ERBzine 8221: Drabbles Dec 1-15, 2025

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

December 1: On this day in 1911, Edgar Rice Burroughs sat down and began to write “Tarzan of the Apes.” The world would never be the same. Burroughs wrote over twenty more books featuring Lord Greystoke, Tarzan of the Apes. The exact count depends on whether or not a book in which Tarzan makes a brief appearance counts. I’ll leave that debate up to others. The book spawned newspaper comics, movies, television shows, comic books, radio shows, toys, fan organizations, new Tarzan books (approved and unapproved), and more imitators that people trying to speak with a Bogart accent. And just like those people, some do it well and some, well, not so much.

Here’s a link to the publishing history and several illustrations:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0483.html

I’m not even going to try to list everything. I’ll just say that I’m glad that after dinner that evening, ERB sat down at eight o’clock and began to write. I’m also thankful that he made two changes while crafting his first draft. Zantar became Tarzan. Bloomstoke became Greystoke at some point along the way.

The drabble for today is, “Tastes Like Chicken,” a light-heated one hundred words. The accompanying illustration isn’t from the novel “TARZAN OF THE APES,” but it goes well with todays drabble.

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

Jane said, “I’ve never seen the jungle this way. From the treetops it’s magnificent. The trees rising above the mist, the distant birdcalls, and the early morning sounds of the wildlife beginning their days makes it wonderful to be alive.”

Tarzan nodded and picked up a bark beetle, made sure Jane wasn’t watching, and ate it.

Jane pointed to a vulture circling in an updraft on motionless wings. The morning sun glinted from its wings and reflected a rainbow onto the mist below. “Isn’t he majestic? I just love vultures. You?”

Tarzan crunched another beetle and said, “I’ve tasted better.”

JUST PRAY, BABY

December 2: On this day in 1979, the Gil Kane illustrated and Archie Goodwin scripted Tarzan Sunday story arc, The Maneater, concluded after a run of twelve weekly installments. The story bears no resemblance to Edgar Rice Burroughs’ story, THE MANEATER, aka, BEN, KING OF BEASTS.

You can read the entire Sunday story arc and hundreds more at https://www.erbzine.com/comics. Here's the link for this one:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag34/3494.html

In the tale, a male lion has gone rogue and become a maneater. The locals ask Tarzan to stop the beast.

The drabble for today, “Just Pray, Baby,” was inspired by the story arc and quote from Edgar Rice Burroughs.

JUST PRAY, BABY

Tarzan said, “I know you’re here to poach ivory, but it’s too dangerous. There’s a rogue lion, a maneater, running free.”

The poacher laughed. “I don’t believe you. You just want me to leave.”

The native chief said, “Tarzan doesn’t lie. May your god help you if you stay.”

“Don’t believe Tarzan and don’t believe in any gods.”

Later, the poacher was attacked by the lion. Tarzan and the chief stood nearby, helpless.”

The chief said, “Tarzan, he called on a god he denied before the lion killed him.”

“Indeed. There are no atheists in front of a charging lion!”

I'LL TALK TO THE PRINTER

December 3: On this day in 1916, Edgar Rice Burroughs directed publisher A. C. McClurg to dedicate “The Son of Tarzan” to his son, Hulbert. When the first edition was published on March 10, 1917, there was no dedication. On March 12, 1917, Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote to McClurg, complaining that the dedication for "The Son of Tarzan" had been left off the newly published book.

Everything you could want to know about the novel, “The Son of Tarzan,” is available all in color and free to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0487.html

Joseph Bray, of McClurg, was just as businesslike, writing an answer to ERB's letter just five days later -- March 17 -- probably within a day after receiving it.

The drabble for today, “I’ll Talk to the Printer, is taken from the communication between the two men on this subject, slightly edited to fit the 100-word drabble format. For the record, the dedication did appear in future editions.

I'LL TALK TO THE PRINTER

ERB had written, "I was very much pleased with the appearance of the book. In only one thing was I disappointed and that was that you forgot the dedication. I wanted a book dedicated to each of my children and wrote you in December to dedicate this one to Hulbert Burroughs. Could the error please be rectified in future editions?"

Bray replied in his letter: "I have to apologize to you about that dedication. It seems that I clean forgot to make a note of it and give it to the proper persons. Sure, it shall appear in future editions."

MISFIRE

December 4: On this day in 1988, the Gray Morrow illustrated and Don Kraar scripted Sunday Tarzan comic arc, Home is the Hunter, began. The story ran for twelve weeks. The art, as always, is outstanding, and the script is excellent. A wealthy elderly Englishman gets to go on safari, something he’s always wanted to do. I expected the story to be about protecting jungle animals from hunters, but Mr. Kraar threw me a curve. The old man’s sons plan for him to be killed in Africa so they can inherit his money. Tarzan intercedes and saves him, but the Englishman believes that Tarzan is an actor hired to make his safari more enjoyable. As we all know, he wasn’t.

Read the entire story at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag35/3527.html

The drabble for today, “Misfire,” was inspired by the story arc and the Shakespeare quotation,” sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a thankless child" from “King Lear.”

MISFIRE

The Englishman’s rifle didn’t fire when a buffalo charged. Tarzan saved the man, who said, “Jolly good show. You played your part perfectly. I didn’t expect to see Allan Quatermain dressed in a loincloth.”

Tarzan checked the rifle. “This isn’t playacting and I’m not Allan Quatermain. The buffalo and I are real, but youR rifle was loaded with fake bullets.”

The Englishman said. “My two boys loaded it for me.”

Tarzan said, “Seems that they wanted you to be killed.”

“Ingrates. If I’d been shooting blanks forty years ago, they wouldn’t be around to try making me shoot them today.”

I'D RATHER BE A COWBOY

December 5: On this day in 1974, actor Bobby Nelson, who appeared as Bobby Trevor in the film serial, “Tarzan the Mighty,” and fifty-six other films including Oliver Twist, Perils of the Jungle, and a few dozen westerns, died in Los Angeles, California. Bobby Trevor was the younger brother of Mary Trevor, the female lead in “Tarzan the Mighty.” Jane was nowhere to be found and “Boy” was waiting for Johnny Weissmuller. Booby Nelson was six years old when filming began.

Details and pictures about Tarzan the Mighty, which starred Frank Merrill as Tarzan, may be pursued at your leisure: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0592.html

The 100-word drabble today is ‘I’d Rather Be a Cowboy,” was inspired by Bobby Nelson’s career.

I'D RATHER BE A COWBOY

Bobbly Nelson’s grandson said, “I love all these movie posters, grandpa. You made a lot of westerns.”

“Pretty much everything I did was a western.”

“What about that Tarzan film?”

“Western. Bad guy named Black John wants Mary’s virtue and Tarzan’s land and fortune. What could be more western than that?”

“Grandpa, Tarzan wears a leopard skin.”

‘Clothes don’t make a man a cowboy. Just cause he don’t have no white hat, six-shooter, nor boots don’t mean he’s not the local sheriff.”

“But grandpa, the story is in Africa, not in the Old West.”

“True, but it was West Africa.”

BIG MAN, BIG ROLE

December 6: On this day in 1932, actor Thomas Declan Mulholland was born in Belfast, Ireland. He played Olson in the 1974 film “The Land That Time Forgot. a character actor of film and television from Northern Ireland. He is known for his multiple appearances in Doctor Who and for his deleted portrayal of Jabba the Hutt in Star Wars. His scene as Jabba was deleted form the original Star Wars, but reinserted in the 20th anniversary edition with Mulholland replaced by a CGI Jabba. His 100 screen credits include “Time Bandits,” “Treasure Island,” and “The Charge of the Light Brigade,”

Details about the film. “The Land That Time Forgot,” accompanied by several photographs, are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag21/2117.html

The 100-word drabble for today, “Big Man, Big Role, was inspired by DeClan Mulholland’s career.

BIG MAN, BIG ROLE

Doug McClure, on the set of LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, said, “Don’t think I’ve ever met a man named Declan before.”

DeClan ate another buttered bagel. “I’ve known men named Doug, but I just don’t dig it. DeClan is a traditional Gaelic name. It means “full of goodness.”

McClurg snickered, “Well my friend. Your girth says that you’re full of something, but I don’t think it’s goodness. What’s next for you after this film wraps up?”

“STAR WARS. I play a character named Jabba the Hut.”

“Typecasting, I suspect. You’re big enough to play a hut, or even a castle.”

DON'T AMOUNT TO A HILL OF BEANS

December 7: On this day in 1941, the John Coleman Burroughs written and illustrated, “John Carter of Mars” Sunday comic episode #1, “Introduction,” was published. It didn’t get much attention. The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor happened that same day. Edgar Rice Burroughs and Hulbert Burroughs watched the attack.

You can read every episode of the John Carter comic at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag28/2840.html

The drabble for today, “Don’t Amount to a Hill of Beans,” was inspired by those two events that happened on December 7, 1941.

DON'T AMOUNT TO A HILL OF BEANS

Jane Ralston Burroughs carried two cups of coffee into her husband’s studio. “Jack, I’ve got the paper. The John Carter page looks great. I hope people like it.”

John Coleman Burroughs, who went by Jack, replied, “Sit down and listen to the radio. The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Not to sound self-centered, but most folks won’t turn to the funny pages for the next few weeks. I went outside. The air smells of war.”

“Your Dad and brother are in Honolulu. I suppose that they won’t read it either.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t a little busy today.”

MARTIAN VISION

December 8: On this day in 1987, author and Burroughs historian, John Flint Roy, died. John was the author of “A Guide To Barsoom.” I had the privilege of meeting John in the mid-1970s and he was kind enough to sign my copy. Charming Man. John Flint Roy was a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer for 34 years and as such lived with his wife in many places across Canada, before retiring.

The International Science Fiction Data Base has a list of his many essays, limericks, and articles at: https://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/ea.cgi?57131

A beautiful tribute to John is located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag14/1428.html It contains his poem, Who Hasn’t Dreamed, which should be mandatory reading for every Burroughs fan.

The drabble for today, “Martian Vision,” was written by John Flint Roy in his book, “A Guide to Barsoom.”

MARTIAN VISION

Over a period of thirty years, Burroughs wrote ten Martian tales... the story of life and death, romance and tragedy on the Red Planet is undoubtedly one of the greatest series of all time. Burroughs created a world of dead sea beds, towering mountains, polar ice caps, underground rivers... he peopled the planet with four different human races and one semi-human. He gave Mars a history, several phases of civilization and an assortment of religions. He added dauntless heroes, beautiful maidens, evil villains and fearful monsters -- all the ingredients necessary for a series of thrilling adventures on any world!"

THE ADMIRAL AND THE JUNGLE LORD

December 9: On this day in 1966, Episode #13, “Pearls of Tanga,” of the Ron Ely Tarzan television series, was broadcast. The cast included Thomas Fernandez, John Kelly, Jorge Matinez de Hoyos, Perla Walter, and Carlos Rvas as Admiral Gioco. Tarzan and Jai visit friends on an island and learn that the evil, warmongering, self-named Admiral Gioco, who owns a submarine and has a small army, is poisoning the water so that only his men can harvest the pearls he plans to sell to finance a a larger army or pirate crew. He often tells stories of his viciousness during WW2. Beautiful underwater scenes and photography. Lloyd Bridges would be proud.

Details about the episode, a review, and several photographs: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7423.html#13

The 100 -word drabble, The Admiral and the Jungle Lord,” for today was inspired by the episode and by Lewis Carrol. Sorry about that, Mr. Dodgson.

THE ADMIRAL AND THE JUNGLE LORD

The Admiral and the Jungle Lord

Were talking near the pier;

Tarzan wondered why it was

The natives don’t come near.

“I see oysters everywhere

Enough to feed them for a year.”

“The time has come,” the Admiral said,

“To talk of plans awhirl:

Of guns – and subs – and secrecy–

Of armaments – and pearls;

And why the sea isn’t safe

For native boys and girls.

I’ve put poison in the water,

If they swim, they’ll get a rash

I’ll harvest every single pearl

I really need the cash.

Mustn’t try to stop me

‘Til I’ve sold them, one and all.”

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A VILLAIN

December 10: On this day in 1903, actor George J. Lewis, who appeared in two Tarzan films, playing Ali Babe Hasan in “Tarzan’s Desert Mystery,” and a corporal in “Tarzan and the Leopard Woman,” was born on Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. Lewis appeared in many films and television shows and is best known as Don Diego de la Vega’s father in Walt Disney’s Zorro television episodes. He had an non=speaking role in “Casablanca,” but also appeared in “The Lone Ranger,” “Daniel Boone,” “Cheyenne,” “Captain Blood,” “The Adventures of Superman,” and even “Kid Galahad,” with Elvis. I can’t list them all, but the International Movie Data Base lists over 300 film credits for the man. He played the villain in several Republic Pictures’ films.

Plenty of information about ”Tarzan’s Desert Mystery,” and “Tarzan and the Leopard Women” are to be found at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0624.html and https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0626.html

The drabble for today, “I Should Have Been a Villain,” was inspired by George J. Lewis’s many films, in most of which he played a bad guy.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A VILLAIN

On the set of “Tarzan’s Desert Mystery,” George Lewis sat next to Johnny Weissmuller. “How many more Tarzan films are you gonna do, my friend?”

“Not many more, I think. America likes young and handsome heroes. I may play a character named Jungle Jim, sort of a Tarzan with clothes. You?”

“Busy. I play villains and every show needs a villain.”

“So, you’re always working.”

“I am. I get killed in Arizona on Friday and am reborn to threaten the heroine in Metropolis on Monday. The hero only gets killed once, but we villains just keep coming back for more.”

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

December 11: On this day in 1976, Episode # 14, “Tarzan and the Olympiads,” of the animated “Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle” television series, was broadcast. It was a Saturday, of course. In the episode, Tarzan competes in mythical games for his freedom in a lost city, but it also strongly links to real-life Olympic swimmers like Johnny Weissmuller, the first big-screen Tarzan, who was a five-time gold medalist, and other Olympians who played Tarzan, highlighting the athletic prowess of the character's real-world portrayers. The theme blends fictional jungle adventures with real-world athletic excellence, showing Tarzan's strength mirrored by his actor's Olympic feats.

As always, the cast included Robert Ridgely as Tarzan with Linda Gary and Joan Gerber providing additional voices. Ted Cassidy guest starred. A complete list and a short summary of every episode is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0014b.html .

The episode is available for purchase on YouTube and Prime Video.

The drabble for today, “V-I-C-T-O-R-Y,” was inspired by the episode and by the athletes who played the Jungle Lord on film and television.

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Tarzan found himself in a city inhabited by descendants of ancient Greece, a people who still celebrated the Olympic games and they asked the Jungle Lord to compete. He declined.

The games master said, “ It wasn’t an offer. Outsiders compete or die. Losers die.”

Tarzan said, “Upon further consideration, I’d love to.”

Tarzan won all the swimming events, three dashes, and the pole vault. He hummed to himself the entire time.

He wrestled their biggest man, won, and sang “We Are the Champions.”

The games master said, “You’ve won. Why are you singing.”

“Sometimes, you just need a song!”

PRIEST, PRINCESS, PHRAUD

December 12: On this day in 1936 the William Juhre illustrated and Don Garden scripted daily comic story arc, Tarzan and the Mayan Goddess, concluded after 150 daily episodes. Juhre took over illustration duties from Rex Maxon in June 1936 and drew the strip until January 1938 when Rex returned to the strip and would continue to illustrate it until September 1947. The story line was no doubt inspired by the film, Tarzan and the Green Goddess aka ‘The New Adventures of Tarzan,” which had been released earlier. It looks like Tarzan might be locked up in the last episode, but he’s not. The next day, “Tarzan’s Quest” began in the strip.

<>You can read the entire story arc at : https://www.erbzine.com/mag40/4018.html
The drabble for today, “Priest, Princess, Phraud,” was inspired by the comic daily comic strip story arc, “Tarzan and the Mayan Goddess.”

PRIEST, PRINCESS, PHRAUD

Tarzan befriended a princess in a Mayan metropolis. The locals called her a goddess.

She said, “ I need help. The head priest plans to march me to the top of the temple and cut out my heart.”

“Temple?”

“Yes, the very tall stone edifice with four sides and steep stairs.”

“A pyramid, but unlike the ones I’ve seen elsewhere.”

“Yes, the priests threaten human sacrifice to get whatever they want. Everyone is so afraid of being chosen to die, that no one can refuse their demands.”

“Tarzan said, “I understand. In my land, we’d call it a pyramid scheme.”

COME THE SPRINGTIME

December 13: On this day in 1934, an Associated Press News Release said that Edgar Rice Burroughs would marry Florence Dearholt as soon as her divorce from Ed’s business partner Aston Dearholt, was finalized.

The article and hundreds more newspaper articles about Edgar Rice Burroughs are available at https://www.erbzine.com This one is located at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag11/1195.html

<> The drabble for today, “Come The Springtime,” contains the complete article.

COME THE SPRINGTIME

ERB read the AP article
“Only a final decree of divorce today separated Edgar Rice Burroughs, the novelist, and Mrs. Florence Dearholt, jr. from matrimony. Burroughs and Mrs. Dearholt, who is awaiting her final decree from Ashton Dearholt. Jr., producer of Burroughs' motion pictures, announced last night they will be married next spring, probably immediately after the decree becomes final in March. Burroughs recently obtained a Las Vegas. Nevada, divorce decree, which was immediately final, from his wife of 34 years.”

“Florence, the paper says that we’ll marry come springtime.”

“Then we will, won’t we. Newspapers only print the truth.”

WELCOME BACK SHAKA

December 14: On this day in 1992, season two of the Wolf Larson / Lydie Denier TARZAN television series began with the broadcast of the twenty-second episode, “Tarzan’s Dangerous Journey,” IMBD gives the broadcast year as 1997, but the series was broadcast from 1991-1994, so we know IMBD is incorrect. One reviewer says that the episode somehow managed to get lost in the shuffle and was broadcast as a one shot in 1997. I didn’t keep a log. Was it episode # 22 or episode # 47? Well, that depends on whether you mean in order of filming or order pf broadcast. Nobody appears to know for sure.

In the episode, Tarzan guides Paul Shaka , played by Marc Gomes, who has abandoned civilization and hopes to return to his village, but witch doctor, Errol Slue, played by Jack Benton, intervenes. I have to say that Wolf’s Tarzan was at his scariest and most intimidating in this episode. He does a great Tarzan yell. Best line in the episode is by Tarzan. “It’s always good to make new friends.” Or it could be, “Cheetah belong to the jungle.”

An article about his episode is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag75/7546.html#47.

The 100-word rabble for today, “Welcome Back Shaka,” was inspired by the episode and maybe the theme song to an old TV show. I hope it passes the Horshack Test.

WELCOME BACK SHAKA

Welcome back

I guess new dreams were hard to find

Welcome back

To that some old jungle you left behind

Well, the beliefs haven’t changed

Since you went away

Witch doctors and dreams

Still rule the day

Big city crime, we heard ‘bout that

Reason enough to come back again.

Who’d think city life would lead you

Back to where you first began

To the forests and trees

A Clean world, undamaged by men

You’re not the same as before

To that we say, never mind

Old friends are good to keep

New friends are good to find.

Welcome Back

INSANITY IS NOT A DEFENSE

December:15: On this day in 1927, Edward Hickman kidnapped Marian Parker. Ed attended the trial and he wrote a daily column about Hickman’s trial for the Los Angeles Examiner. For a two-week period in 1928, Burroughs, on temporary assignment as a newspaper columnist covering one of Los Angeles' most sensational trials, harangued the public with a series of explosive statements and accusations. The trial of William Edward Hickman, charged with the kidnap-murder of little Marian Parker and the dismemberment of her body, captured national attention. Burroughs’ thirteen articles were syndicated and published from January 26,1928 through February 10.

Controversial areas he selected for particular vituperation included the question of Hickman's insanity and the alienists (psychiatrists) who proposed this theory, the court procedures and the laws, the trial atmosphere, and the heredity and the breeding of criminals. Burroughs ridiculed the assertions was insane.

Every article is available to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag17/1767.html

The 100-word drabble for today, “Insanity is Not a Defense,” was written by Edgar Rice Burroughs in his first article about the trial. Ed was shocked and angry by the kidnapping and dismemberment of Marian Parker and even angrier about the defense’s claims. His writing shows it. Slightly edited to be exactly 100 words.

INSANITY IS NOT A DEFENSE

The defense claims insanity, arguing that upon Hickman being adjudged insane, his abominable crime becomes understandable and excusable upon the grounds of irresponsibility.

He’s abnormal, but abnormality does not by any means imply insanity.
Hickman is a moral imbecile, and moral imbecility is not insanity.
The moral imbecile is as well able to differentiate between right and wrong as is any normal man -- the difference between the two lies in the fact that the moral imbecile does not care what the results may be to others so long as he may gratify his abnormal egotism or his perverted inclinations.