ERBzine 8063a: Drabbles July 16-30, 2025

EVERYBODY NEEDS A BODY

July 16: On this day in 1927, “Amazing Stories Annual Volume One” containing the complete novel, “The Mastermind of Mars,” was published. The iconic cover art by Frank R. Paul has been copied numerous times for several different editions of the novel. For publication history, numerous illustrations, a complete Ebook edition, and a PDF of Amazing Stories Annual Volume One, visit: https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0427.html

In addition to the cover, Paul drew ten black and white interior illustrations for the issue.

The working titles for “The Mastermind of Mars” were "A Weird Adventure on Mars” and "Vad Varo of Barsoom.” Burroughs frequently explored immortality in his novels and he revisited the theme once more in this novel. Herein, immortality, or at least a very long life, could be achieved by the transference of one’s brain into a younger body. Sounds like a good idea unless you happen to be the person living in the younger body.

The 100-word drabble for today, “Everybody Needs A Body," was inspired by the novel, “The Mastermind of Mars,” and by the brain transference process. We can’t do that today, but we can do hearts, kidneys, lungs, livers, and corneas. The time will come. Credit and thanks to Dean Martin, who recorded “Everybody Needs Somebody” and to Irving Taylor and Ken Lane, who wrote it.

EVERYBODY NEEDS A BODY
Everybody needs a body sometimes

Everybody just grows old somehow
Something in my heartbeat told me
My sometime is now.

If I had freedom of choice
I’d pick a girl’s body with lovely charms,
Then I know that I’d rejoice
Men would lose their minds held in my arms.

Today I want a body, lovely
Blonde, and young, and cute
Beguiling and ever so alluring
When I wear my birthday suit.

So sad for the owner, previous
But I need it much more than she
And yes, my methods are devious
If only one can be happy, I pick me.

CLASSICAL IMAGES OF EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS

July 17: On this day in 1936, author Erling B. Holtsmark, Tarzan and Tradition, and Edgar Rice Burroughs, Twayne’s US Author Series, was born.

Jack received a B.A. in Greek from the University of California at Berkeley in 1959 and a Ph.D. in Classics from there in 1963. He came to teach in Classics at the University of Iowa in Fall 1963. He was department chair from 1982 through to 1993. Jack published numerous articles over the years on various topics including on Homer, Aeschylus, Theocritus, Lucretius, and Quintilian. Later in his career he became interested in contemporary literature and the Classics, publishing Tarzan and Tradition: Classical Myth in Popular Literature in 1981, Edgar Rice Burroughs in 1986, and articles on classics and contemporary cinema and on detective fiction. He was the guest of honor at the 1991 Dum-Dum.

The drabble for today is an excerpt, edited for length, from the article, “Classical Images of Edgar Rice Burroughs,” by Alan Hanson. The entire article is located at https://www.erbzine.com/mag66/6617.html

CLASSICAL IMAGES OF EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS
“Tarzan and John Carter are the literary blood brothers of Odysseus, and Edgar Rice Burroughs is the incarnation of Homer. That’s what Erling B. Holtsmark would have us believe in his books, “Tarzan and Tradition” and “Edgar Rice Burroughs.” Professor Holtsmark contends Burroughs patterned, plotted, and packaged his stories in the format of classical mythology. To the average Burroughs fan, the good professor’s arguments range from convincing to far-fetched to unfathomable.

“Holtsmark’s discussion may be beyond the comprehension (not to mention the interest) of the blue-collar Burroughs reader, but even those must realize Burroughs had extensive knowledge of Greek mythology.”

I HEARD IT IN A BOOK

July 18: 2025 was a slow day in the historical world of Edgar Rice Burroughs. I’ve posted about most of the events that happened on this day, so the new post is relatively obscure. On this day ninety-one years ago in 1934, Episode # 29, “Another Try For the Diamond,” of the radio serial, “Tarzan and the Diamond of Asher,” was broadcast. The episode lasts 13 minutes and nine seconds and like all 39 episodes may be heard for free at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag31/3140.html

Carlton KaDell voiced Tarzan, Karena Shields voiced Helen, Jeanette Nolan was Magra, and Ralph Scott was D’Arnot.

<> A lot can happen in 13 minutes, here’s an episode summary, courtesy ERBzine: Helen, believing her brother dead, breaks up and lashes out at her captors before fainting. The king explains that the reason for their capture and for Brian’s punishment is that he believes they have come to steal the Father of Diamonds. Gregory had gone alone to the diamond room and had shot a guardian ape. He then had removed the diamond and was apprehended while trying to escape with the sacred gem. As punishment he had been forced to look into the glare of the diamond until he fell into his present comatose state of suspended animation. When Magra warns him to beware of Tarzan’s wrath, the king warns them that no help will come from their imprisoned friends since they have been sentenced to a fate worse than death. With a sinister laugh he informs Helen that plans are being made for her royal wedding – she will become his queen. Helen threatens to kill herself rather than to go through with such a ceremony.
The drabble for today, "I Heard It In A Book,: from comments that ERB made about radio in 1934. Fourteen words have been added to bring the word count to exactly 100 words.

I HEARD IT IN A BOOK

"You ask me how book sales are holding up during hard times like these. There is one factor that may have more effect on reducing book sales than any number of depressions, and that is radio, to which we are looking for far greater returns than our book royalties ever brought us. Already, with two programs, we are netting more than we do from the sale of all our books, which, taken in connection with the fact that there are hundreds of similar programs on the air, suggests that people are taking their fiction this way instead of through books."

ORIGINAL THOUGHT

July 19: On this day in 1942, The John Coleman Burroughs written and illustrated, “John Carter of Mars” Sunday comic installment #33, Bold Attempt, was published. The comic is wonderfully illustrated, but it never really had a chance, the first installment appeared the weekend of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

The episode included, Green Martians, thoats, John Carter, Dejah Thoris, Woola, and surprise, evil robots. Isaac Asimov used the word "robot" for the first time in "Runaround" published in March 1942. While the word "robot" itself was coined by Karel Čapek in his 1920 play "R.U.R. That’s a pretty quick turnaround to see the word, robot, in the funny pages, unless JCB was familiar with Czech plays.

The drabble for today is, “Original Thought,”, and it was inspired by the appearance of robots in installment #33 of the Sunday comic, “John Carter of Mars.”

ORIGINAL THOUGHT

After the battle, Dejah Thoris and John Carter rode across the dead sea bottom. He said, “Those robots weren’t so tough. They couldn’t fight well Their moves were predictable. Real men are better”|

Dejah replied. “Not so fast. Robots don’t snore, they don’t throw their clothes on the floor, and they don’t leave the toilet seat up. They have advantages.”

“Huh!” exclaimed Carter. “Unlike real men, they can’t think for themselves.”

“Are you agreeing with me or arguing with me. Most men don’t have a clue what to think until a woman tells him.”

“What?”

“Say, yes, Dear."

‘Yes, Dear.”

FISHING HOLE

July 20: On this day in 1940, Edgar Rice Burroughs finished writing “Captured on Venus,” the first installment of “Escape on Venus.” That makes perfect sense – you can’t escape if you haven't been captured. The installment was published as “Slaves of the Fish Men” in Fantastic Adventures in March 1941. The magazine cover was by J. Allen St. John, who also did two full page interior illustrations.

The publishing details, several pictures, and an Ebook of the novel: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0751.html

The one hundred word drabble for today, "Fishing Hole," was inspired by the beautiful Duare being captured by the Fish Men, and Carson, who was captured soon after.

FISHING HOLE

The two Amtorians watched in horror as Duare disappeared into the sea and Carson did the same. “What just happened?”

“The Fish Men captured Duare, the most beautiful woman on the planet,” said the first.

“That’s hardly fair,” said the second. “I’ve wanted a woman like that my whole life.”

“Wanting and getting aren’t the same thing.”

“Still, it’s just not right. I’ve used my charm, my good looks, and my best opening line to no avail.”

“Opening line?”

“Sure, Hello, I couldn’t help noticing that you look like my next girlfriend?’

“Mate, that’s not a lure, that’s bad bait.”

KREEGAH!

July 21: 2025 and the 2600th post in the Every Day With Edgar Rice Burroughs series. On this day in 2003, Fortune Magazine published an article on finance that included references to Tarzan, orangutans, and the Tarzan yell. The lead article in the issue was “The 10 Greatest CEO’s of All Time,” but I don’t know which article contains the reference and I haven’t read it. I know that the table on contents page includes a bunch of bananas. Not having read the article, I’m free to make up whatever I want.

The drabble for today is, “Kreegah!,” inspired my vision of how Tarzan and Orangutan references would apply in a story about management style.

KREEGAH!

Fortune’s editor said, “I like your piece on the top ten CEO’s ever, but I don’t quite get the Tarzan and monkey references.”

“First, an orangutan is not a monkey, it’s an ape. In the real world, management follows jungle rules. Tarzan was the hands-on CEO of his jungle. His style was ruthless protection of his assets, undying loyalty to his employees, and courage to seek funding from dangerous sources.”

“And the monkey? Sorry, the ape?”

“Orangutans choose Laissez-faire leadership, with more group participation. Live and let live sort of thing."

“And which is best.”

“Sadly, orangutans are almost extinct.”

HIDDEN BY WORDS

July 22: On this day in 1990, the Gray Morrow illustrated and Don Kraar scripted Sunday Tarzan comic arc, “The Last of the Tribe of Kerchak,” concluded. The story ran for twelve weeks, having begun on May 6, 1990. The entire story arc and hundreds more may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag35/3533.html

The story arc follows Tarzan and Korak as they seek to free a group of ‘great apes’ who have been captured by a scientific expedition for use as test subjects by a pharmaceutical and cosmetics company.

The drabble for today, Hidden By Words,” was inspired by the story arc and by the real-life use of animals as unwilling test subjects. The drabble is fictional, just like the story arc, “The Last of the Tribe of Kerchak,” but alas, the use of animals as test subjects is far too real.

HIDDEN BY WORDS

Tarzan freed the great apes and confronted the expedition’s leader, Dr. MacKinley, ”By what right have you taken these people?”

“By the right of science. We’ll use them to test cosmetics and drugs, It the new products don’t hurt the apes, they won’t hurt humans. They’re almost human, you know.”

“They are people and they have names. This must stop.”

“Not at all. By capturing them and using them as test subjects, we can beautify humanity, improve medical practices, advance technology, and make the world a better place.”

“MacKinley, I’ve never heard greed and slavery justified with such pretty words.”

STALKING YOU

July 23: On this day in 2002, the Disney produced “Tarzan and Jane” direct to video film was released. Here we are, barely two decades later and technology has virtually eliminated direct to video as an outlet. Today’s equivalent is “direct to a streaming platform."

“Tarzan and Jane”, is a compilation of three episodes from "The Legend of Tarzan" television series.

The story focuses on Jane (voiced by Olivia d'Abo) trying to decide what to do for Tarzan (voiced by Michael T. Weiss) for their one-year wedding anniversary. As Jane considers various ideas, she reflects on past adventures, including a visit from three girlfriends, helping two men find diamonds, and being kidnapped by an ex-boyfriend.

The drabble for today is “Stalking You,” inspired by Jane’s crazy ex-boyfriend and Gordon Sumner, also known as Sting.

STALKING YOU
Every trail you take

And every turn you make
Every branch you break, every step you take
Though the jungle
Don’t dare stumble
You can’t get away, not night or day
I’ll be stalking you.

Jane, you married an ape
But you can’t escape
Because I’m your fate
You can run early and you can run late
Living with the lions
Swinging on the vines
I’m telling you straight
You will be my mate
I’ll be stalking you.

Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me
In rivers deep
And jungles where
Who knows what creeps
I’ll be stalking you.

OBLIGATION

July 24: On this day in 1944, the Rex Maxon scripted and illustrated Tarzan daily newspaper comic story arc, “The Ape in Danger,” began in the finer newspapers across the United States. The story arc ran for twenty-four daily episodes, ending on August 19, 1944. The story arc is unique in that the only human to appear is Tarzan, along with a an ape mother and her child. Near the end of the story, an hunter and his bearers appear and they capture Tarzan – beginning the next story arc, “The Ivory Hunter.” Where one arc ends and the next began is a manner of conjecture.

The entire newspaper story may be read in its entirety at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag54/5453.html

The 100 word drabble for today, “Obligation,” was inspired by the story arc, “The Ape in Danger,” and by good people everywhere.

OBLIGATION

Strang, an evil ivory poacher, said, “Tarzan, you were so easy to capture, You were preoccupied.”

“I was saving an ape and her child.”

“You put yourself at risk to help a couple of stupid animals. A real man would never do such a silly thing.”

‘You’re wrong. I could help, and when a man has the ability to help others, he also has the obligation.”

“Agreed. I want ivory. Help me hunt and kill elephants.”

“Never. You saw me kill crocodiles, lions, and whatever else threatened the ape-child. You should be afraid of what I’ll do to protect elephants.”

NOT ANOTHER DARNED DINOSAUR

July 25: On this day 1934, in Episode # 32, “Together Again,” of the radio serial, “Tarzan and the Diamond of Asher,” to an eagerly awaiting audience.

You can hear the episode, actually all the episodes at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag31/3140.html

There has been much discussion about the radio series, “Tarzan and the Diamond of Asher,” and its novelization, “Tarzan and the Forbidden City.” Which came first? Not taking sides here and not looking for an online debate about it. Read the novel and listen to the radio show. No reason to get bogged down. Enjoy them both.

The 100 word drabble for today, “Not Another Darned Dinosaur,” is excerpted and edited from the amazing Bill Hillman’s summary of the episode, located at the site above.

NOT ANOTHER DARNED DINOSAUR

“Tarzan leads his party through the jungle to where the vegetation ceases. Tarzan discovers a road over the desolate terrain worn smooth by the tread of millions of feet. The road plunges into a deep rocky gorge and Tarzan and Thome ascend a narrow path to a smooth ledge above the road where they discover a cave and some of Helen Gregory’s clothing. As they are about to enter the cavern to look for the missing girl, a great scaly four-legged creature of prehistoric origin rushes out to meet them. Snorting and roaring its challenge, it advances straight toward Tarzan.”

ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT

July 26: On this day in 1992, the Gray Morrow / Don Kraar Sunday Tarzan story arc, Bayou Fever, began. The story ran for fourteen weeks. Being an Oklahoman by birth and a Coonass by choice, I do love a good Bayou story, me.

The entire story is available to read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag35/3542.html

As you would expect by the title, the story takes place in Louisiana, and features a panther, environmentalists, despoilers of the environment, alligators, and bees. Oh, yeah, and Tarzan be there too.

The 100-word drabble for today is “Environmental Impact” and it was inspired by the comic story arc and the ‘Bayou Song,” by Tina Turner. Her lyrics were better than mine.

ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT
Just another Louisiana morning

Cold bayou rain filling up the sky,

Derricks pumping

Roughnecks jumping

Can’t see ‘em the rain

I can smell them just the same.

Need to stop sittin’ and thinking about it.
I been worrying in the long cold night
Too tired to sleep, but it’s time to fight.
Get some help from that Tarzan man

Bring my juju and my voodoo
Gonna work me some hoodoo
Gotta stop the drilling
Even if there be some killing
We may be dead by the end of the night
But it’s what gotta do to take back our life.

ART IS LIFE

July 27 :On this in 1894, actor Manuel Paris was born in Valencia, Spain. He appeared in the film, Tarzan Triumphs, a movie title that gives away the ending, but then Tarzan does always triumph on screen, doesn’t he.

Details about the film, “Tarzan Triumphs,” are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0623.html

Manuel Paris, who had over 163 film credits had a small role, he played a Pallandria man. Much of his work was uncredited. He also appeared in “The Leopard Man,” “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” :The Razor’s Edge,” ‘Joan of Arc,” “The Great Dictator,” “Casablanca,” and “When World’s Collide,” His first film was “El Sello de Oro” in 1914 and his last was “The Miracle” in 1959. His full list of screen credits includes several of my favorite films.

The 100-word drabble for today, “Art is Life,” was inspired by Manuel Paris’s long career.

ART IS LIFE

On the set of “The Miracle,” Manuel Paris spoke with Roger Moore. “This’ll be my last picture show. Forty-five years. It’s time for me is enough.”

“Happy retirement. Are you sure.”

“I watched Tarzan Triumph, heard the bell toll, and smelled the fire when they burned Joan of Arc. I hid from the Nazis in Casablanca, sailed with Jean Lafitte, helped Phileas Fogg, danced with Deborah Kerr in Zenda, ran with the Bulls, and survived When World’s Collide. That’s a pretty full life.”

“Manuel, those are roles you played, not real life.”

“Roger, you’re young. There’s no life off camera”

INSPECTOR GENERALLY

July 28: On this day in 2013, actor Jagdish Raj, “Tarzan Goes to India,” died in Mumbai, Jagdish Raj Khurana (was a Bollywood actor who holds a Guinness World Record for being the most type-cast actor. He played the role of a police inspector in 144 films. Everything that you want to know and more about the film, “Tarzan Goes to India,” is available for your perusal at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag19/1960.html

In this film, Jagdish plays Raaj, who may, or may not be a police inspector. Watch the film to find out.

The drabble for today, “Inspector Generally,” was inspired by the career of Jagdish Raj, who spent more time portraying a police inspector on screen that most real inspectors do in real life.

INSPECTOR GENERALLY

Jagdish Raj arrived on set at wardrobe for “Tarzan Goes to India. “Hello, I’m Jagdish. I need my police inspector costume.”

“Mr. Raj, ah yes, I see you here. Let me check. I don’t have a police uniform for you.”

‘No worries. I have a spare with me. This has happened before.”

“Sir, are you sure that you’ve been cast as a police inspector?”

“I’m always a police inspector. I’ll get my uniform and put it on."

“That isn’t necessary. Uniform or no, the canteen will feed you all the donuts you can eat.”

“That’s not funny. Where’s the canteen?"

SOUNDS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

July 29: On this day in 1935, voice actress, Joan Gerber, was born in Detroit, Michigan. Her hundreds of voice roles on hundreds of cartoons, include her role as Queen Nemone on the animated Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle television series. Some websites say that she was born in Jacksonville, Florida.

Pretty much everything there is to know about the animated “Tarzan Lord of the Jungle” television show is available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0014b.html

Joan said that her most challenging voice role was "all the children in a Japanese train wreck" for a Godzilla television episode.\She voiced Freddy the Flute and other characters for H.R. Pufnstuf, and identified Freddy as a favorite role. She also voiced Ozma, the Queen of Oz, in the TV special Thanksgiving in the Land of Oz. She was described as talented and possessing a "golden throat" and a "splendid singing voice". She also voiced a syndicated series of roughly one-minute radio spots, "The Story Lady," that parodied children's programming.

The 100-word drabble for today, “Sounds Like Teen Spirit,” was inspired by Joan Gerber’s career.

SOUNDS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

Joan’s boyfriend, Regis, said, “I heard that you recorded voices for four different cartoon shows this morning.”

“Sounds like me. How did you hear that?”

“The studio called and said you forgot your headphones.”

“Doesn’t sound like me.”

“Let’s go pick them up. I’ve drive. We’ll can have sushi for lunch.”

“Sounds like something I’d like.”

“Does sake sound good?”

“Sake doesn’t sound like anything. It just sits in the glass.”

“Joan, it sounds like you’re being a bit of a smartass.”

“Good to know that I’ve still got it. I like to think I can sound however I want”