ERBzine 8061a: Drabbles May 16-30 2025

MIRROR, MIRROR

May 16: On this day in 1931, Mexican film actress Maria Magdalena Guzman Garza, better known as Magda Guzman, was born in Saltillo, Coahuila, Mexico. The International Movie Data Base gives her birth year as 1828, but Wikipedia and other biographical sites say she was born in 1931. I believe that 1931 is correct. Even more confusing is her place of birth. IMBD says she was born in – Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico, but I believe the Wikipedia birth location is correct, Saltillo, Coahuila, Mexico.

Her second film role was in “Tarzan y las Sirenas,” better known as “Tarzan and the Mermaids.” Her career spanned seventy years and almost one hundred separate credits. On television she was a telenovela star and appeared in over eighty episodes of “Valiant Love,” “One hundred and sixty episodes of “ In the Name of Love,” “185 episodes of “Storm over Paradise,” “202 episodes of “Muchacha de Barrio,’ “Extranos Caminos Del Amor,: and 140 episodes of “Para Volve A Amar.”

Details, photographs, and much more concerning “Tarzan and the Mermaids,” may be perused at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag6/0628.html

The fictional 100 word drabble for today is, “Mirror, Mirror,” and it was inspired by the 68-minute-long film, “Tarzan and the Mermaids,” starring Johnny Weissmuller and Brenda Joyce.

MIRROR, MIRROR
Director Robert Florey of Tarzan and the Mermaids shouted “Cut!” He called Weissmuller aside. “Johnny, what’s going on? You aren’t taking your role seriously.”

“I just can’t. This is the first Tarzan film I’ve made with mythical creatures in the title. Mermaids are creatures of legend. That bothers me.”

“But you were okay with giant spiders and talking apes.”

“Apes and spiders are real. Mermaids aren’t. I think that appearing with fictional creatures not only damages Tarzan’s credibility, but mine as well.”

‘Really!” No fictional creatures? How about you go look in a mirror, apeman, and tell me that again.”

EVIL IS AS EVIL DOES

May 17: On this day in 1994, episode #19 of season three titled “Tarzan and the Evil Twin,” of the Wolf Larson Tarzan television series, first aired. The International Movie Data base gives the year as 1998, but I believe that 1994 is correct. The series was broadcast from 1991 through 1994.

The photo collage with this post is courtesy of www.erbzine.com, which contains a detailed summary of every episode at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag74/7453.html

From the title, I expected the evil twin to be a Tarzan or Jane lookalike. I was thinking Estaban Miranda, but no, the evil twin is a twin of Dan Miller, a minor character played by William S. Taylor.

The episode starred Wolf Larson as Tarzan, Lydie Denier as Jane, and Sean Roberge as Roger. In the episode, Dan’s twin brother held Roger hostage and demanded a $100,000 ransom.

Possibly the best line in the episode is from Tarzan, “ “man looks like Dan but does not smell like Dan.” At one point in the story, a parrot, I think it’s a parrot, tells Tarzan where the evil twin has gone. The problem with identical twins is that you’re never really sure which one is which.

The 100-word drabble for today, "Evil Is As Evil Does," was inspired by the episode. Spoiler alert – the drabble does not reflect the actual conclusion of the episode.”

EVIL IS AS EVIL DOES
Jane said, “Tarzan, I’m so glad you saved Roger from Dan’s evil twin. How did you find them?”

“A parrot told me.”

“Did you have to talk like a pirate?”

“Don’t be silly, Jane, I talked like a parrot.”

“What happened?”

“He never admitted who he was. He just kept whining and whining. I finally fed him to the lions.”

“Well, Tarzan,” said Jane. I hope you killed the evil twin.”

“So do I.”

They looked at the surviving twin, who winked. “I hope so, too. I don’t think that I’m the evil twin, but we can’t be entirely sure.”

THE VALIANT DIE BUT ONCE
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May 18: On this day in 2000, Bruce Wood’s extremely limited edition of “The Moon Maid” was distributed at the 2000 Edgar Rice Burroughs Chain of Friendship gathering. The edition of 50 copies contained an introduction by Bob Zeuschner, text comparison with previous editions by J. G. Huckenpoher, a glossary by Duane Adams and George McWhorter, ending commentary by Scott Tracy Griffin, printing, sewing and binding by Bruce Wood, formatting by David Bruce Bozarth, Dust wrapper design by Phil Norman, and generally coordination by Jim Thompson. Dave Hoover did the dust jacket art, Tomas Yeates illustrated a frontispiece for one section, and Jeff Doten contributed two interior illustrations. That tell us where nine of the fifty copies ended up.

I’m fortunate to have one copy. It appears for sale on EBay and other sites occasionally, sometimes reasonably priced and sometimes priced over the moon. The book is beautiful. It’s the first hardcover edition to contain the entire story as originally published in All-Story Weekly.

Details about this edition and other editions of The Moon Maid are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0767.html

“The Moon Maid,” is a tale of occupation, oppression, and resistance.
The 100-word drabble for today, "The Valiant Die But Once," is excerpted from the closing paragraph of the “Text Comparison" section by J. G. ‘Huck’ Huckepohler. Words that apply all too often. For the information of those who haven’t read the novel, Jarth, Or-tis and Soor, are the leaders of the forces that have enslaved America.

THE VALIANT DIE BUT ONCE

“And Finally, on a personal note, It seems pretty clear that Burroughs intended this story as a warning to his readers. I was in the middle of this project at the time of Janet Reno’s predawn raid of the Gonzales home, and the similarity between the activities of the Immigration and Naturalization Service and the methods of Or-Tis was chilling.

Oppressors need not come from the moon; they can be home-grown. All that is necessary is for a sufficient proportion of the population to acquiesce in their own enslavement. There are plenty of would-be Jarths, Or-tises, and Soors among us.”

BY ALL THE GODS

May 19: And the over four hundredth anniversary of Anne Boleyn’s beheading at the tower of London. One of my friends, the late Anne Brown, and I celebrated this event annually. On this day in 1936, Author and scholar Erling B. Holtsmark, Tarzan and Tradition Classical Myth in Popular Literature and Edgar Rice Burroughs, Twayne’s US Author Series, was born.

Jack received a B.A. in Greek from the University of California at Berkeley in 1959 and a Ph.D. in Classics from there in 1963. He taught Classics at the University of Iowa beginning in 1963. He was the department chair from 1982 through to 1993. Jack published numerous articles over the years on various topics including on Homer, Aeschylus, Theocritus, Lucretius, and Quintilian. Later in his career he became interested in contemporary literature and the Classics publishing his two books on the writer Edgar Rice Burroughs and several articles on classics and contemporary cinema and on detective fiction.

As chair in Classics, Jack worked diligently to increase the number of English-language courses at the University of Iowa, including building up the course on Classical Mythology and Word Power.

The 100-word drabble for today, “By All the Gods,” is excerpted from the final paragraph of the article “Classical Images of Edgar Rice Burroughs,” written by well-respected Burroughs historian and researcher, Alan Hanson. Thanks Alan. Hope this finds you well.

The complete article may be read at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag66/6617.html

BY ALL THE GODS

“The classical images in this essay are projections of a much deeper and detailed mythological vein that runs through the works of ERB. The formal education of his adolescence, as painful as he professed it to be, laid down in his psyche a firm appreciation for the classics. Years later in his writing that appreciation came out whether he willed it or not. The extent Burroughs is indebted to classical literature is debatable, but surely had its influence been missing from ERB’s fiction entirely, much of the beauty and majesty that gave this author staying power would have been lacking.”

THE FATHER OF SPACE ADVENTURE

May 20: On this day in 2014, Edgar Rice Burroughs Incorporated announced agreement with “Dynamite Comics” to relaunch “John Carter: Warlord of Mars,” comic.

Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc .and Dynamite Entertainment, announced today a comprehensive agreement that will see the return of Burroughs' original "John Carter: Warlord of Mars" to the pages of comic books, comic strips and graphic novels. The agreement allowed for the world-wide publication of the John Carter universe as well as "Lord of the Jungle" and ERB's library of archival material.

The initiative came on the heels of the reacquisition of comic book rights by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc. that had been held by Walt Disney Pictures and its Marvel Entertainment subsidiary, as well as a recent legal settlement with Dynamite that cleared the way for Dynamite to introduce key characters and plot elements from the John Carter back story that were, until now, absent from recent comic book interpretations.

The 100-word drabble for today, “The Father of Space Adventure” is an excerpt from that article. The entire article may be read at: https://www.prweb.com/.../edgar_rice.../prweb11866552.htm

THE FATHER OF SPACE ADVENTURE
"It was important to reacquire comic book and comic strip rights from Marvel Entertainment so we could reintroduce them in the market place. We're excited to see the exploits of ERB’s first science fiction adventure hero brought to life in their fullness by the passionate creative talents assembled by the folks at Dynamite," said James Sullos, President of ERB Inc. "They're true fans - and it shows on every page and in every idea they've shared with us. Now fans everywhere will be able to appreciate the original adventure stories that later spawned Flash Gordon, Superman, Star Wars and Avatar."

If you start at: https://www.dynamite.com/htmlfiles/viewProduct.html?PRO=C72513031883105011=1

You can order several of the issues directly from the publisher.

A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE

May 21: On this day in 1935, the film / serial “The New Adventures of Tarzan,” produced by Burroughs-Tarzan Enterprises, was released. According to Wikipedia, movie houses had the choice of booking the serial in 12 episodes, the feature film (also called The New Adventures of Tarzan), or the feature film followed by 11 episodes of the serial.

Tarzan films were major money earners in the world market in the thirties, with as much as 75 per cent of the total gross from foreign box office. In fact, in many African and Asian countries their premiers were black-tie affairs. In 1934, to cash in on this popularity and the considerable profits to be made in production and distribution, Burroughs teamed with George W. Stout, Ben S. Cohen and Lee Ashton Dearholt to form a film company to promote ERB's works.

The film starred Herman Brix as Tarzan. After WW2, Brix would continue acting under the name Bruce Bennett. The female lead used the name Ula Holt, who was born as Florence Eugene Watson and also used the stage name Ula Vale. She changed her name once more after marrying the director, Aston Dearholt. The film itself also had another title, “Tarzan and the Green Goddess.”

Several photos, details, and a complete copy of the film are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag5/0584.html

The 100-word fictional drabble for today is, “A Rose is a Rose is a Rose.” I enjoyed the film, but I didn’t care for Holt’s acting.

A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE

Herman Brix and Ula Holt visited after completing the filming of “The New Adventures of Tarzan.’ Brix said, “Dearholt told me that if this film isn’t successful, he re-release it with a new title.”

“Will we be paid twice?”

‘ No chance of that, Ula. I’m going to change my stage name. I don’t want to be typecast. New name, new career.”

“ I’ll change my name as well.”

“Ula, don’t bother.”

“Why not.”

“It’s true that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, but calling a sow a queen won’t stop her from stinking up the house.”

GRADUATION ADDRESS

May 22: On this day in 1925, Edgar Rice Burroughs presented his daughter, Joan, with the handwritten draft of the graduation address he made to the graduating 1894 class at the Michigan Military Academy. He was president of the 1895 class.

The 100 word drabble for today is an excerpt from that speech. The entire speech may be read at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0031.html. Enjoy.

GRADUATION ADDRESS
I thank the Senior Class for the honorable and impartial way they have treated us both as officers and Men... and in bidding them a last farewell. May their future lives contain as many bright hours and as few real trials as this Cadet Day have in the past.

Our hearts fill and something rises in our throats as we look into the faces of the comrades about to leave us, We can well imagine that the same 'Something' rises in their throats as the thought comes to them that after tonight, Cadet Gray is a thing of the past.

ROYALTIES BE DAMMED

May 23: On this day in 1913, Rand McNally rejected the novel, “Tarzan of the Apes,” only one day after they received the submission from Edgar Rice Burroughs. Rand McNally sold map books. It’s 112 years later and map books have virtually vanished. Nice call, guys. When I realize that McNally only gave Tarzan a cursory glance before sending it back, I remember a quotation that I learned at the University of Oklahoma from a friend named Dave Curtis. I’m sure I’ll mangle it here. Sorry, Dave.

“Less we forget or leave a lesson yet unlearned, this was the least of the price we paid for having left one stone unturned.”

Rand McNally is an American company that provides mapping software and hardware for consumer electronics, commercial transportation, and education markets. The company is headquartered in Illinois with a distribution center in Kentucky. I expect that a lot more people are interested in the location of the Jewel Vaults of Opar than are interested in the highway to the Rand McNally offices.

Publishing details, numerous illustrations and a complete Ebook of “Tarzan of the Apes,” are available at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0483.html

The fictional drabble, “Royalties be Dammed, for today is a conversation between Rand and McNally. While the conversation is fictional, the conclusion isn’t.

ROYALTIES BE DAMMED

Rand said, “That writer, Edgar Rice Burroughs,” sent us his Tarzan novel. It was a great success for All-Story Magazine. I’ve already read it. I think you should.”

“I’ve read it myself,” answered McNally. “Just return it. We publish maps.”

“We published ‘Mother Goose, why not Tarzan?”

“Think about our business plan. We don’t pay author royalties on maps. We keep all the earnings.”

“And Mother Goose?”

“Don’t be a silly goose, we don’t pay royalties there either. We’ll never be successful if we have to share our profits with writers. Send Tarzan back to the jungle whence he came.”

POOR BILL IS DEAD

May 24: On this day in 1944, Edgar Rice Burroughs finished writing the short story, “Uncle Bill.” The 1787-word horror story remained unpublished until 2001 when it was included in “Forgotten Tales of Love and Murder,” published by Adkins and Guidry. There is conflicting information about the day the story was completed, with some sources saying it was completed on May 20, 1944.

You can read the entire story and a review at: http://erbzine.com/mag67/6726.html

The drabble for today, “Poor Bill is Dead,” was written by ERB historian, Irwin Porges.

POOR BILL IS DEAD
“Despite some successful touches of realism, the story becomes merely a horror incident, the ending anticipated as soon as Bob and Mary discuss the attic. The viewpoint adopted by Burroughs, with Mary, the narrator, merely summarizing events, destroys the necessary suspense and of course weakens the characterization. Aunt Phoebe does not receive the individual development needed to explain her actions, and since the relationship between her and Uncle Bill is never established, the reader can conceive of no reason for the murder. Sent to the Saturday Evening Post, Liberty, and Cosmopolitan in 1944, "Uncle Bill" was rejected by all three.”

VISIONS OF MARS

May 25: On this day in 2008, the United States’ Phoenix Lander, successfully landed in the Green Valley of the Vastitas Borealis on Mars.

The Lander carried the equipment for several scientific experiments, but also a special DVD compiled by The Planetary Society. The disc contains “Visions of Mars, -- a multimedia collection of literature and art about the Red Planet. Works include the text of H. G. Wells’ 1897 novel “War of the Worlds,” and the1938 radio broadcast by Orson Welles, Percival Lowell’s 1908 book, “Mars as the Abode of Life,” all eleven Barsoom novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ray Bradbury’s “The Martian Chronicles,” and Kim Stanley Robinson’s “Green Mars.”

A number of my short stories are contained on similar archival disks on the moon.

The 100-word drabble for today is actually 111 words long, but I didn’t want to edit it. It’s the complete message on the disk.

VISIONS OF MARS

This archive, provided to the NASA Phoenix mission by The Planetary Society, contains literature and art (Visions of Mars), greetings from Mars visionaries of our day, and names of 21st century Earthlings who wanted to send their names to Mars. This DVD-ROM is designed to be read on personal computers in 2007. Information is stored in a spiral groove on the disc. A laser beam can scan the groove when metallized or a microscope can be used. Very small bumps and holes represent the zeroes and ones of digital information. The groove is about 0.74 micrometres wide. For more information refer to the standards document ECMA-268 (80 mm DVD Read-Only Disk)

THE LAD AND THE LION

May 26: On this day in 1917, Motion Picture World reviewed and summarized the silent film, “The Lad and the Lion,” based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’s novel of the same name.

“The Lad and the Lion” (1917) was the first film made of a Burroughs’ story and thepaid ERB $100 per reel for this five-reeler. Despite his considerable efforts to get film companies interested in his stories, this was the only success he had until “Tarzan of the Apes” was filmed the next year. The Lad and the Lion had the distinction of having its premiere (May 14, 1917) coincide with the print release of the story in “All-Story Weekly.” The film story was loosely remade in 1937 under the title “The Lion Man.”

Details about the film “The Lad and the Lion,” the reviews and several illustrations are located at:

https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0450.html

The 100-word drabble for today is from that review written by George H. Shorey.

THE LAD AND THE LION

This is the story of a narrative romance, with a most unusual setting and one of the most remarkable animal characters we have ever seen. We cannot say that the dramatic pieces held us spellbound, nor can we say that the realistic leaps of the lion made us shiver, but we feel that audiences not inured to the tricks of the camera will perhaps get the real thrill intended. It is there, logically, The Chief reason it did not get us was that the action was too rapid, and to foreign to our sympathies to hold us to the spot.

CALL IT A DRAW

May 27: On this day in 1900, Artist Rudolph Belarski, Argosy cover artist for "Synthetic Men of Mars," "The Red Star of Tarzan," "Carson of Venus" and the "Thrilling Adventures" cover for "Tarzan and the Jungle Murders" was born in Dupont, Pennsylvania. Belarski specialized in World War One covers for the pulps, including covers for War Aces, War Birds, War Novels, and War Stories.

He remained an active magazine cover artist until sometime in the 1960s and an art instructor until 1972.

There's an article about Rudolph and his ERB related work at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag10/1004.html

The fictional drabble for today is “”Call it a Draw,” was inspired by his career.

CALL IT A DRAW

John Barrett, a prospective art student, called Ralph Belarski. “Hi, my name’s Josh and I want to illustrate paperback books like that Frazetta guy. How much to teach me?”

“I charge by the hour. There’s no way to say how much until I see your work.”

“My friends say my stuff is great.”

“Your friends aren’t buying cover art. What training have you had.”

“None. This art stuff is easy. I don’t worry about proportions, perspectives, or that vanishing point thing. I’m a natural.”

“I have no doubt. Everything is easy for people who don’t understand how hard it is.”

HE'S BOUND TO BE GUILTY OR HE WOULDN'T BE HERE

May 28: On this day in 1932, Edgar Rice Burroughs’s short mystery story, “The Red Necktie,” was published in Rob Wagner’s Script Magazine. It’s a standalone mystery, a courtroom drama seeking the man who gave a red necktie to a judge and then murdered him.

You can read the entire mystery at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag0/0048.html

The story was included in the book, “Forgotten Tales of Love and Murder,” published in 2001.

The 100-word drabble for today. “He’s Bound to be Guilty or He Wouldn’t be Here,” is excerpted from the jury instructions in the short story, “The Red Necktie and it was written my Edgar Rice Burroughs over ninety years ago. Credit to Rudyard Kipling for the title. The photo of the judge was the first one that came up when I googled “Judge in a red necktie,” and any political commentary is in the eye of the beholder.

HE'S BOUND TO BE GUILTY OR HE WOULDN'T BE HERE

“Gentlemen of the jury, during this trial the evidence has shown conclusively that one of these four defendants is guilty. These men have tried to shield one another, but the State has circumvented them by reducing the identification of the guilty man to a matter of cold figures. Unintentionally and unknowingly on their part, they have been adroitly led into divulging the identity of the culprit by revealing his age. The man against whom you must bring in a verdict of guilty, if this great and glorious nation is to endure, has just been identified by Mr. James, the prosecutor.”

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

May 29: On this day in 1929, Edgar Rice Burroughs submitted “A Fighting Man of Mars” to Argosy. It was rejected. Burroughs promptly submitted the seventh novel in the Barsoomian series to Blue Book Magazine, which serialized it in monthly installments from April through September 1930. Laurence Herndon illustrated covers for five of the six installments and Frank Hoban did seven interior illustrations for each issue.

Publishing details, several illustrations and covers, and a complete Ebook are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag7/0735.html

The novel features communication between Barsoom and Earth via the Gridley Wave. Jason Gridley, John Carter, and Ulysses Paxton make appearances, but the story belongs to the fighting man, Hadron of Hastor, who goes in search of the beautiful Sanoma Tora, who ultimately proves that beauty is only skin deep. She betrays Hadron, but when he saves her from the life she’s chosen, she switches allegiance and professes love for him. Hadron spurns her, saying that he loves a slave, the brave Tavia, a female worthy to be one of the heroines of Edgar Rice Burroughs.

The story also introduces “the cloak of invisibility,” and how Harry Potter every ended up with it is beyond me.

The 100-word dabble for today, “Love the One You’re With,” was inspired by the novel, “The Fighting Man of Mars.” Kudos to performing artist Stephen Stills for the title of the drabble.

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

Hadron rescued the faithless Sanoma Tora, a beautiful woman had professed love, feigned or real, for her captor.

She cried. “I never loved him. I only pretended to in order to survive. I only love you.”

“I imagine you told him much the same. You’re well fed and wearing the fine robes and jewels he gave you.”

She spoke haughtily. “And I should suffer while I wait for you? Look into my eyes. You’ll see how much I love you.”

“Sanoma, the only thing I see in your eyes is deceit and disappointment, and I’ve had my fill of both.”

HARD FOR THE MONEY

May 30: On this day in 1927, actor Norman Eugene “Clint” Walker, a Tarzan-like character in the Bowery Boys’ film, “Jungle Gents,” was born in Hartford, Illinois. Clint is best known for his portrayal of Cheyenne Brodie in the television western series, “Cheyenne.” He appeared in several movies and television series, but a few of them were, “The Dirty Dozen,” “Send Me No Flowers,” “None But the Brave,” ‘Yellowstone Kelly,” and “Night of the Grizzly.”

His role as a “Tarzan” like character was his first acting role. There is anecdotal information that Clint tried out for the role as Tarzan, but wasn’t selected. I haven’t been able to verify that information.

<>In “Jungle Gents,” Walker’s character was unnamed. He was referred to as Anatta’s mate. Anatta was a jungle girl who apparently lived only to kill Huntz Hall, who reprised his role as Horace Debussy Jones (Sach). The jungle sets used for the film were the same sets used to film the “Bomba” films. Clint Walker in ERBzine Hall of Fame: https://www.erbzine.com/mag31/3137.html . Tarzans That Might Have Been in ERBzine: https://www.erbzine.com/mag31/3129.html
The drabble for today, “Hard For The Money.” is a series of quotations attributed to Clint Walker.

HARD FOR THE MONEY

I worked on riverboats and joined the Merchant Marines. After WW2, I tried selling vacuum cleaners, insurance, and even cars.
I worked on the waterfront making sure the longshoremen didn’t take too many things.

I never took myself too seriously. Acting is just a job, and it's important to have fun and enjoy the process.
I was just a regular guy who happened to be in some movies.

I’ve had jobs that were hard work and it’s better to play a hardworking man than to be one.

End your day with a smile, a happy thought, and a grateful smile.

OWNERSHIP

May 31: On this day in 1922, Edgar Rice Burroughs completed dictating “Tarzan and the Golden Lion” on his Ediphone.

The novel would be serialized in Argosy All-Story Weekly over the holidays in 1922/1923. The first edition was published by A. C. McClurg on March 24, 1923. The iconic cover by J. Allen St. John, which follows the theme of the pulp cover by P. J. Monahan, has become the symbol for Edgar Rice Burroughs Inc.

The novel, in my humble opinion, is one of the best.

Publishing details, several illustrations including book and magazine covers, and the complete Etext of the novel are located at: https://www.erbzine.com/mag4/0495.html

The drabble for today is, “Ownership,” inspired by the novel and the relationship between Tarzan and Jal-bal-ja, the Golden Lion.”

OWNERSHIP

The soldier of fortune turned his rifle from Tarzan when the gigantic lion growled. “Tarzan,” he said, “The lion will kill us both.”

Tarzan growled. “I think not. I know this lion.’

‘You speak lion? Tell your lion to go away.”

“Not my lion. Owning a lion is like owning the wind.”

The lion tore the rifle from the man’s hands.

“Control your pet.”

“Friend, not pet.”

The man threatened the lion with a knife. The lion swallowed the man’s hand

He screamed, “Stop your lion.”

Tarzan said, “Again, not my lion. Be happy he only wanted a snack.”