without the Cajun spirit, lagniappe means a little something extra. Look it up. FYI, rappie pie is a traditional Arcadian dish in Nova Scotia, a casserole-like dish made from grated potatoes and broth with meat or seafood, baked until a golden, crispy crust forms on top.

AND WAIT, THERE'S MORE

John Flint Roy said, “Dear, did you mail my article to ERB-dom.”

“Yes. I included a “rappie pie” in the package as lagniappe. I don’t think they serve it in Louisiana.”

John said, “That’s great. Everyone appreciates a little something extra. I’m sure Caz will enjoy it.”

“How was work today?”

“Got my man. He killed two people in a drug deal gone bad. I charged him with murder, and then threw in charges for resisting arrest and possession with intent to sell for lagniappe.”

“Well, John, everyone likes something a little extra.”

“The lagniappe was for me, not him.”

TAKE ME TO BARSOOM

December 20: On this day in 1996, astronomer, author, professor, television host, and planetary scientist, Carl Edward Sagan, died in Seattle, Washington. . Sagan gave credit to Edger Rice Burroughs for fueling Sagan’s interest in astronomy, especially in the planet, Mars. Carl brought the cosmos into homes around the world, Cosmos being the most watched public television program in history, viewed by over 500 million people in 60 counties. Sagan was acquainted with science fiction fandom through his friendship with Isaac Asimov, and he spoke at the Nebula Awards ceremony in 1969. Asimov described Sagan as one of only two people he ever met whose intellect surpassed his own. Asimov wasn’t at all conceited. ERBzine has an excellent article about Mr. Sagan at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag13/1384.html

The drabble for today, Take Me To Barsoom, is an excerpt from an article located in the Library of Congress archives, https://www.loc.gov/.../sagans-youth-and-the-progressive... It has been slightly edited for length.

TAKE ME TO BARSOOM

Sagan was captivated by Edgar Rice Burroughs’ stories of John Carter and his exploits on the planet Mars. On several occasions he tried to recreate John Carter’s journey to the red planet. Carter traveled to Mars by standing in an open field with his arms outstretched and wishing hard enough to transport him there. When Sagan tried it as a child, he couldn’t get this method to work.

In the 19th century many thought it likely that there was intelligent life on Mars, and these ideas spurred a range of fictional works on what civilizations must be like on Mars.

RUN THOUGH THE JUNGLE

December 21: On this day in 1948, actor Samuel L. Jackson, who appeared in ‘The Legend of Tarzan,” Snakes on a Plane,” Pulp Fiction,” and so many more films that I can’t list them all, was born in Washington, DC. The International Movie Data Base lists over 200 credits for Mr. Jackson.

In “The Legend of Tarzan,” Jackson portrays George Washington Williams, an American entrepreneur and veteran of the Indian Wars who becomes an ally to Tarzan.

An excellent article about the film is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag58/5813.html

The drabble for today, “Run Through The Jungle,” is a combination of lines from Mr. Jackson’s character, George Washington Williams and Tarzan from the film, “The Legend of Tarzan.”

RUN THOUGH THE JUNGLE
George Washington Williams, a soldier of fortune, addressed John Clayton, unaware that Clayton and Tarzan were the same person. “Fine, I’m still coming with you.”

“You can’t keep up.”

“I might not be able to keep up with Tarzan, but I can sure the hell keep up with you.”

After chasing Tarzan through the jungle all day, Williams gasped and said, “I feel foolish asking, but can you really talk to animals? What I wouldn’t give for a horse right now. Why is it people don’t ride zebras?”

Tarzan said, “Horses kick to escape. Zebras continue until you are dead.”

JANE IN THE JUNGLE

<>December 22: On this day in 1959, actor, writer, producer, professor, and businessman, Wolfgang von Wyszecki, aka Wolf Larson, was born in West Berlin, Germany. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wolf played the Lord of the Jungle in seventy-five episodes of the early 1990s Tarzan television series, giving him more screen time as Tarzan than any other actor except Ron Ely. His 75 episodes ran 22 minutes each without commercials for a total of 1650 minutes. Ely’s 57 episodes ran 50-52 minutes each for over 2800 minutes.

He’s currently Vice President of ERB Entertainment at Edgar Rice Burroughs Incorporated. Some of you may wonder what qualifies him for that position, but not only is he well known in the industry, he’s the only man who played Tarzan who has an MBA. He also was a college professor teaching business and economics.

An excellent article about Wolf and the rest of the cast of his Tarzan televisions series is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7453a.html

The drabble for today, “Jane in the Jungle,” is a collection of lines spoken by Tarzan and Jane in the television series. The resulting conversation is a synthesis of those lines, not one that actually was in the series. I hope that it’s at least vaguely coherent. Jane was portrayed by Lydie Denier.

JANE IN THE JUNGLE
“Jane’s jeep became good friends with a tree. Jane is smart woman, but sometimes Jane’s mind works so hard that her eyes do not see. Tarzan will protect Jane. No more hurt.”

:Jane is a free woman. Tarzan, I know you don’t mean to be irritating…but I don’t need any of your jungle philosophy. ”

Tarzan grumbled, ““Jane is playing a dangerous game! Jane is not a fool. Just wrong. Jane is stubborn woman.”

Jane crossed her arms and replied, “ I had a good teacher. Careful, Tarzan. You’re heading for trouble.”

“Tarzan doesn’t ever want to lose Jane.”

WHISKEY FOR THE TABLE

December 23: On this day in 1942, Edgar Rice Burroughs, the world’s oldest war correspondent checked out of his hotel in New Caledonia, his 15-day bill was $13.60. Major General Rush Lincoln signed ERB’s autograph book.

Ed wrote about it in his ‘Diary of a Confused Old Man.” Read his full post, actually his entire diary at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag68/6800.html

The 100-word drabble for today, “Whiskey For The Table,” written by ERB, is excerpted from that diary and edited to fit the 100-word format.

WHISKEY FOR THE TABLE

Paid my bill preparatory to checking out. December 8 to 23 -- $13.60! For both room and board.

Army transportation picked up me and Capt. Freeman. He’d received orders to go to Sydney. Supper at 4:30. We had carried our gear to a big barracks. After dark we went in and sat on our cots and got acquainted. Hogberg produced a full bottle of Harper's. After that, acquaintance ripened rapidly. We had no glasses, but there were a couple of canteens of warm water. Hogberg was to fly to VITI LERU Levu the following day. I hope he had another bottle.

YOU SOUNDED TALLER ON THE TELEPHONE

December 24 Christmas Eve: and on this day in 1931, actor Robert Ridgely, the animated Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle television series was born in Teaneck, New Jersey. In addition to being the voice of Tarzan, Ridgely voiced numerous cartoon characters including Flash Gordon, Thundarr, Kraven the Hunter, and Jack Pumpkinhead of Oz. Ridgely is better known for his film appearances as a hangman, playing the role in “Blazing Saddles” and “Robin Hood, Men in Tights.” From 1985 to 1996, Ridgely was one of ABC's main primetime promo announcers.

A list of every episode of the animated “Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle,” is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0014.html#filmation

The drabble for today is, “You Sounded Taller on the Telephone,” and it was inspired by the actor Robert Ridgely.

YOU SOUNDED TALLER ON THE TELEPHONE

Don Towsly, the producer said, “Mr. Ridgely, you don’t look anything like Tarzan.”

“It’s animation, sir. Close your eyes and listen. Don’t I sound like Tarzan?”

“Well, you do, actually. That’s amazing. I wonder if anyone else knows that people can visualize a character by the way they sound when the speak?”

“Yes. It’s called radio.”

“That sounded sarcastic. I don’t like for people to be sarcastic with me.”

Ridgely visualized Clark Gable and said, “Frankly, Mr. Towsly, I don’t give a damn.”

Don smiled, “Rhett Butler, right? Can you do Scarlet O’Hara?”

“I will tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.”

WICKED GARDEN

December 25 Merry Christmas: and on this day in 1926, Emma gave Ed the book, “Mystery Cities Exploration and Adventures in Lubaantun” by Thomas Gann, for Christmas. The book relates the adventures of Thomas Gann as he explores the Central America in search of ancient Mayan cities.

Mystery Cities: Exploration and Adventures in Lubaantun (often associated with Thomas Gann) details expeditions to the unique Mayan city of Lubaantun in Belize, highlighting its precisely carved stone blocks, massive pyramids, and rich artifacts, especially linking it to the infamous crystal skull discovery by F.A. Mitchell-Hedges and the mystic allure surrounding it, blending archaeological findings with adventurous tales of discovery and intrigue. Gann battles pirates along Belize's coast and goes upriver with Mitchell-Hedges to the lost city of Lubaantun where they excavate a strange lost city where the crystal skull was discovered.

Lubaantun is a unique city in the Mayan world as it is built out of precisely carved blocks of stone without the usual plaster-cement facing. Lubaantun contained several large pyramids partially destroyed by earthquakes and a large amount of artefacts.

ERB is credited as one of the screenwriters for “Tarzan and the Green Goddess,” aka “The New Adventures of Tarzan.” The film takes place in Central America and features Tarzan’s encounter with those ancient civilizations. Everything you wanted to know about the film is available at https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0584.html

The drabble for today, “Wicked Garden,” is a fictional conversation inspired by Emma’s gift and the film, “Tarzan and the Green Goddess.” A quick acknowledgement to Scott Weiland and the rest of the folks in the band.

WICKED GARDEN

Emma said, “Well, I see you’re finally reading that book, “Mystery Cities: Exploration and Adventures in Lubaantun.” that I gave you a few years ago.”

“Dear, I read it then. Now, I’m using it as a reference to write the script for our new Tarzan film.”

“Will there be a crystal skull?”

“No skulls. Tarzan goes to Guatemala, encounters descendants of the Mayas, and of course, saves everyone.”

“Will there be Mayan priests chewing coca leaves and flying around on feathered serpents protecting the holy altars used for human sacrifice?”

“No, Emma. The world’s not ready for stoned temple pilots.”

TALK LIKE A MAN

December 26: On this day in 1971, actor Robert Lowery, who played Prince Selim in TARZAN’S DESERT MYSTERY died. Lowery was an American motion picture, television, and stage actor who appeared in more than 70 films. During his career, Lowery was primarily known for roles in action films such as The Mark of Zorro (1940), The Mummy's Ghost (1944), and Dangerous Passage (1944). He was the second actor to play Batman,, starring in a 1949's Batman and Robin serial.

Read all about TARZAN’S DESERT MYSTERY at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0624.html

The 100 word drabble for today is “Talk Like a Man.” It came to me when I was reading an adventure novel by a man who isn’t exactly the kind of brave honorable hero he writes about.

TALK LIKE A MAN
Major Bouncingbutt walked into the Nairobi bookstore and watched Jane signing books. “My goodness,” he said. “I had no idea that you were J. P. Greystoke. I’ve read your book."

“The publisher thought it would be best for me to use a pseudonym. It seems that adventure novels sell better if the readers believe them to be written by a man.”

“Jane, your use of first-person masculine point-of-view was so authentic, that I could almost believe the writer was a real man.”

Jane smiled, “, “Major, I’ve also read your newest book and honestly, I almost believed the same about you.”

TIME DOESN'T TAKE SIDES

December 27: On this day in 1987, the Gray Morrow illustrated and Don Kraar scripted Sunday Tarzan comic arc, Back To Pellucidar, concluded after a run of fourteen weeks. As always, with Kraar’s scripts, the story is consistent with the books and characters created by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The story features Tarzan, Jane, Jason Gridley, David Innes, Dian the Beautiful, the zeppelin O-220, the cover to the first All-Story appearance of Tarzan, a brief bio of ERB, and almost all of the races and creatures of the land at the Earth’s core.

Hundreds, actually thousands, of Tarzan newspaper Sunday pages are available to read at https://www.erbzine.com/comics This one is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag35/3522.html

The drabble for today is, “Time Doesn’t Take Sides, and it was inspired by the story arc and Pellucidar, a world where time isn’t recognized because the central sun never moves. A smile and a nod of the head to “Ghostbusters” and another to author Ray Cummings.

TIME DOESN'T TAKE SIDES
Tarzan woke to find the zeppelin missing, along with Jane and several other people.
David Innes shouted. “Pirates have stolen the airship. They’ve taken Jane and my family. With me, we’ll chase them down."

Tarzan and a rescue party set out in pursuit aboard a sailing ship. Tarzan said, “We’ll never catch them. The zeppelin be fast, but we be slow.”

Innes said, “There’s no time here, making speed irrelevant. An hour to them could be a week for us. I forget why time mattered on the surface.”

Tarzan said, “Time exists so that everything doesn’t happen all at once.”

AS HONOR DEMANDS

December 28: On this day in 1941, the fourth installment of the John Coleman Burroughs scripted and illustrated Sunday comic strip, "JOHN CARTER OF MARS,” was published in some Sunday newspapers. The episode was titled, “DEJAH THORIS,” but with the country still dealing with the attack on Pearl Harbor, the strip didn’t get much attention. John’s wife, Jane Ralston Burroughs was the model for Dejah Thoris. John’s use of light and shadow in the episode is amazing.

The strip adapts “A PRINCESS OF MARS,” and in this episode, John Carter meets and rescues Dejah Thoris from a beating at the four hands of a Green Martian. She says, “You live with the green men, yet risk your life for a stranger. Killing a high chieftain means torture and death along with me. Who are you?”

You can read every episode at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag22/2207.html

The 100 word drabble, “As Honor Demands,” was written my Edgar Rice Burroughs in the novel, A Princess of Mars.” It has been edited to fit the 100-word drabble format. FYI, you can buy a beautiful new printing of the novel from Edgar Rice Burroughs Incorporated or read an free version on ERBzine 0421: Princess of Mars ~ https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0421.html Wait, you can do both! In the novel, Tars Tarkas confronts John Carter about killing a Green Martian to save Dejah Thoris, a woman whom Carter didn’t know, and John Carter replied:

AS HONOR DEMANDS

I’m not of Barsoom; your ways aren’t my ways, and I can only act in accordance with the dictates of my conscience and guided by the standards of mine own people. Of one thing let us be sure, whatever may be your intentions toward this unfortunate young woman, whoever would offer her injury or insult in the future must figure on making a full accounting to me. I understand you belittle all sentiments of generosity and kindliness, but I do not, and I can convince your most doughty warrior that these characteristics are not incompatible with an ability to fight."

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION

December 29: On this day in 1922, Edgar Rice Burroughs submitted an article to the Los Angeles Times in which he gave his view on literary people, collecting, writers of sex stories, and boring books. The article wasn’t published. I’ve no idea if it has survived hidden in the archives in Tarzana, California, but if it has, I hope we’ll see it someday.

The drabble for today, “In My Humble Opinion,” is 100 words of pure conjecture about that article.

IN MY HUMBLE OPINION

<>“I’m proud people collect my books, but I’d rather they’d share them so that more folks could read them. I write romance and adventure. The pretentious literary people speak ill my work. Perhaps they’re jealous of my sales. Literary writing is about what people think, not what they do. Give me action instead of brooding nonsense any day. Such books are boring. Folks are writing sex stories and calling them literature. It’s my observation that the more a writer writes about sex, the less that writer actually knows about it. It’s not that different from a teenage locker room braggart."

SHEEPISH BEHAVIOR

December 30: On this day in 1918, Ed’s fictitious foreign correspondent's account of a visit to Paris, “Local Mystery,” was- is published in the Coldwater, Michigan, Daily Reporter. (Ed's sister-in-law Leila was the editor). Sometime in this period Ed bought a country place in Coldwater. The area had been a Burroughs and Hulbert family vacation spot for years.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to locate the article. I’ve reached out to the newspaper, but they haven’t responded.

The drabble for today, “Sheepish Behavior,” is a fictional account of what might be in that article, but probably isn’t.

SHEEPISH BEHAVIOR

“I arrived in Paris a week ago. The food was unusual. After a week of croissants, cheese, wine, baguettes, snails, and who knows what else, I depart with visions of a good midwestern steak dancing in my head. It’s not that I don’t like bread, cheese, and wine. I do. Snails not so much. Frog legs should be left on the frogs. Brie Noir is cheese left to rot until it turns black. At home we throw it away. However, ‘Couilles de Mouton,” was a nice surprise. At home, we call them lamb fries. I had a ball eating them.”

Hooray For Hazel

December 31: On the last day of the year, Ed’s Laugh It Off column in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin honored volunteer, Hazel Kabookele. Ed began writing the column to boost morale in Hawaii after the attack on Pearl Harbor. He eventually gave it up in frustration with the censorship imposed by the local and military authorities.

Read the entire column at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag11/1129.html#dec31

The 100-word drabble for today, “Hooray For Hazel,” is an excerpt from that column written, of course, by Edgar Rice Burroughs, slightly edited to fit the 100 word drabble requirement. A tip of the hat to singer/songwriter, Tommy Roe,” for the drabble title.

Hooray For Hazel

The civilian response to the demands made upon them since December 7 has been magnificent, but I’ve heard of no greater self-sacrifice than that of Hazel Kahookele, a volunteer worker at the medical unit at Kaneobe.

Hazel didn’t report for duty December 8. When she came on the 9th, she was full of apologies, and begged not to be discharged. She explained she had not come the day before, because her brother, her uncle, and two cousins had been killed by machine gun fire while driving their car Sunday morning. She’s been working steadily since. Deserved kudos to Hazel Kabookele!