ERBzine 8064a: Drabbles August 16-31 2025

<>NO ABSOLUTES

August 16: On this day in 2014, an audio version of “The Oakdale Affair” was made available online from LIBRIVOX. Interesting in that the first media adaption of the novel was a silent film, with pictures and no words, and the Librivox adaption is words but no pictures.

The book is free, as are all audio books on Librivox. It runs a little over four hours. Here’s the link: https://librivox.org/the-oakdale-affair-by-edgar-rice.../

The drabble for today, “No Absolutes,” was inspired by the novel, “The Oakdale Affair.”

NO ABSOLUTES

Dirty Eddie, a hobo, eyed Abigail Primm, pretending to be the Oskaloosa Kid. “That's a girl. Let’s take her valuables.”

Bridge, another bindlestaff, stepped in front of Abigail. “I think not, boys.”

“Bridge, robbing her is for the greater good, us. It’s a lesser evil to rob her than it is for us all to starve.”

“No, boys. It isn’t. There’s no greater good and lesser evil. Only good and evil. We must embrace one and resist the other, no matter how large or small.”

Eddie grumbled, “I don’t understand?’

<>“Then I’ll teach you the difference with a hickory stick.”

WHO'S THE BOSS

August 17: On this day in 1915, Edgar Rice Burroughs completed the unpublished and unproduced film synopsis, “His Majesty, The Janitor.” Alas, it never made it past the synopsis point. It never became a ‘treatment’ or a script. We don’t really know about the story.

There were at least three silent films about janitors. Two of them were released before Ed wrote his treatment. Charlie Chaplin's "The New Janitor" (1914) is a notable example, where Chaplin plays a janitor who gets caught up in a bank robbery. Another film, "A Janitor's Wife's Temptation" (1915), explores a more melodramatic plot involving a janitor, his wife, and an artist. Additionally, a 1928 film, "The Working Side of the Museum," provides a glimpse into the lives of museum staff, including janitors, during that era.

The drabble for today, “Who’s the Boss,” was inspired by the title, “His Majesty, The Janitor.”

WHO'S THE BOSS

The building superintendent said, “Henry, you’re just the janitor, but you’ve been telling everyone that you’re the king of the building. If anyone’s the king around here, it’s me.”

“No, boss. The man who cleans up the rubbish is really the king, just like the colon is king of the body.”

“Naw, Henry. Either the heart or the brain are the king.”

“Think about how quickly that goes to pot if the colon quits working. It’s the same with the janitor. If no one takes out the trash, everything goes to the devil in a heartbeat. King of the World!”

NOT BEJEWELED

August 18: On this day in the year 1227, Genghis Khan, the subject of a 2,215 word unpublished poem written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, died in Xingqing, Western Xia, now a part of China. No one knows where he and his riches were buried.

The poem may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag58/5881.html

The poem is copyright by ERB Incorporated and may not be reproduced.

The 100 -word drabble for today, “Not Bejeweled,” was inspired by the poem and by the life of Temujin. Turkey was known an Antolia or Rum in the 13th century, but I couldn’t write about a country called Rum with a straight face.

NOT BEJEWELED

The Mongol warlord’s aide de camp, said, “Genghis, you are the leader. It’s fitting that you should wear gold and jewels as befits your station.”

“I was born in a tent. I live in a tent. I don’t need jewelry to show I’m the leader. Leave me. We invade the largest city in Anitolia at dawn.”

“You should dress like a ruler, not like a common soldier. Just a diamond. A single ruby. Perhaps this beautiful fire opal."

I said no. Diamonds and rubies are for hiding and hoarding, not for wearing, and as for Opals, Khan’t stand an opal.”

TIGHT SCHEDULE

August 19: On this day in 2000, Lee Sholem, who directed two Tarzan films, “Tarzan’s Magic Fountain,” and “Tarzan and the Slave Girl,” died. Lee Tabor Sholem was nicknamed ""Roll 'Em" Sholem" and he is identified more than anyone else in the industry with speed and efficiency. He directed more than 1300 productions, including both feature films and TV episodes, without ever going over schedule. His achievements over a 40-year career have, as yet, been unsurpassed in Hollywood history.

Sholem's first film was “Tarzan's Magic Fountain” in 1949 and his last film was “Doomsday Machine” in 1972.

Details about the two films are located at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0629.html

https://www.erbzine.com/mag19/1950.html

The drabble for today is “Tight Schedule,” and it is inspired by Mr. Sholem’s performance.

TIGHT SCHEDULE

On the set of “Tarzan’s Magic Fountain,” Lex Barker said, “Hey, Lee. I’m tired. Let’s call it a day. I need to rest.”

“You can rest when you’re dead. The script runs 240 pages and we’ve got 60 days. That’s four pages minimum per day. We’ve only shot three. Back on the vine, Tarzan.”

“We can make it up tomorrow.”

“Time lost can’t be made up.”

“What’s the big deal if we’re behind schedule?”

“Time is money. There are two kinds of directors, the ones who finish on time and in budget and the one’s who don’t have a job.”

WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE

August 20: On this day in 2000, the Gray Morrow illustrated and Mark Kneece scripted Sunday comic story arc, The Contest, began. The story ran for fifteen weeks and it can be read in its entirety at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag34/3487.html.

ERBzine doesn’t hide anything behind a paywall.

The story begins as a Romeo and Juliet type of tale, but quickly changes into a planned race to the only peach tree in the jungle. The winner’s family get to use the water hole the two family’s have been fighting over. Tarzan follows the race and makes sure that ‘Juliet’ wins. Love prevails, the families stop fighting, and they share the water hole.

The story arc is beautifully illustrated and the script shows Tarzan at his best, including a wry sense of humor.

The drabble for today, “Water, Water, Everywhere,” was inspired, by “The Contest,” a tale of conflict, love, and reconciliation. Where I live in New Mexico, water rights are very important. Conflicts over water have led to murders, shootouts, lawsuits, and treachery. The saying is “Whiskey is for drinking and water is for fighting.”

WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE
Oola and Tashigo, would be lovers from feuding families, were chosen for a race to decide which family would have the rights to a long disputed waterhole.

During the contest, Oola tripped Tashigo, and reached the pear tree first. She won.

Tashigo complained, “Not fair. You tripped me.”

“All’s fair in love and water rights.”

“So, my family goes thirsty?”

“Men are so stupid. We marry and there’s only one family. Duh!”

“That will work. I can’t believe your family fought so long over one waterhole."

“Same waterhole that your family fought about. Nothing makes water more important than not having enough.”

DANE-GOLD

August 21: On this day in 1944, the Rex Maxon written and illustrated Tarzan daily story arc, “The Ivory Hunter,” began. It ran for 44 days. This was not the first time Maxon, who drew the strip for over 18 years had a story line that focused on poachers and it wouldn’t be the last. Do the math Three hundred dailies a year, so about 5400 pages. https://www.erbzine.com/mag54/5455.html

The story opens with Tarzan recovering in the arms of Ann Strang, the daughter of one of the ivory hunters. She informs Tarzan that if he doesn’t hunt and kill elephants, he will be killed and she will be beaten. Tarzan makes other plans.

The 100-word drabble for today, “Dane-geld.” Thanks to Rudyard Kipling for his poetic explanation of the result of capitulation to threats eventually works.

DANE-GOLD

“Tarzan,” said Ann. “The ivory hunters will kill you if you don’t find and kill elephants for them. They’ll beat me for not convincing you.”

“Saying yes to open ended threats never satisfies the people making them. If I kill ten elephants, they’ll want twenty. If I kill one hundred, they’ll want two hundred.”

“You’ll die and I’ll be beaten.”

“It it’s within their power. Sooner or later, I’ll have to say no more. Then they’ll try to kill me.”

“You mean that doesn’t make any difference what you do.”

“Ann, it makes a world of difference to the elephants.”

SPINE TINGLING ADVENTURE

August 22: On this day in 1924, Edgar Rice Burroughs and his sons began a ten-day fishing expedition in the Sierra Mountains. the DOODAD was created on this trip. The Doodad is the symbol, the colophon, on the spine of books published by Edgar Rice Burroughs Incorporated and the name Burroughs gave his personal airplane.

Burroughs described the trip in the unpublished memoir, “Notes on Trip to Mono Creek and Porpoise Lake." Ed sketched the doodad out in the sand on a riverbank. This symbol was to become the famous colophon which appears on most of the ERB books. Each family member, however, had his own special variant of the doodad: Ed's circle was to the right of the "spear," Hulbert's circle was below, and Jack's was to the left.

Information about the DOODAD is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag3/0335.html

The drabble for today, “Spine Tingling Adventure, “ was inspired by the creation of the Doodad.

SPINE TINGLING ADVENURE

“Honey,” asked Emma Burroughs. “Did you and the boys catch any fish?”

“We didn’t catch enough to bring home. The most exciting thing is that the boys and I designed a symbol. We call it the doodad.”

Emma looked at the sketch. “Interesting, but what’s it for?”

“It will be the colophon on the spine of the books that will be published by my publishing company.”

“Dear, I know you’ve formed a corporation last year , but you don’t have a publishing company.”

“Not yet. The doodad is too good to waste, so I suppose I’ll have to start one.”

TALK TO THE TREES

August 23: On this day in 1941, Actress Shelia Wells, who played Kathy Haines in episode #2, The Ultimate Weapon, of the Ron Ely Tarzan television series, was born

During her short career, thirty total film credits, she appeared on episodes of “My Three Sons,” “Dr. Kildare,” “The Green Hornet,” “The Wild Wild West,” “Mary Tyler Moore,” “Bonanza,” “Hawaii Five-O,” and the classic film, “The Blues Brothers,”

In the Tarzan episode, Kathy's leaving her husband, Peter, but Tarzan intervenes, prompting game warden, Hoby Wallington, played by former Tarzan, Jock Mahoney, to say, ““Tarzan, you must be the only marriage counselor who lives in a tree.”

You can read a detailed analysis of the episode at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7421.html#2

The drabble for today, “Talk to the Trees,” was inspired by the episode. Several of the lines have been slightly modified from lines Shelia actually said on screen.

TALK TO THE TREES

Kathy, played by Shelia Wells, said, “Tarzan, you’ve blocked my riverboat. I’m leaving my husband. Get out of the way.”

“You should give him another chance. He’s been under a lot of stress.”

“You’re not married to that idiot. I don’t need another man giving me advice about things he knows nothing about.”

“I’m sure the two of you can talk it out.”

“Wonderful. A marriage counselor who lives in a tree with a monkey. You been smoking those vines?”

“Kathy, what kind of problems are you having?”

“Both kinds. One where I kill him and one where I don’t.”

BIG TIME

August 24: On this day in 1973, the Bob Lubbers illustrated and Dick Van Buren scripted Tarzan daily story arc, “Tarzan and the Octopus God,” began. The story ran for sixty-two daily episodes. It was followed by “Tarzan and the Insect Men.”

The tale features the evil Captain Cross, good natives, bad natives, Tarzan, and of course, a gigantic octopus, a creature which, god or no, helps Tarzan find justice for the deserving. Interestingly, Lubbers enjoyed drawing ‘good girl art” and was pleased when Dick Van Buren included an exotic woman in a story line, but there is not a single woman, exotic or otherwise, in a single panel of ‘Tarzan and the Octopus God’ unless of course, the octopus is female.

You can read the complete story at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag53/5339.html

The 100-word drabble for today, “Big Time,” is taken from Bob Lubbers comments about illustrating the Tarzan comic strip. He’d signed a three-year contract and illustrated the strip for a few months longer than that. His entire comments are available in a biography available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag48/4855.html

BIG TIME
The dream of a lifetime come true…the big time. . I dug in full bore, charged with inspiration. Seven-day weeks were not uncommon, but only nine to five. Dick Van Buren got the scripts to me on time and we were rolling. When he wrote exotic females into the scripts, it was fun to reprise some of the fun of those Fiction House cover girls. modified slightly. The stories could never be truly topical, but played in an amorphous, Burroughsian time period. Plenty of action, interplay with jungle animals, colorful backgrounds and as many exotic girls as Dick’s scripts allowed.

SADLY

August 25: On this day in 1945, the Rex Maxon scripted and illustrated daily comic story arc, THE SAD GORILLA, concluded. The story ran for fifty-six daily episodes and focused on a gorilla named Kunga, whose health was failing badly at the circus where he was an exhibit. The circus owners resolved to return him to Africa for his health. Once in the jungle, Kunga finds a potential mate, Kila. After many problems adapting to life in Africa, Kunga convinces Kila to return to America with him. The story ends with the two of them on a airplane bound for the USA. One unusual side note, Jane rarely appeared in the comics during this time period, but she’s present in this story, dressed in leopard skin and swinging through the trees.

The entire story may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag54/5478.html

The 100-word drabble for today, “Sadly,” was inspired by the title and by the behavior of people not blest with the curse of self-awareness.

SADLY
Jane said, “Tarzan, that ape seems really sad.”

‘He is. He’s going off to live by himself. He thinks the rest of the tribe has plotted against him.”

“That’s terrible. Why would they do that?”

“He screams at everyone. When he doesn’t get his way, he calls everyone terrible names. He bites.”

“How sad.”

“It is, but I learned years ago, when one tribal member doesn’t get along with you, it could be either one of you. When the whole tribe has a problem with you, it’s probably your winning ways and sparkling personality. Rarely is everyone wrong except you.”

HUCK'S DONATIONS

August 26: On this day in 2022, James Gardner "Huck" Huckenpöhler, aka Professor Porter, treasurer of the Burroughs Bibliophiles, founder of the Capitol Panthans, and respected ERB historian, passed away. Huck took the lead in compiling the Tarzan newspaper comics, dailies and Sundays, that I reference in these posts. He also translated some of the thirty plus unapproved Argentinian Tarzan novels from Spanish into English, he was a long-time contributor to the Edgar Rice Burroughs Amateur Press Association, the Burroughs Bulletin, checklists, pastiches, and articles for other publications devoted to the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs., His output was legion. Huck had a massive collection, which he donated to the Burroughs Bibliophiles. We are the poorer for his loss.

Read about this magnificent man at: https://www.erbzine.com/huck/

The drabble for today is excerpted from a message from Huck’s wife, Victoria. It originally appeared in The Panthan Newsletter # 303. Thinking of Huck and Victoria today.

HUCK'S DONATIONS
I heard him say many times: "The only way I'm ever leaving this place is feet first.” Huck certainly believed in a higher power, but was not enchanted with organized religion. Here's another fun story: as a youngster Huck was hauled each week to Sunday Mass by his Dad. Every sermon included a strong note of encouragement for a hefty donation to the collection plate. Finally, Huck decided that he would deduct a nickel from his intended donation each time the Priest mentioned money. He delighted in telling me that after a few months the Priest owed him 25 cents!

STALKING BIG GAME

August 27: On this day in 1950 the first Bob Lubbers Tarzan Sunday page appeared in newspapers. He joined Burne Hogarth on Tarzan and the Wild Game Hunter. Evil or at least misguided hunters, safari guides, treasure seekers and the like were frequent fodder for the newspaper strips. The story arc was reprinted in “NBM, Tarzan in Color Vol. 18.” If you want to read it, that’s where you need to look, at least for now. Tarzan Artist Bob Luibbers https://www.erbzine.com/mag48/4855.html

The 100 word drabble for today, “Stalking the Big Game,” was inspired by the story arc and a sense of the absurd. And apologies to Phillie and Eagle fans. They rock.

STALKING BIG GAME
Jane said, “Gentlemen, why are you in Africa?”

“We’re hunting big game. Not too much of that in Chicago.”

“You’ve no weapons, equipment, or bearers. What type of game are you hunting?”

“A World Series or an NFL championship. Something with Bears or Cubs.”

Jane laughed. “I don’t follow sports, but bears and sporting events aren’t a thing in Africa. On this continent ‘big game’ means stalking and hunting lions or other dangerous animals. Animals that can kill you.”

“That sounds terrifying. You can’t get killed attending a sporting event. Well unless you wear the wrong team colors in Philadelphia.””

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

August 28: On this day in 1915, actor Simon Oakland, who appeared as Thompson in Episode # 25, “Jungle Dragnet and as Judson Burnett in Episode #37, Maguma Curse, of the Ron Ely Tarzan television series, was born.

He began his performing career as a violinist. Oakland began his acting career in the late 1940s. He enjoyed a series of Broadway hits, including Light Up the Sky, The Shrike, and Inherit the Wind, and theater was one of his lasting passions. He was a concert violinist until the 1940s. He is probably best remembered as Tony Vincenzo, the long-suffering editor on “Kojak, The Night Stalker.”

A summary of this episode, and a link to all the episodes is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7430.html

In the episode, Oakland, who is the villain, falls into a fire pit and dies. Made me think of the brief poem by Edna St Vincent Milay about burning her candle at both ends. It doesn’t last very long, but it makes a lovely light.

The drabble for today, “You Light Up My Life, was inspired by Simon Oakland, actor and musician.

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE

Tarzan said, “Run, Jai. I’ll hold back the villagers until you can escape”

Jai shouted, “Tarzan, I can’t see the trail. It’s much too dark.”

Judson Burnet, the villain of the story, pushed Tarzan to one side. Out of my way, ape man.”

Judson stumbled and lost his balance. He staggered, tripped and fell into a blazing fire pit. His body burst into flames and the brighter fire illuminated the night.

Jai shouted, “I can see,” and he escaped to safety.”

Tarzan looked into the inferno. “I never thought Burnett was very smart, but he’s much brighter than I thought.”

WHICH A WAY

August 29: Happy 59th Wedding Anniversary to Bill and Sue-On Hillman. On this day in 1896, after two weeks in the hospital, Edgar Rice Burroughs and the rest of Troop B, rode from Fort Grant, Arizona in pursuit of the Apache Kid. They didn’t find him.

“Haskay-bay-nay-ntayl,” better known as the” Apache Kid,” was a member of what the U.S. government called the "SI band", the Kid developed important skills and became a famous and respected scout and later a notorious renegade active in the borderlands of the U.S. states of Arizona and New Mexico in the late 19th and possibly the early 20th centuries. He was arrested a few times and served time in prison, including Alcatraz, but was always released. The kid was reported dead around 1890, only to supposedly reappear and accused of another hideous crime. His death continued to be reported regularly as late as 1910.

The drabble for today, “Which A Way,” was inspired by the almost fruitless search for the Apache by the US Cavalry during that time period.

WHICH A WAY

Edgar Rice Burroughs joined Troop B and rode from Fort Grant in search of the notorious Apache Kid. Burroughs rode beside the Lieutenant and said, “I read that the Kid died six years ago. Why are we looking for a dead man?”

“Burroughs, his death hasn’t been confirmed. He might be dead, but he might not be. It’s our job to bring him in, dead or alive.”

“Finding a dead man in thousands of miles of desert seems unlikely.”

“True, but that makes this an easier and safer excursion.”

“Sir?”

“Dead men don’t run away and they don’t fight back.”

ON FRIDAY, ALL HOPE IS LOST

August 30: On this day in 1941, “Argosy Weekly” published the second installment of “The Quest of Tarzan.” This is not to be confused with “Tarzan’s Quest.” The Quest of Tarzan was retitled “Tarzan and the Castaways” and published along with two other stories in the book titled “Tarzan and the Castaways” by Canaveral Press in 1965. https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0730.html
The Canaveral hardcover featured a cover and six interior illustrations by Frank Frazetta. The story concerns Tarzan and the survivors of a shipwreck who are castaway on an island.

The Argosy Weekly cover was for “Cape Spectre” by Richard Sale, but “The Quest of Tarzan” did get a cover mention. The Argosy issue was not in color for a dime.

The 100-word drabble for today, “On Friday, All Hope Was Lost, was inspired by “The Quest of Tarzan” aka “Tarzan and the Castaways, Robinson Crusoe, Lost, Castaway, and Swiss Family Robinson.

ON FRIDAY, ALL HOPE WAS LOST
Tarzan said, Miss Graham, how are you doing? I was told that Wilson was in charge. Is he nearby.”

I’m having a ball. No Wilson around here. I’m afraid. I hear jungle drums.”

“Just the pounding surf.”

“Here comes someone. He running faster than Jack Robinson. Is he that Wilson person?”

“No. I think it’s Friday. These islands always have a Friday."

“Tarzan, it’s Tuesday.”

“His name is Friday.”

“He looks lost. He can’t help us.”

“Courage. Hope is a dangerous thing to lose.”

“Maybe Hope is with Wilson.”

“Just as well, hope and deer tracks make for thin soup.”

A WARM WELCOME

August 31: On this day in 1935, the Rex Maxon illustrated and Don Garden scripted Tarzan daily story arc, “Tarzan and the Fire Gods,” concluded, The story features female pilot, Lady Beth Barclay who is forced to parachute from her airplane. She landed safely in the company of the Niarchus tribe, who’d fled from Alexander the Great many years before. She is initially greeted as a goddess, but the tribe’s leader, also named Niarchus, plans to sacrifice her in a column of fire. (Thanks to H. Rider Haggard for She) Meanwhile the obligatory poacher enters the story, determined to pillage and kill his way across Africa. Dr. Jones, a noted geologist and friend of Tarzan, also arrived in the area. Mayhem ensued.

Read the entire story at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag37/3784.html

The 162 daily comic pages consisted of two panels each, with illustrations above prose. Some of the oft-maligned Maxon’s best work.

The 100-word drabble, “A Warm Welcome, for today was inspired by the comic arc and by fire gods everywhere.

A WARM WELCOME

Lady Beth, a downed aviator, and Tarzan fled the Niarchus tribe.
Beth said, “Those people are crazy. They worship fire gods that they’ve never seen.”

Tarzan said, “Keep running. In my experience, the best gods are unseen. That way the priests have more power.”

“A giant pillar of fire is in their temple. It never goes out. The priests make regular sacrifices by burning people in the fire.”

“So the priests control the population by threatening to cast them into a fiery hell.”

“They do.”

“What a novel idea. I’m shocked other religions haven’t adopted that premise. Oh, wait. They have.”