In assuming the privilege of dedicating "the papers" addressed through your indefatigable Secretary to your theo-ret-ically learned body, I am aware that I expose myself to the censorious charge of endeavoring to obtain, in a surreptitious way, the valuable sanction of the world-wide reputation you have gained for scientific wisdom. But when I appeal openly for the aid of your theo-ret-ical knowledge in elucidating the status of the pre-historic antecedents of humanity, in confirmation of their subsequent record of habits and customs, it should disarm censure and obtain for me the indispensable boon that I require. If you are willing to confer the service that I solicit, and the honor of accepting the dedication of my "Investigations and Experience in Saar Soong," you will benefit the public by expressing your scientific opinion, theo-ret-ically, in answer to the following queried propositions:
Imprimis -- Would instinctive habit and custom, in your opinion, produce the sensation of a wag in the spinal elongation of the os-sacrum and coccygeal caudal continuations, as described by Ran Avan? -- p. 7.
Do you uphold that the sons and daughters of Eve retain the rudimentary hirsute and caudal germs of the vestments that clothed her during the contentful period she passed in Eden; and that they can be reproduced by the cultivation of like habits? -- pp. 11-30, inclusive.
Is it not possible that the resemblance in scenery between Eden and Leslie Holm had a tendency to redevelop pre-Adamic impressions, that resulted in birth adaptation to the requirements of contentful support? -- p. 53.
Are there limits in the development of instinctive habits which exceed the educational power of disciplined imitation? -- p. 56.
What in your estimation, are the essentials required in conducive aid for an extended longevity, with the retention of the mental faculties in a normal state for vigorous expression? -- p. 60.
Is not the fashionable fondness of "society ladies" for furs an indication derived from the transmitted impression of their first self-supplied dress endowment? -- p. 62.
Which do you consider the most authentic, the Chinese or Israelitish record of the world's creation? -- p. 65.
In your opinion, did the old Serpent's method of ascending the toddy tree suggest to Archimides the invention of the corkscrew? -- p. 72.
Do you maintain that it was from over-indulgence in partaking of the forbidden fruit that caused the loss of Adam and Eve's tails and depilation, or that the fruit itself was the destructive cause? -- p. 79.
In your opinion, would it be theo-ret-ically advisable to reduce speech within the limits of truthful expression? -- p. 87.
Would you not consider a fledged-tail as necessary for the direction of angelic flight to the heavenly and nether creed-ports as a rudder to a vessel for ocean navigation? -- p. 90.
Do you argue from the caudal extension of the sacrum and os coccyx affected by the Gibbons' missionary labors, that it was lost by retraction? -- p. 105.
In your estimation, do you consider the knowledge derived from public lectures theo-ret-ically practical? -- p. 115.
Does sectarianism serve to promote union? -- p. 119.
Will you please weigh in the balance of your opinion and judgment the Chata expositions of Doctor Olu Babi? -- p. 120.
Are the specie variations in tail manifestations of animality standard indication of sagacity? -- p. 131.
What influence would the abridgment of an animal's tail be likely to exercise on the temper? -- p. 142.
Do you consider the emotional intelligence of affection the highest source of happiness? -- p. 155.
Is it not probable that the Lord God of the Garden of Eden made the reservation of the fruit of the tree of knowledge with the disinterested intention of preserving the Orang's and Worang's souls (stomachs, Proverbs 6: 30) from the experience that would follow the evil effects produced by it -- knowing that the evil of over- indulgence would beget a like source of temptation that would destroy grateful affection? -- p. 157.
Was it not with the fore-ordained intention of indicating the advantages of self-legislation that he made the prohibition? -- p. 158.
If the wo-rang had not stolen the fruit, or toddy, would it not have preserved her posterity from the multiplied evils of law, medicine and theology? -- pp. 161-178, inclusive.
In your opinion, was religion the curse evolved as a faith source of reprisal for the penalty of transgression? If so, does not its angelic wing attachment to the immovable scapula, and lack of tail for rudder direction, show clearly crude human devisement founded upon unregenerated faith, without suitable works for the attainment of its object? -- pp. 162-178, inclusive.
Moreover, does not the Brazilian ape's recognition of the ludicrous attachment of the Chinese tail to the head show an innate perception of the hereditary influence of the wo-rang's devotional reverence and faith in the old Serpent's god-like attributes? -- p. 179.
As an architectural device, would you not consider Mahomet's adaptation of a spire consistent for eliciting and attracting devotional worship to the sacred source from whence it emanated? -- p. 179.
Do you not recognize in Mahomet's foresight the revival impressions that attracted the followers of San-kee to witness the marvelous incoherency of expression in convert's tail translation from Mood-ee? -- pp. 168-188, inclusive.
Are not the ideas evolved in my diaretical observations agreeable to and consistent with your theo-ret-ical notions? -- pp. 197-201, inclusive.
Do you believe in the constancy of tailiphonic reciprocations founded upon faith without works? -- p. 203.
Can you imagine, theo-ret-ically, a more unselfish sacrifice than the Patriarch's bequeathment of his tailacy to Bridget, in perpetuity for the redemption of her own despondency from the inherited curse of Eve and the wo- rang, and its transmission to her posterity as a tailismanic heir-loom? -- p. 175.
In argument, would you support the affirmative, or negative, views, of the question of cause, whether the toddy, or the loss of her tail had the greatest influence in provoking the wo-rang's revengeful spite when she found that her first-born inherited, for reflection, the curse of her trangression? -- p. 113.
Will your knowledge sustain theo-ret-ically the legitimacy and specific effect of counter-irritation, introduced by Eve for the correction of Cain's sin, imparted from the hereditary impression of her own example? or vice versa, the reaction introduced for the cure of the exampled habits of the senior Ran Avan and son by Doctor Olu Babi? -- pp. 205-213, inclusive.
Do you believe that the abridgment of a tail provokes meanness and ferocity? -- pp. 142-179, inclusive.
If you should, as a body, devote yourselves theoretically to the subject, I feel certain that in the course of a month you would be able to revive, for practical realization, all the latent impressions necessary for the assurance of faith in caudal regermination. -- p. 148.
Do you not realize that, in theo-ret-ical and practical demonstration, sectarian multiplication has proved the curse of mankind, as prophetically denounced in the beginning and illustrated through the bible record; and that its tendencies are for the reproduction in arithmetical progression, of Amaruthian and Gulosputian dispositions? -- pp. 11-251, inclusive.
Finis -- As a practical check upon the progress of sectarianism, would not self-legislation, in the exampled method adopted by the family descendants of Abou Ben Isaacs, produce the much-desired result of establishing an earthly premonition of an affectionate immortality? -- pp. 1-263, inclusive.
You will undoubtedly be surprised to learn that I have turned aside from the beaten track of scientific and literary investigation common to travelers in search for relic novelty to establish a foundation for the reedification of past usage. The cause that tempted me to become an apostate to the hand-book regulations of society, designed for the perceptive enlightenment of instinctive sense, I will describe in as brief a manner as possible. During my recent voyage from Sedang Borneo to Singapoor, on board of the armed trading packet Lorcha Martha, we touched at the port of Banka for an exchange of freight. When ready to renew our voyage we received on board as passengers M. Oderat, a Catholic Missionary, and the Rev. Benedict Rantkin, a free-will Baptist Missionary, who had been taken prisoners in the sack of Soordook by a chang, or band, of Look Malay pirates. Their lives had been spared after a searching examination of their acquired abilities for useful employment; when it was discovered that the former was a skillful French cook, and the latter a capable and ingenious jack-knife artist; as the reputation of the French and Yankees they had tested in these specialties of nationality by a long series of captures. M. Oderat was accompanied by a singular being, whose physiognomy betokened an unusually recent ingraft of celtic scionry with the original type of manhood. After the missionaries' liberation by the Rajah Brooke, they were "interviewed" by this person at Abia, who, after introducing himself by the name of Patronimick Kan-Avan, commenced a searching inquiry, to learn if they had discovered during their captivity, types of a race that resembled him. From their assurance that all the Ladinong (Kubu Orangs, styled by the natives refuse men of ape parentage,) families were of the Malay cast of features and complexion, he asked the privilege of bearing Father Oderat company in his homeward journey. As there was a report of a large fleet of Malay prihous lying in wait for traders among the intermediate islands, the captain of the Martha determined to hug the eastern shore of Sumatra. It was not until the day after we had gained the Sumatrian shore that I ventured to accost our new passengers, as they seemed to hold themselves aloof from association through fear of an impending danger that threatened a second term of captivity. While doubling a point, which was covered with a heavy growth of the banian mangrove, which extended into deep water, we discovered a party of Kubu Orangs fishing from off a pack of drift that had lodged against the inward trend of the northern shore. As their features were regular and of an olive tint, free from hair, they attracted general attention; the Cingalee Badda and Malay sailors seemingly regarding them with a gaze as curious as our own. The captain, well acquainted with the indications of deep water, and the wind serving, ran the vessel within a few fathoms of them, so that we mutually gained a clear view of each others' faces. When we were passing their position they rose to their feet, leisurely, without the slightest indication of fear, but evidently with the intention of getting a better view of our persons, which were partially concealed by the bulwarks. Their bodies were well formed, although covered with hair, and in stature they averaged above the middle height of our civilized rank and file. Although lacking in expression, their features were not devoid of all traits esteemed essential to the role of comeliness by the Caucasian race. Indeed, it was hard to escape a favorable conviction in their behalf by a comparison in contrast with members of our race, who would be shocked with a hint of relationship. While we held each other in close review, neither party seemed inclined to express by signs or words their emotions of surprise. But when we had gained an offing and I had recourse to my sea-glass, the Orangs raised their hands to their eye in imitation. The scene, when it had passed from view, served as an introductory subject of conversation, which I opened with the inquiry, if in their travels in Borneo they had encountered specimens of the Kubu Orang who had forced upon them a like conviction of relationship? Father Oderat did not seem inclined to satisfy my curiosity, but Mr. Rantkin said that the Kubu Orangs of Borneo resembled the species from which they sprung, in features, habits, and vindictive ferocity, and were, to all intents, soulless, and beyond the power of redeeming grace. It appeared from further conversation that the Malay masters of the missionaries, in humorous scorn of their pretensions to a new birth-alliance with their gods, had subjected them to Kubu task-masters.
In vindication of my curiosity, I stated that the object of my investigation was to test the truth of Sir Stamford Raffies', Rajah Brooke's, Gibson's, and other scientific travelers' statements, which declared an existing hybrid compatibility of union between the Orang and clearly defined human species. Father Oderat urged that it was quite sufficient for us to know that we were infallibly human, without endeavoring to subvert with scientific evasions the word of God! When I urged that truth was a creative dispensation, designed for our direction to a higher grade of happy attainment, Mr. Rantkin referred me to the tree of knowledge and its fruit, which brought sin and death into the world and all our woes! "We are free-will agents, he continued, and with the efficacy of prayer, inspired by faith in the written word of God, we can, with renewed grace, gain a new birth in Christ, that will protect us from temptations of the devil, which have consigned the Malay race to a beastly degradation, beyond the hope of redemption. As the experience of the missionaries had failed to enlighten their understanding for a clear perception of practical evidence, my discretion withheld me from entering the lists of argument.
Kan Avan, while the Orangs were in view, kept his hands nervously moving up and down his back beneath his coat-tails. (His coat was of the Irish "court dress fashion," short waist, with breast lappels to correspond, and long swallow tails.) Notwithstanding the mutual fascination of gaze caused by the novel encounter of evergent specimens of humanity, with those in an apparent state of proximate emergence from the tadpole period, curious glances of comparison were attracted from them to the person of Kan Avan, which he could not fail to interpret, although they were in intention void of offense.
Having inherited a predisposition to democracy, I could not withhold the exclamation, breathed with the aspiration of a sigh, "Thank God I have now seen a primative democrat capable of appreciating the constituent rights of an honest equality!" This enthusiastic ejaculation brought Kan Avan to my side, with the exclamation, "An' sure you are a gintleman of sinse. and a man of science after me own heart!" Then, as if conscious of attracting attention, he relapsed into silence, while M. Oderat and Rantkin answered my inquiry in the characteristic style of their sects. After the crew -- off watch -- had exercised their ingenuity in pantomimic burlesque of the Orangs, stub tails, and other peculiarities, in the Caucasian style of African imitation, and the passengers had resumed their pipes and smoke ruminations, Kan Avan, with a furtive glance deprecating freedom from observation, asked me if I would favor him with a few minutes conversation in his state-room below. In compliance, I joined him in his cabin, and after he had set his punkah in motion (it revolved with the impetus of clock- work), and refreshed me with an orange beesep, flavored with champagne, he, with evident embarrasment, addressed me in the following style: "If I had not been convinced that you was a gentleman entirely, of excellent naturalistic abilities and democratic sympathies, I should never have been drawn out to confide in you a family secret that belongs to me alon, as I am not altogether certain who my parental ancestors were, for I never had a home, except in my adopted country, and the cradle of liberty, where I was naturalized. For all that, I feel at times, when subject to strong emotions of sympathy, a friendly wag in the lower portion of my back, but this, you know, I have never stated openly, as my modesty could never withstand the jibes of prejudice; a Father Oderat, to whom I confided the impression as a confessional secret, exorcised the idea as the work of the devil, who labored to pervert the thoughts of mankind into his own caudial way of expression.
"Now when we came so suddenly on those native gentlemen who were fishing apostolically, I could not restrain a feeling of elation in my back, and belikes the same when you expressed so energetically your democratic sympathies. Not that this emotional wag -- or whatever you may be pleased to call it -- should make you think that I am in any way related to the likes of them in the matter of blood, but I thought possibly from the pleasurable sensations, it might indicate kindred ties of affection in another way! You see, I thought that my parents, whom I have heard lived on an island in the Indian Ocean, and am now in search for, might have been frightened by the sudden appearance of a native about the premises! You understand? The doctors have told me that such things are likely to prove hereditary. Moreover, although I have concealed my personal impressions, I have often been asked what my sensations were when I visited a menagerie; which, you know, was more or less an insinuation that there was something remarkable about my resemblance. This was remarked by a doctor, and I might have taken it in dudgeon as a personal insult, but I knew that he was looney on the relationship of monkeys to the human species. Besides, I did not flatter myself that he reflected a personal resemblance, for I take it that I am considerably above the average in the matter of distinguished features, imposing figure, and dignified bearing. With one exception, which is only known to myself and my confessors, and is not perceptible in a remarkable degree with my coat on, I imagine that but few gentlemen would dare treat my claims to a Christian descent cavalierly by a hint to the rudimentary fact. If my birth had been entailed, I'm sure I shouldn't have taken so kindly to spiritual influence and Christian doctrine. Although there are many things that appear out of the usual course, still I have studied enough scientifically and physiologically to believe that everything created has a beginning and an end, as well as a democratic level, if we don't go above our common origin. At any rate, if you can't give me your full sympathy, and believe me a man for all that, you'll he sure to keep the object of my visit to Indgy a secret?"
During the rambling revelation of Kan Avan, my attentive admiration was constantly on the alert to detect, and, if possible, to separate, the hereditary impressions of the spinal chord continuation from those of the brain; as it is a fact patent to the knowledge of all who have been abridged of a member that all its sensations of movement, and of cold and heat are retained with scarcely perceptible diminution. At the close I assured him of my sympathy to the extent of my limited capacity, which was enhanced by a feeling of friendship that I once had for an old garden pensioner that with the privilege of familiarity I called Jack, and promised to aid him to the extent of my ability, in his parental search Adding my commendations in praise of an affection that had prompted him to undertake a filial pilgrimage in search of the shrine of paternity, our cabin interview ended with his grateful protestations of eternal friendship; but his simiathetic emotions continued to well up long after our return to the deck, producing a corresponding movement, as if to bestow upon me a prehensile grasp in acknowledgment of gratification.
As you will readily surmise, I adopted, in part, his own interpretation of the cause which had subjected him to this hereditary monomaniac impression of entailment. But the captain assured me that he had conveyed passengers to and from a small embarcadero, or landing place, that was used as an entrepot for a large valley estate situated between the two interior mountain ranges of Sumatra, and was owned by an eccentric English family, who asserted that there were families living under their protection who acknowledged derivation from orang and European parentage. When our preparations for landing were completed, on the day of our arrival in the port of Singapoor, while standing remote from the throng collected in the waist of the ship, Kan Ayan approached me unobserved. and addressed me with the subdued inquiry: "Are you quite sure, since I reminded you of the fact, that you have never felt in the lower part of your spine a prehensile desire to clasp an object of affection in warm embrace? or a lashing paroxysm when subject to a fit of rage?" If he had possessed the power of divination, he could not have approached nearer the current of my thoughts, for my imagination had been busily engaged in supplying the motley assemblage with tails for pantomimic gesticulation, as a decisive check upon chattering volubility, which served to mystify and retard negotiations rather than as an aid for amicable adjustment; and in reversion had just referred the impression for the judgment of my own spinal chord. Of course his question, so pat for the expression of my own humorous ruminations, caused me to smile audibly, which served, from his interpretation, as a check upon further communication, but as he turned to go below, I heard him mutter, "brevis caudam -- it can't be expected!"
The boat was picked up by a Dutch vessel to the south of Delhi on the 27th day from the wreck, but the captain insisted upon completing his voyage to Batavia before returning to render assistance to his consort, for they had sailed from Amsterdam in company. The party of his brother had been driven back by the natives, after having reached a highland plateau of surpassing beauty, with which he was so enraptured that he declared his determination to effect a settlement in despite of the natives, if they succeeded in obtaining help to relaunch the ship. In due time the ship was restored to her element, and Henri Vondermaiden established his family in the mountain valley of Saar Soong. Its situation and surroundings were singularly remarkable for beauty, and its altitude of five thousand feet above the sea insured a refreshingly salubrious atmosphere, which combined with a well-watered fertility of soil and varied adaptation for the production of temperate and tropical fruits, rendered it surpassingly desirable as a place of abode, notwithstanding the great distance and difficulty of reaching a port of embarkation. The greatest of its apprehended disadvantages was its proximity to the territory of a colony of Cingalese Baddas, who had, by some chance gale, been transhipped to the Sumatrian shore with an apparent increase of savage ferocity. To undertake the settlement of a place so remote from an available market and succor, presupposed great local attractions and boldness for their successful cultivation and retention. The courage of the Vondermaidens was peculiar to their Dutch origin, and successful from its daring, which, although adventured with seemingly reckless enterprise, was in fact guarded with precautionary provisions in anticipation of the possible failure of their schemes. Their triumphant control of their savage neighbors for two-thirds of a century, without an outbreak of their ferocious dispositions, bespeaks a wisdom of judgment quite opposite to the reckless ruthlessness of the American settlers of English and Spanish birth, who provoked the vengeful spirit of the Indians by impositions and encroachments. During this long period they had not only managed to keep on good terms with the Baddas, but actually obtained from them laboring service in erecting a fortified enclosure to provide against the contingency of future enmity.
They were also employed with like success in the cultivation of their plantations, and in the educational process subjecting them to toiling hardships reprobated by the traditional usages of their progenitors. The means used by which they obtained over them this directing power had, in the hands of the English colonists, from a lack of provisionary discretion, been the cause of bloody reprisals for impositions practiced under its influence.
The Vondermaidens, by a politic combination of rites and ceremonies calculated to inspire their superstitious fears with religious awe, by imposing upon them the mechanism of the still surmounted by curiously carved gods as the presiding controllers of its spiritual dispensations, so wrought upon the Baddas that they believed the Dutch to be the Lushvedas, or prophets of their god Vishnu, who held celestial control over the mouth, stomach. and belly. By wise decree Sunday with held sacred as a day of rest, that the Saturday night's communicants might recover from the effects of their potations. Father Anslem, in his confessional record, uses the following language: "So bigoted had these benighted heathens become in a single year, that those unable to walk to the temple of the still to partake of the spirit of their faith, in commemoration of their god's triune attributes, were brought on their relative's backs; but, often from worshipful excess in devotional zeal, were obliged to pass the night in a trance state upon the ground beside their bearers. As the desired effects depended on its skillful administration, under the influence of imposing rites designed for producing an impression of awe, the office of grand high priest devolved on me, after the death of my predecessor Padre Simon, who used less discretion in the control of his own devotion to the sacramental waters than he exercised over his savage participants. It may appear strange that I, an ordained priest of our must holy church and the Society of Jesus, should be guilty of a profanation of the most sacred eucharistic rites of transubstantiation; but the manifest good imparted for holding the ferocious instincts of the savages under control for more mature christianization sanctified the means and made it acceptable in like manner with the acts of our great exemplar. From the effects produced we studied their individual welfare, and by tempering the means, controlled the spiritual manifestations. As you will readily comprehend, there were no laggards to the communion service, as in our churches at home, notwithstanding the exaction of other tithes than those derived from the labor of hands, which exceeded in value the cost of the ceremonial rites. At first we dreaded exposure from envious adventurers, who would, like the dog in the manger, seek to deprive us of what in naught could avail them, as it would insure their own with our destruction. But gradually the earnest improvement of our neophytes banished fear, for they became so completely subject to our control, and withal aware of their happy change in the protective providence of domestic economy, it would have gone hard with the interloper had he ventured to expose our impositions, which had proved so practically beneficial. The scheme having been fully matured in the beginning, none were allowed to participate in the secret influence of the temple still but trustworthy persons. The mystery of the temple, which was built in a deep glen at a great distance from the fortified enclosure and cultivated portions of the valley, was as much a subject of gossiping speculation with the servants of the family, from its style of architecture and surroundings, as of reverential awe to the Baddas. Immediately after my induction as priest, I will acknowledge that the deception I was abetting caused me great disquietude, from self accusations that I could not repress by any manner of reasoning with which I had been accustomed to sustain my acts. But Mynheer Vondermaiden was more happy in his endeavors to quiet my scruples of conscience, for he explained that the Baddas were as wild in their appetites as the beasts of the forests, and could not be made to work for their own advantage without the stimulating deception, or controlled, if once they were made to understand that the Geneva Baptism -- as he facetiously styled the distilled liquor -- was the juice transformed from fruits furnished by themselves. Moreover, in vindication of his invention, he urged the example of our own people, who, when they used spirits freely, did not hesitate to set at defiance laws of restraint and penalties while subject to the influence. "How long," he asked, with apprehensive sincerity, "would your missionary prayers and teachings restrain their ferocity in its natural state, or should we be able to defend our lives if their instincts once became maddened with its uncontrolled use? Furthermore, you cannot withhold your convictions that it is other than an honest deception, for by its cautious dispensation we control rather than excite their evil passions, which could not be reached by reason or your religion. With like effect, the superstitious blindness of our commonality subjects them to your control from the imaginary efficacy of the rites and ceremonies of your church. But our Geneva Baptism affords you more effectual evidence of its efficacy, in the conversion of a commonality of Baddas into subjects capable of being controlled for their own and others' good, without being able to raise themselves, unaided by the deception, upon the foundation we have established for mutual protection." Although I felt keenly the truth of his sceptical insinuations, I could not forbear checking him for his lack of reverence for things sacred. "But," he continued smiling, "is it not enough to satisfy your craviug that the Baddas reverence you in your new vocation, which has enabled you to accomplish much good in their behalf, without making me subserve their part in your ancient imaginary role of faith?" Notwithstanding his irreverent disposition to sneer at the holy rites of the church, I could not withhold my admiration for his great practical powers of judgment shown in anticipating the means of controlling the savage passions, and was even glad to hear him acknowledge that he copied from our church method. Although equivocally using the heretical name of the stronghold of fanaticism for the designation of the spirit of Badda transubstantiation, which produced, he urged, instead of faith, influential fact, I held my peace, for I was unwilling to expose my weakness by argument; for I could not fail to perceive that the virtue of his invention resided in the ritual discretion of administration, which the bare ceremonials of our church could not reach; as faith without works would prove a stumbling block to savage comprehension.
With this descriptive insight into the paradoxical method of the Vondermaidens' adoption for holding the savage instincts of the Baddas in subjection, we will now proceed to note the opposite policy of the Darwings, their relatives, and successors to Saar Soong, who threw off the ritual disguise necessary for the control of superstitious instinct. Fortunately, for the purpose of clear demonstration, Father Anslem has portrayed the phlegmatic self-restraint of the Darwings' Netherlandic predecessors, who never allowed their covetousness to overstep the bounds of prudence. By making the gin-flavored products of the still the means of inspiring the trustful confidence of superstitious reverence -- founded upon the exhilarating properties skillfully managed -- they not only shielded their own lives, but were able to confer real benefits upon their unwitting dupes. Unlike their European neighbors, the Batavians, in founding colonies, studied the savage characteristics of the aborigines for the purpose of utilizing their services without subjecting them to absolute slavery; and while allowing them the nominal impression of freedom -- which serves as a placebo for the boast of the citizen demagogue -- they obtained an amount of labor that never could be forced by the task- master from the real slave. The Darwings, on their accession, were advised to continue the temple rites of the still, and were warned by the priests of the fatal result that would follow from the sale of andent Spirits to the Baddas. But the father, who had married the sole surviving daughter of the last Vondermaiden inheritor of Saar Soong, was of the Hebrew race, and had been educated in Holland among his people, whose dispositiond have never inclined them to become cultivators of the soil, as the time between seed season and harvest would be esteemed by them lost, as it gave no material evidenee of compounding monthly interest upon the investment. The advice of the priests was received with the sectarian spirit of disdain, and when once entered upon his proposed career of "reform" -- which in substance meant quick barter returns -- he could not turn back and cover the exposure he had made of his predecessors' impositions, as the savages were unable to distinguish the casuistical difference between a dispensation of evil, under the guise of deception, for good, and its open, free-will exchange upon the same terms.
In the second year after the establishment of the new regime, scarcely a characteristic vestige remained to mark the improvement that had been wrought in the physical condition of the Baddas by the Vondermaiden dispensation of the "Geneva Baptism."
On the 4th of October, 1737, after all communication with the coast had been closed for two months by an insurrection of the Baddas, they surprised the guards of the fortified enclosure, and after gaining an entrance, killed Mr. Darwing and all the servants.
But Mrs. Darwing with her boyra (Kandyan nurse) and three young children escaped from a postern gate and had nearly gained the jungle when they were overtaken by a Malay half-breed, a rejected lover of the nurse, who with his kyrta (a long kris dagger) made a lunge at Mrs. Darwing's breast, but the nurse averted his intention by seizing his arm, which caused its point to gash the face of the infant she carried. The boyra sprung upon the vengeful wretch with a foster-mother's desperation, and holding his arms pinioned with her own, called upon the mother to escape with her children. The mother in stooping to recover the child she had dropped, came within reach of the struggling savage who plunged his knife into her body. She with an answering groan seized her child and fled to the forest with dying energy, her elder children following clinging to her skirt with the clutch of fright. The brave boyra, inspired with the courage of desperation for the preservation of her foster children held the struggling fiend until they entered the forest, then feeling that her strength was failing, she summoned its remaining energy and wrenched the kyrta from his grasp and without hesitation killed him. Released by this decisive act from detention, she searched the forest for her lost charges, but only succeeded in finding the mother, who was in a dying condition and past the power of speech, but gave the faithful boyra tokens of grateful recognition. Continuing her search until the third day, she was warned of her danger by discovering a band of Baddah on her trail, when she was obliged to seek security for her own safety in flight. After many weary days passed in danger she reached Delhi, on the eastern coast, where she took service with a Dutch family who had often visited "Geneva Shiedam," as they had in the days of the Vondermaidens familiarly styled Saar Soong. Her tidings of the massacre, although they shocked, did not surprise those acquainted with the change of policy adopted by the Darwings.
The apprehension of a catastrophe so fearful, caused my grandmother to take charge of her own children, the aya acting as an aid. On the lamentable day of her loss she left the infant in the cradle and stepped into an adjoining room without closing the door and turned, only for a moment, to secure a fan, but on her return to the cradle she found it empty! A glance at the open treme (bamboo lattice window- blind) announced the fate of her cbild, and with a fearful outcry she alarmed the household. But a few moments elapsed before the servants, under the direction of the practiced hunters of the estate, were in full career for the boothies of orangs at the opening of the ghaut.
Notwithstanding the utmost speed was used, they found the boothies deserted, but everything about them indicated a recent and sudden flight, and the pursuit was continued up the ghaut. When the summit was reached and a point gained that overlooked the wooded gorge, and a second pass in the range of mountains beyond, the chang was discovered in full swing from tree to tree, with a swaying of branches in advance, which showed that the main body had gained a start that rendered further pursuit hopeless. The fact that a child stolen by the orangs had never been recovered, did not deter my grandparents from continuing the search, which was prosecuted with the utmost vigor for the space of three months by large parties starting from different points, so that in range it embraced a good portion of the island, and in result greatly diminished the orang population.
At length they became impressed with the utter hopelessness of farther search, and inconsolable returned to India. The Vondermaidens, with a desire to impart the assurance of their heartfelt sympathy, promised they woud use their best efforts for the recovery of the child. But from that period, during the life of the last Vondermaiden, an orang was never seen in the Saar Soong valley.
Twelve years after the Darwing massacre, when the sale of the estate of Saar Soong was announced, my grandmother's yearnings for her lost child induced my grandfather to purchase it. Well aware of all that had transpired, and the nature of the Badda disposition, my grandfather felt confident that he could, without excessive severity, enforce from them obedience from the first, and in train enlist their willing sympathy. During the first year he was obliged to have frequent recourse to arms for subjecting the turbulent to his control, but gradually with the contrast of kind treatment to the deserving he finally succeeded in forcing them to recognize the difference between good and evil. But full ten years were required, with the reduction of the tribe to one-third of its original number, before they could be made to realize that a persistence in treachery would result in extermination. At last, by a systematic course of forced labor under taskmasters, he made them understand that the cultivation of the soil would yield them all that they required for comfort, with a zest for its enjoyment. After he had conquered subjection to his kind intentions, he laid the foundation of a system of education for the reclamation of their children's instincts from the hereditary impression of evil. For the accomplishment of this purpose, he established separate nurseries for the male and female children, so that they might be withheld from parental example in association, allowing the mothers to give them daily nourishment, and the fathers occasional opportunities to witness their improvement for the encouragement of affectionate pride. He acknowledged that he had received the hint for this inductive system of education from the course adopted by the English stock-breeder for the improvement of calves and colts. When the Baddas began to realize the pleasure afforded from the self-supplied products of cultivation, and were no longer dangerous to the unwary, my immediate grandfather derived great pleasure from the "friendly" visits of those who had foreboded their irreclaimable nature, and that his father's family would follow the Darwing's lead. When he was well advanced in years, one of his guests, an inveterate hunter, under the guidance of a Badda forester, strayed into the remote portion of the valley, at the opening of the ghaut formerly cultivated by the Vondermaidens for the production of melons as a food offering to the Orangs, which still retained in a wild state its fruitful impression. While resting under a tamarisk, his eyes, in glancing over the beautiful landscape, caught sight of what appeared to him like a Passumah Arab woman of the coast. But as she approached nearer, her peculiar features, scanty covering, and movements betrayed Orang source and association. Yet there was apparently a nearer kindred alliance to the Caucasian race. Becoming alarmed, she sprang upward and caught with her right hand the limb of a teconia tree, and, as she hung suspended, gazed intently along the wooded border of the valley. Then suddenly changing hands in her grasp on the limb, in movement as though she had canght sight of an unwelcome object, she gave the startled cry of "Maa," in prolonged accent like that of the kid. In a few moments she was joined by another woman, who appeared to be her mother, but with a face of unmistakable European cast. With excited curiosity and a hunter's cunning, he gained a nearer view, and noted that the mother's face was marked with a scar that reached from the temple to the angle of the mouth.
This reminded him of the boyra's encounter with the half-breed, and he felt assured that the mother represented the Darwing child, which had been rescued and held in association by the Orang , and he was impressed with the unpleasant conviction that one of the species shared with her the parentage of the daughter.
The distant boom of an Orang's voice confirmed his suggestion of paternity from the effect it produced upon mother and daughter, which in similitude was not confined to the grade of her alliance. As the approaching sound of the voice became more distinct and disagreeable in its harshness, they swung themselves from branch to limb with a peculiar impetus and measured certainty of grasp that, with its accomplished ease in freedom from labored effort, quite surprised him with involuntary admiration.
Gaining a large teconia tree they disappeared among its branches; a nearer inspection of it discovered a large booth covered in from the topmost branches enclosing the trunk. The hunter's curiosity was checked by the Badda forester, who pointed to the waving jar of the tree tops but a few hundred yards distant; this warning was sufficient to hasten their retreat.
Ascending a wooded hillock they obtained a full view of the chang as it crossed a brook that flowed into the valley. It numbered sixty adult orangs of mixed species, and a sportive representative band of youths of both sexes, who seemed to take special delight in delaying the homeward progress of their parents, each party showing an intimate knowledge of their human cousins disentailed traits of disobedience and style of correction. Immediately on his return to the Holm (the estate had been named Leslie Holm after its purchase by my great grandfather) he related his discovery, and a council was held to devise means to recover the human representative of the chang. The boyra of the Darwing children, who had, as a native born on the estate, received and accepted an invitation to become a member of the Leslie family, from a knowledge of the orangs' habits, recommended that the melon garden should be again cultivated to encourage their return. For, with reason, she urged, that any attempt to separate the human members from their alliance with the chang, by force, would send them back to their retreat, which had never yet been discovered, so that the object they had in view would be defeated. She then reminded my grandfather of the Badda orangs -- so called from the hybrid cast derived principally from the characteristics of their union -- which his father had aided in an attempt to exterminate before the loss of his child. These and the Kubu orang had always been enemies, and knew each other's haunts, so that by conciliating the instincts of the higher class the remnant of the Badda troglodytes could be discovered. During the first years of the Vondermaidens' reign over Saar Soong these hybrid orang Baddas were preferred above their more savage relatives of more distant genealogy, for they possessed in a small way an idea of mechanical construction, inclining to the tinkering disposition that distinguishes the gipsies of the past and present day. But, as with their present type, the labor was not one of love, the vocation having evidently been adopted as a means of obtaining knowledge for successful depredations and duping their employers. One of their most dangerous acquirements was the art of throwing, or rather slinging stones from the hand, which they accomplished with such force and precision that, within range, they were as deadly in effect as the musket bullet. Some time before my grandparents' visit they had been in the habit of wandering over the island in detached parties, and had obtained, in a rude way, a knowledge of fermenting and distilling ardent spirits. From this period they became dangerous and disgusting neighbors, and on the occasion referred to by the boyra, they had actually laid seige to the fortified stronghold, and, although despised and ridiculed at first, they soon taught the besieged a lesson that forced them to respect their own lives in withholding their bodies from exposure. Their dispersion was accomplished finally by stratagem and with great slaughter, which was continued until my grandfather, who conducted the defense, discovered some pitiable evidences of affection manifested by the troglydite women, when he stopped the carnage. The incident that excited his emotions of pity was the sight of a woman, in a quadrupedal position, bearing off her wounded lord upon her back, whose love of life still retained sufficient affection for his spouse, to hold himself upon her body without impeding her movements. The other women, although they apparently understood the cause of their lives being spared, hesitated in following her example, with the evident fear of establishing a precedent for vehicular transportation that their burdens might, upon a future occasion, after their recovery, enforce for their pleasure. When the field of slaughter was rid of its surviving incumbents, the question arose whether it would be better to bury or burn the dead?
The "fanatic" Hindoos advocated burning, that the carcasses might not be more destructive dead than living; but the Scotch steward carried the day by urging, with foresight, the interest that would accrue to the estate at some future period of time from their burial. "To be sure," he said, "the soil does na want the heelp of nourishment just at the present time, but that is na reason that we should throw God's special bounte awa', but rather with the text, without reference to meeself, place it at interest against a day of need, when the fruitfulness of the soil becomes exhausted." He further supported his position by quoting authorities who advocated the productive advantages derived from battlefields.
"As for the dragons' teeth of the Hindoo's fables, they were na doubt allegorical warnings, which arose from a neglect of precautions to prevent the emanations of decomposition from rising above the surface; but the estate was large enough to select a place of burial safe from exposure." An opposing sectarian reminded him of the buried talent. "You observe, General Leslie, what reading will do without a discriminating understanding? In the parable referred to, the talent was gold, and could not gain by burial, but only by man's usorious selfishness which it encourages; but here we have mankind's material legacy for impartial distribution in fruitful returns to replenish the waste of reproduction. To my mind it would be a sin to controvert this wise intention, when a modicum of lime will prevent exhalation and add interest to the investment."
The inducements offered by McSawney's method of utilizing reservation were so unselfish in their provisionary extension, aside from the sarcasm conveyed, that he was allowed the privilege of selecting the place of interment and superintending the obsequies. He chose a deep dingle, remote from the cultivated portions of the plateau, in which were a collection of old indigo tanks that had been long out of use; yet, on commencing to excavate after the planks were removed, the stench was so strong from the disturbed earth, which had been saturated with the foul drain of the putrefactive decomposition of the indigo plant, that relays of workmen were required to accomplish the undertaking. The planks had been laid with the seeming intention of giving the widest scope to the caulker's craft, and the constant leakage of the decoction had, from the earth's evaporation, left a chrystalline deposit upon the hard clay pan beneath, of upwards of two tons weight of pure indigo, and by the removal of all the tanks the trove amounted to fifteen tons. The superstitiously elated explorers attributed the discovery to the direction of a special providence in favor of McSawney, and inhumation, and he was afterwards obeyed with reverential alacrity. One of the priests of the still had been the first killed upon the walls, by exposing himself in drunken bravado to the missile- stones of the assailants, to shame, as he said, the cautious cowardice of the Scotsman, who had often expostulated with him upon the bad example of his habits of intemperance. The steward interred his remains with those of the troglodytes. He said that living they had been wicked to themselves and bad for the estate, but with their resurrection they would with renewed goodness compensate for the evil they had done. Having been bred a grave-stone artist, he sculptured on a slab of marble the figure of a drunken man and his troglodyte counterpart, and underneath, the epitaph,
Engraved above you'll see the troglodyte,This memorial monument, attesting to their virtues, he erected upon the mound as a hint for the improvement of future generations.
And in groveling kind, the drunken wight,
Now dig below, and see if you can find,
In sottish mould, opposing traits of mild.
With this introduction to the hybrid Badda Orang, I will now describe the visit of my grandfather and boyra to the martruvo of the returned Kubu Orangs. Starting at an early hour that they might reach the ghaut while the males were abroad in search of food, they crossed the valley and gained the narrow plateau within its skirting range of foothills, which would allow them to approach the boskies (tree booths) without fear of being discovered by the occupants.
"Our plans proved successful." (I copy the record of my grandfather. ) "We found the mother surrounded with tadpole children which appeared to represent, with orang admixture, all the races of the island inhabitants, both foreign and native. The children were in gleeful humor, swinging and springing from the tree branches to the ground, in pursuit of each other, with true germ-man agility, seemingly, in the even tenor of their enjoyment, free from the quarrelsome spirit of their civilized cousins. As there was such an attractive spirit of fun in their frolicsome pranks, our own mirthful sympathy was fully enlisted, so that we, for a moment, forgot the object of our visit. The boyra seemed to be enchanted with the sports of the orang fauns, bestowing upon them a gaze of worshipful admiration, which reminded me that she came from a race of monkey devotees, who, like the Hindu Poleahs, believed that they represented mankind in their happy state before the period of degeneration. When I called her attention to the elder female's scared face, she recognized it with a look of affection and outspread arms, but checked her impulsive intention to spring forward and clasp her in embrace, as her long-lost foster-child, with the evident impression that the gratification of her affection would prove sacrilegious, as she was under sacred protection. The restraint that she placed upon her affectionate emotions gave me an opportunity to judge whether the mother's adoption by the orang had in reality been as deplorable as the refined instincts of our civilized humanity had imagined. After her boothy arrangements had been completed, she joined the younger brood in their playful jousts, and exhibited a gymnastic sprightliness, and accuracy of judgment, in the measures of her powers of propulsion and distance that excited our wondering admiration, and with our closest scrutiny we could not detect the shadow of a reflected sorrow. Her countenance, when composed, was still attractive, but when excited with the amusing freaks of the playful chase, the grimaced corrugations that expressed a risible inclination, gave to her face a painful appearance of constraint. These emotional effects of muscular correspondents were undoubtedly the characteristic results of apish association. The sudden cessation of the frolicsome amusement warned us that the male Kubus were near at hand and in a few minutes one of the patriarchs of the chang, with a few followers, swung themselves into the glade. The elder held himself suspended from a limb for a few moments with his right hand while he surveyed the urchin fauns with a suspicious frown. But never was demure innocence better displayed by the schooled specimens of enlightened humanity than these youthful scions of hybrid birth exhibited, as they hung suspended from the limbs of trees, like so many young Adams of Eden ready for a fall from the reproving voice of their lord. Seemingly satisfied with his scrutiny that nothing was amiss, he uttered a zetzoon (low call); in answer, the Darwing matron swung herself down from the bosky with an infant in a net, suspended from her shoulder obliquely across her breast. When the elder had seated himself on the ground, in a half-oriental position, she presented the child to him for inspection. After an exchange of grimaces of an explanatory nature, he examined the child, which was evidently sick. His style of procedure was so grotesquely ludicrous in its burlesque imitation of our physicians' method, we were obliged to have recourse to our handkerchiefs to suppress our laughter. Having prognosed and diagnosed the condition of the infant, he gave an approving nod, and commenced unloading his provisionary mouth pouches of their stores of food, in a plantain leaf, for their regalement, and then left with his followers in the direction from whence they came. The children, after their departure, recommenced their sportive entertainment, and the mother was joined by another female older than herself. In order to attract their attention, without alarming them with the sudden exposure of our persons, the boyra commenced singing a simple air to the accompaniment of her gourd-gee (Malay calabash guitar), with which she had been in the habit of soothing Emily the eldest. They listened, then advanced timidly, but halted when they saw the boyra approach them, and rubbed their eyes as if to revive their recollection, and catch from memory the source of attraction. When she prouounced the name of Emily, with the endearing expressions once so familiar, with a cry of relief, and a struggle for articulation, she called the name of the boyra, and with the apparent remembrance of her former resting-place, sprang forward, and was received in her arms. For some minutes neither moved from their position, but the boyra's tears were showered plentifully on the head of her foster child. When at length they stood apart, with their hands joined, Emily, after a few moments' struggle as if endeavoriug to recall the power of giving vocalized utterances to her thoughts, pronounced "Lulia ete!" (Lulia dear), with the shadow of a smile, which seemed to flit beneath a grimace, with a joyful tremor of surprised recollection. The boyra, with the impulsively fond affection of her Hindu birthright, tinged with reverence for the favor her loved foster-child had found with the race of the blest, prostrated herself before her, and exclaimed with fervor, 'Now that I have known this great joy let me die!' But when Emily was in the act of stooping to raise the nurse there came a harsh volley of gibberish from the grove, which we recognized as the signal of a raid used by our old foes the Badda Orangs; and the Kubu children, who had looked with curious wonder on the scene enacted between the elder matron and boyra, now clustered around them for protection. Fortunately we had come armed, and were accompanied by the head forester and the dogs, who were well acquainted with the habits of the Orangs. But ready and quick as they were to act, a numher of formidable Orangs had already seized some of the smallest children, and were bearing them away to the forest of the Ghaut with kangaroo leaps, when I arrested the first with a bullet and as he fell the others dropped the children they carried, and redoubled their speed to gain the shelter of the wood, with the dogs in hot pursuit. As their habits of intemperance had rendered them imbecile in activity, they had become degraded in capacity for enacting both the role of men and Orangs, and had assumed a gait and carriage that alternated between the bipedal, marsupial, quadrumanal, and quadrupedal; but of necessity were laggards in each; so that pursued they were subject to the mercy of the pursuer. The dogs soon overtook them, and held them at bay, while the hunter and his aids adjudged the sentence of their guilt with the pleadings of a Pedang lawyer -- a specie of tough bamboo, with the longitudinal fibres webbed in, and covered with a vegetable enamel bark, which adds to its strength and durability. It grows to perfection in the neighborhood of Pedang, and is used in the sam-pac, or foot bastinado of criminals. Our prompt rescue of the children, and punishment of the would-be abductors, caused them to acknowledge with timid trustfulness the necessity and their desire for our protection. We left them in charge of the sub-forester and dogs, with the determination to commence on the morrow the recultivation of the banana and plantain patch for their support. The following day, with a large Badda volunteer force, and all that could be spared from our household, we engaged in restoring and replanting the banana and melon patches; in addition, having obtained from the American provinces a supply of Indian corn, of the sweet ear species, an extensive field was seeded with it for the mutual benefit of all the residents. The busy scene was watched with an appreciative interest by the old Orangs, and by the young ones as a source of exciting amusement, in which they seemed inclined to join."
"With the ripening of the crops the long- tailed Gibbons Orangs returned to receive their tribute as the original possessors of the island. But before they were sufficiently ripe to be really serviceable for food the gardeners found that in a night descent nearly an acre of vines had been destroyed, and the tasted unripe fruit scattered in every direction; and the cockneys report that 'they had made a hawful mess of it,' was fully verified. The doctor undertook their correction by charging the fruit nearest their martruvo with algaroth (tartar emetic of the period), of which the juice of the melon is an excellent solvent. The wasteful tasting had scarcely commenced on the second night, when it was arrested by the remedy with violent and painful retchings, symptoms quite new to their germ-man experience, which caused them to betake themselves in woful plight to the limbs of the trees skirting the patch, where all, who were able to retain their hold, were found in the morning, for their stomachs, unused to the epicure's regurgitating source of relief, the nauseating effect was continued longer, and with an evident increase in severity, while their grimaces exceeded in grotesque expression the novice sea-voyager's sympathetic apprenticeship to the rolling sway of the ocean's undulations. As an evidence of the scene's ludicrous nature, my wife with pity for their sufferings, chided the doctor for causing it, while her eyes were flooded with tears and her utterance choked with the rising throes of suppressed laughter. Toward night they began to recover so that they were able to reach their martruvo. Two days passed before they reappeared, and we began to surmise that the remedy for their wastefulness had cured their taste for water-melons altogether; but on the third day they returned and swung themselves from tree to tree of the forest border, casting their eyes with hungry longings towards the tempting fruit which had been selected and transplanted with the vines near their tree promenade. After their forbearance had been well tested, the doctor, with great ceremony, proceeded to examine the melons with a looking glass, reflecting each, and occasionally throwing a dazzling gleam across their expectant eyes, causing them to blink with its brightness."
"With faculties rendered keen by their depleting fast, they quickly understood the intention of his finger and pencil, as he numbered each, when a corresponding melon was added to the heap, for they all came swinging forward to the front to attract his attention. When the ritualistic ceremonv had been made sufficiently impressive; and their longing impatience had become as manifest as that of schoolboys under the infliction of a long blessing pronounced upon food prepared for dinner; the servants cut the melons in slices and distributed them. The improvement in style they seemed to appreciate, also a hint for the correction of their uncleanly negligence in dropping the rinds beneath them was given, and followed with willing submission to exampled direction. The females, with inherent modesty; natural to the sex, in a primitive state of simplicity; would have fared poorly if Mrs. Leslie and her attendants had not supplied their wants; for the males of the distal and proximal extremes of humanity are alike predisposed to the gratification of self-indulgence when not overawed with the presence of caste superiors; weakness, want, and suffering serving, in the lack of sympathy, as a zest to appetite, pride, and arrogance. The preparatory course of algaroth had assured the fulfillment of the banqueting toast, 'that good digestion would wait on appetite.' When a melon allowance to each had been dispatched to the stomach bourne, they looked wistfully to the doctor, as the judge and source of supplies, for more! After a careful inspection, with the mirror's aid, of their stomach's distention, to which they quietly submitted with an anxious expression of hopeful expectation; the doctor nodded, and an additional half melon was allowed to each. Then, with a dessert ration of sweet Indian corn, the germ- men's first lesson in the natural art of temperate eating was concluded. After a few minutes' lingering hesitation, they, with reluctant satisfaction, felt that they had received all that was to be given them for the day, and regretfully swung themselves away; the jar of their hands' limb-catch causing a dirge-like sound from the bowels in requiem for departed joys. With this politic prelude, in the ritualistic style; faith in the efficacy of the doctor's wisdom was established with the Gibbous; who were the reverenced exemplars of the Kubu and Badda Orangs, and all changes made thereafter, with his approving nod, were held sacred by them as revealed dispensations of their lord and master, to his chosen tribe.
"The First Foundling of Orang and Darwing Extraction entrusted to my parents' care was a girl, which was left at our door in a fern basket rudely constructed in imitation of a cradle designed for suspension. Its bed and covering was composed of golden moss, matted and rendered compact by fibres with which it was interwoven and quilted. This bequest was made in the thirty-ninth year of our residence at the Holm. It did not require a second glance to discover its ties of relationship, for its lank tendinous extremities declared the source of their birthright. But a trinket attached to its cradle was identified by the boyra as the one Emily had worn on the day of the massacre; which implied that she was its mother or grandmother. Like the Malabar-Hindu Aya, the boyra displayed the strength of her fond attachment as a foster mother by adopting with like fervor the offspring of her godchild, deformity in person, or imbecility, serving to strengthen the ties of affection; but in this instance its allied birth enlisted her reverential devotion in worshipful beatitude for the privilege confered; esteeming it a hopeful indication of her own redemption from her lost condition. The feelings of the family were keenly aroused in pity for its forlorn inheritance; but in fulfillment of the mother's confiding trust, gladly accepted the responsibility of the charge, with the firm resolve to bestow upon it every thoughtful precaution to redeem it, if possible, from the hereditary taint of its paternity. Through the boyra's influence the child received from the servants more attention than our own children, the doctor and tutor making its progressive development their sppcial study. An army chaplain, visiting the estate, for his health; after due consideration of all the circumstances; thought the child entitled to at least the half of an unconverted soul; and offered to take the responsibility of christening and baptizing it according to the established rites of the church of England; upon the supposition that the marriage had been solemnized by the Orang Kaya form; which he had learned embraced in title the highest nobility and religious caste of the Malays. But the boyra claimed that the sacred origin of the child would be profaned by the administration of rites adopted by a degenerate race; whose first parents had fallen from grace, and as a punishment had been obliged to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling as drudges of the earth, As the chaplain was a scion of nobility, and of strict high church principles, who had volunteered his service to the East India Company's armies, to gain experience in the art of saving souls; his method had become somewhat arbitrary: and the boyra's objection to his proffered condescension to save and seal the child's fraction of a soul, aroused his indignation; causing him to denounce the Indian races as beasts, and totally incapable of appreciating the sacrifices made in their behalf by the Christian missionary. It required the utmost stretch Mrs. Leslie's powers of persuasion to induce him to forgive the boyra's reverential intolerance; and allow her the privilege of bestowing upon the child, without ceremony, the name of Emily. He consoled himself for the lack of deferential consideration paid to the vestment dignity of the cloth by observing, that the thing would have been hardly regular, at any rate, without a registered certiticate of its parents' marriage; and might have bothered him with a reprimand, and a demand for a written defense of the innovation he had presumed to sanction, But as you had offered to become sponsers I was willing to enter her for the baptismal cup, and give her a fair start for the run of life, that her prospects might not be balked."
"As the child Emily increase in years and size, a human modification of her supposed paternal peculiarities became manifest, which, although pleasing to us, was deprecated by the boyra as a departure from the happy estate entailed from her forefathers. Still the length and sinuosity of her limbs -- diffuse growth of hair -- inclination of the nose to blend with the chin's protuberence -- and graceful curve of the spinal continuation, were more suggestive in contemplation than beautiful to our abridged conceptions of natural grace, which ill curtail, from sin, had reduced our race to eke out with artificial subterfuge, an imaginary memorial means of future salvation from the adjudged penalty of labor. In her habits she was sportive and frolicsome with a genial inclination to familiarity; which, in the supply of her wants, indicated an indifference to our artificial rights, and special claims to personal property; that fully sustained the boyra's reverential respect for her paternal antecedents who had lived in joyous freedom from labor and its penitential sweat of the brow. Her tenacity of hold upon transferable objects, and upon permanent ones, beyond our reach, to escape reprisal, fully sustained the boyra's ideas in support of her claims to an exalted lineage above the aspirations of our race. For the quick despatch of her marriage romance, we will state that her amusing qualifications attracted our knight of the pestle, whose habitual thirst caused us to prefer another to his place, and on the consummation of their union he was established upon a grazing range opening upon the pass leading to our eastern entrepot. They in an especial manner fulfilled the injunction given to her paternal ancestors in the garden of Eden, and if their multiplied re-productions caused like destructive havoc among its fruit-trees, as hers did with those of the Holm, there is but little cause for wonder that their lord and master expelled them from their boundaries, and caused them to gain with the labored sweat of their brows a livelihood."
"Nine years after the singular advent of our first hybrid waif, the servants of the Holm in carrying the daily rations of melons, corn and bananas to the Gibbons' rendezvous, heard the wailing of a female yoice that did not sound like the orang zetzoon; following its direction they saw a female spring from the ground to the branches of a teconia tree, and disappear among its foliage. Beneath the tree they found the body of a venerable presbyter, or preaching Gibbons orang, who had probably died from over-distention of the stomach with fruit, for he lay within a rampart of corn husks and rinds of melons and bananas."
"In contrast with his emormously distended stomach, the limbs of his body were extremely attenuated, plainly indicating his recent arrival and ignorance of our established customs; for those who had come in with the melon season were in excellent condition, their paunches scarcely receeding, under our dietetic limitations, the aldermanic curve of beauty."
"The servants were perplexed with the discovery, and questioned among themselves whether the body was entitled to the rites of christian burial? To resolve their doubts they sent for me. The occasion was opportune for an inductive illustration of the absurdities of sectarian prejudice, and the fact that bigotry, fanaticism and intolerance were the essential components of partisan religion, and that the real elemeuts of joy resided in the power of self-communion aud control in thoughtful meditation for the associate happiness of others, as a like inducement for reciprocation. We had often felt from our isolated position and the savage element with which we were surrounded, the great necessity of household union, as an example for perfecting the confidence reposed in our protective influence by their dull perceptions."
"The servants of the Holm had been purposely selected from all available nationalities; that, in the diversity of habits, customs, and religious rites, each might be impressed with opposing absurdities and their ridiculous tendencies, as an incitement to mirth, for the prevention of factious discord. In our home establishment we numbered two hundred and thirty adult individuals, and with the exception of a few duplicates, each represented an opposing sect. My experimental intention had been disagreeably disappointed; for I had hoped to find diversion and a source of deductive instruction in reconciling their prejudices for happy association. But the excitement caused by their polemical dissensions and quarrels, had frequently required my interference to prevent them from settling their arguments at close quarters. When I received the summons I requested the attendance of all the members of the household and plantation within call, both male and female, at the orang refectory."
"On our arrival at the place where the deceased lay, I assisted in his removal to the margin of the forest, where both branches of his relatives were engaged in disposing of their morning repast. That finished, they became spectators; and were to all appearance deeply interested in my proceedings. From the diversified grades of humanity assembled I selected twelve representatives to act as a coroner's jury to investigate the cause of death, then delivered to them the formulistic charge of the civilized functionary. In closing, I impressed upon them the importance of using their best judgment in arriving at the cause of death, that there might be no suspicion of foul play harbored by his relatives. At first, the Europeans were disposed to look upon the proceedings in the light of a farce, but my serious charge dispelled the idea."
"Under the foreman's direction they measured his feet and hands, in accordance with the regulations of corono-medical jurisprudence practiced by civilized humanity for comparison with the imprint in the soil. After identifying their impression, a like process rendered his teeth accountable for the contents of the rinds. Then the jury proceeded to adjust the quantity of fruit that could be eaten without causing derangement and distress to the digestive organs. Finally, they questioned his previous condition, in adaptation for the disposal of fruit. Then the chief cook, who acted as foreman, rendered the verdict: 'That he came to his death from eating too much of a mixture without cooking upon an empty stomach!' In preparing for his burial, I expressed a wish that all possible respect should be paid to the remains of the departed, as I considered myself his feofee or tenant -- in jointure with his surviving relatives -- not only as a matter of policy, but that the widowed relict -- a sobbing zetzoon from the thick foliage of the overshadowing teconia tree had given me a hint of who she might be -- should not think that her mesalliance had rendered her an outcast and an exile from compassion and pity, as there were thousands upon thousands in our civilized cities who were condemned by society to multifarious associations infinitely more brutal and debasing. The butler, impressed with my serious bearing ventured to suggest that he thought there could be no possible objection to reading the funeral service over him, as he might have been converted to the Methodist way by camping out with his wife; 'unless, James the groom, who is a dissenter, and little better, chooses to read their service for the dead, if they have one!' This double sectarian innuendo of spite -- for they were rival lovers -- was turned aside by the Irish kitchen gardener, who said that the deceased, who was dead and wished to be buried, was a very fine native gentleman of his kind, but as there was no priest on the estate, a Christian burial was not to be had for the asking. The French cook admitted, that in France the negro was recognized as a religious citizen, entitled to the rites of communion and distant Christian fellowship; and could be educated to be useful, and thought the Sumatrians should have the same chance. But as the dead one was a fruit and seed eater, of the same caste with the Hindoos, they ought to be allowed to dispose of him in their own way. Others, including the female representatives, stood apart enwrapped in a curious mood of amazement, too much puzzled with my serious bearing to command their own thoughts. Having fixed their attention, I admonished them that our own bodies were in no respect better, living or dead, than the mass of flesh and bone we were about to bury. But that we were endowed with affections which, if cultivated independently of the body, while living, for associate reciprocation, they would increase for a complete realization that they were a creative endowment bestowed for cultivation, in preparation for the harvest garner of immortality."
"You have," I continued, "expressed yourselves affectionately grateful to us for the interest we have taken in your welfare. From henceforth allow us the grateful privilege of reciprocating your love with the knowledge that in united affection you represent one body, in freedom from selfishness, the sectarian source of unhappiness.' As if in sanction of my petition, there came, from far up among the deeply foliaged branches of the teconia, a souffled moan, that brought forth from the eyes of the female servants glistening tears; with the sudden blanch of pitying sympathy that bespeaks the surprise of emotions above the reach of animal gratification. Startled with the tearful sanction from the kindlier emotions I had invoked, it required a strong effort for me to proceed with my admonitory discourse."
"But observing in the expression of their faces -- for the eyes of the men were not altogether free from sympathetic moisture - a desire that I should continue, I urged that they should judge each other from the exampled evidences of unselfish affection, and forever banish from their thoughts the words pagan, christian and infidel, as they had given birth to bigotry, fanaticism, and intolerance; and they, in sequence, to detraction, hate and revenge."
"For your own happiness and ours, I hope that you will never, from this day, make use of bitter and taunting wonts of self-exaltation, as they are a sounding provocation for evil meditation. Be open, honest, and free in your associations; as clans, clubs, and societies beget an exclusive spirit of selfishness, which alike detracts from your own and others' happiness. Above all, recollect that the use of ardent spirits, tobacco, bang, and opium stimulate the cravings of habit for their excessive use, beyond the reach of control; and as they are debasing and deadly poisons, which at first are repugnant to the cravings of appetite, their indulgence is far more beastly than that of the deceased, whose hunger was an excuse for his gluttonous imprudence. Of the two you are the most guilty, in knowing the injury you are inflicting upon yourselves and others. Now, as there is one who has watched our proceedings, and has probably retained in memory an instinctive affection for this relict, with whom she was forced to associate from the sad effects of ardent spirits; we will, for her sake, bestow upon the body such marks of kindly attention as she will be capable of understanding. For he is, of himself, more deserving, in being born a brute, than those of our race, who, with the privilege of achieving immortality, choose to reduce themselves to a worse condition by drunkeness and gluttony. That our kindly intention may not interfere through ignorance with the sepulchral rites of his species, we will gather ferns and the choicest flowers, and cover the body as it lies here in state; so, that with the traditional comprehension attributed to their ancestral relatives, the wood fauns -- the satyr-germ-men of Greece -- the act will be taken as a ceremonial token to grace the deceased's re-union with his mother, earth."
"Never had I seen my 'servant' companions unite with such manifest evidences of joyful alacrity as in the labor tribute proposed at the close of my exordic admonition! While gathering flowers in the forest glades -- Irish and Hiudoos, the most fanatical of our employees -- seemed to forget their former acts of scornful despite and court each the other's companionship. The females, also, forgetting the shade distinctions of color, exchanged lip service without the slightest show of their former repugnance; the affection of the morning's manifestation proving in after association the sincerity of the impression. As each contributor brought in his or her collections, the bier of branches which I had wattled together with osiers was decked by a Choontoo maiden who had been brought from the Thibetstana range of the Himalaya by my wife, where she had from childhood been accustomed to note the habits of the Orang Gibbons of that region. When the bier was fully prepared for the body, it was removed from the debris of husks and carefully placed thereon. The Gibbons, with here and there a Kubu, having hung in attentive clusters from the branches of the surrounding trees. the obsequies only lacked the sombre accompaniments of a London undertaker's paraphernalia, to render the primitive simplicity of the scene, a civilized burlesque upon solemnity. Considerable difficulty was encountered in straightening and composing the limbs, from their cramped contractions induced by the expiring agonies of indigestive colic. When finally reduced to the orthodox position required for burial, the enormous distention of the stomach was fully exposed, equalling in prominence aldermanic proportions, or those of a church dignitary in the enjoyment of the highest plurality of beneficed livings ever bestowed by favor upon a single incumbent of England's ecclesiastical aristocracy. It required a determined effort of the will to suppress the rising tendency of emotions foreign to those of sedate meditation; but the misfortunes of one, and the presence of curious kindred spectators prevailed. When our floral tribute was completed we returned to the Holm, leaving the body to the care of the living members of its species. Arraigned by my wife, when alone, for having deprived the house of its servants when most needed, I related to her the events of the morning, and received as my reward the salutation, 'You delightful old humbug!' preluded and sanctioned with kisses, and the addenda, 'Who would want neighbors with you about? I knew that you were up to some of your wise pranks!' She afterwards referred to the funerat obsequies of Emily's supposed brother-in-law as a happy household epoch, which had served to transform the servants from fighting and quarreling drudges into companions, capable of understanding and reciprocating affectionate trust, receiving in return our confidence, without taking unkind advantage of our good will.
"Just after the break of day of the twelfth morning succeeding that of the orang obsequies, my personal attendant knocked at my chamber door, and asked me to step out upon the verandah. 'What now, Aleer,' I questioned; 'a tiger?' 'No, sahib master,' he replied, 'wild woman with monkey child; wish to leave, no let me take; want to see you.' Opening the door, I saw that Aleer's usually sage face was lighted with a humorous glow that indicated something unusual."
"Hastily dressing myself, I went out, and as I stepped from the door a yetsoome (cry of a young orang) wail directed me to a moss basket, in which I found the child, and at the distance of a few yards, under the nearest of our avenue marsang trees, the mother was seated in a squatting position, awaiting my appearance. At my approach she exhibited strong emotions of pleasure, which she tried to express in words, but her tongue refused its office for the interpretation of her wishes. Seeing by my perplexity that her articulate sounds were not understood, she then by pantomimic signs of endearment pointed to the child in the basket of moss, and then approached caressingly, and when near placed her hands upon her eyes, as if to repress her tears; finally in giving expression to her reluctance in leaving it, she uttered real sobs of grief. With words and impulsive tokens expressive of my desire, I urged her to remain with her child."
"Counting upon her fingers, three, and measuring with her hand from the basket, with periods, to give me an impression of height and age, she pointed in the direction of the eastern ghaut; then retreating she sprang upward and caught with her right band the lowest branch of the tree, and mimicked the gathering of fruit and the action of casting it to the children on the ground. Then pointing to her infant, she folded her left arm across her breast, showing that, with it, she could not provide for the others in her widowed state."
"In answer to my pantomimic invitation to bring them with her into the house, she pointed to the room of my wife and the nursery; then to the fern leaves which she had evidently woven into a skirt in preparation for the visit; again repeating the stature measurement of the children she retained, shook her head sadly, in token that they were too old to adapt themselves to house confinement and dress. Her modest consideration of civilized proprieties, habits, and customs, with self abnegation; as being adverse to those of her children, iustead of abating my desire to establish her rescioned species upon a civilized standpoint, for a more successful and happy re- germ-man impression, it increased it, so that I became quite earnest in my word and pantomimic expostulation. As if fearing that I had not fully comprehended the reason why she had parted with her infant -- perhaps thinking that I might attribute the cause to a lack of maternal affection -- she placed a bunch of grass hastily twisted to represent a child, upon her hip, in imitation of the method of bearing their children while in swinging progression from branch to branch of the trees. Then with intentional miscalculation dropped to the ground short of her intended grasp of the limb in advance, intimating that from weakness she was unable to bear the additional weight. She then placed the representative child with two others of like mold beneath the tree, and commenced an imaginary search for fruit, the while holding them in view with anxious watchfulness, and listening as if to catch the sound of approaching danger in time to conceal them. Suddenly her gaze became transfixed, as if an object of terror had been discovered in ambush, and with a moaning, muffled shriek she dropped to the ground, and began a frantic struggle as if for the protection of her children from a dreaded reptile or beast of prey. During this short enactment, her agony was so truthfully depicted, that I involuntarily started to aid in her rescue, with the sudden impression of remorseful regrets, in reproof for leaving her, with her brother and sister, to a fate so fearful in its exposure to the preying dangers of a jungle and forest life. She at once divined with a woman's quick instinct the impression her actions had wrought, and the source of my impulsive emotion; for she sprang to her feet with an impetuous start toward me, as if to accept my proffered protection; but suddenly stopped, as though arrested by thoughts of her condition, and uttering a piteous wail she crouched at my feet. Stooping to raise her, she drew quickly back from my reach, and with a longing look of tendernss, sprang to the limb and swung herself from branch to branch of the avenue trees with such a rapidity of motion and certainty of grasp, with the impetus for the calculation of varied distance, that admiration for the elasticity of her acquired ability slackened my steps as I pursued; but pity kept pace, as I used impulsive terms of endearment to recall her. When she had regained the tree shadows of the forest belt, she looked back; the fount of tears long closed to human sympathy had opened, blinding with their flow her eyes, which she tried to clear with her right band, but prompted to their emotional source, it fell to her breast, which she pressed to stay the throbbing throes of her heart. At the sight of a grief so deplorable, I approached to plead with her again, my own eyes contributing their meed to the pleading tones of my voice.'
"With a step toward me, in hand walk upon the limbs, she seemed to meditate
in doubt for a moment, her hand, as if in token of desire, moving toward
me, but in quick reversion, with a look of conscious shame, withdrew it;
then, with impulsive boldness, turning her face half aside, she beckoned
to my vest pocket, and placed the palm of her open hand before her face.
Words of designation would have failed to express with equal clearness
the full interpretation of her wish. After the doctor's introduction of
the mirror, as a dazzling ritual accompaniment for the restraint of orang
gluttony and wastefulness, we had all carried a small pocket one, to command
a like impression. In quick response to her petition, I placed mine in
her hand. She raised it to her face and perused the reflection with a prolonged
gaze of changing emotions, compounded of curiosity and admiration, and,
as she glanced at my face, by way of comparison, a gleam of pleased vanity
flitted like the phantom ghost of civilized impression from the eyes downward,
then, with a zetzoon sigh, she carefully bestowed it in the amulet bag
suspended from her neck. Its preservation assured, with the impetus of
a forward swing, she cast upon me a backward glance full in its expression
of grateful sorrow, and, while passing in reach for a forest catch, cast
loose her skirt of fern, and quickly disappeared from view. When all hope
of her return had passed, I retraced my steps to the house, questioning
my feelings of responsibility, to learn the extent of my culpability in
leaving the foundling scions for re-germ-man-a-tion with their orang antecedents.
My wife, who had witnessed a portion of the interiew, caused the child
during my absence to be taken to the nursery and dressed in the swaddling
clothes which had been used for our own children. In the wrapper of moss
an amulet was found, which the boyra recognized as the one worn by Letitia,
the eldest of the Darwing sisters, who was undoubtedly the child's grandmother.
It was a boy, and in personal appearance bore a characteristic resemblance
to the race of its paternal ancestor, and, as he increased in years, showed
a decided predilection for toys of gold and silver, and a strong disposition
to hold those of his associates in pawn. The skins of the adopted were
tanned to a brownish olive, bearing a strong resemblance in color to the
gipsy, or the 'tawno petulengro chabos,' as they term their bands. Their
garments of hair were soft and silky and by no means unpleasant to the
eye. In the nursery they adopted in progression all known gaits and especially
delighted in giving their associates gymnastic instruction in woodland
games, a knowledge of which seemed to have been derived from hereditary
intuition. In conformity with this predisposition their hands, in quadrumanal
estimation, were elongated, and those of the upper and lower extremities
were equally well formed for prehensile hold; and, with the grasping tenacity
of curiosity seemed to be constantly on the stretch. The ears were adapted
to catch sounds from every direction, and the eyes, in deferential relation
to other organs, had acquired a quick furtive glance, moving in concert
with the ears, like those of the antelope, ever on the alert to detect
and anticipate danger."
WILHELM SHAWTINBACH, ESQ.
My Dear Sir> : -- If after reading the abstract of my grandfather's record of events, which transpired in the settlement of Saar Soong, your curiosity or desire to investigate, for your own attestation, the relations which have been re-established with the progenitorial stock of humanity, should prompt you to visit my home. I herewith extend to you, and your follower, a most cordial invitation to accompany me. As I sincerely hope that you will accept my proffer, I shall make my arrangements at once for your accommodation by despatching a courier to inform my relatives in preparation for your welcome. In our journey thitherward it will please me if you will defer the topic of your attraction in conversation until after our arrival at the Holm. You will, without doubt, understand that my negative request is adressed especially to our companions. As your follower has undoubtedly taken umbrage from the emotions of surprise that I evinced when we were introduced, please offer him my sincere apologies with the plea of his resemblance to absent friends. If you can induce him to accompany you, he will add greatly to your ready appreciation of cause and effect in the study of natural history.
Before I read his narrative relation of the events which had transpired during the various stages, or transition epochs, which were inaugurated for the purpose of controlling savage instinct, and holding it amenable to honest reciprocation in association, I had relieved myself of the repugnance which theoretical humanity attaches to our simian relationship and origin by cultivating an intimate acquaintance with their habits and customs. For this purpose I had obtained specimens of the smaller types of the species peculiar to America, and an aboriginal ape from the Island of Java, whose native ferocity of disposition did not improve under the influence of the civilized example of my garden visitors. But familiarity with their forms and apish dispositions during my peripatetic meditations, served to remove from my mind the prejudices entertained by our species in disfavor of an hereditary alliance with theirs. With this inductive method of observation, and intercourse with an inferior type, I was prepared to realize in my travels the existence of higher grades, and to accept the Malaysian title of orang, not only as the most legitimate source of nobility, but the most honored in its derivation from the most remote vestiges of antiquity in worshipful authority and lineage. Yet I will acknowledge that the proofs which I have gained from actual investigation are so positive in revelation that my wonder has been surprised at the tardy recognition and adoption of the title as the highest and most aristocratic within the scope of possible attainment for bestowal in promotion of the merit of genealogical superiority. As Sumatra is the ancient Fortunati‘ Insel, I shall undoubtedly be able to obtain reliable information of its remote society grades, for the foundation of titles and orders to distinguish political, theological and scientifie aspirants with addenda honors; and in grateful remembrance of those which have been conferred on me, I shall ever bold my rights and privileges of discovery subject to your disposal. In earnest of my intention I shall dedicate my journalistic installments for your perusal and approval.
With permission. most respectfully yours,
On our arrival at the Embacadero of Saar Soong, we found the train waiting, and without stopping longer than was required to receive the affectionate congratulations bestowed upon Mr. Leslie and the doctor, we proceeded on our journey to the interior. While traversing the lowlands, over an exceedingly good road, Mr. Leslie kept his elephant abreast of ours, so that we could converse without much difficulty, from howdah to howdah. From time to time, as he noted improvements which had been made during his absence, he explained the plan which his parents had adopted to secure co-operative self-government, for the furtherance of unity in freedom from covetous desire, with an assured perpetuation from the happy fruits of honest reciprocation. On the approach of the train to the upland plantations, the occupants flocked from their houses to welcome the absentees home. The warmth of their attachment was manifested with such zestful tokens of joyful gladness that my own emotions were surprised with an accession of gratification, and my companions for the moment seemed to be startled with a new sensation foreign to his nature. When, in ascending the ghaut of the second range of bulwark foothills, of a higher elevation, we reached an inter-vale, the members of their own individual families met them, but held themselves aloof while their children received the welcome homage of the residents with an increase of happiness from the outflowing abundance of others to enrich and strengthen the ties of their own affection. At length the throng, abashed with their thoughtless selfishness, gave place for the expression of parental gladness. The quadrupeds also claimed the privilege of being recognized as members of the family by the ties of instinct. The elephant who had borne the Leslie family became impatient from the long delayed recognition of her young master, and, overreaching the group that surrounded him, seized his shoulder with her trunk and turned him about, and he, recognizing the cause, saluted her with the apology, "Well, Juno, I did not mean to neglect you. How have you been? No tantrums, I hope, while I have been absent. You must give up hysterics now that you have a child, for they indicate a bad and willful temper, and set a bad example; besides, our race claims the monopoly for their exhibition." When ready to continue their homeward progress, Loftus was about to remount to his seat in the howdah with the doctor, but Juno vetoed the movement, obliging him to occupy a seat in her howdah with his family. While observing these varied and wonderful evidences of attachment, which were so vividly retained in the memory of the brute species, I could not help uttering aloud the exclamation, "Well, I declare, here is a real demonstration of what I have longed to see, but have feared that I should die with the wish ungratified. If I could only have witnessed this trustful confidence in an abiding affection in my youth, the example would have added to my life a never-failing zest as an assurance of its immortal extension. They have received a noble recompense for the money and care they have bestowed, in the reverential affection returned by the representatives of so many diverse sects, and withal in like harmony with each other. How they have been able to accomplish this reconciliation of incompatibles, with the aristocratic pride they exhibit in intercourse, is beyond my present powers of comprehension; for there is nothing in the wide world that appears so repugnant to democratic equality as the ruling power of austerity. This new phase in life offers an extensive field for study, and if I can learn the secret, it will prove far more potent and reliable, for the control of the masses, than money! Even the elephant, under the direction of this power, shows an instinctive discernment nearly akin in manifestation to her sex of the humankind, for she questions his right to bestow attentions upon others to the neglect of his own family! The world, outside of Indian island extension, looks upon the elephant as a monstrous piece of property, that pays interest out of pocket; but if all were like this, they would prove invaluable to wives whose husbands were addicted to saloons, clubs, lodges, and night resorts in kind, begetting a tendency to household desertion."
At this stage of my soliloquy, Ran Avan, in the height of excitement, called my attention to a couple who were hastening from a bungalow, down a broad avenue planted on either side with the marsang species of trees. The man was on "foot," but the woman was far in advance, swinging herself from branch to limb by the force of projection, and in train was followed by a numerous progeny, chiefly composed of girls. The parents -- for they appeared to hold that relation -- were well advanced in years, but still buoyant and elastic in all their motions. A glance at the bungalow showed that it had been built, and then extended by additions, without regard to the original nucleus style of architecture; probably with the sole intention of affording accommodation for an increasing family.
From various portions of this curious edifice children continued to issue, until twenty-five or thirty heads were seen in motion following in the wake of the mother.
The elephants were halted by the mahouts, to allow the old couple to give their salutations of welcome to the returned travelers, and in a few minutes the younger members with romping agility covered the elephants of their patrons and acquaintances, but with coyness avoided the one that bore the howdah we occupied.
A whispered announcement from Mr. Leslie caused the old lady to give a zetzoon cry of joy, and but a second elapsed before Ran Avan's neck was embraced with the arms of a mother's fond affection, his sisters hanging in festoons from the neighboring bought and eaves of the howdah. The father, having caught a glimpse of his son's profile, exclaimed. "Arrah! an' be me faith, it's Patronimick, sure!"
Kan Avan, in the excitement of the moment, when his parents appeared in full view, had leaned so far out of the howdah that he lost his balance, and would have fallen to the ground if I had not caught him by the coat tail, and it was at this moment, when I was exerting my strength to restore him to his seat in the howdah, that his relationship was made known to his mother.
His position as he hung in suspension by that subtitute member brought his person into a favorable view for his mother's recognition. Eyen his younger sisters discovered the affinity of relationship from the unembarrassed native grace with which he retrieved his seat, from the accidental development of his latent hereditary predisposition for caudal suspension. The coincident attraction that caused his projection, and the providential means that secured a hold for his retrievement, was of a character to excite superstitious awe with the unthinking commonalty, who under the dictation of congregation leadership, would ascribe his preservation from a second fall to a guardian angel's protection, if my pious faith had been sufficient to sustain such an efficacious investment, with power for redeeming salvation. As with all mothers, when the first outburst of joy has been reduced, by the embrace of a loved object, to the tranquil impression of repossession, Jan Avan's swung herself gracefully out of the howdah, and hung suspended from the outer cornice, from thence regarding her son with a fond glance of critical survey, to balance the reality with the wished-for evidences of improvement. Her cherished expectations of his youthful promise revived by the view, with a cry of endearment she swung herself to his side, and patting his back with a gentle caress, exclaimed in an ecstacy of realized impression, "Yah hoo voo, Pat darling!" and again clasped him in her arms. There is probably no incident in life so moving, in accord with universal sympathy, as the unexpected meeting of a mother with her child after long years of separation; and from the glimpse it affords of a joy purified from the taint of sordid selfishness, in its perfection exceeds beyond conception the sum of the body's gratifications I have wondered how affectionate humanity could avoid the impression that it alone could offer, in cultivated extension, a realizing foretaste of immortality.
But the course of Kan Avan p‚re illustrates more truly the indifference of mankind to this elevated source of happiness. After his salutation of recognition he hastened back to the house to enjoy the stolen solace of a pipe, as its open use, and that of ardent spirits, had been declared by his daughters contrabnd, and opposed to household affection, as well as to comfort and decency. The combined effects of surprise and the sudden revelation of the cause of his dorsal emotions had rendered Kan Avan Jr. stupid for their realization as actual occurrences; and after having submitted to the caresses bestowed by his mother with a vacant stare, as if suddenly bereft of the power of self- identification, he scratched his head and rubbed his back, to recover from memory the evidences of his continued existence. These regained, from familiar sensations, his eyes appealed to me for an assurance that the scene was a real enactment; as he had regarded the doctor in the light of a magician, and Mr. Leslie as a second-sight seer, who had from
the beginning subjected him to their spells. To aid him in the recovery of his self-possession I asked him to favor me with an introduction to his mother and sisters, for I felt my position as a stranger embarrassing. A girl of twenty-seven or eight years of age, who appeared to be the oldest of his sisters present, addressed me with an apology in his behalf "What you request, sir, cannot be complied with on his part, unless it will serve for your content that he acknowledges us collectively as sisters, for he was but an infant when our father took him abroad; but as an individual introduction will avail him as well as you, I will act as the medium for our more extended personal acquaintance, if you will favor me with your name for our gratification?"
Having complied with her request, the sisters were introduced singly, by name, to their brother and myself. But in deference to their mother's fond yearnings for her first-born they confined the promptings of their curiosity to a distant view. Bridget, the eldest sister of those present, having an innate perception of the cause of her brother's mazed condition and her mother's absorbed devotion, asked me to regard the circumstances of the occasion as an excuse for any apparent lack of consideration on their part, as the surprise overbalanced the command of thought for the choice of greetings that should assure me of an affectionate welcome.
Then helping her brother to dismount she was about to wave her hard as a signal for the train to move on, when Patronimick, with his neck in the yoked embrace of his mother's arm, looked helplessly up to me from among his troop of sisters, and, with a piteous whine of alarm, addressed me in the following terms: "An' sure, Mr. Shawtinbach, it's not you that will be after leaving me in this predicament, when ye assured me of your protection at the start, as the confidant anxious expectations?" "But," I answered, "your expectations are more than realized, for you have not only found a home, with a mother's and sisters'abundant love, but a natural source of sympathy for emotions that from the unregenerated condition of my ancestors I am only able to appreciate in curtailed expression! However, the distance is not so great, but, in case of desperate emergency, you can avail yourself of my willing service, and, with permission, I will volunteer my desire to become better acquainted with the members of your newly-found family." Upon this hint, Bridget, with an apologetic blush. and an inwrought primitive smile, urged me to still afford her brother the benefit of my counsel until his nature should become reconciled to an association with his families peculiarities.
Then, with a partial salutation, Juno trumpeted an advance, and the train passed onward to commence the ascent of the second ghaut. But my curiosity was not proof to a backward look, while the avenue to the Kan Avan bungalow remained open my view, and the drawn curtains rendered my admiring gaze unobtrusive, Bridget detained her brother and mother, seemingly reluctant to expose discourteously her back to my retreating view; but at length, with a mid-tree glance. I saw her turn and while her sisters with gladsome glee sprang with hand reach from tree to tree, her train with gentle curve from the dust she raised, then upward turned, and as it disappeared my eyes still gazed through the vacant space, until my thoughts emotions wrought that in backward flow seemed to revive impressions of a pre-Adamic state. While in visioned mood I reveled in eden's garden with the gentle Bridget, plucking the choice fruit to plead with her taste for my love's gratification; depending from a tree -- too distant for our projectile power to reach -- in golden clusters from branches of the brightest green, grew kindred leaves of such shapely form and size, that of themselves they seemed a prize worthy to wreath my loved one's head, and from the sun's gaze shadow her eyes. But out from beneath these verdure crowns golden heads of fruit looked forth so brightly tinged with red that my charmer's lips could with them scarce compare. Then as we sat poised upon an embowered branch of a neighboring tree there came the zephyrs waft from the rustling leaves, and borne upon its wings an odor so rich in luscious aroma, that we became entranced with longing desire to realize from taste the united "virtues" of a flavor so enticing in its lure of hopeful gratification. But, to our measured glance, the space between did by far exceed the utmost limits of our bodies, motor power of flight, and the shaft below that up-bore the tempting lure, rose smooth and straight from root to bole which outward cast the foliaged branches, whose fruit had made us feel an inward pang of want beyond and above our reach. Sad and thoughtful in our baffled plight, we mused and questioned the cause that had placed in tempting view this luscious sight, with space between on every side to guard it from our reach aud taste. From this inquiet mood reason grew which made us more unhappy; still we longed and looked with hope, and never a glance backward deigned to cast all suspended joys which in oscillating contentment we had passed. To lessen my loved Bridget's desire and its pang assuage, with thought intention, suggestion prompted, that the fruit might prove sour or bitter if obtained But this doubtful plea only served to strengthen with curiosity her desire to taste the fruit, for what she questioned, with ingenious haste, was it adorned with beauty and odor if not to enhance with their zest its taste? When all our efforts failed to devise a plan to obtain and test the fruit in proof that faith and knowledge correspond, she sullen and fretful grew from hope deferred, and threw at me a spiteful glance, and with the same scorned the tree.
While her eyes were cast upon the tree, with baneful light, an apple serpent's tail in prehensile coil embraced the highest bough, above the branch that bore the fruit coveted by her glance.
Then, with outward swing and corrugation, he nearly spanned the space between the tree of knowledge and our lofty seat of green. With this movement, to attract our sight, he addressed Bridget with a lisping sibilation, and said, I have seen your longing tribulation and justly admire your wish to gratify with knowledge your desire. To aid you in this laudable undertaking, let your lover entail an upper branch as I have done, and then dependant within his grasp your prehensile caudal clasp, and as you hang give an outward throe, and I will swing to meet yon with an apple in my mouth, which you can seize, and at your leisure with its taste you will be with knowledge crowned. By Bridget urged, in suspension I held her caudal clasped, and, with the serpent, in outward swing she met and grasped the fruit of knowledge, -- then by its weigh we fell, and from our members parted, and the serpent hissed, "Tailless, in sin and wo, the fruits of labor you shall know."
At this moment the call of the mahout for the elephant to kneel and voices of welcome aroused me from my ludicrously-reveried vision, which was more remarkable from the fact that in style and train, as well as in expression, it was entirely foreign to my natural promptings of thought. If it had been a sleep vision or dream, the occurrences of the day would have been quite sufficient for an exciting cause; but the discipline of my mind, under waking control, was more inclined to serious thought in tracing from cause to effect an experience founded upon natural sequence. As the glad salutations of the household greeted me with equal frankness and warmth bestowed upon their long-absent relatives, my feelings of self-possession were soon restored.
LESLIE HOLM, and its immediate surroundings, impressed me with their singularly attractive beauties, and the corresponding taste displayed in cultivation was in keeping with nature's capital endowment. But for the day the household attractions allowed me but a glance abroad. All the residents had collected to welcome the travelers' return, but the exchange of greetings was free from exuberant and noisy demonstrations, yet there seemed to be a happy undercurrent of mingled joy that was imparted to me.
Our elephants had kneeled at the junction of the forest avenue with that of the plantation marsangs and their shaded fruit-trees. If my visioned reverie had not withheld me from an outward observance of changing scenes, my attention would have been gratified with the evolutions and progress of an escort which had attended the train from its first entrance into the valley of the Saar Soong. This was composed of delegations from the Orang Kubu and Badda changs, on one side, and the long and short-tailed Gibbons Orang on the other.
The doctor, Olu Babi -- grandfather to the returned traveler -- took me in charge on my descent from the howdah, and after an exchange of salutations with the assembled representative residents of varied cosmopolitan types, the elephant train proceeded up the avenue while we followed on foot. The scene to which I was suddenly introduced was one of startling novelty, and appeared to me, in vision train, as the transmitted product of my Eden alliance. In answer to my puzzled look of inquiry, Doctor Olu informed me that all strangers on entering the valleys were subject to certain impressions which seemed to be opposed in a remarkable way to their customary habits of thought. But after a time they became reconciled to the influence, and were able to derive from it happy instruction. "We have certain methodical habits and customs which we have tested and found in proof conservative, in greater or less degree, to our comfort and happiness. To make these resources more apparent in contrast to the opposing and delusive follies patronized by your progressive civilization, we present to our visitors in germ- maine enactment the length and breadth of the foundation upon which they have reared their theories of present and future happiness." At this moment, as if in illustration of what the doctor wished to convey -- and to my surprised dismay -- a flock of American green parrots settled upon the trees of the avenue overhead, and in strident shouts pitched in discordant keys, made the welkin resound with the salutation, "Welcome to M. Shawtinbach, hip, hip, hurrah! Now a tiger!" This last call was re-echoed with a prolonged screech, and the salutation was repeated intermixed with irrelevant word and sentence variations, such as we are accustomed to hear uttered from patriotic crowds on election days and public celebrations, when a prominent individual is present.
The impression was so ludicrous in its effect, and wonderful in its concerted adaptation and aptness, that I could not avoid a hearty response in laughter, but felt my face crimson with the realization of the intention conveyed by this educated prelude to my visit. The doctor, observing this emotional exhibition of sensitiveness, apologetically observed, "that I must not feel annoyed at anything likely to transpire during my stay at the Holm, because it, as in the present instance, was addressed personally, as the intention would ever be free from malice and solely devoted for the interest of practical demonstration. "In addition, he assured me that while I was a resident with them their welcome would extend to all my likings: with the confidence that, as a guest, I would respect all the real essentials which, under proof, they had established by example for the real advantage of the acknowledged dependents. In confirmation, he said he would offer me not only the right hand of fellowship, but of naturalization, and stopping, he, with the communion and masonic formalities of adoption, offered me his hand. This ceremonial salutation seemed to be taken as a signal by a venerable long-tailed Gibbons Orang, who dropped from his hand-hold on the limb of a neighboring tree, and approached me with a deferential gait, stooping from the erect as if with the wish to deprecate the superior dignity of his tail -- which curved gracefully above his head -- for an act of condescention from the privileges and immunities of their pre-historical condition before the fall of our first parents, which curtailed their joys and brought sin and death into the world as the penalty of transgression. With a nod to the doctor he offered me his hand, and allowed me to shake it as an assurance of welcome in behalf of his constituents. After he had he regained his hold upon the limb, the leader of the short-tailed chang dropped, advanced, and received the nod, proffered his left hand, which I shook to his satisfaction, and in turn the Kubu and Badda hybrid chiefs. Doctor Olu reminded me that I must observe the caste distinction in the order of presentation when the high or long-tailed representatives were present, by offering the short my left hand in token of illegitimate or sinful birth, the right being offered by the long-tailed as an act of concession or pardoning grace.
The orangs remained stationary in suspension, after the ceremony of welcome, and as we advanced up the avenue the doctor intermitted, with the exchange of salutations, initial instruction regarding the usages to be observed in intercourse with the various representatives of the Holm. "In association we trim our speech of all complimentary superfluity, and so shape and manage our discourse that no margin is left for misapprehension; and our pastimes embody as much of the useful and instructive as possible. By this course we are never surprised in word or act with inconsistencies which puzzle, or exceed our powers of clear and rational demonstration, for the easy comprehension of those who seek to benefit themselves and others by the adoption of our example. In the review of my past life -- a good portion of which, like your own, has been passed in travel -- all the ruptures and discordant acts that I have ever known, arose from the heedless use of the tongue, and with the premonitions they inaugurated, I greatly prefer the reputation of the taciturn and unsociable, who find within themselves abundant resources for thought, to the voluble conversationalist who improvises from impulse. Upon these admonitory points we all agree, so that you must not think it strange, or question the perfect accord of our hospitality, if you find us at times inclined to thoughtful retirement within ourselves."
Our conversation at this point was stayed by the affectionate welcome extended to me by relatives residing in distant mid-mountain valleys. We had now arrived at a hill promontory jutting out into the valley, around which the avenue was continued, although a shorter one followed the course of a rivulet ravine over its base. Rounding the point upon the raised slope, we gained an extended view of the plateau on either hand, and realized with amazed admiration the indescribable loveliness of its surpassing beauty; and no longer wondered that its justly-extolled fame had overreached geographical description in the days of Herodotus, Ptolemy and Diodorus, bearing upon its reputation the significant title of fortunate insula, and by them described as the abode of the blessed.
THE INCLOSURE OF THE HOLM surrounded the rimmed circumference of the summit of a flattened mound which overlooked the wide expanse and extremes of the plain, and contained within the walled circuit twenty acres of ground. The doctor in his description, said that in its present state it was triply entitled to its name, as it surmounted a hill that was made by the flow and union of streams, a river islet, while the holm ilex, or evergreen oak, formed its park and avenue shade trees. In less than half an hour after my arrival, I found myself the inhabitant of a bijou cottage under the shade of the elm and trained holm oak, of high growth, while in nearer proximity, it was embowered in shrub- tree growths of the fragrant oleander and spice trees, to give piquancy to the bouquet flavor of odorous flowering plants; while within and without the air was cooled with flowing founts, and freshened in the rooms by revolving punkas -- a yankee invention -- which contributed not only to a free circulation of air, but freedom from winged insect molestation. In like manner, pre-vision had furnished me with the means of maintaining the cleanly purity of my quarters, independent of servant aid; if, as my attendant remarked his labors overlooked anything that could contribute to my comfort. I must acknowledge, that since leaving Singapore, the force of example had deprived me of what I had before considered one of the essential luxuries of life; and now that they garnished the sideboard in the tempting guise of Habana puras and Manilla rosas, in company with wines of the choicest vintage, I felt constrained to still resist the desire that prompted indulgence to complete my habitual estimate of perfect enjoyment.
A moment's contemplation of the purity and freshness of the atmosphere that pervaded the apartments, to which was added the delightful aroma of flowers, selected for their freedom from oppressive strength, made me feel that in thought the desire for indulgence was a profanation of the chaste decrees of the Holm's presiding genius; and I dismissed its lure with a thankful feeling of relief. After sufficient time had been allowed me for cleanly renovation I was summoned to the refectory. On my entrance I was surprised with all introduction to the great-grand-parents of the younger Leslie, who had so kindly extended to me the privilege of reading his abstract of ancestral experience in the settlement of Saar Soong. as well as the rare opportunity of testing the revealed proofs by a welcome sojourn at the Holm. To express the exact emotional characteristics of my astonishment in being presented to the parenteedors of five generations, in the enjoyment of perfect health, activity and all their faculties in a degree equal to the child reproductions of the last, would be impossible. It will be sufficient to state, that my deferential admiration was content to listen, without venturing to take a more active part in the topics of conversation than to express my opinion when called in question; and I am afraid, from the feeling of awe inspired, that my answers were not as thoughtfully intelligible as I could have wished, with the desire of gaining their respect.
OUR REPAST was simple. The first course was roast fowl, and the second, of beef boiled and roasted with vegetables. All the fruits and vegetables of temperate and tropical latitudes were cultivated on the estate; and Mr. Leslie senior informed me that many had been greatly improved in flavor and size by a process of hybridization, which he described as having originated from an accidental scientific experiment developed in the transition of seeds from side to side of the mouth pouches of one of their germ- man-ate cousins of the Gibbons species. "Although the discovery was purely accidental, his teeth having ingerminated the vital organism by involution in transition, we could not, in view of scientific precedent, withold from him the honors usually bestowed by enlightened societies and academies for developments inaugurated by a process of rumination which proved so elaborate in reasonable results. "We accordingly, by reflexion, made him a Knight Discoverer of the ancient order of Orangs (K.D.A.O.O.). His insignia order of decoration is a golden seed within a seed, but half evolved to view. He has since achieved from an a posteriori discovery the initial title of K.R.A.S.O., with a tail decoration for the legitimate improvement of his species. While you approve with taste the high order of merit obtained by this bouquet hybridization of the orang-ge (we honored the fruit with his specie's name) and chiromoys, I will state that our Saar Soong royalty orders and scientitic honors, as awards from society association, are like your own, void of any intrinsic worth to the recipient, unless he is possessed with an appreciative endowment of vanity.
"Although gladness makes us jubilant with the selfish gratitication of again embracing our own children after their long absence, we are not insensible to an increase of happiness from the presence of our other guests. For we acknowledge a perpetual increase of joy from associate participation by the kindly disposed, and are glad to impart its impression to our germ-manic neophytes. Your neighbor on the left is a direct descendant from the celebrated discoverer I have mentioned, but as yet he has shown no marked predisposition for science." The neighbor he referred to was a venerable long-tailed Gibbons, who occupied the next seat at the table, and notwithstanding his decorous behavior and formal politeness, my composure had been severely taxed to hold in restraint my disposition to laugh at the odd conjunction; and but for a similar disposal of other members of the species, in near proximity to the ladies, my feelings of repugnance would have been inclined to construe the introduction as a personal reflection bordering upon insult. Apparently aware of what was passing in my mind, Mr. Leslie, continued: "We supposed that, as a naturalist of ability, you would not be content with seeing the objects of your curiosity for a superficial report, but desired an opportunity to learn and judge of the orang's real status as the germ-manic source of our race.
"As you will observe, we have representatives of the three detailed species of orang in their progressive approach to manhood. Of the troglodyte orang, and the causes which have reduced him from the legitimate track of elevated progression, we shall speak when we have fully impressed you with the influence of habit and custom for effecting material changes in the organic formations of the vegetable and animal kingdoms. You have directed inquiring glances to the 'ladies,' as if to question the impression that our orang guests make upon them.
"Biblical record informs us that their dress of fur was the fashionable attire in which they appeared during their happy residence in the garden of Eden, before Eve's curiosity and experimental accident reduced herself and husband to depilation, and a consequent knowledge of their nakedness, which brought shame, theology, law, disease, doctors, and death into the world, with all their woes. But it is quite sufficient that we, the lineal descendants of Adam and Eve, should suffer from the artificial habits invoked by their fall without subjecting the perfect offspring of a collateral branch to the constraint imposed by mechanical appliances in substitution for those of creative endowment. Now that we have satisfied your curiosity with associate evidences of primitive simplicity, in freedom from want and misery; such as our first parents enjoyed before they were disabled, and in contrast suffered the unlimited cravings engendered from a transgression of natural instincts, we will dismiss our orang guests from the penalty of further attendance in exampled conformity to the usages of our 'depraved and sin- begotten condition.'" With a sign from Mr. Leslie, the three orang grades of ascending perfection, from bad, better, best, arose from their seats with alacrity, and bowed themselves out, showing evident symptoms of relief when they regained the branches of their native trees, and in the order of their coming swung themselves in swift handgait back to their forest martruvos.
When they had disappeared from sight, all those disengaged from the active employments of the estate, peculiar to their approaching eventide hour, collected in a garden amphitheatre of spice trees to listen to a "chata" or running review of the events which had transpired in the home affairs during the absence of the travelers.
But the younger Babi suggested that it would be better to first initiate me into a clear genealogical understanding of the derivative source of mankind from scriptural interpretation; as many of the illusions might shock me from the partial impressions inculcated from the imaginary style adopted by Noah in describing the earthly advent of our race, as well as the misconceptions which were rife from the prejudicial encouragement of sectarian teachings. "Mr. Shawtinbach," he observed, "seemed to be so startled at meeting our germ-manic cousins at the dinner table, that I saw at once he still entertained the common sectarian whim that sin had sanctified the process of eating with the Caucasian Christians, and made its mechanical aids and accompaniments the means of earthly salvation from contaminating association with those descended from their sinless ante- progenitors.
"Like the thousand and one legendary saws derived from Mosaic ritualisms founded upon imaginary distinctions of selfish preference, they still give utterance to the hackneyed phrase, 'feast of reason and flow of soul' at the 'luxurious' banquets of society designed signed for self-laudation by elect gourmands.
Although it is an attested fact that Malasians claim, prove and honor their descent from the orang, still as it is a truth repugnant to the civilized code -- which has nothing to recommend it but absurd inconsistency -- I was obliged to hold my peace and bear the implied gibes in recognition of my resemblance, in personal conformation, to the happy progenitors of a sinful and ungrateful race of apostate children. But I am anticipating the selection of a biblical commentator, and will defer my impressions derived from civilized association until they can be used for practical illustration of suitable topics of discourse. Mr. Leslie, senior, G.P., said that in accordance with the time-honored civilized custom "he would call the meeting to order" and consider himself duly elected to the "chair," and
would, in the capacity of president, nominate Doctor Olu Babi senior, G.P., as the biblical ethno-genealogical commentor for the evening! "All those in favor of the nomination will signify it by saying aye; and those opposed, No." Anxious to show my approval of the nomination, and from the political impression of my democratic education, I gave my aye in the usual loud "caucus" tone, and was startled with its en suite repetition from the foliaged concealment of the trees overhead, and became aware that my lead had been sanctioned by a parrot constituency.
After the customary announcement of the president, "the ayes have it," he observed my annoyed and conscious blush and replied to my mental inquiry. "Your wonder is excited at the concerted promptness of our political tonguesters, but with your experience it will be quite unnecessary to refer you to sugared bribes to second the memory's drill.
"Doctor Olu, as with familiarity we are wont to style him, has had an experience of one hundred and forty years since he emerged, with titled sanction, from the empirical teachings of the Physician's College, London, a licentiate practitioner of medicine and surgery. A native of Travancore, the extreme southern department of India, and by birth a Hindoo, descended from the Apeorines, the most ancient and highest caste of the long-tailed monkey worshipers, you will find him unprejudiced, notwithstanding his long residence in England, during an active stage in her cooperative missionary effort to convert the Indians into good tax and tithe-paying English Christians of the established church militant, who would take kindly to resident rulers and bishops with a plurality of livings. Our army companionship established between us a feeling of mutual reliance and friendship of affection, to which the loss of his infant daughter -- that was stolen by the Kubu orangs -- added sympathy to strengthen the alliance. These ties have increased in trusting confidence until they have become co-equal to those of the fondest relationship. With this tribute to the doctor's worth I will allow him to vindicate the capacity of his intellectual reach aud judgment."
The doctor's grateful smile recompensed Mr. Leslie for his affectionate
eulogism as a pleasant prelude to his exposition. The terms of the chata,
or discourse, I will endeavor to transcribe, so that in reading the written
copy you will be able to catch some of the characteristics of style peculiar
to the relator.
"Just above an index finger relict of a tail, there was inscribed in tablet device on the back the following memorial legend: 'Chung, choo, foo, China chang Orang!' which is rendered by Hy-Long-Fel-Loo, 'the last relict specimen of a tail of the celestial race of China orangs.'
"On the day set apart for opening the urn, a great multitude assembled, wondering with curiosity what this long-entombed memorial of celestial import contained. After they had joined in procession, marching and kneeling around the altar upon which it was placed, under the direction of the bonsa Pope-ing, or holy high priest mandarin, the while burning Joss (Jocko) papers (papyrus) in censors; the jar was unsealed and opened. The perfume that ascended and pervaded the nostrils of the wonder-struck devotees was of a character calculated to impart a feeling of veneration for its great antiquity, as well as the impression that they possessed within themselves the attributes of the divinity from which it originated. When the officiating priest had partially recovered from the startling effects of this most reverend viaticum of a past age, he proceeded. with a pious dread, in puffing self- deprecation of his own unworthiness, to investigate and reveal the evangelic source of this regenerating spirit of the resurrected urn. Inserting his hand with becoming caution, and a respectful evasion, or dodge, of the fumes his fingers remortalized, he drew forth from the embalming shroud a vellum pouch of sausage form and oriental size. This germ-manic memento of a first cause was laid upon the altar, and the assemblage, awed with ominous forebodings from its portentious indications, bowed themselves down in quadrumanal attitude, and worshiped, with trembling and fear, the prophetic emblem of a stomach's depravity. When a sufficient time had elapsed for ceremonial purification by jossstick and censor-fumigatory prayers, the high priest, with reverentially-averted head, unsealed the pyloric orifice of the vellum receptacle, and exposed to view twelve kaolin tablets. Upon these, in intaglio cipher, were burned unknown characters, evidently of a date anterior to the back inscription of the memorial urn.
"A deeper investigation discovered other tablets of a more recent date, with characters in nearer approach to an alphabetical foundation. These, after a sage analysis by a Tartar linguist, were found to contain the written commandments of the most high god Con-Fuse-Us, creator of the Dy-nasty worlds of Tartary and China. From the fact that they were under the seal of Dose-Us, the minister of the inferior and fundamental disburser, and tributary to the world below; under the sub-directorships of the rector and curate of soils, and were found deposited in the sac below the cardiac orifice of the vellum stomach, it was evident that they were direct dispensations of the most high god Con-Fuse-Us. In confirmatory attestation of his divine authority, was the fact that they had remained through the lapse of untold ages undigested in their stomach depository to the period of their revelation, which discovered the immutable infallibility of their decrees. The Tartar in-ter-pre-ter and sooth-say-err, with the aid of his commentators, was enabled, after enshrouding himself in sackcloth and ashes, as a preparatory dust offering of purification, to render by translation and annotation the mysterious import of the inspired pyloric tablet ingesta revelations of the most high Trinity god Con-Fuse-Us and Co., as intelligible to faith, as they were unintelligible to reason.
"But as the injunctions of the cardiac tablets were more legible in habit impaction, as a deglutition sequence than those of the god's earlier inspirations, I will offer them upon the altar of your consideration as a sacrificial dispensation from the remote past:
" 'Decrees, Injunctions, and Commandments of the Most High Trinity Joss-Hua, Con-Fuse-Us, and Son, U- Night-Ed, In One! The All-mighty Creator of the Tar-tar and Chi-na Worlds of the Celestial Kingdom of Fu-Chu!! To his created servants, Dam Orang, and Mad-Dam Orang:" 'Whereas, It hath pleased us by our own self-creating power of involution, to evolve you as a happy pair, in our own image, to become the immaculate residents of our earthly abode; the paradise of Fun-Foo-Choo, in perpetuity; with our power of fore-ordination and knowledge founded upon our special and infallible privilege, we pronounce you one, now and forever, A-men! Male and female We have created you, but in the unity of spirit one, while you obey our injunctions! For of the dust of the earth we have made you, and breathed into you our breath of life, so that you have become living souls for the reflection of good or evil. In the purity of your present state, we decree for your support, in happy freedom from labor, the fruits of all the trees of the garden, with the sole exception, and reservation, of the tree of knowledge in the midst thereof! The fruit of this tree -- the high cucco -- contains the bread, milk and meat in reproductive combination, as the representative of union between our vegetable and animal kingdoms; and as a guard for your protection, and a warning caution, we denounce it to your understanding, as perilous in desire and fatal to your happy contentment in attainment; in-as-much as it will open to your view an illimitable field for surmise and expectation beyond the reach of actual realization.
" 'In Penalty for the punishment of your disobedient infatuation -- if by any means you partake of this hybrid fruit -- you will suffer from an omnivorous craving of desire and a greed that shall extend to the accumulation of the most worthless things of earth. It will also beget within thee a lust for the proliferation of thy kind, who will suffer in multiplication, an increase of the maladies incurred from your transgression, until, with the constant re-inoculation of disease, the soils of your descendants will become so distempered with hereditary accumulations that the kindly affections of your first endowment of happy contentment, will give place to vanity, envy, hatred and revenge, as the prelude to self- extermination. In view of this, our test temptation, and warning against your seeking the means of indulgence, that will lead to the curtail of your present caudial contentment and union, as orang and wo-rang, we have endowed you with the free-will power of discernment of right and wrong; with this example for the proof of our instinctive perception for the choice of happiness, guaranteed from self-restraint, or certain misery incurred from a transgression of creative laws bestowed for your direction and protection in process of higher attainments.
" 'For Distinction or Special Capability, the Orang, our first individual creation, shall hold in reserved possession the elements of theo-ret- ical surmise for the omnivorous lead of soil-besetting greed, which, when once in the course of development, from the promptings of distempered lust -- beyond the reach of sufficiency for reasonable contentment -- it shall prove to him a continued and never-ending source of misery and unrest, ever looking forward for the material means of happiness in excess of his actual requirements. This gainful lack of knowledge you now possess, and with its negative inheritance the means of happy suspension in the realms of earthly contentment.
" 'In Reflective Endowment we have bestowed for the investment of the Wo-rang, all the kindly sympathies required for loving inspiration and solace; also, within her breast, the latent fount of maternal solicitude, which shall nourish a longing curiosity to know what the fruit-nut of this reserved tree contains, that, with our withholding, grows heavenward beyond their reach. If she, of her own free will, nourishes this curious, longing desire to have her spouse penetrate this secret which the nut contains, until it becomes a source of discontent, and in search for the resources of attainment, within herself, discovers the means of gratification, then vanity with its superficial train will usurp the legitimate birthright of happy contentment. When once the tide of curiosity has received, in flood, its gratification, it will ever after flow and ebb with future expectation in ceaseless unrest. Even the labors of transgression will increase, in multiplication, the woful sorrows, which, in the lack of your acquired knowledge, you could have retained, while content with your entailed powers of suspension.
" 'He answered, with downcast eyes: "The wo-rang thou gavest me as a companion, tempted me with the offer of the fruit, pronouncing it good. I yielded to her seduction and did eat, and lo! as thou warned us, the joyful means of contentment with which thou didst endow us, died, and separated from our bodies,(1) so that we were bereft of its support; also the covering for our bodies which Thou gavest us as a protection, alike serviceable in ward for cold and heat, as well as a bed and guard from injury. But if, O Lord, Thou wilt restore us whole, to the garden, our experience will ever be to us a guard against future transgressions, and we shall ever pray." Turning from this audacious prayer of the forewarned transgressor, A-Dam, we with a stern face asked: "Mad- Dam Orang, why have you disobeyed the injunctions we gave you for the preservation of your happy contentment that afforded you the means of joyous elevation and a source of complacent contemplation, as well as an appendage for useful and amusing entertainment?" Then with an upright incline and apish modesty, piquant with a pretty air, half defiant, in pleading deprecation, she covered her face with her hands and looked out from between her latticed fingers with such a bewitching new-born smile from her jetty eyes that we trembled in dread, fearing. from counter temptation, the loss of our own creative dignity, as the father of this fallen child of sin. With quick perception, for the enticing practice of her knowledge inspired wiles, she traced the effect her mimic arts produced, then simperingly replied: "While we hung suspended, tail entranced from a lofty bough, viewing the wondrous tree with its clustered fruit beneath the waving expanse of its broad leaved shadows, we felt the questions grow within us: why does this tree so far exceed the rest in height, and its leaves like branches from the very top spread outward and upward as if to unite the earth and skies? Or why the fruit so unlike the rest in form and size and guarded so high above our art to reach, unless within its husk the nut contains, with its milk and meat, the power to recreate us, with its knowledge gained, so that from mid-way where we hang tail suspended, yet tenants of earth, our arms may be to pinions changed and our tails feathered to guide us in soaring flight heavenward, in power exalted above the birds of Paradise? While thus we mused, with covetous thoughts inspired, we saw the 'apple serpent' the trunk invest with his tailful form, and then with crest erect and graceful coils around the hole, in silent moving circles upward glide as if with some motor spirit power, until the head the leaf-branches reached; then the circles closed and the tail around the stem of the clustered nuts took firm hold, and the head reversed in loop-like curves downward swung; but with such retraction; so full of saving grace, our own tails and sprawling hands and feet dependant in contrast seemed uncouth, and from beauty's curve far removed.
" 'After swaying to and fro in the gleaming sunlight's mellow morning colors, as if in reflection to gild his own, our admiration with noise of tongue and clapping paws we could not restrain. To these signals of applause he bowed his head with graceful curve, and for a moment with gleaming eyes surveyed us; this ended with seeming satisfaction, for with backward retracting corrugations he raised his crest to our level, and, approaching near, he addressed me thus: 'It is true your God had sail unto you 'Ye shall not eat of every tree in the garden?' " "Of all," I answered, "except the tree of your attachment, we are permitted to eat with safety; but of that we are neither to touch nor taste, nor with longing desire to covet a knowledge of its fruitful savor, or in penalty for disobedience we shall never more know contentment and the joys of our present state." But, the serpent with a hissing sibilation of scorn replied: "The fruitful part is within a nut contained, and to the sight nor heaven nor earth contains a purer white, or the sky a cerulean blue of a tint so rare and light, yet pervading as the milk and meat reveal. To eat of this dainty ambrosial fare will in likeness raise you above your tree- bound span, and earth's more groveling mood of discontent and grubbing toil in search for food, to become as purely white with heavenly tint and odorous blending as the triad gods themselves; with omnivorous power to draw from choicest source god-sustaining strength to invest your soils -- in daily test -- with a knowledge of good and evil. Hence this reservation and the fruit's high elevation with rind and shell concealment of its god-invigorating virtues to your soil's vitality." Curious to taste this nectarian fruit, painted in glowing terms so rich and fair, which would make us, at will, tenants of earth or air; we Bought to obtain from the tempter the means of gratification, nor thought that beneath these promised virtues, that did with your restrictions so well compare, the knowledge of good and evil would enslave us in laboring want, and our soil condemn to dust, the source from whence your vitality raised it! Too late we have learned that credulous faith gives no thought to the first great cause evolved for the habit control of Nature's laws.'
"With this, the wo-rang's self-accusing clause, uttered with modest grace, while the cocco's rosy tint suffused with cerulean glow her face, which with downcast plea paled from red to the meat's imparted white, we turned aside our lowering brow, half inclined to shrive her, so that with a sinless tail and body free from shame, she might re-enact the temptation scene and plead her cause again. But Con-Fuse-Us, our ghostly guard, did with a better plan infuse us, through our triad son, who could at some future day by a sacrificial act of pardoning grace, through a sinful daughter, save her race. With this inspiring thought, we bade her proceed with her relation, and no longer plead, with knowledge gained, hopes of restoration; for it would prove of no avail, as she could, in fact, show no just cause why we should repeal for her sake nature's laws which were given under seal, with the premonition of revelation, and not with the intent to restore their tails, then, by an act of regeneration. When she found that her seductive, new-born arts would not conciliate or re-adjust the parts of her lost estate, in forgetful pique she gave a disdainful flirt, as if to whisk as of yore, the tailful skirt in scorn. But when she felt the impression still retained, while of the tailful fact she was maimed, with a desponding look forlorn, the gathering mist from out her eyes with pleading tears for succor, our justice in remorseful spirit again decries. To break this spell, by which from new-fledged vanity she hoped to regain her loss and still retain the privileged fruit of her transgression, we made her cease to give expression to the sensual snares begot from the knowledge of her nature's change; that gave to her labors a material birth and wider range from which to draw in ceaseless round a phantom source of gratification from the ground! Thus urged to a full and quick confession, she said that, 'from their tails they had derived such constant source of pleasure and contentment as they hung suspended, with their hands and feet at leisure, the apple- serpent's long endowment with naught but head and tip, with tail between, argued an immortal source of treasure in god- like wisdom's vision, that could see the source and end, and destiny avert by reversing or joining the extremities, to counteract adverse measures. Then his gliding, noiseless motive power, in contrast with their vulgar motions, betrayed a higher source of inspiration than theirs, derived from constant inflation. But it was his higher powers of reach that afforded them the fruitful gratification, and added to their knowledge the mortal source of good and evil which caused their fall and the loss of their rebellious tails; while to him was still extended the power of reach, to inflict continued woe.' Yet all her talk, as if in innocent lack of thought, avoided the truthful revelation of the method plan devised to obtain the coveted prize. This tergiversation, in speech, of our experimental creation, on the day she her knowledge gained, did by far exceed our plan proposed, and prognosed a result by no means pleasing; as we had hoped to raise upon her grateful repentance a permanent foundation for growth in goodness and final regeneration from the body's sinful soil."
"With our Tar-tar privilege of god-like foreordination, we foresaw from this endowment of our terra- filia creation with the powers of speech, a pandemonium source of discord among the descendants of her offspring, begot from the surreptitious knowledge obtained from eating the forbidden fruit. In result we could clearly discern in near and far-off degeneration, from the source of temptation, its perversion in a degree sufficient to baffle the understanding of the speaker's intelligence for direction.
"This would inaugurate, in hellish devisement, reprisal, which would in itself multiply the sources of deceitful dissimulation, until truth, the source of confidence and contentment, would give place to experimental surmise and vague conjecture, under the ruling lead of preaching, legal, and medical interpretation, for the final involvement of the living soul with its inanimate source of original derivation. Baffled and puzzled with our own creation, we held council with ourselves, how we might compass our design and gain from her the means employed by our counter-power, the Serpent, to gloss the penalty of our premonition; which had forewarned them, not only of the loss of their happy member for suspension, with head and feet dependent, alike free from anxious care and thought for food supplies, but of the never-ending ills that would in quid succession grow from all their after acts with mingled hope and woe. Noting that our thoughtful silence which frowning shadows cast, blanched her face with superstitious gloom, in dread of some speedy doom, we aroused our demon of despair, who with hideous groans in monsoon tempest filled the air, and while the garden trees were bending and swaying to the furor of this gale-exceeding breeze, in whirlpool vortex the tempting toddy cucco was caught, and borne aloft by its spreading top, and from out the garden thrown.
"With such remorse as fear begets, she now, with pallor wrought, essayed to speak in prayer, 'that we would this fearful storm, and listen to her confession of the ways and means of their transgression; and if repentance could in aught avail to annul the penalty, and restore them from knowledge free to their former tailful state of blissful suspension, in which joyous mirth gave no thought to cause and effect, and their prevention, it should be sincere, and without reserve for temptation's curious provocation.'
"But between ourselves, in consultation, we duly considered all the pros and cons, and, after the investigation of the schedule regulations of our primal orders and plans for material and spiritual organizations; we at once decided that there could be no revocations; else our omniscient power, with that of fore-ordination, would with justice clash if arraigned to answer why, with intention; if created goodness was our desire, in perfection, we interposed this certain interdiction to mar and dispossess the highest of our creations of a happy birthright, with which, if it had been our pleasure, we could have endowed them in perpetuity. But as our jocose intention was to test our triad father's free-will invention for investing his created subjects with attributes and powers for riyal contention in provoking evil, for evil prevention, we were thankful that the wo-rang assumed the leading part, and yielded to the bait of our temptation at the start. To decide our 'doubts' whether the wo-rang offered the tempting toddy to her orang mate, in the spirit of kindly preference, that its zest might with his taste enhance her own; or whether from the fear of evil she essayed his body's test to save her own, we again waked the echoes with windy throes that wildly through the garden moaned. With this summons she forgot her new gained art discretion, and straightway, of her own weakness and the Serpent's guile, made quick confession:
" 'The Serpent, whose tailful body's soil we so much admired, with its vital powers of reach, so much above our own, urged me to taste the nectar from the cocco's flowers, if I would myself procreate, as with thee, who from yourselves procreated me. To gain this meed -- that would place me above restriction's limitation, and make me a goddess, with angelic attributes, self- conferred, and independent of your power, with the wish to see myself reflected in soil-likeness, as we reflect your own -- I submitted myself to his wisdom's direction, and with my husband's hands formed from plastic clay a "chattee" or vessel, and, when sun-dried, from grass he twisted a cord, and with it was taught to ascend the tree, and from the bruised and punctured flower-stem to catch the flow of sap-toddee. This, when sun-distilled, I offered him, and when he drank he became soon inspired with a god-like power, and free from dread and retribution. Sap- headed, he no longer feared to break the nut and taste the milk and meat. And then we fell asleep; but when we awoke from thirst and pain, we found ourselves disarrayed and tailless. To shield us from heat of day and night's damp chills, we a boothie framed in the bush. Then, too late! we felt our help1ess fate, and that knowledge, gained of nature's laws beyond our wants, did but prove a source of growing discontent, as they begat, from taste and habit, effects that craved for more, or something to allay the stomach's discordant throes; but whether our choice might prove for good or evil, we could not tell until weal or woe were felt. Even experience we could see; would serve as naught, for changing ourselves from the continued variations wrought. Now forlorn, we are penitent; not alone, because in transgression we have been caught, but from fear that our sins will multiply without end, and in procreation produce such soil deterioration that the creative source from which we sprang will disdain, in restoration, assimilation, and the heavenly rites of regeneration. But if we have sinned away the day of grace beyond the hope of salvation, it would please me to know -- if to that reach our knowledge may extend? how the milk of the cocco, so white, yet tinged with cerulian, and sweetly pure, could enter within the husk, shell, and meat of a nut so secure?'
"We discovered in this question the Serpent's wiles, through which he sought to learn the vital source, and how it was infused within the soil's mortality, and raised independent of its birth to live forever in the immortal realms of light, so that he might evade our just decrees of fore-ordination, which favor wrong, with temptation devised to surprise the sensual lusts from contentment's rightful trust.
" 'Why we favor wrong if we would be just is that the good, who wil1 ever be very few, should in persistent right their strength renew, and with thought trace the cause within themselves for the rule of happy laws. If we had created you without this self-restraining clause our work would have had but little zest, for you would have been good, without knowing that wrong existed; hence the test.
" 'But for the serpent's part, who so vilely, with wisdom's pretence, persuaded you that surreptitious knowledge of good and evil, gained against our express command, would raise you to become gods, with power to reject, without our special intervention, the wrong you obtained at the cost of act defiance against our sacred injunction; we sentence him and his to bite the dust of your mortality, and to become your mortal foe and source of dread for the infliction of deadly poisoned pang for dissolving in corruption your mortal soils from the vital moving cause, that we bestowed in proof of our immortal source.
" 'A writhing object of groveling meanness and insidious hate, to be crushed and mangled shall he his fate, and of all the beasts and reptiles of our creation speechless, he shall become the sum for the strongest expression of aversion known to your continued state under the rule of mind which will signalize your progressive existence and decline under the style of mankind.
" 'For your heedless lack of thought, forewarned by our express premonition, we shall doom you to constant self-delusion, disease, and faith for continued repetition; and for your perverse self-inflicted woe, your race shall ever in phantom chase, leave certain good to engage with an evil foe, who will lure you with faith expectation to win a higher prize which your own experience with proof denies. This will give birth to folly's invention, for folly's prevention, until ceremonial rites and shadows shall so engross all your progeny's thoughts that our affectionate endowment for immortal realization will be lost in vague surmise, which will render you subject to mechanical resource for pleasure, that will prove as ephemeral and illusive in effect as the substances employed are enduring. These in turn will engender more active miseries from heedless greed and indiscretion begot from vanity, envy and hate. In memorial evidence of the cause and justness of your doom and transition from a joyous state of suspension to a biped walking creature of earthly progression your progeny will be condemned to cultivate an artificial tail dependant in attachment from the crown hairs of your head, in significant token of the change wrought from the loss of your happy birthright, which afforded amusement and pleasure in freedom from the harassing thoughts which will now and from henceforward hold you spell-bound with anxious care.
" 'Notwithstanding your curtailed condition, which deprives you and yours in perpetuity of the actual realization of caudalistic enjoyments, you and they will be constantly subject to memorial impressions of your lost condition, and with repentant tears your race will seek in prayer for hopeful evidences of regeneration within themselves from material rites and ceremonies administered by priestly intercessors; who will offer an assurance for the renewed grace of tail restoration through the alleged mysterious efficacy of their own recaudalized supplications. While your race multiplies, subject to the laboring penalty of their earthborn condition, their soils will long for a millenium state of reconversion; and although divided in wordy opinions as to most efficacious means of attainment, all will concur in reverential devotion to memorial habits and customs sacred to your sinless state of caudality in the celestial garden of Fun-Choo-Foo-Mont-Kee-Orang. The offshoot generations from your celestial stock, although adhering to the impressions of a sinless tail, will, with wicked perversion, disregard the memorial attachment of its symbolical substitute to the crown of the head, and in deviation from the functiona1 attributes implied in its reversion will endeavor to eke out with artificial means sinless meditations from the local source of its original attachment. But these perverse generations will but add a fruitful source of woe to their soils' sinful accumulations with a garnered return of increased deterioration in worshipful reverence, which will in prone tendency lead them to bow down in stables and stalls for the savior intercession of the soil's purity in an ante-created state of devitalized humanity; until, in the course of natural degradation, the names of Orang and Wo-rang, in designation of their sinless state of happy purity shall become a byword, and in substitution they will be known as O-man and Wo-man.'
"You must not think that it is our desire's wish to cast the slightest shadow of a doubt upon the recorded statement of truth, that will bear the test of reason's light, which has been bestowed for legitimate discernment by creative endowment! For it is a self-evident axiom, that truth will vindicate itself more clearly from investigation! Equally self-evident, is the fact, that fanaticism and bigotry are tragic absurdities founded upon superstition; and by birth are in twin alliance with religion, and have proved the greatest curse that was ever patronized by human stupidity. Our reverence for the Creator is unspeakable, with the firm conviction that he has bestowed upon his creatures their relative means of happiness; and in the superior endowment of humanity has opened a vista for the clear perception and realization of an earthly premonition of immortality; but, has made its impression optional with the cultivated desires of the probationary state of the animus while subject tenant to the soil's mortality. We use the word soil as an equivalent for its derivative 'soul', adopted in reversion for mystic expression by creed devisement, and by the religiously impressed sybarite for the exquisite word demonstration of a 'feast of reason and stomach flow of soul,' We hope that your sojourn with us will lead you to participate in the reality of our joys, and in contrast feel and see the absurdity of the mechanical efforts of civilization to effect a happy source of regeneration. Society association, with us, is the garden of reciprocation, in which the night dews of solitary thought are distributed for congenial nourishment, and piquant repartee, for the animus stimulation of our soil's vitality; with, peradventure, a kindly reach in foretaste of immortality. So, that, if, at times, you find us self-engrossed with our own communings, you must not take our silence amiss, for in our garden chatas we shall endeavor to disburthen our thoughts of whatever we may have gleaned worthy of affording instructive amusement or mutual improvement for exampled extension. With this introductory prologue, in explanation of our hospitality's bias, we will subject you to your own control, in freedom from ceremonial conformity to any and everything in habit and custom likely to prove uncongenial to your preference."
The Musical Vesper Entertainment of the Holm was opened by an orchestra numbering eighty-odd performers, but was varied according to the requirements of the compositions rendered. But to my uneducated ear, there was a nearer approach to unity in harmony than I had ever imagined possible in attainment by instrumental amateurs, and was surprised to learn that some of the best performers were, in the language of Kan Avan, "native gentlemen" in a full and inexpensive suit of nature's uniform. Mrs. Leslie first noticing my astonishment from seeing these perched in various attitudes on the limbs and branches of the marsang trees, informed me that the Badda and Kubu Orangs, like the African descendants of the Gorilla Baboons, exhibited a strong natural taste for instrumental music, and a quick ear for detecting and imitating the variations of sound. "But as they were less superstitious than their African cousins, and more energetically independent of the shackles of servitude, their melodies and minstrelsy were free from the Methodist taint of howling lamentations, and semi-jovial and pathetic warnings against the dangers of hell's scorching' heat. Yet they retained as perfect an hereditary impression of the unalloyed joys of their sinless state of suspension as the most exalted high ritualists and Puseyites of the church of England, and showed their preference and hopes of regeneration, by selecting the limbs and branches of their original inheritance for giving voice to their jubilates. Although not as proficient in word vocalization as the parrots, and their African cousins in speech enunciation, still, as I had already discovered, they were not deficient in giving expression to the true pathos of harmony in musical attainment; and the proof of its real existence in association, as I would also learn when I became more intimately acquainted with their habits and customs from the interpretation of the initiated; notwithstanding their pertinacious adherence to the caste distinctions denoted by gradations distinguished by the length of the tail and reverence for its relative proportions as an original endowment of redeeming grace.
"From this material insignia-derived in genealogical succession from a sinless date, anterior to that of the apple tree of knowledge, from which, or in approach to, our civilized heralds of nobility trace their family distinctions -- the Gibbons hold themselves aloof from the apostate generations of the Kubu-Baddas, and harbor against the Troglodytes utter abhorence, while for our race they show a dependant reliance from our higher appreciation of the redeeming grace, derived from their sinless state, favored by the transition privileges of the tail to the head as the penalty of disobedience. Their claims for sinless exemption were derived from the Hindoo God, who created India, the Eden of the Mont-kee Orang, or the unabridged race of the Holy, who retained in prehensile purity their hold on faith by having their garden located in the Himalaya above the altitude indigenous for the growth of the coco or hybrid source of human woe."
Mrs. Leslie's first distinctive illustration was here interrupted by
a serpent solo, played by a Badda instrumentalist as an accompaniment to
the Baptist refrain, in what they dissentingly style the 'hard-shell key.'
'Oh there will be mourning!' which was sung in lugubrious drawling tones
by a redeemed convert who had been subjected from early infancy to conference
association with the Kubu sect. This reminded me, with its ludicrous pathos,
so strongly of the sectarian training of my youth for a certain hell, and
doubly doubtful heaven, that I could not withhold a grateful smile in thankful
praise for my emancipation from the thraldom of sects whose soils had become
so impregnated with the hereditary taint of earth that the regenerating
impression of a tail had become an outward form of ritual observance without
the sanctifying influence imparted by the Chinese memorial to the head.
At nine o'clock they rendered the echo song of "Repose," and at its close the parting salutation of "Good night," but on retiring to my cottage I found myself so involved with the strange impressions of the day that I wooed sleep in vain. Even a bulbul who had perched in the aromatic spice-yielding sooin- tra beneath the lattice screen of my bed-room window, failed with his varied warblings in song to lull me from the exciting freaks of imagination that followed in train from the actual personations and varied rehearsals of the day, which appeared, in the silence of night reflections, to be conjurations in panoramic reenactment of the world's creation. The hour chimes of the house clock had harmonized the lapse of the fourth division of a new day into the records of the past before my eyes closed in drowsy relief from the fantastic visions of my wakeful spell; even then its extreme unction seemed to be invoked and resolved into Bleep by an adaptation so peculiar to the helpless confusion of my instinctive impulses of thought that I appeared to be wafted by the magic influence of congenial sympathy from the fettered unrest of mortality. The song came from the latticed window of a neighboring cottage, and was timed to the soft and mellow music of a gourd guitar (Di-ree-throm- boo) in the long Samboyan measure of the Malayan Arab minstrel. The English equivalent that I give was from the translation of Mrs. Leslie third:
"Sleep, sleep! though far from your kindred, we hold you as dear;
For in spirit, we cherish the good, distant or near;
And your doubts, and your fears, as with the mists of the earth,
Rise, with the shadows of night, from the soil source of birth.
"Secure from the world's phantoms, we still cherish the fire,
And its type, the sun, to purify vague desire,
Which, with the taint of our soil's weight, restrains us from flight,
And holds us, earth bound, to the changes of day and night.
But, with calm patience and thought, you will no longer dream,
That will-o'-wisp rites will make you other than you seem,
For if in spirit, you would your earthly body save,
United, they must be consigned to a common grave.
But, if, in our direction, you will place your sole trust;
As with our own, your spirit will claim freedom from lust,
And though held by the vital, a tenant you remain,
Its sev'rance from the body, will free you from the chain."
My Second Day's Impressions as a Guest of the Holm Residents were ushered in train from the half- waking vision, ill yoked from the musical placebo that had calmed my perturbed spirits to rest, with the sequel of a full hour's refreshing sleep. On rising and looking eastward from my verandah, the sun's beams were glancing upward above the Saar Soong range of mountains, with a rich effulgence that imparted to me a glow of elation such as I had never felt before; and as I caught the first glimpse of its broad disk as it rose from the peak's shadows, the air became vocal with a hymn of salutation that resounded from within and without the enclosure in answering strains of joyful response. In correspondence, each face beamed upon me such glad rays of affection that I felt within myself a dearth of power for reciprocal expression, although inspired to my full capacity by the genial, warmth that in continual flow opened to me a current of exchange hitherto unknown to my spirit of calculation. Indeed, with the energy of a newly discovered animus that was to me an endowment beyond expression, alluring in joyful attractions and freedom from the taint of self, I felt as if translated from my body's "soil," with herald impression to the extatic realms of affection's sole embodiment; and realized with the novice capacity of my nature, a foretaste in premonition, sacred to my conceptions of probationary responsibility for the perception of an immortal state of kindred beatitude. The nodding smiles of recognition imparted to me such a zest of pleasure in salutation that memory's recall, in contrast of the cold, calculating "good morning! how d'ye do?" accompaniments of clammy hand-shaking, with the impression of saurian sympathy, caused a cold shudder in revolt from the "Christian charities" of ritualistic exchange common to the bourse intercourse in congregation of "civilized" humanity. An elephant jaunt, with an overseer, to a lower plateau plantation, before the breakfast hour, opened to me a new vista of harmonized labor for the expression of natural capacity, in accordance with creative indications. Also, the skillful adaptation of inventive ingenuity to relieve labor of its onerous and soil- accumulating predisposition, that renders work, in common acceptation, not only a task but repugnant to cleanly inclination. This preventive foresight, for the avoidance of disagreeable tendencies, I observed as a prevailing influence that from example had extended itself for se1f- correction through all the varied gradations of animal life; which demonstrated to my perception the kindred capacity of instinct in a new and wonderfully agreeable light. The reach of this silent power of example seemed to be illimitable, and in influence exceeded the powers of speech, as well as in the sincerity of expression.
At the breakfast table, with desire, beyond the power of thankful word expression, I conveyed my feelings, with an innate perception of intelligent comprehension to all, while communing with the current flow that seemed to question the extent of my developed resources for silent enjoyment. In answer to a look of inquiry directed to Mrs. Leslie, third, I was advised, that they had tried, with constantly increasing success, to reduce the limits of speech to exact expression, for the demonstration of mechanical information, and the more extended reach of harmony; and that in my spirit of investigation I would be called upon to recognize this source and means of communion, in a sub-degree of attainment, as an instinctive method of communication with the lower orders of animality. At the close of the meal, she advised me to take advantage of the remaining cool hours of the morning to acquaint myself, under my own direction, with the accustomed avocations cultivated as useful pasa tiempos, by the active residents of the estate; that I might be prepared to judge of their improved resources for the attainment of a realizing perception of the means of happy reciprocation. In compliance with her request, I commenced the round of investigation, with an inspection of the order and working economy of the home enclosure. My progress was encouraged with an understanding illustration of the common tendency of vocation for an equalization of the responsibilities of associate welfare; and with an approach so near to perfection, that instead of labor and uncleanly attaint amusement and conservative purity appeared to be the object and prize of successful attainment. As if recognized as a stranger, from my sauntering inspection of the employment of others, a soong-tee thrush Hoon made me aware of his attentive desire to afford me entertainment, and cheer my lonely lack of active occupation with the melodious inspirations of his sweetest notes. From branch, bush, and spray he cheered with song my steps, and at my call he would, without hesitation, accept my offered hand for a perch, and allow me with evident pleasure to plume his feathers; and when I endeavored to conceal myself from his view, he showed from his prying search, and elation, an apt appreciation for the game of hide and seek. When, for a more exciting hunt, he would linger in apparent indifference chanting his lay, with warbling carols, as an interlude to his more earnest measure, I could catch his eyes watching my movements in sidelong askance to the swaying changes of perch; or from behind a tufted twig, until my whistled call announced the full security of my fancied place of concealment. Then with a swift and earnest wing flight, he would seek the cover, and hop from branch to bush, and twig, chirping his puzzled tremors of excitement, with such a coquetting flutter of pretty airish changes, that I could not restrain myself from the impulse of laughter that discovered my ambush, and anxiety to greet the merry humor of the little buffoon's desire to show his witty resources enlisted in sympathy for my amusement and affectionate surprise.
To describe how completely engrossed I became with these sportive essays of winged affection would be impossible; or to impress you with an emotional perception of the change wrought for the re-transition from age to the joyous zest of youth. But how different from the sports that were the associate boast of my comrades in the school fellowship of my real youth? The thought, while the soong- tee's confiding, chirping notes were expressing with the fond variations of eye and plumage ruffling joy his success, made my blood tingle my flesh with the heated current of shame and horror as his sight caught mine; suggesting with its look of inquiry the transmigration communion of our soil's vitality. Mrs. Leslie, with some visitors, who had watched my sportive engagement with the social soong-tee's fun-loving nature, described to me their fondness for acting the part of amusing ciceroni to strangers, and advised me that a like instinctive homage of entertaining good-will would be bestowed by representatives of all the higher orders of the animal species capable of appreciating their privileges of enjoyment, and imparting them to our guests in grateful token of a desire to be recognized as members of our community of affection; so that I might be on my guard against wounding their sensitive love with indifference. In proof of this spirit of discernment and its disseminative impress for imparting to adverse natures a conciliating address, as I passed a paddock without the enclosure, in my descent to the plantations of the plain, a mule and his jack father catching sight of me, emerged from the gate and paid me their respectful salutations, in voices modified from the nasal throat key vibrations of their civilized brethren; although still retaining the ingurgitation of sound, which is the distinguishing trait and pride of their species, as it is inimitable in demagogic tones by all others, except our own. In more wonderful evidence of the harmonizing influence of example, they presented me their heads instead of their heels, to receive the ritualistic tokens of order membership from the right hand of fellowship, sacred to ancestral stupidity and obstinacy, for the preservation of their stable ordinances. These meek and lowly traits which a kindred mother in Israel had failed to transmit from the notable burthen she once bore into Jerusalem, with hosanna shouts of triumph from the associate multitude, bespoke a higher influence from exampled affection in freedom from the fanatic taint of superstitious jesuitism. After these instinctive tokens of good-fellowship had been exchanged, they, with an unobtrusive spirit of elation, trotted back and resigned themselves to the cool shade of the paddock trees. Throughout the course of my walk this instinctive "ovation" was continued in form adaptation for the expression of specie good-will, and in freedom from fear. But my first love, the soong-tee, accompanied me until my return, and then, in the bul-bul's vine, warbled a lullaby for my noon-day siesta's repose.
Convert Babi, the Travelling Companion of Loftus Leslie, I had not seen from the time of his grandfather's appearance, but learned at the refection table, that he was enjoying a picnic season, au- natural, with his guardians of infancy, at one of their interior martruvas. Observing my look of surprise, his mother informed me that he had been stolen from his cradle when but three months old, by the long-tailed Gibbons chang, when on the eve of migration to one of their undiscovered retreats. Although every effort was made at the time for his recovery, twelve years elapsed before they obtained reliable knowledge of his existence. "But we had learned," she continued," that our ideas of the pre-supposed object that led to the abduction of our children was erroneous. Instead of seeking a blood alliance with our race, it was looked upon with unconquerable disdain, as a source of inevitable degradation. Yet with a more charitable regard for truth than we bestow upon them, as our happy and sinless progenitors in kind, they practically admit its feasibility as a source of regeneration; but at the same time appear to understand that in a literary point of view, from the sentence of multiplication denounced against our enlightened first parents, for disobedience, they would become involved in the pena1ty. Still, in evidence of their practical goodwill, which in open expression of intention we should repudiate -- they have endeavored to bestow upon our infants, in a limited degree, the benefits of regeneration, in a surreptitious way. This missionary effort is directed to the sacrum, below its articulation with the al‘ of the pelvis; for the purpose of elongation before the process of ossification takes place for the consolidation of the sacral and cocoggeal rings. As a relic of the primal caudal gland remains, to attest to the original normal condition of our race, their missionary labors have produced many hopeful conversions, among which that of our son stands pre‰minent. Association, with a natural apish desire for imitation and germ-manic gymnastry, re-begets a most happy resemblance to their prototype exemplars.
"In addition, their abstemious habits encourage purity and good will, so that ebullitions of anger and despite are of rare occurrence. My son, although not lacking in dutiful regard to us as his natural parents, of course appreciates his manifest advantages from conversion, and laments our hopeless condition, but encourages us to cultivate with exhortation and example the inward testimony of a tailful spirit for a perfect resurrection. Indeed we have become convinced from the transmitted happy effects of regeneration that it will become a source of a lasting revival of sinfully lost impressions which are at present eked out with artificial mean and faith in prayer. At times I have seen my son despondent when he has felt the shortcomings of his hold on heavenly aspirations in comparison with the prehensile grasp of his presbyter exemplars, but faith in renewing grace and the hopeless vanity that exalts the less favored children of mortality usually restored him to a placid state of contentment. However, the few minutes with which he favored me, after his return yesterday, showed clearly that his hopes of restoring civilized humanity to a full impression of their unhappy condition had forever departed. He views the original state of your first parents' tail suspension, by the creative God of Israel, as a probationary test of forbearance for the realization of a more exalted capacity, and with the exception of the pastors of the pilgrim churches of America, the Methodist, and other evangelical revivalists, he found very few who in their daily meditations were inclined to view the sacred memorial ordinances of the tail with a contrite heart in freedom from envious vanity. When I questioned him with regard to the religious virtues of the females of your race, he answered with pitying tears of scorn: 'They are all votaries of toilsome fashions, and are so insensible to the prehensile means of purity with which their first parents were endowed that they drag the sacred memorials of tail suspension in the filth, mud and dust of the streets until their persons reek with the soils of their first sinful conception.' With this woful outburst he departed, and left behind him the artificial garments which had been substituted for the natural skins of beasts bestowed as coverings, yearly renewed, by our triad God Vashnu, as well as by yours of Israel. But a mother's love is not jealous, more with us than with you, when the preference is given to the sinless creations of Vashnu."
Suspecting that possibly there might he a kindred affection between her and some maiden convert, I questioned whether any other system of education was adopted than practical regeneration and quadrumanal gymnastics necessary for sinless progression.
In reply she said, that what was styled literary knowledge, in sinful acceptation, derived its necessity from the doom denounced against our first parent representatives of mankind in punishment for disobedience, as literary multiplication involved the Babel use of tongues, and consequent discord evoked from the use of the pen and its type multiplier of hybrid brain conceptions. "But, as a sinless race, the Orangs have been enabled to profit by the doom denounced against the transgressors of the decrees of the god-creators Con-Fuse-Us, Vashnu, and Israel; and in dread of the example and propagandic missionary efforts of a race who do not hesitate to acknowledge themselves totally depraved, and lost beyond the hope of salvation, they keep their converts, inasmuch as they are able, out of the reach of temptation. So that, with a few exceptions, those of our children, who have been hopefully regenerated through their missionary labors, and restored to a germ-manic perception of the joys entailed from a full caudalistic endowment, have been content to remain in their reconverted state. The voluntary restoration of our son was undoubtedly caused from the disposition shown by the residents to pay special reverence to the long-tailed Orang, as the sinless descendants of Him-Nay-Poo, the mountain creator of Thibetstan, to whom we hold ourselves worshipfully tributaries. We now perceive that their trust and faith placed in the regenerating influence of their revivalist labors were not miscalculated; for he has passed the ordeal of your high, low, catholic ass and dissenting sects in freedom from the least taint of apostacy. In verification of his sincerity, he exclaimed as he embraced me, Oh, mother, I am so rejoiced that I have lived to return and see you all again! for I feel as though I had escaped from the shadowy realms of hypocrisy and self-torment to enjoy again the peaceful solace of real affection.' Questioning the source of his disappointment, he said that, with few exceptions, they had found all the civilized peoples hypocritical idolaters, who worshiped the symbolic emblems of the sinless tail, but scorned, with perverse infatuation, to acknowledge that its loss was fore-ordained as an evolved punishment for the gratification of disobedient taste. 'Indeed, mother,' he exclaimed, with tearful eyes. 'I can assure you that the women, almost without exception, have become so insensible to the divine attributes of the symbolic tail of purity, that they trail the emblems in the dust and make them scavenger-trains for the absorption of the men's mouth ejections of eschewed filth. Moreover, they possess so little of the inward spirit of renewed desire for regeneration that they allow their idolatrous worship to be controlled by a high priest of fashion, who assumes the name of Worth, and holds his shrine in the holy city of Paris, sacred to the rites of Folly.'
"Loftus tried to convince him that the worship was sincere from hereditary impression; but that the rites of expression had become Babelized from the influence of zealous vanity, which sectarian priests encourage for their own support! But, he urged, that little consolation could be derived from a negative source, that confirmed their indifference to the great loss they had sustained, and the means of salvation. I asked Convert, why he had not offered them the convincing proof, with the evidence of his own hopeful conversion. He said, that in his first zealous desire for the reconversion of the Londoners, influenced by listening to a. sermon of the Rev. Mr. Spurgeon, and an exhortation from one of his female devotees, he had; but as they wished to treat it scientifically, he became disgusted with their lack of trust in their own senses; when they placed so much faith in miraculous impossibilities; and resolved from thenceforth to withhold the evidence of his own regeneration from the curious eyes of sectarian speculation. On his arrival in New England he was again encouraged by the Rev. Moodee, and co-laborer Sankee's exhortations, to reveal, to the most hopeful of their converts, his index for the assurance of manifest reconversion, without the interposition of faith. But, although, convinced of its reality; after a prayerful address to the throne of grace, they questioned among themselves whether its material reproduction might not be a serious inconvenience, in a partially developed state, to a suitable adaptation of the fashionable changes required for a becoming expression of prayerful devotion, in submission to the decrees of the god of Israel! They then appointed a committee to wait upon Convert and request him to give his experience at a special conference meeting of the ladies. The invitation he accepted, but not in freedom from misgivings, as his caste prejudices had become sacred from the special favor he had found in the eyes of the sinless antecedent representatives of humanity who had interested themselves for his redemption from the penalty of transgression. Loftus, to whom he described his emotions after he had been interviewed by the ladies of the Baptist conference, says, that his condition was truly pitiable, yet of that ludicrously doleful cast, conjured from imaginary woes, which excites a disposition to mirthful, rather than serious sympathy. He, in relation, said, that in compliance with the terms of the invitation, he was received by the committee of reception; who in turn transferred him to those appointed for introduction to the spiritual soul commission, and by them to the investigating committee composed of a mother in Israel, a doctress, a lawress, and milliner or dressmaker. After the formalistic rites of selecting the mother as a presidential chairwoman; the active course of inquiry commenced, by sundry preliminary ahems, from the elected speaker; who after succeeding in the vocal adjustment of her throat, addressed him as follows: 'We have hear'n tell that you came from our missionary injes and that you hav -- hav -- a --' Here the doctress interposed for the relief of the chairwoman's delicate question, with the direct question in proposition. 'We have heard, upon your own authority, that you are a native of the island of Sumatra; and by descent from the Malabar Coolies, who are worshipers of a race of long-tailed monkeys; and that you was abducted or stolen by a race of Orangs in your infancy, who succeeded in manipulating the terminal portion of your os sacrum into a succedaneous-caudal extremity, or representative t-tail? Also, that you have derived from the acquisition emotional sensations, or retrocedent wags, which you have referred to a hopeful reconversion into the sinless state of purity enjoyed by our or your first parents, before they tasted of the fruit of the tree of knowledge?'
"To these questions, so lucidly emphatic in asseveration, Convert replied: 'All that you have stated is literally true; although memory will not allow me to refer to my experience before the eventful period of the Orang Missionaries' labors for my regeneration -- for comparison I am, nevertheless, certain that my impressions are of that happy class which you would attribute solely to the source that I claim for identification.'
Lawress -- " 'Then you consider that you fire entitled to the primogenial spirit of entail from the ordinance of renewal by the laying on of hands and not as we claim by the impression of the Holy Ghost?'
Convert -- " 'It is certain that if they had not labored for my reconversion into the type of purity, which they represent with such an extended endowment of grace in a legitimate way, that can be readily comprehended, I should have been left to the darkness of conjecture, and the vague impressions which you find it so difficult to analyze and locate as the source of your direction. But, my dear sisters, did you never, in meditation, reflect in your desire to become members of the angelic choir that a tail was an indispensable source of direction to wings, and that your first parents' suspension by it was the period of probation that was fixed to determine whether you would mount and fly in sinless freedom, or fall from the weight of knowledge gained by disobedience and revolution, tailless, to be come again allied with your mother earth? If you will bestow your thoughts in calm investigation of the impressions that lead you to adopt fashion -- which have their origin from hereditary influence -- you will find that they are derived from the Holy Ghost reflection of a tail. Or if you will remark, with a studious desire for truthful enlightenment the effect of habits for the increasing incumbrance of your body, with the soil's increase from earthly accumulation, in excess of organic want for cultivation, you will find that you are fatally receding from the goal of your hopes. Yet you disdain the manifest source of your origin, while you cultivate the natural indications in a way alike detrimental to health, happiness and the assurance of immortality.'
Doctress -- " 'But how can you assume, without knowledge, the immortality of the soul, which was obtained from it, with the privilege of redeeming grace sanctified through the agency of a believing faith in the divine ordinances?'
Convert -- " 'As you have now emerged upon the desert waste, subject to the sectarian sand- blasts that blind the eyes to rational direction, where faith and fate assume the lead, for the consummation of self- destruction, I might, in answering according to my discretion, incur in designation a worse or more opprobrious title than pagan and infidel. So that, with your permission, it is better that we should part without making additional effort for the amalgamation of your artificial impressions of an hereditary tail, with my natural sensations derived from the Orang ordinances for the propagation of material regeneration.'
Doctor -- " 'But then do you really feel -- excuse me, the position is so novel -- that your germ of a t-tail conveys to your soul a distinct impression of the sinless condition of our first parents, before their fall, and if so, do you assume that the virtue of their state of beatitude in th-that member was their sole dependence for happiness? I would like to have you consider the bearing of the questions as religiously scientific.'
Convert -- " 'We have been taught by the directing genius of Saar Sooug, which seems to preside over our judgment in matters pertaining to right and wrong, that conjecture is a bad foundation for hazarding questions of creative intention. But I will presume, reverentially, to suggest that the prehensile hold of the tail for the body's suspension might have been a tadpole test of capacity for a celestial flight, or a ruling terrestrial association with kindred animality, whose tails are simple dependencies, which can be docked without aggravating the source of vitality or impairing their hopes of a future existence. But your dress, with its appended tags and herald memorials of your lost estate, attest with the strongest scientific and inductive evidence to the source of our racial degradation and hopes of regeneration through the pardoning grace of restoration to our lost condition. As a doctress you should be aware that our race still retains the caudal gland as a weeping memorial of the lost member, and I will refer you to its long neglected impressions, which can he revived, for your sacramental confirmation. Even the word 'sacrum,' which is in meaning a derivative from antecedent equivalents in expression, signifies an altar of sacrifice; and in all probability the ordinances of the sacrament had their origin in commemoration of a loss that established the rule of sin and brought death into the world with all our woe. My sacra- mental sensations have been caudially cultivated. and have from natural source reached a higher degree of visible attainment and mental impression than your formalistic artificial ceremonial rites, which only rely upon tradition and hope for sanctified realization.'
Doctress -- " 'Really, Sir Orang; if we are to be condemned on the score of knowledge, I am afraid that your cultivated ante-dote will have to be largely endowed with saving grace to counteract your own inheritance of mankind's sinful nature. But with your cultivated attainments as a human being, influenced by your partially renewed condition, how are you able to reconcile in natural sequence our upright walk with previous quadrumanal habitude?'
Convert -- " 'The immediate consequences of sinful disobedience presupposes the loss of the tail, which, with its prehensile power of suspension, left two pair of hands for service, instead of the pair of our present dependence. In the Mosaic account of creation, by Israel's God, the loss of the tail is implied in the description as having been caused by a fall from a high position while in reach for the forbidden fruit. By this fore-ordained accident the sinless state of oranginity was forfeited, and in fact your progenitors, Adam and Eve, were reduced to an earthly quadrumanal walk without the suspensory aid of their sinless speciality, As this condition was equivalent to quadrupedal, and they were condemned to support themselves by labor, their powers of observation, which are the source of knowledge, discovered that the loss of the tail established a vicarious supply of pabulum to the parts (muscles) of its body attachment, which, as they increased in bulk, projected backward, acting as a centre of gravity, with a tendency to an upright walk. The necessary advantages of this position led to its cultivation, and as exercise developed a progressive tendency, Cain, their first born, was undoubtedly subjected to the spanking process in experimental excess beyond discretion to urge his devotion to tillage. Improving from the adverse knowledge exhibited by Cain's temper under the infliction, Abel, their second child, was treated with greater leniency, not only in the hand cultivation of his soil, but in the choice of a vocation, which, as a shepherd, freed him from the penalty of labor; this favoritism caused deadly jealousy and revenge. Our Saar Soong genii have suggested that Adam might have been addicted to the juice of the cane, which caused his fall, and the distempered source of his son's cognomen and jealous irritability. But as this pre-supposes a knowledge of its intoxicating properties communicated by the serpent, through Eve, we do not feel much inclined to patronize the
natural inference, as it would too plainly indicate the primal source of our woe. Yet we have the same traditional predisposition to trace the origin of the great calamity which has befallen our race to the juice of the cane, as we have to christen our walking-sticks from the use Cain made of his for avenging himself of the preference shown to his brother Abel.'
Doctress -- " 'Your interpretation of scripture is somewhat singular, yet there is a seeming approach, from the world's exampled evidence, to the real cause of our unhappy state. But you appear to have in your composition more of human than orang nature, for tracing events from cause to effect. How do you account for this predominance, when you were subject to the molding influence of orang instinct from the period of unconscious infancy to puberty, the most important stage in life for establishing a predisposing preference for the control of subsequent habits?'
Convert -- " 'After the hereditary lapse of five thousand years' (according to scriptural computation) experience in the mutability of human "knowledge," you cannot reasonably expect or religiously hope that the current impress of disobedience could be turned aside for the re-establishment of innocent simplicity, by a novitiate of twelve, with the sinless representatives of the original stock? Or that the germ- manic impression of a regenerated tail, reinduced after so long a bereavement, would be able to accomplish more than to afford me a realizing sense of the unprofitable vanity of human knowledge. The fact of preference for a state of sinless irresponsibility, which was increased with my knowledge of the discordant elements of selfishness that ruled the world, should prove a sufficient cause for you to understand the sanity of my choice. If you can inform me, from your own experience, or of any other well authenticated, of the exact or approximate amount of happiness that has ever been realized from knowledge, by individuals or communities, aside from its legitimate object of endowment, which was for the enhancement. of affectionate confidence that extends in grateful appreciation from the creature to the Creator, you will then be able to recognize the use that I have made of my privilege of comparison.'
Lawress -- " 'Yon certainly must have felt very grateful to your human relatives, when your cultivated intelligence made you aware of the lawless state from which you had been reclaimed? For order has been proclaimed as the first law of nature; and by it we are made to understand statute rights for individual and community regulations, which, of course, you will not claim that your orang abductors could in the remotest degree understand?'
Convert -- " 'Order is a term susceptible of a great variety of interpretations; and to my apprehension has no fixed value or estimate for clear appreciation with your civilized communities, which have from the beginning evoked orders for the cure of disorders. My orang intuition gave me an insight into a system void of offense, inasmuch as it corrected errors of judgment without reference to a future day; so that there was no cause for a breeding source of aggravation to beget a contravention of well-ordered understanding. While with them, I learned to drink, eat, exercise, and sleep with a relish that never exceeded the limits of satisfaction. and realized as much of natural affection as my understanding required, with out any of the aggravations that provoke your children to anger, reprisals, and recrimination. This, even, with my Saar Soong experience, affords me an impression of order which adapts, with instinctive 'reason,' the means to an appropriate end, equivalent to the demand and reach of expectation, While with your people, under the canopy of civilization. the order of law-sustained selfishness encourages the grasping to accumulate in excess of their requirements, to the absolute detriment and starvation of the real laborer, who is, in fact, made to offer his brow as an altar for a sweat sacrifice for the redemption of the oppressor from the common penalty of sin, Indeed, if I am permitted to return to Sumatra, I shall hold it as my thankful duty to pay my orang teachers for their missionary labors in my behalf, which have taught me that the resources of my own erring nature offer me a field for cultivation and correction for an exampled harvest of contentment.'
Doctress -- " 'Do you wish to have us understand that the Orang can appreciate, with remembrance, evidences of gratitude with the power to distinguish the source and object of their bestowal? Or that the object of their labors bestowed upon your person were of a scientific order really designed for the reproduction of a sinless specialty, founded upon a theoretical knowledge of the original endowment, with a just appreciation of the causes that led to your degeneration from their standard of redeeming grace.
Convert -- " 'It is quite sufficient for me to know that they retain the negative power of suspension which held the balance of the body for the choice of good, or evil, for creative evolvement, and that scientific curiosity turned the scale and laid the foundation for theoretical surmise, which has, from thence, ever been reaching forward for the chimerical power of knowledge that will fulfil the Serpent's promise to the Eve of your race. Still it requires but limited powers of comparison to understand that your artificial resources only tend to separate more widely the cohesive elements of concord with an increase of hopeful infatuation that must prove a source of humorous reflection from the exhibition of free-will attributes to your God of Israel With regard to the Orangs' powers of perception they certainly have a quick understanding of likes and dislikes, and are not deficient in power for the recognition of the source from which benefits are received, and that testifies to the possession of a disposition capable of feeling the grateful impressions of reciprocation. They may also possess, in a limited degree, the powers of comparison for the relative understanding of capacity for enjoyment, and the means to be used for attainment or realization in the way of material gratification. But as they represent the tailful period of contentment, it cannot be expected that they possess the capacity of a Padre Simon or Saint Cecilia for the appreciation of faith without works, sufficient for the realization of right while they still the wrong pursue.'
Doctress -- " 'Have you any knowledge of the process by which four abductors were enabled to effect this rudimentary evidence of material regeneration, and if all were alike susceptible to the 'ordinance of redeeming grace?'
Convert -- " 'During my novitiate my curiosity was not excited, as I was too young to appreciate the redeeming joys of this special interposition of an act of saving grace, or to test its sufficiency or efficacy by comparison to le1lrn whether it 'contained the abiding solace of extreme unction. But as I increased in years, I became aware of its impression, and after I had obtained a knowledge of anatomy and physiology from my father, with an empirical insight into the therapeutical use of remedies for the cure of diseases incident to hereditary imposition, and those self-incurred and accidental, my curiosity became desirous of learning the method that had been employed for my salvation from the penalty of sin, and again sought my association to gain the confidence of my evangelical renovators. After my sojourn at their chief martruvo had been sufficiently extended to insure their confidence and approval, I learned that the rites were administered with ceremonials akin to those of circumcision, but the process was peculiar, resembling, in some respects, that of the Flat Head Indians, but it was more scientific and satisfactory in its result. The native Malay convert was styled a Kubu Orang, but all the others were known by their tribal, or names of national derivation, with the exception of the Troglodytes, whose debasing habits made their bodies dens for an existing lodgment of vitality; in fact, they were so regardless of grateful consideration for the missionary labors bestowed by the Gibbons Orangs for their regeneration, that they persecuted them with unrelenting hatred. After the full establishment of caudality had been assured, the Neophytes were placed in conventual institutions, or martruvos, under the charge of Kubu Matriculants of long standing and well-tried faith in the efficacy of saving grace. Although the male and female departments were separate, it was not with the intention of promoting celibacy, but seemingly with the desire of effecting a more legitimate union of faith and abounding grace, which was determined in a practical way by measuring the extent of their caudial affinities. With regard to the development of material faith it was found, from well-tested experience, that the females were much more susceptible to the indwelling impression of future regeneration, and that they universally cultivated and esteemed their caudial endowment as a pinnate foundation for full-fledged angelic flight.'
Doctress -- " 'But, does your experience and faith feel the reviving influence of caudial regeneration, which appears to be derived in a measure from surreptitious force, and not through the inspiring spirit of divine grace imparted from wrestling with God in prayer?'
Convert -- " 'It is simply viewed, by those of the converts who place reliance in the human endowment of knowledge, as a way left open for our salvation from the bondage of sin, and spanking aggravations, which in developing the center of gravity for all upright walk, beget the devilish spirit of despite and revenge beyond the power of faith for atonement. Besides, it offers material evidence to sustain the necessity of uniting faith and good works for a flight of regeneration; and wrestling with God in prayer, appears to our natures a repulsive way of soliciting an inducement for an act of renewed grace. With your permission, I will now ask if your knowledge is rightly directed in assuming to offer the trains, or tails, of your dresses as a soil-accumulating drag to unite you, living, with the source of your birth as a rite addressed to the impress of present impurity, rather than to the spirit of regeneration that seeks to redeem itself from the embargo weight of mortality? The God of Israel proclaimed that, as fallen mortals, your skins should be dressed in similitude with the beasts of the field; but you have now become so degenerated that only a bare vestige of this provision remains, while with our re-endowment we feel ourselves abundantly clothed, and never so free from shame as when we are free in the forest glade, dressed in the native costume to which we were to the fashion born.'
Lawress -- " 'It appears to me, from your own relation, that you must be in a worse condition than the pagans and infidels; for you not only ignore the religious ceremonial rites of salvation, but law and gospel, to sustain which we all glory in making our bodies martyrs to faith, and esteem our reason as nothing but an aggravation, that withholds us from the immaculate effulgence of our divine Master. Heaven and hell, without courts of justice and equity, for pleadings and counter- pleadings, to sustain writs of redemption, condemnation. and inheritance installations, would be abodes of intolerable chaos and anarchy, scarcely preferable to the misery entailed with our present existence. To my understanding, you simply vegetate with vitality, but not with the consonant intention decreed for the full enjoyment of the excitements of our sinful state of prohibition and prayerful rites. Your pleading preference for a state in absolute alliance with the beasts of the field, argues a like degradation, and in capability a total lack of the godlike virtues necessary for the just appreciation of our evangelical attributes of a faith that can remove mountains which oppose stumbling-blocks to our progressive Christian motto, Excelsior!'
Convert -- " 'Pardon me, madam, but we claim, with the proof, that there is an appreciative difference in the creative caste of tails for the expression of instinctive emotions, as well as faith distinctions. Our Indian mythology has transmitted its tradition, direct, of a happy state of suspension enjoyed by our first parents' progenitors; and we worship the tail as of a higher date, as a source of purity, than the sinful bodies from which it separated, You are dependant upon faith for the faint perception that you retain of the blissful state enjoyed by your first parents before their fall; still, you are willing to acknowledge that some, by the special influence of divine grace, have been enabled to obtain a clearer insight into the soil-inspiring agency of this lost source of contentment than others. Now if you are willing to suffer, with knowledge and experience, the martyrdom of folly, and envious discontent, with the body's diseased degradation, from artificial memorial sacrifices, you can judge of our gratitude for the initial means of salvation that the orang missionaries have discovered for tail revival from the ante- germ-manic resources of our own bodies. Gentle simplicity, purity, confidence, grateful reciprocation, and kindred current manifestations, have proved a source of realization for the abridgment of faith, which you have substituted for the actual enjoyment of our primal inheritance; and, notwithstanding our present limited means for the full expression of caudal happiness, we are humbly thankful that it has opened a way for a more perfect regeneration of our posterity, whose tailful prehensile powers, with the adorning grace of reconversion, may again be enabled to lay hold of the promises for a higher evolution in angelic flight to the silent realms of peaceful enactment. If you could but realize, my dear sister lawress, the initial joys of our partial reconversion, which would render your artificial memorial oblations, raised on the a1tar of faith, embarrassing, and an aggravation to peaceful contentment, the voice modulations of your tongue, in argument, would give place to the realization of a caudial source of happiness, that would forever banish the word litigations of law legislation. That your posterity may enjoy a realizing sense of this documentary evidence of primal contentment, is my caudial wish; as it will usher in a period for the abatement of word provocations, and quarrelsome reprisals, by affording a source of amusement for the thoughtless, subject to self-evolution, independent of dancing and congregation association for while-away pastimes; or if seriously disposed, it will offer itself as a subject of contemplation, as the defunct source of human woes, and the means of salvation, Indeed, my dear sisters, with my limited powers of expression, I can assure you that this germ-manic source of contentment, is infinitely superior, for the realization of the solace, to the utmost capability of succedaneum faith founded upon artificial resorts, and ritual ceremonies!'
"With this valeditory exhortation, my son left the committees find commissioners of introduction and investigation, abruptly; as he found that female curiosity with a bustling desire for vain professional prominence prompted them to seek an interview, rather than that to be derived from a legitimate wish to confer the benefits of reconversion, in a systematic way, upon the generations of posterity
"But thc electress, in concluding him from the conference room, requested, in a professional way, the privilege of personal verification and scientific identification, for the establishment of a new order upon which to found a classification for appreciable regeneration; making length and prehensile tendency the emotional basis for the restitution of the ancient and honorable seat of sensibility to its pristine integrity, as it existed before denudation, invited the spanking era of correction, designed as an inductive aid for developing the center of gravity and upright attainments in knowledge, But Convert's sectarian sensitiveness had been touched by the formulistic selfishness of prudery, and real indifference shown for the realization of benefits, to be conferred upon future generations, so, much to her chagrin, he refused her petition and departed."
After the Mother of Convert Babi had Finished Her Relation of Her Son's Experience, I returned to my cottage, fully impressed with the realities ascribed to the ante-dote for the succedaneum use of faith as the agent for a new birth, and made the following entry in my diary:
"LESLIE HOLM. -- Notwithstanding the apparent air of trustful confluence that seems to extend through all the varied grades of animality, inhabiting the valleys of Saar Soong, there appears to be an under-current that as yet baffles my understanding. Although subject to its influence, the residents do not pretend that it is preternatural, or in any-wise a source of wonder, but seem to rely upon its influence as a guide for direction. Of its character, I am at present unable to deter mine; but it appears from the impression that I have received to be dependent upon, if not the exciting cause of, peculiar models of thought, which are inclined to travesty with the reflection that the knowledge gained by Eve's experimental taste was theo-ret-ical, and in sequence, that its results will always depend upon hope for the future development of faith for the accomplishment of miracles for the final redemption of mankind from self-imposed stupidity. In contradistinction to this endless chain of disjunctive ifs, the residents are pre-eminently practical in the development of happy results, and find within themselves a constant resource for the raved expression of contentment, which is imparted to all in freedom from speech, demonstration and professions of friendship. Although, in seeming independence of each other's special care, no want or suggestion necessary for the reciprocation of happy impressions is ever neglected.
"The impression conveyed by the Leslie narrative of Saar Soong, and the supposed reunion of the sinless Orangs with their sinful descendants of the human type, appears to have had its origin from the resemblance produced by association and missionary labors of the Gibbons to produce conformity in habits and ritual observances. But this transforming effect has been so successful in result that I find it hard to relieve myself of the impression that the converts were not to the manor born. Yet, upon reflection, memory furnishes me with the evidence that the children of a village or city have been transformed into apes by imitating the motions and language grimaces of a caged family of monkeys attached to a menagerie, after a single visit, which is sufficient to demonstrate the predisposition of humanity to return to their original happy state. If we add to this ruling effect produced upon children, the influence known to exist with mothers for the controlling impression of sympathetic reproduction in the sinless likeness of their antecedents, combined with their persistent ceremonial imitations of a tailful state, and its impression upon the head when it, in transition, became the seat of knowledge, a confirmatory chain of hereditary evidence is established that renders belief absolute, without the aid of faith. It also appears from the relation of Convert's mother that the foster-ties of attachment established by the Orangs prove more vivid and lasting than those of nature under the patronage of sinful bequeathment. Again, I am forced to admit, with the truthful judgment of conviction, that the contrast in the litterary tendencies of the sinless and sinful species of progenitorial humanity, abundantly corroborates the scriptural relation of cause and effect produced by transgression. For the happy family of Orangs are almost exempt from the diseases and self-imposed casualties that are constantly reducing the span of mortal existence, and yet they do not number hundreds to their disobedient cousins' millions. This fact exemplifies the potency of the denouncement of multiplication, as triplets and quartets are no longer a matter of surprise as the litterary products of labor with our race; while with theirs the paucity of births; affords them the grateful opportunity of bestowing missionary labors upon the infantile progeny of humanity for their reconversion into the initial similitude of the careless state of contentment enjoyed by our first parents before their fall. Whether from my former garden association with an inferior type of the Orang family, or from a real appreciation of the privileges enjoyed by the long-tailed Gibbons chang of Saar Soong, or from an inspired perception of renewed faith made glorious with the knowledge that our fallen condition is not hopeless, I am now enabled to participate in the reverential respect shown by the Malabar coolies in worshipful regard for these representatives of contentment who do not require faith to lay hold of the promises for self-sustaining suspension. Formerly it was one of the hardest possible tasks that came within the scope of my christian duties, to furnish others with faith sufficient for a belief in impossibilities, but now my leisure moments find abundant occupation in the charitable supply of caudal endowments to all my friends who lack these suitable appendages of redeeming grace, and it is strange what a wonderful adaptation of means to ends and purposes in life they effect for the fulfillment of intention. But hark! the Soong-tee's warbling notes summon my attention from the trellis vine of my window, while his soft hazel eye inquires, with a look of tender regard, whether I am lonesome and would like to be cheered with an evening carol, or would like to enjoy a little affectionate amusement as an appetizing zest for the approaching evening meal?
"Well, I was in that loving-vision mood in which real communion can be held with the peopled realms of immortality, where joyous beams are never opposed by clouds in the storm-bursts of contention; so I winked, with a smile, my request for a song, and forthwith he flooded my room with such a melodious outpouring of harmony that I became entranced with glad emotions, which were rayed with cadences that invoked me from the bondage of my body's soil to become tributary to their choir of affection. When the soonig-tee's refrain closed with a warbling echo, a sigh of regret recalled me to myself, while Hope lingered for some token of recognition. This deferred, I cherished the exciting herald for a future and more successful repetition. Ah, what gladness the affectionate instincts of a bird can convey for the solace of sympathy! and with what sadness did memory revert to the passages in the past pages of the day scenes of life to catch some impression of affectionate regard in equipment expression for the intelligent endowment of humanity that should make immortality a reality for present enjoyment! But what baseless fabrics and how gloom shadowed the funeral procession of dust to dust! with scarce a reviving spark as a flitting star-beacon and guide to the eternal realms of life's immortality. It is thus that the fulness of present joy makes me desirous to gather from the past tokens for future reciprocation."
Our evening table scene was varied with new faces; but the same joyous unity held control, and exalted the faculties above the indulgence of appetite into the cuurent stream of gladness, causing a flow of genial repartee in suggestive reproof of the day's deviations from the course of rectitude, with an occasional glance of contrast to the civilized world's revolutions of faith in the phantom pursuit of vestige impressions of their lost estate.
My attention had been so completely engrossed with the frank inquiries of a young female visitor, addressed to the mother of Convert Babi, that I did not observe the presence of Father Odorat and the Rev. Benedict Rantkin until Mr. Leslie 1st premised the repast retrato, or descriptive entertainment, by a general introduction.
He then stated that the district known as Saar Soong was occupied by six thousand seven hundred and nineteen residents, who derived support from its cultivation, and lived in harmony under the rule of self- legislation, and were more willing to confer than receive favors from strangers; while in circulation among themselves there was an abiding currency of affection that was a realizing source of grateful confidence and reciprocation. But as an increasing curiosity was attracting strangers, who came to test the validity of their reputed self-governing and happy discretion, he would announce that they held themselves solely responsible to example for the demonstration of their impartial and loving resources. Yet, as they were in their daily occupation inclined to silent meditation as a source of approved direction in association, it became necessary to adopt some method for the initiation of their visitors into the sought-for "eccentricities" which had drawn them hitherward.
For the purpose of fulfilling this demand they had been in the custom of giving a conversational retrato, or portrait of their habits, and influence engendered in association, at the close of their evening repast, as a prelude to the garden chata, Although they abjured argument as the blind source of obstinacy, that added darkness to abstruse obscurity, stranger in search of happiness would find them ever ready to demonstrate and illustrate with example their present affectionate resources; with their tendency for a constantly increasing degree of refined perfection in attainment. In reciprocation, they required their guests to conform in habit and custom, as they could rest assured that every consistent effort would be made to render their sojourn useful and agreeable. "We endeavor," he continued, "to discharge our obligations to the Creator by acting consistently; in accordance with the manifestations bestowed for our direction; well-advised that any attempt to overstep the limits of His ever-present decrees will result in our Babel reduction to the state of contention that holds ruling sway with civilized as well as the savage element of mortality. As your religiously fashionable votaries of civilized progression hold congregated association as essential for salvation, we shall for the present conform to your customs, until we are enabled to demonstrate more at large the practicability of our resources for assured happiness. Notwithstanding it is sorely against our natures to offend the most absurd victims of self-imposed afflictions, who honestly consider that they have a right to make themselves miserable and extend the instinctive contagion of their leprosy to all susceptible to its effects, we consider it our duty to use a remedy that we know will prove, in test, effectual for the eradication of the disease. As the morbid growth has a chronic standing coeval with the first cause of transgression, we cannot expect a speedy cure for the faith in quackery it has engendered; more than we can for the material reproduction of the lost member, represented by succedaneum faith, under the inspiration of redeeming grace. Still, as we enjoy a happy unity in our soil representation of humanity in Saar Soong, we feel enjoined to use our talent for its extension, in self-defense, for we have the bloody slot of religious persecution to remind us that in disposition it would not only exterminate us bodily from the face of the earth, but endeavor with pretext to hold our immortal affections as a forfeit to their hellish greed for heretic reprisal. All that distempered meanness could do, with the power, has been done to vindicate the right of a ruling minority to subjugate the laboring majority to penal servitude, wrought out by self-inflicted disability from imposed penances held in balance for the phantom choice of heaven or hell under their special devisement; even in New England, where the pilgrim fathers vindicated their right to worship God according to the dictates of their own conscience, which virtually condemned their Indian benefactors to extermination, from provocations instigated with like motives to those demonstrated by Russia in her recent holy war with Turkey. Christian clemency looks upon the 'poor misguided men of reason,' with the pitying eyes of the crocodile whose jaws and tail are, ready to indoctrinate him into the strait and narrow way that leads to eternal life.
"But how different from the caudal tokens of fellowship offered by our orang missionaries to the infants of their disobedient human cousins! Instead of cultivating with hellish faith the vengeful tail and jaws of the saurian prototype of religious fanaticism, they with gentle hands coax from its contracted source the ante-germ- manic tail, which had been sacrificed by our racial Eves for the gratification of vain desire! Although, in initial reproduction, it fails to impart the spiritual influence of contentment that inspired our first parents, before their fall, with an abounding grace for a higher flight in evolution, it serves as a material index to faith in its backward course of search for the saintful spirits of just men made perfect, in the full-fledged glory of the original conception. As a preventive means for the preservation of the entailed muscles and caudal gland from the aggravating spanking incentives to an upright walk, that inflamed the infantile ire of Cain with vengeful hatred against his favored brother Abel -- who had been spared these stern reminders of adaptation to laboring necessity -- it has proved, as with him, a gentle source of pleading deprecation. All the Caucasian neophytes, as well as the Mongolian and Polynesian, who have been subjected to the reconverting agency of the Gibbons missionaries, have shown such an accession of natural affection, that we can no longer doubt its original seat as the source of intelligent expression." [Addressing Father Odorat and the Rev. Rantkin.] "It pleases me to learn that you have volunteered yourselves to become witnesses of the 'exceeding great joy' we have derived from works retranslated from the original seat of an abiding faith, which in curtail brought knowledge and counter-experience into the world for the multiplication of woe.
"Well aware that your attachment to each other is of the order styled repulsive cohesion, which seeks to counteract, by opposing the influence of your individual labors in your lord's vineyards for the fruitful illustration of theoretical ordinances derived from the same source, we shall hold you subject to our exposition before we give you free scope for the exercise of your proselyting abilities.
"As your zeal for counter-labor does not appear to have been abated from your sad experience in Borneo, we shall hold you in probation, for your own good, that you may be enabled to discover whether the human soils of Saar-Soong are adapted to your style of cultivation.
"We hold, with the exampled proof, that happiness can only be derived, and disseminated, from unity, individualized with thought-adaptation for associate contentment; and that speech, with legitimate intention. should be made to subserve as its currency for the expression of harmony. But from your assumed missionary labors and teachings, language is used for controversial opposition, and is, in fact, made to enact the part of agent for demonstrating the repulsive cohesion of selfishness devoted to sectarianism.
"From exact knowledge, obtained through the tested balance of experience, we have practically learned that in conversation the parties speak from impulsive impression, and are rarely, if ever coherent, even when the subject has been matured with thought anticipation; for the individuality of the world has become so partisan in spirit, from long usage, that theory and practice are widely separated in the 'economy' of speaking and acting in the same individual. The effect of this dissonance results from the deference paid to leaden; and expounders, who use language as a blind for the concealment of their own ignorance; their success depending upon the attractive use of words and sentences as a diversion to cover their want of understanding for a clear demonstration. In apt illustration of this fashionable defect patronized by public speakers as a latent resource to be used in emergency, I will relate an instance to the point.
"Doctor Olu and myself landed at Boston, the styled Athens of America.
when we sought relief from travel for domestic bereavement.
"Among our letters of introduction was one addressed to Dr. J.V.C.S., who was then in the height of his popularity as a lecturer to lyceums, a source of 'knowledge' which was becoming fashionable for evening entertainment at the period of our visit. He had just returned from an official visit to an island hospital of the harbor, on the afternoon when we presented ourselves, and letter, for his kind reception.
"Although we received a most cordial greeting, it was easy to discover that a letter he was reading when we entered, was a missive of anxiety, so we apologized and were about to withdraw, which caused him to frankly avow the source of his trouble.
" 'This letter,' he said, 'is an urgent request for me to deliver a lecture before the lyceum at W--b--n, and it warns me that disappointment would be unpardonable; as it is, by special decree, for the anniversary celebration of its foundation. The cause of my embarrassment is, that I have delivered. in course, all my prepared lectures before them; and have but an hour to reach the cars; and am at utter loss for a subject that will enable me to afford them satisfaction upon an occasion so important to their expectations.'
"As strangers, we could suggest no means of extrication, but left on the moment, as the best assurance we could give in aid for his success; promising to call on the morrow to learn the result of his impromptu effort.
"We found him, on the following morning highly elated; and he at once proceeded to give us au account of his lecture expedition and dernier expedient that resulted in success.
"After you left, I hurried home, seized a night- shirt, and newspaper, and had just succeeded in making a secure wrap of the former with the latter, when, with extra exertion, I gained a seat in the moving train. But the half- way station found me in greater perplexity than when I started. and in despair I was about to conjure words for a satisfactory apology; when my eye encountered the paragraph heading: "The Artesian Well of Grenelle," in a few moments I became completely absorbed in its perusal. As it was the first description of the process of Artesian well-boring I had ever read, and had no comprehensive knowledge of the mechanical adjuncts used, it took me a long time to form an idea of the possible method of procedure. But when the committee of arrangements saluted me on our arrival at the terminal depot, my memory had conveyed all the technical terms of the newspaper wrapper paragraph to its use, as the foundation for my evening lecture. With a clear understanding that my success depended upon extreme fluency, I commenced with a geological description of the strata encountered, and when I had sufficiently confused the large audience, and had myself become well warmed for invention, I commenced boring, and in an hour and a half had reached the depth of one thousand nine hundred and fourteen feet, and closed my lecture, receiving salvos of applause of the most enthusiastic description; and when I descended from the rostrum, endured such a round of hand-shaking, and congratulations, that I became tired and dizzy, and was thankful when my reverent host bade me good-night, with the parting compliment: 'Well, doctor, you have done yourself great honor, for they all say that your lecture to-night surpassed all your previous efforts in perspicuity and clearness of description!' Of course, I could return their congratulations with interest; if they possessed sufficient penetration to discover from my description the complicated means employed to sink a shaft, with valve drills, to so great a depth; for with the advantage of a working demonstration I fear that my mechanical genius would fail to comprehend the necessary changes required to overcome the obstacles.'
"As we were traveling to gain a knowledge of the ruling motives of the world of mankind, we were obliged to commend his shill in the use and adaptation of language for the successful enlistment of his hearers' faith in the belief that he imparted to them a clear and tangible description of the process of well-boring; while he, in fact, was sifting word-sentences through his memory for their beguilement, which had only an accidental bearing in approach to reality. But, as he related the circumstances as an illustration of fashionable infatuation in search of an amusing path to practical faith in knowledge, as well as to show his understanding and ability to cope with human nature as a leader for congregated self-imposition, we simply questioned his impressions with regard to the effect likely to be produced by kindred example on the part of public teachers?
"In answer he referred us to Bible teachings and teachers, which he said were in fact the models that had opened to him the way for successful competition in the art of humoring the public as a guide to self-infatuation and submission to faith in the past as a beacon for the future. This self-imposed servitude of the masses to the leading minority could only be humored to keep in the beaten track by faith in the pardoning grace of eloquence for the exposition of the special advantages of opposing sectarian pathways to happiness here and hereafter.
"In answer to our inquiry whether an honest demonstration of self-control for the adaptation of their wants to the simple requirements of nature for self-support in healthy and happy association would not afford a more desirable and beneficent source of direction for his ability, he said that the commonality spoke and acted in association from impulse, and never referred a debatable subject to their own judgment for elucidation, but submitted it to the reverend or his own class for settlement; and their decisions were generally admitted without a self- question of validity or an endeavor to gain from their own resources further information.
"We suggested, in a questionable form, the possibility of effecting a change in habits which, from long proof, were known to be fallacious as a source of happy impression and realization, and related our own successfu1 efforts for the restraint of ultra-savage natures and the inception of a thoughtful era for self-improvement. After a thoughtful silence, he, with a smile, pointed to a patient in his receiving-room whose face was fearfully scarred, and stated that he was a mule-tamer, and that the scars were the grateful perquisites of his profession.
"But in answer to our inquiries for a pleasant country-place of sojourn, where we could learn from a fair representation the habits and customary rites of New England, he referred us to the village of S---- R----, within the suburban limits of the city's influence.
"We found the village pleasantly located between two small lakelets, with a surrounding scenery surpassingly beautiful, and expected to find the inhabitants favorably impressed with the generous frankness of nature. That we might not excite the inquisitive curiosity of the inhabitants of whose speculative tendencies we have been forewarned, we obtained lodging entertainment at a distance from the business centre; and my companion, through fear of exciting their spasmodic sympathies for his redemption from imaginary 'bondage of sin, flesh, and the devil,' on a Sunday or Sabbath-day,' as it was designated in the reverential religious nomenclature of New England, held himself with pagan reserve aloof from their congregations. But this did not save him from their officious desire to make him a convert to their sectarian branches of faith, for he was visited by the representative deacons of the Congregational and Baptist churches; but although he saw manifestations of tail faith, they were contorted from the prehensile beauty of their original orang attachment to the soil's contented purity of desire, and had become adjuvantic aids in sinful conformation, and with their pronged spear- heads were made the back agents for the devilish reprisal of greed.
"The Universalist preacher made him a formal visit; and when he learned the vast superiority of Doctor Olu's intelligence, he frankly acknowledged, 'that they disbelieved, in toto, the divine agency of the Bible, but were obliged to adopt it as a text-book in order that they might obtain a foothold within the pale of Christianity; for when Murray, the originator of the creed, first promulgated the doctrine, the devil's horns, hoofs and tail were believed by all true believers to be the special inheritance of the 'free-thinker,' or the person who would not allow his nose and pocket to be held subservient to the thumb and finger trammels of the Church. By the adoption of this ruse of holy warfare they had been enabled to make convert prisoners of a great number from the kindly disposed classes who were not inclined to foster dispositions for the consignment of their honest neighbors to hell because they would not patronize ridiculous absurdities which have served as relic bones of contention from the time of their birth.' Notwithstanding his apologetic mildness in contrast with the autocratic terms fulminated by the deacons, habit had made him artificial, and his views favored the old system of ingrafting his sect's opinions rather than teaching his hearers the necessity of holding within themselves an auditorial court of advisement for their own direction.
"The tender mercies of Doctor Olu's coolie nature were very much excited in behalf of the forlorn hopes of the children of this willfully benighted people, who, of a Sunday, pursued their triangular faiths (their churches were located at the sharp or acute angles of a common) to their stalls or pews, in the worshiping corrals devoted to the arraignment and ordeal trial of opposing sects for consignment to a brimstone realm of eternal fire. On their way to the separate places of worship neighbors would pass and repass each other without salutation or a nod of recognition, with faces hopefully enshrouded in gloomy joy, as if, with faith anticipation, they were enabled to realize the fulfillment of the auto da f‚ sentences of their awful gala day of the final judgment, and on reaching our 'rooms' he would tearfully embrace me, and then sink despondingly upon his evan (carpet seat) exclaiming, 'Alas! alew! if they could only feel, with a tailful spirit. the regenerating intelligence of adorning grace, sacrificed by Adam and Eve, their first parents, for the illusory gratification of knowledge, prompted by the desires of taste, what a joyful era it would prove for their children. Then, instead of their pendu-queue cast of countenance, looking downcast from out their sinful soils -- with an enforced realizationof total depravity -- what elation, in silent contemplation, their tailful emotions would afford?
"After visiting many other New England towns in search of an indication of the renewed spirit of grace sanctified to the end, we returned in a despairing condition to Boston, and acknowledged, with a sigh when questioned by Dr. S. how we had found things in general -- that his ideas of instruction were well adapted to the liberal capacity of the people for progressive reception, and that they would undoubtedly fulfill the destiny accomplished by Greece and Athens, their much emulated prototypes, and become martyrs to their own zeal in the pursuit of knowledge."
The Retrato of Mr. Leslie was listened. to by Father Odorat and the Rev. Rantkin with emotion that in expression indicated a phase of mind such as we should naturally expect to see developed by two monomaniacs who fancied themselves creative gods, and were engaged in sketching drafts of two opposition worlds they intended to create on the opposing wall-faces of the rotundo apartment of their confinement, when in half-finished circuit their crayons collided. But it was evident from the blank effect of their surprise, that a sane scintillation of thought made them realize the futility of their schemes.
A short religious exhortation by a female Java parrot, entitled, "Stumbling
Blocks," in which she discoursed upon the ordinances of faith and errors
of knowledge, was followed by a missionary hymn, sung by a choir of magpies,
and the retrato closed.
"As to our method, we hold that it is just, to use truth as a caustic to cure the fungus assumptions of impudence, that seeks to impose the contagion of diseased poverty and humiliation as an heirloom upon a majority of the human race, for time and eternity; simply because the records of the past testify that they have been, from self- indulgence, the blind devotees to superstitions invoked from theories improved by the ruling selfishness of the minority from the beginning. We live with the proof that a reciprocating equality, founded upon sympathetic confidence, is a self-assuring evidence of creative approval, that requires no warrant from associate mortality as a guarantee of a happy future.
"To-night I shall speak of the Bible, and its reputed God of Israel, as the creator of its world, but shall not claim for it -- or my interpretation -- your confidence in the belief that either are to be relied upon as exact exponents of truth. For, as with the Chinese and Hindoo versions, it was the object of the priestly devisers to so involve truth, and the reliable traditions of customary habits with mystery, that no vestige of either should appear, unless adapted to fulfill, or subserve, their purposes for subjective oppression. But as the coincident relation of the three, so-called, sacred volumes refer to a creative stage, or evolution of man from a previous state of inception, which they supposed represented a happy existence free from knowledge and care, we will endeavor, for your benefit, to 'reveal' the probable evidences characteristic of the change, divested from the priestly cloud of superstition with which they are involved. Their creation of the world evidently implies a subjective transformation on the part of the then existing antecedent representatives of the human race, which, from a cause, degenerated. from a higher to a lower stage of development, materially and otherwise; and as customary habit is a direct record of events modified in the course of transmission, to be revived again with adjunct characteristics, peculiar to the influences of a cycle period, we can cast from the present a comparatively sure retrospective deduction of influences that ruled the past from the beginning. Of the utter worthlessness of written history, as a vehicle of truth, your own experience can attest; as prejudice warps motives and acts to favor an ever increasing partisan spirit, under the style of patriotism; as the oppressor and oppressed call upon God to vindicate their rights. But after a certain period has elapsed new versions with emendations beget chronological variations, and change of actors, as well as their parts in scenes enacted. Still the fact of enactment lives on, transmitting the habits and usages common to the actors and period.
"The miraculous feats of Joshua, and Balaam's ass, with many others of like import, bespeak a boldness of invention that in transmission might have inspired the authors of Baron Munchausen and the Arabian Nights with a spirit of emulation; and show conclusively that the modern representatives of the Hebrew race are legitimate types of the ancient stock. This fanciful spirit zeal for exaggeration, at times assumes the characteristics of prophetic humor, in realization of the increasing credulity of humanity from the degenerating effects implanted in the soil of mortality from the self-indulgence of tasteful curiosity by Eve, the mother of disobedience! For upon this supposition alone, are we able to account for the gross absurdities which they adventured for the fanatical humiliation of their peoples to become laboring drudges, and exemplars of superstitious servility, which in transmission has reached the present day, and holds, as then, ruling supremacy. To our understanding, habit and traditional custom reveals a truthful record which cannot be gainsaid, and corresponds exactly with the biblical, when divested of the garniture of imposed usage and superflage of historical writers. In evidence of the fact, we will render a plain interpretation of the truthful indications of the biblical record, sustained by the transmitted usages of habit and custom.
"The World, at the Period Developed by the Bible Description of Creation, and for thousands of years subsequent, included the limited space known to the traditional people, or writers of tablet hieroglyphics, or word portrayals of passing events. For a descriptive counterpart, the Cusconian record of the advent of Mauna Loa and Luna, the son of the sun and daughter of the moon, affords an American parallel, in verification of traditional authority, establishing the limited views of aboriginal thought for the conception of creative power in the magnitude of first degree. Of the Chinese and Hindoo rendition, the moderately learned in past usage, and traditional superstitions, are well acquainted, and know how closely they are imitated by the Hebrew, Greek and Roman mythologists. The Egyptian, as well as those indicated, bears evidence, with its memorial monuments, to the inhumanity of these gods of mortal devisement, whose creations are limited to their overruling power for the servile subjection of their kind to the most degrading debasement, in utter disregard to the kindly sympathies that invoke an affectionate perception of the realities coexistent with an impression of immortality. We will pass the specialties of Israel's god creations, as of too trivial an invention to indicate any natural event, until the announcement of man's creation out of the dust of the earth, and the process by which he was made living soil. At this point there is an implied distinction that converts man's element of vitality into an higher order of worth than the animals of the god's previous creation; but the source of their vital endowment is not specified, or quality distinguished, while that of man was imparted directly from the breath of his creator. Upon this process, supposed to be a special endowment, the Hebrew recorder has established an alliance with the created creator of his devisement; which has
been rendered, by an evident misnomer, soul, instead of living soil, a designation intended to denote the source from which the body's material was derived. By referring to the encyclopedia. of word and habit derivations, this and many similar ingrafts will be found to render the casuistical object distinctions apparent. It will, also, inform you that Lord God was used in addressing the highest potential rank of Israelitish designation, at a later historical period, and was equivalent -- in excess of our modern reverential phrase, your most illustrious Highness -- to an expression of the most abject submission of the subject to the will of an absolute sovereign, who can create and destroy. Again, it was a common, and in effect literal, expression of a courtier in approaching the throne of Tippoo Saaib, the Tiger of Mysore, to exclaim, -- " by your breath we live!"
"The description of the garden of Eden is altogether too characteristic of mortality to require an explanatory observation. But the name of the first river, Pison, that watered the garden, and encompassed the land of Havilah' 'where there is gold,' has in derivation and present usage, a peculiarly characteristic signification, especially in connection with the verse enumeration of precious stones, as in source and effect suggestive of cause or means of punishment for the selfish greed of disobedient desire, manifested by your Israelitish first parents. The use made of man, and restrictions placed upon his acts by the Lord God of Israel, indicates in a potential degree the relations of a supreme master and serf in the patriarchal stage of first development.
"The terms of reservation placed upon the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil was, in characteristic investment, a reflection of the superstitious agency employed by potential priestcraft for the protection of products designed for special appropriation under the style of property, in contra distinction to common allotment in ratio of garnered usage. In the next stage of relation, the Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone; I will make a help meet for him; and he brought the beasts and fowls of the air for Adam to name, but did not find among them a help meet for him; so he planned and executed a prestegic surprise, and produced a woman, which Adam in the honey-moonshine of present satisfaction pronounced a bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh; and prophesied that man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife; but the relation of father and mother does not appear to have been made known to him in the context. They were clothed in the then fashionable garb of nature known to our
orang exemplars, and were not ashamed. The succinct rendering of these scriptural passages of the Israelitish recorder would seem to imply that the Lord God of Israel was a pioneer settler in Ethiopia, and had passed the transition stage from the pre-his-toric orang, and after planting his garden eastward, in Eden, found no subjective laborers of his own kind, and proceeded to indoctrinate a native orang into the office of garden-keeper of the fruit trees. But he knew that in the spiritualized ideas of contented equality he would not be subjected to restraint without a companion, and with one, they would not be the respectors of the rights of special property reservation, in their unitized condition, from the effects of curious desire, incited from intercourse and cultivated reflection. Still to a master who had been initiated into the pains and penalties of all upright position, and walk upon the ground, holding in possession a plantation of fruit trees upon which he was dependent for daily support a long tailed orang would prove a valuable acquisition, if he could be made to recognize the well-grounded claims of an inferior to hold him in subjection as a gatherer of fruit. To accomplish this important protective right of reservation of the choice fruits for his own use, it became necessary to impress his prototype keepers of the garden, with the penalties of transgression. This was undoubtedly effected in the first instance by warnings in the primitive language of signs, such as I imposed upon our aboriginal descendents before subjecting them to the algaroth penalty for transgression. But it appears, from scriptural text, that the Lord God Master of the plantation possessed a knowledge of the means employed for effecting his own tailless transformation, and had resolved to reduce them to a like condition if he could not hold them in tailful subjection; or by curtailing, convert them to his own likeness, and thus hold them within reach of his control. As in ’sop's fable illustrations, it was the custom of the orientals in 'virtue' of originality in the sound derivation of speech, from baƒ and maƒ of the kid, to furnish expression from their own language acquirements, to the animals who enacted counter-parts in the scenes of life.
"Before and after the initiatory education of Adam and Eve, the serpent and Balaam's ass afford notable instances of this custom in biblical relation. In this light we must accept the dialoguic conversation that is reported to have taken place between the Lord God Master and Adam and Eve after he had reduced them from full-fledged tree flight to man and woman, as ground-tenants and laborers subject to the toils and turmoil imposed by the task-master. The serpent is metaphorically made to represent the credulity -- persuasive influence for beguilement and deceptive subterfuge of woman, and in sentence truthfully depicts with prophetic radiance the woes derived from experience in the path of knowledge by man. But these traits, you must recollect, were brought into play after their disobedience, when they became subject to the barter influence of selfishness, for as we know, from traveled observation, woman's influence for good or evil is illimitable on either extreme. The signification of words can be easily traced to source of derivation. as Pison the name of the river in which gold and the precious stones were found, and we have cordial of modern usage from caudal, the tail, a word expressing warmth in kindly greeting. Biblical personal names of Genesis, as well as those which distinguish emotions and acts, discover a primitive period of emergence from a silent method of expression, and we can readily understand from the means employed to impress infancy with the nominal relation of things to useful and other purposes, the source of word distinctions and phrase jointures for sentence connection in the initial stage of language communication. Indeed, we have found in our communication with the descendant representatives of the tailful period of Adam's innocence, that this inductive method was necessary to establish a recognition of the useful relation of sound for the indentification of objects and appliances. Hyperbolic comparison for the illustration of intangible intention and vague impression which follows as a ruling license of phrase and sentence initiation, abounds in the opening chapters of the Bible's recorded traditions.
"The sentence verses, in like manner, indicate tablet record from memorials of primitive tradition; and frequent repetition shows the lack of even this doubtful resource for making apparent, in sequence connection, the events dimly shadowed by the primitive conceptions of speech. Even at the present day, with the facilities of grammatical expression, and condensation for the voluminous dispensations of 'lightning' printing presses; you find that with the multiplied millions of books issued in kind, the mathematical accuracy of your public officials accounts are unreliable If, at the present day, after the recorded experience of untold ages, you are unable to realize the truth from the factitious glossings of selfish deception; is it reasonable for us to construe traditional records, of uncertain date and authority, detailed with fabled absurdity, and in direct contradiction to the evidence of truthful test, other than by the indications that they furnish for belief?
"Before we glean the proofs to substantiate the transition of Adam from an orang state of contentment, as a tree, realm tenant, it will perhaps prove more satisfactory to extend a cursory glance into the ruling economy of the gradually developed contemporary races; which, if the accepted version of the Christian advocates is true, must have derived their origin from him as the common father. From our Indian traditions, and sacred records of a date supposed to be contemporary with those of biblical relation, all the terms of godhead, therein used, were applied with still greater extravagance to those in vogue with the Israelites. Idol representation of the godhead, for the establishment of priestly intercessors, with ritual mysteries for communication, were identical in expression; although subject to caste and sectarian variations peculiar to the habits of tribes and peoples. Prophets and soothsayers in kindred type to Moses and Aaron were common, but the infatuations of cycle degeneration wrought more rapid changes and opposing dissensions, with the offshoots of the Hebrew, than with the Chinese and Indian races. Indeed, there are many assimilating characteristics, described in the traditional records of the Bible, which bespeak for the Israelites a Tartar origin, and a return and reassimilation of the lost tribes with the original stock.
"The Lord God Almighty of the Israelites was first supported in the assumed divinity of creative power by direct revelation to an intercessor through the terrible voice of the thunder-cloud and its lightning demonstrations of anger; and as the highest mountains overtopped these gloom-enveloped seats of celestial majesty, they were made the mediums of interview between the heaven and earth-born, either by priests or prophets, who claimed the favored agency of divine power. Mount Moriah, both of Thibetstan and Assyrian designation, also Sinai and Olympus (Stromboli), were, from present evidences, active volcanoes at the reputed biblical date of the world's creation; also during the subsequent periods of revelation developed by the many approved mythologies adopted by tribes and nationalities, and they served to increase the mysterious facilities of priest and prophet craft for imposing upon the credulity of the people. If this imposition, which is craved as a solace assurance by the superstitious, had been devoted to holding them in subjection for their own good until they could command themselves for an appreciation of the realizing effects of affection as a source of grateful confidence for united reciprocation, it might have received in tolerative atonement a negative degree of approbation. But as it was used for the profane usurpation of selfish power to aid in making miserable the masses and holding them in debased subjection for poverty-stricken multiplication; to toil in rearing memorial monuments to perpetuate their own delusions, which still hold arbitrary sway, it should be the self-encouraged duty of all who desire to realize in life an abiding foretaste of immortality to make a decisive effort for the emancipation of future generations. To accomplish an end so important that it surpasses calculation, we have only to hold ourselves personally amenable to a trusting reliance upon supreme creative power, with a thankful feeling of joyful assurance in the well-approved belief that it has placed happiness within our reach if we use consistent means for its realization. The object of our creation and habitable subjection to the hitherto debatable choice of right and wrong, which in adventure are rarely confirmed by experience as absolute, will at least be retained as a creative arcanum until our race adaptation has been matured for the arbitration of his infinite approval. All who are desirous of realizing truthful impressions should be immeasurably grateful that all the religious records of ceremonial worship bear such palpable evidence of selfish human intention. From Genesis to 'Revelations,' in the biblical record, whatever there is that is clear to sane comprehension, shows a disposition to render humility a synonym of degradation and foolishness, a prize worthy of attainment and the means of salvation.
"Those who require other evidence than the confirmation of their own judgments, to render a different verdict, are deserving of the misery its worshipful belief has ever entailed, But as a book of humorous sarcasm and irony, deposed in tacit and often in open and bold ridicule of its blind and subjective faith-believing worshippers, it is incomparable. In evidence of this self-evident fact, the serpent-beguiler of Eve, Balaam's speaking ass. Joshua's obedient sun and moon, and the miracles of the New Testament, are sufficient proofs for the attestation! The christian sects deplore the forlorn condition of India's and China's Buddhist symbolical worshipers of the long-tailed orang progenitors of the human race, who number four hundred and fifty millions out of the earth's total of twelve hundred and fifty. This grand proportion -- which was still greater before the incursive eras of Tartar and Arabian invasion -- were united in reverence to Buddha as the great exemplar of sympathetic and kindly affection, supposed to be the inherent attributes of their primal orang ancestors, before their fall imposed a knowledge of good and evil, from the opposing interests of ground cultivation of the soil, and sequence art facilitations for ground residence comfort.
"There is certainly a complaisant assurance of confidence in these demonstrative acts of grace in our behalf, when we consider the lack of union among the christian sects at home; and the great preponderance of worse than pagan scoffers, who do not hesitate to curse and swear in vituperation of their own worshipful divinities." [Addressing the two Missionaries.] "Did you never reflect, while you were subject to the task-master usage of the Malays, upon the ridiculous parts you had been enacting as missionaries in endeavoring to subvert the effect of each other's labors? But you need not bow your heads with shame, if in the recognition of the truth you can realize that the tearing down disposition of creeds for the rearing of others upon their ruins is but a type-exemplar reflection of the marine policy of the fishy inhabitants of the ocean. With nearly a century and. a half's observation devoted to the study of civilized humanity's claims to happy superiority, I can truly say that for a realizing perception of affection's boundless capacity for present exaltation, and immortal extension, I found but very few who appeared to acknowledge its supremacy, or were capable of deriving from instinct its allotment of enjoyment. The inventors are the active gods for civilized creation, but are overreached and subjected to the ruling sway of the god of self, who assumes the attributes of all- creative supremacy and dispensation; and before the introduction of patent encouragement, was generally successful in reducing the thoughtfully skillful to the most abject poverty, from the heedless effect that invests inventive inspiration and renders it oblivious to the ways and means of 'business speculation.' The dark ages -- which were ushered in by the supremacy of christianity over paganism, causing, by the dissensions wrought, the downfall of the Roman empire and the substitution of the Roman Pontiff hierarchy -- uprose from the arbitrary absorption and control of inventive genius, by making it subservient to the interests of the church.. This inquisitorial supervision of intellect, although no longer subject to the dictatorial control of a supreme pontiff and consistorial adjuncts, still exists in a diffused, but no less tyrannical form for the suppression of all and every innovation that conflicts with the name of religion and its self-confuting observances. This ordeal of superstitious infatuation in re- enactment, shows a congregation appreciation of experience which I saw aptly illustrated during my last visit to the Pacific coast.
"Having Heard Many Surprising Anectodes Related, showing the great instinctive sagacity of the grizzly bear, I sought an opportunity to verify one, that advocated his humorous knowledge of clownish attainments, for the entertainment of herds in the style of burlesque imitation adopted by the circus functionary; receiving as a reward for his proficiency the ration fee afforded by the missionaries to the Fejee islanders. An old vaquero huntsman, learning that I was a native of India, the land of the tiger and elephant, and withal was an accomplished juggler, introduced himself; and, after I had entertained him, to his enthusiastic satisfaction, promised to afford me abundant opportunity for the gratification of my desire to study the instinctive habits of the world's champion bear.
"On the morning of the day appointed, we started at an early hour for a mountain valley a day's journey to the southeast from the town of San Diego, and camped for the night in a glen that added odor to Virgil's description of a nocturnal bear concert. As I had heard so many stories of their fearless find reckless bravado, I felt inclined to demur from an introduction into their special haunts and quarters, that evidently lacked the usual means of a double outlet for ventilation, But my companion assured me that he was well known to the community, and that the old bears would respect his presence, and after a little show of dudgeon would find an opening to air themselves without beating up our quarters. 'Besides,' he added, as a reminder of my expressed desire to study their habits intimately, 'you could not get an idea of their 'cuteness' if we did not put them up to a trick or two extra, with an understanding that we have come on a business contract in which they are to play a part.'
"In confirmation of his correct judgment, after an hour's growling discussion, at varied points of view, more or less remote from our camp; which had been chosen from its niche-like cavity that commanded the entrance to the canyon, at its narrowest part, which an ample fire of brush-wood effectually closed, the bear junta dispersed.
"At daybreak, after refreshing ourselves in accordance with the customary habits derived from instinctive education peculiar to race divergence, we mounted our horses, and as we rode out of the ca¤on the hunter, to show me that he was a studied adept in the prescience of bearcraft, described positions in which I should be enabled to obtain a head view of the reconnoitering objects of our visit, and observe the effect produced when he pointed them out with his rifle.
"In exact counterpart to his revelation the bear's head appeared, and when he directed my attention to each. with his rifle, instead of withdrawing their heads, or in a half-reared impetus turning upon the pivot of their hind legs, like the other species, they turned bodily round with an awkward movement that gave me an impression that aboriginal bear tactics had not been derived from contemporary Indian example, or civilized cultivation, as they each endeavored to cover their rears in retreat. Calling my companion's attention to this peculiarity, he smiled, as he advised me that it was a sexual feature of distinction in movement that was alike common to all the grades of female animality that had come within the range of his observation; at least those who made any pretense to the ownership of a tail; but as spies for seeing all that was to be seen, from bush or vale, they were far more cute than thc males, yet for working up a course of safety, at the best, they were poor 'toots,' and had no more discretion to avoid exposure than I had seen in the bear exhibition. 'But,' said he, 'for a real sanctified fight to obtain maternal atonement in revenge for the loss of her cubs she will generally outrival the most fierce of her sex, yet I have seen specimens who have "turned tail" and left their young a prey to the hunter when of a helpless age, and have threatened to shoot the recreant mother at sight as I took her progeny in charge for wet nursing. Appearances are deceptive. This "saw" I have seen verified in the grizzly, as well as in woman, and especially in the case referred to, for when, on the following morning, I offered my adopted foundlings the cow pap they had greedily sucked on the previous day, it was refused, not, however, from daintiness; this I readily discovered from their playful fullness, and suspecting the source from which their nutriment was derived, watched and caught the mother in the act of nursing her supposed castaways, or abandoned offspring. This sagacious manifestation of intelligent trust raised the grizzly's instinct considerably in my estimation, and when she added gratitude in sparing my herds I determined to devote a little more attention to the development of the species' characteristics, and am sorry to say that I have found the male brute a complete specimen of selfishness."
"The vaqueros on the third day after our seeming departure from the grizzly haunt, drove a herd of cattle into the valley of the bear canyon and left them to their own care, and on the following, a grizzly clown gave his first entertainment.
"Ensconsed in ambush on a hill peak that overlooked the valley, in an opposite direction from the canyon, with a field-glass I gained an excellent view of the grizzly clown's movements while selecting a favorable point of attraction for the commencement of his performances. His first act was in the opossum role. Having gained the summit of a small hillock in his natural character, unobserved by the herd which was lazily feeding at a short distance from its base, he suddenly uprose so that his shadow would be cast from the rising sun into the faces of the cattle, and then succeeded by a series of truly comical attitudes in attracting their attention. This accomplished, he rolled himself into a lumpish opossum-like similitude to the school- bay's toe-trundle, and commenced his approach by rolling in zig-zag course down the slope. On reaching the level ground, he took an observation from beneath his shaggy paws, to see the effect produced by his performance. The herd audience, when their gaze was first attracted by his grotesque gesticulations, which appeared to represent in pantomimic burlesque the herdsman, and in shadowy extension gigantic reach, half averted their heads and raised their tails, as if diverted in hesitation between amused curiosity and panic fear, but ready for the crisis to be determiner by the actor's subsequent movements. Bruin seemed to be aware that the success of his game depended upon his next stage of proceedings, and that a long delay, sufficient for the leaders of the herd to recover from their amazement, would result in a battle; so he ventured a sort of hand-spring series of turning gymnastics, measuring his length toward them with each revolution. The herd received this act of the programme with snorts and flourish of tails, and as they commenced crowding to the front and extending the circuit it was evident that amused curiosity was gaining the ascendency over fear. When their attention was fairly engrossed, he began to make his approaches to the victim he had selected for slaughter, and when near enough to insure certainty, he pounced with a shambling but quick spring upon the neck of the cow and prostrated her, while instead of throttling to stop her bellowing fright, he encouraged it with growls, with the seeming intention of effecting a panic dispersion of the herd with the bulls in lead, a result that quickly followed. He then dispatched his victim, and was soon joined by his companions who had been waiting at different points with anxious expectations for the successful conclusion of his comic prelude and tragedy. When mustered to the number of four they managed to convey the body to the canyon without leaving a trail, which was significant of forethought for future provision.
"My companion assured me that it was a rare occurrence for two bears to engage in an enterprise of the kind, as they were generally inclined to lead a solitary life.
"For the three following days the same scene was re-enacted, without any increase of suspicious alarm, or abatement of curious interest on the part of the audience herd; but as four cows had been sacrificed to show that cattle are as little inclined to profit by experience as humanity, the halo was transferred to a distant and more safe pasturage, where they would not be dependent upon grizzlies for amusement.
"With this, by no means exaggerated, illustration of the profitless use humanity has made of past experience, I will now introduce for your consideration a chata reflection of hopeful regeneration from an abiding and conscious faith in the atoning merits of tail grace as an expiating medium of salvation from the penalty of knowledge, with and without experience. But as the casual, yet all- sufficient, comparative review of the unreliable nature of Bible testimony from the mystic involvement of traditionary fact with selfish rites and ceremonies, has nearly exhausted our allotted time, we will defer the important subject of hereditary tail impressions until to-morrow evening."
OUR KUBU ORANG EVENING ENTERTAINMENT proved exceedingly attractive, as a tree-hand-ballet party gave a performance under orchestral direction, that exhibited in a lively manner many aboriginal traits of germ-manic gymnastry. The younger Kubu dryads were especially happy in the display of their natural graces, and as they had all been subject to missionary conversion under the manipulating hands of the Gibbons presbyters, their incipient caudiality gave an unspanked piquancy to their agility, which sufficed for the enlightened conviction of Father Oderat and the Rev. Mr. Hantkin, who appeared, for the occasion, to be sensibly impressed with their regenerating influence. For my own part, I must say, that for the first time I felt the revivifying influence of the caudal spirit that inspired Kan Avan's emotional inquiry on board of the Lorcha Martha, and recalled to my mmd the singular and wonderful endowment of his sister Bridget for an enlightened perception of my lost condition. But I found consolation in the thought that her abounding grace would open the fount of pity in supplication to the throne of grace for my hopeful conversion in the tail extension of faith, that I might believe and be saved when weighed in the balance and found wanting. The assurance of her affectionate
sympathy caused me to reflect upon the great privileges that I enjoyed, and how I might best impart the substance of my caudal faith regeneration to the poor sinfully benighted christian races, whose uncultivated soils were devoted to the idol worship of artificial tail memorials, which were the inspirations of vanity rather than the spirit regeneration of entailed impressions. When I recalled the labor bestowed upon the heads and hacks of our females for external adornment, and ritual expression of a halting hereditary impression which lacked faith for the discernment of the true seat of happy contentment -- I felt a longing desire to be made the means for their enlightenment.
The tout-ensemble of the balletists, as they appeared in their first endowment of skin vestments, although lacking in the rounded contour esteemed by our artificially depraved tastes as an essential for the realization of beauty, was extremely attractive from the enhancement of graceful action moving in harmony with musical melody. My prejudices had been amused by Kan Avan's hallucination, which implied the possibility of imparting an hereditary realization of tail faith through the interceding grace of associate impression upon the mother at a susceptible period without supposing for an instant that the relic germ of a tail remained for organic extension and functional revivification. But there is nothing like the adaptability of an object to an end for the annulment of prejudice and the reconciliation of reason for the adoption of the most startling revelations. The graceful semi-aerial evolutions of these relict-germ orang balletists, clothed in Nature's primitive garb, with their regenerated index tails, with gentle curve pointing upwards in contrast with the civilized stage-actors of pedal display, appeared like angels in pin-feathers preparing for a full fledged flight.
The mother of Loftus Leslie, in divination of my thoughts, challenged my judgment in question whether to my honest appreciation these Kubu converts did not approach nearer to my conceptions of the natural requirements in evolution for angelic flight than the most fashionably devout Christian belle that I had ever seen in Sunday paraphernalia, listening, self-engrossed, to the sentential platitudes of a preacher. The rehearsal of my thoughts excited a smile of pleasure as she reminded me that these representatives of regeneration, as well as the tailful Presbyter Gibbons, the missionary promoters of incipient reconversion, had undoubtedly in renewed and original endowment but a faint perception of the beatific contentment possessed by the primitive originals before the sinful lapse of contemporary races produced an upright walk, and the laboring seeds of enmity fostered in Cain from Mother Eve's partial preference shown in awarding his brother Abel the nominal task of shepherd.
"For," she continued, "you can judge of the effect of example, from the counter-influence of our kindly association with the Gibbons, who really recognize our well disposed endeavors to make experience conducive for the exact realization of knowledge, and the suppression of prejudice which has induced inimical habits in repudiation of the gentle influences coincident with our first estate. Of course, you can now realize, from experience, that a predominating spirit of oppression, exercised over the most gentle and submissive beings, will in time beget a spirit of retaliation, which causes self-depreciation; this, as with the opposite influence, can be traced to the lowest degree of sentient animality. We endeavor to set, from self- legislation, any individual example of affection, that in reciprocation will discover, for amendment, without reproof, its own defects. As from the test of experience, we consider, that to love, and be loved, is the highest degree of mortal attainment, and that, in itself, it is an emotion independent of the body's soil: in effect it must extend to every sentient creation capable of reciprocation, and bear in its degree harmonious fruit. If the traditional foundation of truth is carefully separated from its mysterious investment of ceremonial rites, peculiar to Israelitist record, the Bible relation, in allusion to creative events, will be found to refer directly to religion as the curse of knowledge that would defy correction from experience! As in tracing its course, we find that the superstitious masses have been blindly chained to render task-labor for the temporal supremacy of priest craft; which in compensation and for the continuance of its potential sway, subjects its votaries to the recognition of intercessor superiority, in preaching and praying negotiations with the Supreme Being, above their own individual capacity. Thus, in the most blasphemous manner, by arrogating the power of confession and absolution, they assume the attributes of the Creator, while, self-convicted, they stand exposed for the discernment of their dupes, in likeness, as the depicted serpent-beguilers of Eve, If the poor of our race would consult in thought, with their own judgments, for experienced self-legislation, they would soon obtain convincing evidence that happy realization was an inherent power, founded upon affectionate self-control for the interest of confidence, compounded in usage from reciprocation. Your experience has already discovered that we have reduced labor to an interesting and amusing pastime, from an example that cultivates kindred equality for the enhancement of common interest, and through it individual enjoyment. If your peoples would withhold themselves from club and congregation assemblies, and make family association a more general means of enjoyment, and become exemplar playmates and teachers to their own children, an equality realization would be the immediate result, in exaltation from the reverence now paid to a stable manger birth. We do not depreciate, or ritually ennoble a person, who from vicarious circumstances happened to be lowly born, in the schedule estimation of society; but with exampled proof extend to them the right-hand of fellowship, in the reality of reciprocation, and in freedom from ceremonial mummeries. In defiance of past experience, which shows in continued train the poverty subjection of the worshipers of all sects, in the majority, to a labor-gained pittance, and military subserviency in union to church and state, the delusion for self-martyrdom is still augmented by 'reforms' derived from re-enactments of old scenes new-glossed to suit the emergency. These are promulgated by agitators, reformers, and sensational theorists, who create a momentary excitement in aid of political, and other leaders who have an object to gain, and make such use of the laborer as will subserve their purpose, and then cast him off with as little regretful thought as they would a Chinese shuffle slipper of straw. When this reckless disregard of self-provisionary thought becomes suddenly surprised with a periodical business blight, occasioned by a forced or over-stocked market, and wages sink to the limits of a bare existence; then the workmen's strikes inaugurate starvation and charity doles, which in taming effect forces whines of 'gratitude!' and submission, but no foresight for the prevention of a like occurrence. Of the stupendous causes, which unheeded by the masses inaugurate these poverty stricken periods, the late Russian Holy War against Turkey furnishes an apt illustration.
"Christian Russia covets Constantinople, and has found many pretexts in past times to make it a prize of war, but has always failed in her attempts to subjugate the Turk, and, alone, would have failed in the last effort. The cause of the war was the alleged maltreatment of doubtful Christians; if the persecution had been proved its abatement could have been permanently effected by the combined powers of Europe, without bloodshed. But the 'peace and good' will of Christianity has ever proved a theoretical placebo of prayer with nations as well as individuals, and the policy of contingent expectations that animated the ministerial cabinets of the countries whose collateral interests pleaded hopeful gain invoked the pious ‘gis to cloak their motives and excuse their inaction. There was, however, little necessity for disguise, as the hereditary impression of subject liberty and patriotism had become callous in the shackle grooves worn by the collar of servitude, so that the Church and State had but little difficulty in reconciling public comprehension to bear the imposition of new taxes and prospective levies for the warful expression of counter- growls of intimidation over the anticipated dissection of infidel Turkey. Russia, at first doubtful, allowed her pious zeal for the distressed Christians to lag, while with her best diplomatic art she put forth her strength to discover the bearings of the danger her enterprise would be likely to provoke. When well satisfied that her ultimate gain, with the assurance of non interference, would exceed her liabilities, new atrocities were denounced as having been committed by the Turks, and the holy war commenced. With all the discouragement that Christian Europe opposed to the prejudice of Turkey's success, the God of War favored her cause, until Gold, the most high and universal Creator, worshiped by humanity corrupted her officers and forced her to have recourse to the terms of extreme unction.
"Russia gained, with the sacrifice of a hundred thousand machine manipulators of rifles and cannon, styled human and soul endowed, a prospective view of the Persian Gulf, and when Poverty, the recruiting sergeant and litter-ary father of the peasant and soldier, shall have refilled the ranks of his supreme autocratic Czar Godhead's Christian army with a sufficient overplus of zealous patriots desirous of enriching the desert wastes and rose valleys of Persia with their Russian soils, a pretext will be found to secure for them the glorious prize of martyrdom. If the knowledge gained by experience had been treasured with studious diligence from the date of man's sinful decaudalization recorded in the 'Bible,' down to the present epoch with the care we endeavor to bestow for the behoof of all, it would have yielded, in compound interest, such a realization of happy confidence that earthly enjoyment would have ignored the necessity of faith for the joyful impressions of immortality. Indeed, my dear Mr. Shawtinbach, you can rest assured that nothing less than the true Gibbons' missionary method of reconverted reformation will ever be able to restore mankind to a caudial impression of their present essential lack of the prehensile means with which to lay hold of the promises of redeeming grace for salvation from the woes of selfishness. Convert Babi has testified that he found the most popular writer of New England's Christian 'Stumbling Blocks' utterly devoid of a tailful impression of regeneration, and so lost to its merits as a source of redeeming grace and atonement, that her writings, from a lack of its sympathetic impression, imparted the idea of composition from the word and sentence siftings of Christian authors. In truth, he said, that she had become so callous to the divine inspirations of the original tailful state, and mechanical in her departure, that she reminded him of a female automaton, whose ordinance works of grace required to be wound up once in every twenty- four hours, and in kind the conference joys expressed by the Christians of New England for the final salvation of the world seemed, in lugubrious expression to say -- with the assumed possession of the Gibbons' powers of conversion -- 'You wish to have us pray for your regeneration in faith to save you from perdition; we can, but it is only through the sanctifying influence of the holy spirit that our prayers can be made effectual for your salvation, and we feel that we are as nothing in the balance with faith, and that you are powerless to help yourself. We pity you, but many there will be who shall cry, "Lord, lord!" but he will answer, "Get you hence and be damned.' "
"How vastly superior in ennobling impression is our trustful reliance in the Creator, whose immensity of power makes us realize that His providence has furnished indications for our happy direction, with the assurance that experience can be made profitable for present enjoyment in forecast for immortality. Knowing the mutability of our knowledge attainments, we feel that the cause shadowed by the Bible's traditional record, indicates a change of intention in evolution from high to low degree, in caste, while in the balance of tadtail suspension. The traditional impressions, hereditary with women and fostered by man, afford decisive evidence that the tail was intended for the full development of winged flight; when fledged with the original attachments intended to correspond with those of the arms as wings. This natural fact is made evident from the transmitted angelic idea of re- conversion into the original form designed for high caste evolution, in which state a fledged tail would be actually indispensable, as without it, flight could not be directed. Even in an unfledged state it clothes the person of animality as with a garb of grace, and without it nakedness appears and shames the loser and beholder. You have caught glimpses of an unhappy race of once beautiful Maltese cats, with whom this tailless defect, incurred from poison has become hereditary. The original pair was imported by Dr. Olu Babi senior, who with the gentle affection of the Malabar coolie, cultivated a return that rivaled his own in confiding trust. A sketch of the incidents attending the loss of the tail of the progenitorial mother of the now tailless progeny I will relate to you, as they illustrate in a remarkable way the biblical description of our first parent's decaudalization.
"The Maltese Cat, as well as the tortoise-shell tabby, are aboriginal natives of India proper, and are superior in size and intelligence to other species. The pair introduced by Dr. Olu he selected while kittens, from a litter whose parents were augur cats in the temple of Yemlu, about seventy doulacks (equivalent to 11/3 English miles) from the Persian city of Yezd in Irak. Although of religious parentage, and divinity mediums for priestly consultation, on their arrival at the Holm their frolicksome vivacity quite astonished the sedate dutch tabbies, and frequently received cuffs of admonition from the large cream-colored and curly fur[r]ed shah cats of the true Persian breed. But these feline rebuffs in noways intimidated the Maltese, but seemed to add spirit to their roguish pranks, and they soon became the general favorites of the household, and enlisted the admiration of the entire orang family, the younger members of which soon became so enwrapt with their tailful glee that they made morning pilgrimages to the enclosure for the devotional gratification of curiosity. As they increased in growth one or both would accompany Dr. Olu in his morning visits, and as with the Doctor, would often combine business with pleasure and mouse in the plantations. While engaged in watching for the surprise of the rodents, they would be watched in turn by the young orangs, whose interest in their success was manifested by the attention they paid to the languaged movement expression of the cats' tails.
"One morning, when accompanied by Miss Puss, who was attended as usual by a train of young orangs, the doctor halted to give some directions to those who were engaged in distributing melons to the Gibbons chang. Puss, to occupy the time profitably, found a freshly-excavated mouse habitation, and immediately assumed the watchful attitude peculiar to her species, with her tail moving in swayful expression of the absorbing attraction of her attention to the object of her pursuit. A plantain snake, approaching silently from the rear observed the movement of the tail, and apparently heedless of its nether attachment, gently seized its point, and with retractions incorporated nearly a third part of its length with his own body, before puss became aware of the restraint placed upon her emotional index. The young orangs, who were bestowing upon her movements their watchful regards, detected the object of the snake, the moment its head appeared waving in concert with the tail of the cat. To warn their favorite of the threatened danger to the member held by them in reverential admiration, they tried every device known to their limited experience. At last, when they found that her attention was too intently absorbed to heed their warnings, or notice their swinging approaches to her body, and the swallowing throes of the revolting addition, that had already obtained a hold upon her tail, they enlisted the aid of their elders for her rescue, who in turn attracted the doctor's attention to the scaly act of incorporation of the snake's length to the tail of his favorite cat. But puss had already discovered the loathsome extension, and, with a startling mew of cat-anguished fear, sprang forward to supplicate his aid, but was so panic stricken she baffled his attempts to step upon the coiling reptile. Becoming delirious with fear, she commenced running in and out from the bushes, with spitting cries, jumping to and fro to prevent the reptile from coiling around her body, upon which its motions seemed intent. The doctor tried in vain to control puss with his voice, so that he could lay hold of the reptile with his hand, knowing well that her life depended upon the quick accomplishment of the separation, and ligature application at the coccygeal junction, to prevent the body's absorption of the poison; for the plantain snake is a distant relative of the cobra manilla, and its fang's injection is equally poisonous. When about to relinquish the chase in despair, there dropped from a teconia branch, under which puss passed in her wild course, a young Kubu maiden, of a clear olive complexion, who seized the now glittering reptile, and with a peculiar motion disengaged its hold, and in a trice snapped its head from its body. Puss, relieved from the self- engrafted length of tail, commenced a series of laughable gyrations, seemingly in pursuit of, and for the reprehension of, her tail, for allowing a union so repugnant to its nature, for she cuffed it in motion with spiteful spittings, but was careful to keep its slimy end from coming in contact with the fur of her body. Attributing these dervish gyrations to an excess of joy for her deliverance, the orangs in sympathy commenced wheezing and grinning in a paroxysm of delight. When she had exhausted her strength, the doctor applied the ligature, and 'Sagee,' after submitting quietly to the operation, started for home trailing with disgust the desecrated member of her pride in the dust, as an attrition source of purification, the Gibbons' following her with manifestations of strong sympathy.
"Some hours after, the doctor, on his way home, while crossing the Glen-brook footbridge, had his attention attracted by a faint mew, and, looking over the railing, discovered puss in the hands of her deliverer, who was endeavoring to wash the fur of the tail free from its poisonous pollution. When completed to her satisfaction, she placed Sagee in the doctor's arms with a real smile of gratification, which made her face look beautiful, notwithstanding its original type, derived from exampled expression. Doctor Olu is not only compassionate in the full strength of Hindu capacity, but possesses a refinement of affection beyond comparison. Yet, with all his manifestations of kindly sympathy, he has an unusually keen perception for ludicrous appreciation, which finds expression in the rolling undertow of emotional laughter characteristic of the fun-enjoying coolie. To the superficial observer he would appear impassable to emotional impressions in his ordinary mood; but whenever there is animal life for human compassion his instinctive imagination is ever on the alert for the detection of mankind's ridiculous incongruities, with a marked sympathy for the inferior grades, unless educated from birth under the prejudicial influence of civilized selfishness. Doctor Olu Babi inherited and has preserved his highly cultivated humorous predilections, with the infectious power of imparting and prolonging in action the subdued influence, so that in company it could only be detected by the initiated. Sagee well understood all the doctor's idiosyncrasies, and when she saw and felt that her tail-fallen condition had excited these emotions she could ill brook the levity, but gave a reproachful 'miou, et tu!' cuff, and sprang from his arms. The doctor, feeling the justness of the reproof, checked his mirth, and recalled her in the soft tremulous accents of sympathizing pity, that ever proves a solace to instinct in sickness and sorrow. Puss, with perhaps a feeling of dependency upon his skill for the retrievement of her imperiled tail, followed him home in cat- fallen despondency, with her pride trailing in the dust of humility in as reckless disregard for its preservative purity as a modern belle for her artificial substitute. With all the care and anxiety bestowed by the doctor the poison infected the entire tail, causing a gangrenous necrosis that only terminated with the entire loss of the member. When she became fully impressed with her lost condition, a settled despondency seemed to pervade her whole being, and in nightly wails her voice in conference could be detected above all others from its beseeching tone as if in supplication for a renewal of her divine grace, while in sound it seemed to represent the faith of her sex, with human endowment, who with paint endeavor to retrieve from the wrinkles of age the complexion of youth. In her daily walks she was meek and contrite, and more inclined to closet her woes than to expose them to the gibes of the wicked, who delight in adding poison to the sorrows of affliction. Her deportment became gradually severe, with a tendency to marsupial uprightness; and I am sorry to add that she showed a special despite against those who seemed to enjoy the favors of her first estate, even in the diminutive of Kubu expression, so that in a short time she wholly estranged herself from her orang sympathisers. To the regretful surprise of all, her first litter-ary labors produced a tailless progeny, showing withal the hereditary taint of their mother's despondency; but often, when kittens, would exhibit strong tokens of renewed faith in the efficacy of saving grace by ritualistically turning for hours together in the spirit pursuit of their race's once happy birthright.
"Unfortunately, as they increased in years, they began to exhibit traits
of depravity that ignored the rights, not only of property, but the lives
of animals with whom their parents had lived on excellent terms before
their mother's detailation. As with Cain, this malevolent disposition was
aggravated by paw corrections, directed and administered to the bereaved
parts, so that the delinquents were made to feel the source of their misfortune
from the earliest stage of kittenhood, until from frequency and vicarious
distribution of the nourishment intended for the deposed member, the centre
of gravity, in protuberance, was sufficiently developed to render an upright
walk an easy means of progression. As a categorical summary, I will state,
for the test of your observation, that, in a scriptural sense, they have
fulfilled the litter-ary injunction, and with the consequent degeneration
have become jackals in poverty-stricken rapacity, and no longer hold themselves
amenable to domestic ties, but consort in packs for the nightly rehearsal
in conference of their woes. But as the twilight shadows are gathering
I will leave you for the night to balance your thoughtful reflections in
decision for refreshing sleep. Good night."
My Dear Marvel:
Although I write to you in a semi-official style of journalism, befitting the importance of the subject, and your position as Secretary of the S.F.A.S., I cannot withhold from your confidence the full flow of my novel impressions, derived from the evidences of regeneration that are daily presented to my judgment for truthful recognition. The retrato and chata revelations, as well as Mrs. Leslie's exposition of the fallacy of experience founded upon theoretical knowledge, you can use as your judgment prompts; but in the matter of my personal experience, it would please me to have you use your careful discretion, as votes, instead of thought, form the basis of public opinion in submission to the decrees of your society's oracular decisions. As mood, in dealing with humanity, as well as with the lower grades of animality, should be taken into consideration for a favorable impression, I would especially recommend you to present the installments I forward under favorable auspices. If you should happen to receive statements that appear somewhat astonishing to your hereditary faith in miracles, select an evening for the "paper's" presentation when the members of the society have duly prepared themselves for the discussion of relic authenticity, or for the status classification of fish, as under their influence the vent of understanding will be open for gill reciprocation. In happy appreciation of the practical evidences of regeneration, I remain yours,
This morning, while on my way to visit the improvements of a distant Badda plantation, I was overtaken by the Rev. Mr. Rantkin, who, with some embarrassment, asked me if I had experienced the new light sensation of regeneration by renewed faith in tail manifestations. The question startled me, for I will acknowledge that I thought him as incapable of construing humorous intention as he was of appreciating the pendant test of tails to Adam and Eve in suspension as a balance of merit for angelic flight or earth grubbing germ-manic sons of toil. Observing the emotions or surprise the question produced, he, in direct terms, asked me if I had been able to detect emotions that I could trace in extension to a faith belief in the transmitted manifestations of tail impressions as a pre-Adamic heir- loom. I must confess that it was with a blush of shame that I acknowledged a hopeful faith in the extenuating emotions of tail grace as an efficacious medium for angelic flight, if, of necessity, the endowment was sufficient to prove effectual. After pondering for some minutes, as if holding speech communion with himself, subject to period hesitations in seeming correspondence with answer and inquiry, indicated by lip movements and muscular enunciation, with its lights and shadows of expression, he asked if I believed in the spirit influence of the Holy Ghost and its power to communicate with words its directions? In replying to his question of belief in this detached element of fanatical faith in a triune godhead, I could not withhold from my expression a scornful reflection in rebuke for his still continued reliance upon the fantasmal inculcations of Christian doctrine and its ascribed attributes derived from the mountebank source of preaching delusions. But with a feeling of self-responsibility in vindication of my humble reverence for the immensity of supreme creative power, I asked him how he dared indicate a knowledge that ascribed to the Creator an alliance humiliation so shockingly profane. Looking at me with perturbed expression of anxiety in self- deprecation from injurious intention, he asked, in a doubtful way, whether I imagined that the free-will power of Adam and Eve was fore-ordained with the intention
that they should disobey, and if I thought the fact of their being placed in command over the fruits of the garden trees of Eden by the Lord God Almighty of Israel, and their fall from their high position, really indicated the loss of their tails, and the consequent vicarious development of the centre of gravity for an upright walk. Or if Eve spanked Cain with faith in the efficacy of the theoretical knowledge she had obtained from transgression with scientific intention designed for the end in view, or on account of its eligible position for the gratification of spite as the source of her own misfortunes?
These questions, propounded in the spirit of anxious inquiry, I was reviewing in thought for an answer of suitable import, when he, speaking in half soliloquy, continued: 'If these events were thus, then in sequence, it must be admitted that the uncertainty of religious knowledge founded upon superstitious faith in counteracting revelations, was the curse indicated that doomed the believers, in majority, to servitude and starvation! Ah! woe is my lot, that I have been preaching and teaching this fatal delusion, in despite of the warning indignities of my own laboring servitude, that I accounted as a deserved penance for my lukewarm adherence to faith in the theory of peace and goodwill as an assurance for pardoning grace, while in practice upholding as the basis of my religious creed the priestly privilege of condemning the sinner to the punishment of hell fire. I little thought, sir, that I should be brought to address myself to you in this wise when we first met on board of the vessel, but the ways of Providence are inscrutable and past finding out!'
With this concluding syllogistic enunciation, characteristic of his professional habits of tramway expression, he turned and retraced his steps Holm-ward. It was plain to discover in his manner and method of speaking, a direction of thought that puzzled his understanding comprehension, and in some respects seemed to resemble in suggestive lead my own reflections, which appeared to derive their origin from the novel impression of the strange associations to which I had been subjected during my sojourn at the Holm.
But as all my emotions tended to a sincere realization of affection as the supreme source of happiness, from the inducement they offered as a current for kindred reciprocation, I coveted the influence as an increasing source of enjoyment.
After having received a new and overflowing accession of sympathetic pleasure from the harmonious association of the descendents of the ancient badda element of discord and vengeful hate, in a musing mood I returned by a circuitous hill track to the Holm.
While overlooking the valley reach, in extension from the Holm, I caught a glimpse of a figure walking beneath the trees of a shaded dale, where I had often watched the Kubu matrons and maidens engaged in the sportive ballet dance, in moving figure hand springs from limb to limb and branches of the spreading oaks. My pocket field- glass revealed the form of Father Odorat, and the excited peculiarity of his movements attracted my curiosity. His arms were crossed behind his back, and his raised cassock, of black serge, fell over the cross of his wrists with the expression of a diabolical tail of the orthodox Catholic order.
It was easy to discover from his perturbed motions, and vehement cross action of his wrists, that he was engaged in exorcising the renewed impression of entailed grace; the movement of his lips, the while, showing the urgency of his formulistic appeal for the pope's spiritual intercession for the curtail of these apostate tendencies. As I was in the act of withdrawing the focus of my glass from the privacy of his meditations, its sweep brought into view the swaying sprays, and jarring shake of the avenue tree limbs, denoting the approach of a bevy of Kubu maidens to their germ-orang gymnasium, and with renewed interest I turned it again to the glade to observe the characteristic developments of the interview.
Much to my surprise and chagrin, as they gained the more exposed limbs of the oaks, I discovered that Bridget Kan Avan led the van, clothed in nature's garb of her own furred skin, while with a sceptre upward curve of queenly grace, her tail clothed her back, as if in rest for a more exalted evolution of angelic flight. Catching a glimpse of father Odorat, as they emerged from the deeper shade of the avenue trees, they halted in pendant suspension to observe his movements, without attracting his notice. After a few minutes devoted to the watchful attention of his movements, Bridget, with an apparent appreciation of the cause of his disturbed emotions, drew her hand across her eyes, and then with manual signs addressed her companions. But instead of turning back, as I expected she would, under the modest influence of shame, she with boldness, that shocked my sensibilities with flashes of heat, advanced, and as I judged, from the effect, offered him the solace of her sympathy, for he immediately dropped his cassock tail and listened attentively. The import of her communication, whatever its nature might be, had the tendency to calm his previous apprehensions, for he seated himself and witnessed their evolutions with wrapt attention; but, alas! my own eyes, with indistinct vision, viewed them with a decidedly profane impression. With a jealous infatuation, beyond my control, I watched until the ballet dance closed, and was gladly relieved when I saw Bridget and her troop depart without accepting the offer of father Oderat, who in forgetfulness of his previous tribulation, and her angelic endowment, beckoned for her to alight that he might bestow his shriveing benediction. Glad at heart, I determined to consult Mr. Leslie senior, after the evening Chata, to learn of the welfare of Kan Avan, and the reason why he, and his family, had not visited Holm in accordance with the established custom, and endeavor to draw from him, if possible, the cause of Bridget's extraordinary endowment. Hitherto, as with the other guests, I had been so much occupied with the novelty of my surroundings, that suggestive questions for elucidation were of rare occurrence, for, as if in premonition. the Retrato or Chata illustrations would embrace all subjects likely to produce questionable doubts of practicability. But example, in all the laboring contingencies of happy association, proved so clear to the understanding that no questioning thought could arise for exposition, as practical right, without a wrong reigned supreme.
The Practical Use of Language was the subject of Mr. Leslie's, senior, evening retrato:
"It was evident," he said, "that the initial of word introduction was derived from sounds indicating calls for the expression of wants, and 'maa and baa' were undoubtedly the first that greeted the ears of Eve and Adam from Cain; and 'don't, maa,' the first of pleading expostulation that called for an abatement in the cultivation of the centre of gravity for an upright walk. It is also extremely probable that the expletive use of words for the anathematizing reprobation of acts and actors originated from this latter source of affliction, more especially as the mother was accountable for the sin of protective bereavement. If from this early germ-manic source the use of expletive denunciation was derived, it is not surprising that it became a ventful cause of counter aggravation, resulting in personal encounters, and, with multiplication of the species, battle engagements. From this experienced commencement in the use of language for the expression of knowledge attainments we can trace in habits and customs transmitted to the present day the "root" origin of words to their source in de- tailed emergence from the orang period of silent contentment. As an inductive illustration of source and degeneration in the use of germ-manic terms denoting the idea of possession, it would be natural to suppose that in primitive mating of the sexes the reciprocal style of designation would be 'my herr,' and in the third person 'herr man.' But as degeneration lessened the possessive ties of affection and united affinity, it as naturally follows, as a sequence of indifference, that the syllables would coalesce, after the discovery of alien claims, from 'my err' (modern error) and 'err-man' into a subjunctive personality for common appropriation, as Meyer and Herman. In tracing the circumstantial proofs confirmed by habit from the end of innocence, where the tail left off, or ceased to exist as the means of suspension in hopeful waiting for the full- fledged merit necessary for the attainment of angelic flight, it is easy to discover the perverse incentives that led to the adoption of mysterious hypocrisy-in sequence to the audacious assumption of direct and inspired communication with creative power. In evidence of this train, consequent upon the adoption of the speculative and arbitrary theory of Eve, who carried to excess her spanking proclivities in the revengeful spirit of reprisal for merited misfortunes incurred from her own wilful transgression, we have found that like begets like unless subjected to the ruling control of self-legislative thought.
"The arbitrary bias established by the theoretical practice of Eve, in reversion upon Cain, has proved an irrevocable precedent which in the beginning produced a restive influence that showed a disposition to dethrone Creative Power and substitute the militating devisements of Eve-generated revenge as the ruling attributes of the vicarious deity. In evidence that knowledge corrected from experience was ignored, we have only to trace the hieroglyphic records of Egypt which distinctly depict the period of emergence from a quadrumanal to bipedal state and the Eve-generated spirit of factional discord. As with hieroglyphic representation of scenes, words in primitive designation were the echoed response of habits and customs, and in transmission retain their original signification, even in dialect variation. The encyclopedia of lingual comparison will fully attest to their correct correspondence from the beginning to the present date. The present generation, although subject to the artificial decrees of imposed 'fashions' are held in subserviency by the same ruling manifestations of controlling instinctive power that was imparted to Cain from the hand of Eve. In Egyptian and Indian hieroglyphic depiction, the inference from man in bird and animal representation amounts to a direct acknowledgment of a then recent evolution from a kindred state. But in the detailed chronological succession of ruling power it is easy to detect in the traditional record of the Bible a correspondence with the Egyptian, in warlike method, that subjected the laboring masses to a servitude infinitely more abject and hopeless than the sorriest beasts of burden. In like manner this power can be traced through all the avenues of written history, to the enactments of the present day, in as legible terms as those furnished by the active promoters of the crusades. Yet, the laboring classes still live subject to these causes, which, in comparative degree, reduces them to become automaton targets to each others' rifles, or drudges with a starving pittance from the doles of priest-craft whom their miserable infatuation supports in a plurality of richly endowed livings. Now let us contrast these self-condemned victims of indulgence with our remnant race of Gibbons Orangs, who are at peace with themselves and all the world of mankind, for they are held in reverence by all the tribes and peoples of the countries of their nativity, and see what compensation civilized knowledge affords for happiness in this life, or in preparation for a future superior to theirs. For we cannot realize any other just standard than that which rewards merit. Bible record and collateral traditionary testimony, confirmed by continued habits and customs when divested from the mysteries of religious faith, all attest to the origin affinity of the races; and the implied affirmation of 'scripture' revelation details an accumulation of woes from a fall that presupposes a position occupied above the earth.
"The reference and reverent forbearance shown to all the long-tailed species of the orang in the countries of their nativity proclaims an exampled belief of a kindred origin on the part of mankind. This tacit acknowledgment is further sustained by direct worship paid to their living divinities by nearly one-half of the world's existing population; for the Buddhists were originally orang worshipers, but from the practical devotion of Buddha to acts of affectionate amelioration, not only for the improvement of his own species, but for the kindly recognition and abatement of animal suffering, he was adopted as an exemplar exponent of an abounding source of love.
"The confiding prosperity of the Indians under the benignant influence of his example soon extended to China and Tartary, and the countries west of India. But his death, after living to an extraordinary age, cherished in the loving source of vitality by worshipful affection, inaugurated an era of priestcraft, founded upon his apotheosis, and from thence anarchy, poverty, rapid multiplication, and abject servitude held discordant sway. With reverence, from creative indications, we will, from practical experience, assume that affectionate confidence is the inspired source of happiness that offers the only feasible impression in forecast for the realization of convictions consistent with the extension of living enjoyment into the realms of infinity for perfect consummation.
"Now let us question the existing sources of human happiness, and see if they offer a chance hope for present enjoyment, as a basis for extension to the realms of infinity when relieved from the soils of earthly probation.
"Affection is a term word, that expresses, from source, equality, and only admits of superiority in kindly expression.
"Multiplied divisibility, means, in practical demonstration, diminution in size, strength, power and durability. The Bible curse, denounced against the germ-manic successors of the orang antecedents, was the fruits of knowledge, which were specially designated in result; from rapid multiplication of the species -- in contra-distinction to previous intention, or fact, which had incurred the penalty of labor, and poverty, that in a literary sense begets like. All who are capable of realizing, from self-communion, the result of cause and effect, cannot escape the evidence of the Bible's truthful verification in forecast of its own pages' description of imposed habits and customs, invoked by priestcraft for the superstitious subjugation of the peoples to their control. Even at the earliest dates of its traditionary record we are advised that rites and ceremonies had superseded and reduced to affectation the evidences of confiding reliance which inspires trustful affection for an abiding equality. With the absolute rule of priest chieftains, like Moses and Aaron, who exacted burthensome tithes for the use of the Lord, were inaugurated the oppressions which rule at the present day and deprive the laborer of the honest products of his toil, to increase the livings of the controllers to a superabundance in excess of their requirements. But now, as in the beginning, when sore oppressed with want and starvation, instead of communing individually with self, to study its responsibility as a representative part of humanity, personalities congregate to agitate the questions of right, freedom, and equality, for reformation; and then, with or without a resort to arms, subside into the old traditional routine of servitude. If experience had not proved itself worthless as a corrector of thoughtless infatuation, the people of the world would have long since discovered that in striving for the luxuries of life they were forging the fetters of misery. Self-control is the source of a kindly disposition, and in Its freedom from indulgence for self -gratification imparts its spirit of contentment to others. If Adam and Eve, after they had discovered from experience the fatal effects of self- indulgence, had learned and imparted to their children the repentant power of self control for transmitted extension, the Israelitish traditions would have been recorded in a style of exampled contentment that would have reached, at this stage, the verge of happy perfection. The intercession of the previous propositions disjunctively, would have saved innumerable spanking incentives to deadly revengeful reprisals, and warful contentions, with their diplomatic congresses for the division of spoils in provocation for continued contests. While, in the absence of poverty as a stimulant for litterary fecundity, the human and orang cousins, in race development, might have approached nearer an equality in population and the natural means of sustenance.
"This certainly would have afforded an acceptable attainment in practical knowledge, proof to the jealousy of counter-accumulation, and occupation of territory in excess of actual requirements necessary for the encouragement or a healthful affection in freedom from the allay of greed. The attainment of knowledge under the fostering care of kindly experience, would disseminate the power of invention, so that the realities of progress in the arts and exact sciences would become general in derivation, instead of being dependent, as at present, upon the thoughtful energies of isolated individuals To our unselfish experience, want is unknown, for invention anticipates desire, and we realize actual joy in anticipating associate requirements; so that, in the place of phantasmal ordinances subject to sectarian variations in fashions of administration, we derive affectionate sustenance from an ever-abiding source.
"With these contrasted lights and shadows, we will now offer for your consideration, in abstract, the relative sources, and real value of the happiness enjoyed by the progenitorial orang, in comparison with the vaunted afflatus derived from the written traditions of the Israelites, under the modern renditions of devel[op]ment.
"In the garden investment of Saar-Soong, the orang lives in a state of constant activity, realizing in flight from limb to limb, and tree to tree, a germ-angelic development evidently intended for a higher evolution in structural perfection, with increased capacity for enjoyment.
"His knowledge extends in practical development, to the exact supply of his wants, and an innate perception of the means to be used for the assurance of healthy digestion.
"In its extension to domestic, and associate economy, he recognizes, in fact, the co- operative system of reciprocation, in obtaining and distributing supplies; and in method is unostentatious as well as just; and he invariably exhibits toward the sick and incapacitated, traits of self-denial and the tenderest care.
"Experience with the orang, is treasured as a traditionary recordfor adoption, and avoidance, of things, and habits, agreeable, and disagreeable.
"In association he is always courteous and mirthful, and when alone is never solitary or sad, but finds within himself an abundant resource for amusement, and in extremity resorts to his tail as a never-ending source of enjoyment.
"To the younger members of the Gibbang he is an exampled director, and their strict adherence to his rule of action, shows the benefit of experienced induction without the languaged use of words.
"Satisfactory clothing, and lodging, nature supplies, with but little labor on the part of the recipients for comfortable adaptation.
"His Defensive Means of Protection against adverse animalities reside solely in detection and adequate powers of flight.
"This sum total of resource and adaptation to wants leaves nothing with the orang beyond the reach of desire. But that you may understand that the long-tailed species of the three continents are not deficient in the primitive endowment of affectionate alliance, I will relate an anecdote in which I was a careless, but unintentional, cause of pain, and resentful sympathy on the part of a chang of the small white-face monkey of the Isthmus of Darien. Having occasion to stop for a season among the natives of the beautifully located upland hamlet of Gatun, before the Panama Railroad had extended to it the "benefits" of civilization, in returning from a successful wood-dove hunt, I was pursued by a small chang of the usually curiously peaceful white-faced monkies.
"Contrary to their usual habits, they scolded and offensively sought to annoy me. When clear of the wooded banks of the Chagres Hiver, and in near approach to the bamboo hut of my entertainers, I discharged the remaining loaded barrel of my gun in the direction of the still defiantly chattering chang, without thinking that they were within range of the small shot charge. Great was my surprise and sorrow when I saw one fall to the ground, and the others drop to support it, which they did in as anxious and tender a manner as it was possible to conceive. Really grieved, I laid aside my gun and approached the agitated group to learn the extent and nature of the injury I had carelessly inflicted.
"As their curiously intelligent sympathies were too much occupied with the examination of the seat of the wound to heed my movements I gained the screen of a plantain within a few rods of them, so that I was able to obtain a good view of their proceedings.
"The victim was stretched out at full length on his back, with his limbs extended, upon the principle of the rack of the inquisition, by the hands of his companions, while two of the elders passed theirs over the surface to detect the wounds. I was gladly relieved to see that there was no flow of blood, and concluded that he had been frightened by the sting of spent shot. This was confirmed by the result of the examination, for he was soundly cuffed for the false alarm, and was glad to betake himself from their hands to the trees with the rest of the chang in full pursuit, intent upon his punishment. The enactment was, in delineation, so closely allied to human interpretation of a kindred investigation, that, in relief from my self-accusing fears, it caused me to laugh heartily But as you become more intimately acquainted with our orangs of direct caste descent from the species of Adam and Eve before their fall, you will he enabled to understand better their capacity for the practical adaptation of exampled knowledge to the exact requirements of want without the incumbrance of theoretical superabundance for the speculative reduction of the majority to subservient dependency upon the accumulative disposition of the minority.
"The incident that I have related of the sagacity of the American monkey orang, will serve to show that their scientific experience founded upon knowledge, in investigation, did not take into consideration the variations in effect produced by distance and other contingent circumstances relevant to the use of the gun, and in consequence they punished the slightly injured as a cowardly impostor, because his body did not exhibit the evidences of blood which they had found in a previous example. But, as with the lineal prototype orang of the Evo- Adamic race, they held their powers of procreation subservient to the fruitful supply of the forests and plantations in freedom from labored cultivation. Yet when captured and confined in cages for the gratification of their inhuman cousins' gazing curiosity, they became subject to the effect of major example, and withal litter-ary in tendency. With this exampled sum of the negative and positive capabilities of the orang race for enjoyment, inasmuch as we are enabled to judge from studied observation, we will now endeavor to present in a manner as truthfully concise, the realized superiority of human attainments under the auspices of knowledge and experience for its practical adaptation to the requirements of comfort, and the realization of a future existence from the treasured merits of the present.
"Knowledge, with humanity, is based upon education! And the first step to be taken is the speaking attainment of language designed, perhaps, for the expression of thought; but in customary use it is made the medium for the intercommunication of sensational emotions, derived from the organs of perception.
"Mathematical calculation is the next upward step in the ladder of promotion, and when combined with a systematic method of registry for the balance of indebtedness, the education status of the mercantile factor is completed for the battle strife between gain and loss in life. Upon the foundation of these acquisitions is reared the superstructure of collegiate and professional accomplishments for sapping, with genteel pretense, the accumulations of the productive and trading ranks. These distinctions are practically sufficient for the elucidation of civilized attainments in the art of obtaining a livelihood, and the chimerical advantage of knowledge as a literary substitute for a tail. For all claims above an existence, in sustained variation between the limits of luxury and starvation, the pleasure of seeing, hearing, tasting and talking, in gossip and congregation, can be referred, and what are these, as a source of happiness, if they excite no deeper emotions than for the critical discussion of events adverse to confidential trust without seeking for the means to substitute prevention for cause.
"The orang in his native state, unbiased by the example of human association, lives in peace with his kind, and barely keeps the numbers of his chang good from reproduction, although free from the destructive agencies self-incurred by mankind, in addition to natural causes. He is actively provident and affectionate, and in the midst of plenty, from renewed experience, makes his appetite subservient to the requirements of health. In association he is amusing and domestic, taking particular delight in giving exampled instruction to his children in germ-orang gymnastry, which suffices as an educational means of support and locomotion, and when alone, or in company, he is never desolate, lonely, or embarrassed, for his tail affords him a constant source of amusement and occupation, without the aid of scissors, tongue, or sewing machine. These ample sources of happiness, which would be gladly acknowledged as sufficient by the multiplying human drudges of starving toil and warring destruction who enjoy the blessings of civil and religious liberty, are despised in usage with their sinless progenitors, simply because they realize the benefits of a tail without faith gained by the knowledge of transgression. The ordinances of sectarian priestcraft, which were so fearfully inaugurated by the rival sacrifices of Cain and Abel, and have been perpetuated with characteristic creed divisions in multiplied succession, with the original leaven still at work, and so inwrought with example as to become an emotional instinct, declare with prima facie evidence that religion was the curse that was evolved, as the woe of knowledge, that would resist the proof of experience for happy improvement. To show the ignorant opposition to the Creator's natural decrees, still patronized by church superstitions, we will take the approved representations of angelic beings, with wings attached to the immovable scapula back of the arms, which in orang freedom of movement declare fledged intention, with the body and limbs' pendant weight in naked resistance to the draught of perpendicular flight. However absurd this ridiculous devisement of man may appear, in connection with the nullified tail, necessary as a rudder parachute of direction and support, upon investigation, with the aid of thought, the whole fabric of religious belief will prove as ill adapted for the fulfillment of happy intention.
"Father Odorat and the Rev. Mr. Rantkin, our missionary guests, would have undoubtedly urged -- before they felt the influence of regenerating tail faith -- that all things are possible with God! But does not this foolish resort reflect the hopeless misery of the world's generations as in tenfold degree deserved for a stupidity that directly accuses the Creator of perpetrating inconsistent acts for his creatures' bewilderment? As you will perceive, our successful attainment in happiness have been derived from our endeavors to make knowledge available by profiting from experienced example in forecast for provisional prevention of deleterious cause. For the accomplishment of this object, as you are realizing, we commence where the tail left off for the inauguration of knowledge upon the precautionary basis of experience, in avoidance of the theoretical faith for the achievement of impossibilities.
"With well-tried affection for the foundation, we have secured such
happy developments of confiding contentment, that we are enabled to realize
the impressions of a consistent future from present enjoyment. But as I
have trenched in some respects upon Doctor Olu's department, we will now
adjourn to listen to his garden chata."
"From due consideration and well advised observation, we cannot escape the conviction that from precedented infatuation, under the style of religion and patriotism, Church and State individualities have become hypochondriacs of the most irremediable description. The jostling bustle attendant upon the supply of artificial wants has so metamorphosed personal responsibility that it no longer recognizes self as an integral dependency for current reciprocation, but presents itself as an absorptive centre of attraction for accumulation and misery it entails, from required watchful care to preserve it from the encroachments of neighborly enterprise; for under this style we are, upon analysis, obliged to consider property contentions which have recourse to law for adjustment. Notwithstanding our manifest desire to impart the happy result of our experience as a practical resource for the attainment of contentful enjoyment, we are perfectly well aware that the imparted zeal of Cain has been embittered in transmission, so that it no longer derives sufficient satisfaction from present revenge, but has conjured from hate the devisement of a hell for the ambitious display of ingenuity in the inquisitorial arts for agonizing cruelty. Fortunately our joyful armor of proof has placed us beyond the reach of these revealed Christian charities which advocate that there can be no wrong in exacting from the soulless machines, without the pale of sectarian faith inaugurated by Cain and Abel, the utmost misery it is possible for them to inflict. On the contrary, they esteem it a source of righteous merit to make them succumb to the dictations of the Church.
"In passing proof of this statement, your own experience will afford ample evidence, but a recent portrayal in the cosmopolitan city of San Francisco, California, will render the truth more legible for your comprehension. In a recent ministerial convention, in the above-named city, to devise means for the enforcement of Sunday laws, to keep the day holy as a day of rest, according to their interpretation, an Irish representative asserted that the Chinese were mere machines, but applauded a negro bishop of Methodism whose fanatic zeal exhibited a strong predisposition to the gorilla's method of righteous argument. Fact demonstration reveals that the Chinese have degenerated from like confusing causes, and have passed through in their degradation the destructive civilized stages which are now the boast of Christian nations; but with the advantage of a united faith in reverential respect for the ordinances of paternal authority for religious transmission, which reduces the ties of affection to a ritual observance void of the essentials of unity that reflect in reciprocation to the primal source.
"Yet, withal, the advantage of this parental involvement of priest-craft rites, as a family source of heir-loom reverence, presents in an obvious light freedom from congregated sectarianism; that, as in the instance related of our sojourn in a New England town, holds a day holy for ignoring the kindly congratulations of neighborly sympathy on account of creed variations. The troubled Christian anxiety with regard to the Chinese machines arises from the difficulty of making the pagan locomotive adapt itself to the narrow-gauge track of church restrictions and indulgencies, which in reaction furnish priestly and saloon revenues, and would leave the poor dupes without an obolus wherewith to pay the pious and patriotic ferriage charged for the transportation of relative's bones across the Pacific styx to the flowery kingdom of their Celestial hopes.
"As guests, in freedom from the self-delusive ambition of citizenship, we found them in the United States submissive to enlightened imposition, industrious, imitatively ingenious, temperate (we generalize in speaking of a people's habits, and do not make exceptions the rule of condemnation as a leper, and uncleanly habits from the necessity of crowded congregation, or a comparatively few opium smokers, hold the same ratio of influence with the Chinese as like evils with other nations), peaceful, frugal, and less inclined to steal than the representative citizens of Christian nationalities. Indeed, the tail memorial, as a symbol of the transition of the supporting faculties from their original location to the head, affords a reverential token of respect for original source of paternity, in strong contrast with the mechanical manifestations of faith of the fathers and mothers in descent from Israel, who cumber their persons with the ritual devices of impression, without bestowing a thought in sympathy for their first parents' bereavement, that deprived them of the unfledged rudder appendage destined in full fruition for angelic flight.
"When a nation offers a citizen asylum to all claimants, it certainly cannot, with justice, repudiate those of one type, to favor others, because they set a worthy example of temperance and frugality, and choose a method of worship in freedom from sectarian sources of discord! The Chinese freely admit that they are able to improve greatly by an association with the people of other nationalities, under the influence of their daily home avocations, and are willing to serve as domestics that they may be able to transmit all that is good for their own people's imitation. If christianized civilization really wished to benefit this populous empire, and convert it from heathenism, they could not desire, in reason, a better opportunity for the exampled transfer of practical goodness, and thereby save the pennies, grubbed from the laboring poor, for the support of missionaries in China, who only serve, from example, to confirm the people in the practice of their own ritualistic style of paganism, that reverences parental authority as the legitimate source of priestly direction. Even our coolies become confirmed in the belief that with all the superiority of your art attainments in war, and the prestige it afforded for forced accumulation, they preferred their simple practical worship devoted to the tail of the orang as the supporting medium of ancestral contentment, before it was sacrificed for the gratification of cupidity. We have now arrived at the stage where it is necessary for us to consider
"The bearing, and impression, derived from the genera, order, and specie of tails, in adaptation to foreordained intention.
"Now that you have become familiar with, and have felt the regenerating influence of tail faith, in the belief of its efficacy as the ante-source of human contentment, designed in evolvement for the full perfection of angelic flight, we will offer for your recognition the functional distinctions derived from attributive cause. If you will direct your attention to the youthful pair of orangs, who are disporting themselves in tail suspension from a limb of yonder oak, you cannot fail to perceive in their forms a graceful tendency that bespeaks angelic intention. Not that in their present state, we can realize more than the initial of intention for evolvement; still, in contrast with the bereaved human form the pre-eminence of adaptation is as conspicuous as the ridiculous memorial adjustment of an artificial tail to the Chinese head with its tonsure aids to eke out a resemblance that should betoken the emblematic cause of its promotion.
"As the orang tail is sacred, from its primal attachment to our progenitors while in the enjoyment of their happy state of contentment, before the cupidity of desire led them to taste of fermented toddy, cider, and like luxurious aggravations, and possesses within itself distinctive attributes of elevation, we will first demonstrate the peculiarities of its adaptability to the human form divine. You will observe that the younger orang, when blindfolded so that he cannot avail himself of sight, neither of smell nor hearing, is able to detect, from the perception of touch, the qualities of substances placed within the grasp of his tail. Now, if this instinct in one so young shows such a ready perception of corresponding innate attributes in relation to good or bad qualities of objects subjected to the tail's prehensile test, we can readily appreciate the source of contentment it afforded to Adam and Eve as the most highly endowed organ of their bodies. Its connection with the adjoining parts has even in bereavement left a hallowed impression sacred to the instincts of mortality in consecration for the devout evidences of worship which still prevails over the transversed functions of volition to the then nether termination of the spinal chord, now known as the brain.
"These worshipful evidences displayed for the tail's centre of gravity in suspension and in the upright walk of mortality bespeak the importance of its adjunct attachment as the herald nucleus for fledged angelic flight and the miserable compensation derived from the brain as the seat of knowledge, which in division remains servile to the instincts of its former adverse incorporation.
"Its ornamental pretension to beauty, even in its unfledged condition, your judgment will pronounce elegant in comparison with the uncouth baboons' and the artificial substitutes adopted by fashionable females of the human species. The amusing and useful attainments of a highly accomplished orang tail exceed in poetical description our utmost powers of designal enumeration. But we must not overlook the Gibbons orang's missionary labors in behalf of our bereaved mortality. We have learned from my Kubu grand-child that the initial process of their practical labors in behalf of our bereaved race for renewed regeneration commence with the forward and inward pressure of the sacral attachment of the pelvic al‘ while in a state of rudimentary ossification. By this process the coccygeal, or tail portion, is forced within their reach for elongating manipulation, which is accomplished in the queue-bandage style of Louis XIV; so that at the age of three, by gymnastic muscular tail training, a perceptible wag is made manifest in token of pleasurable sensation. But up to that period daily exercise is necessary for the development of its emotional sensations of piety, else, as with the unsanctified in faith, they would be liable to anchylosis from re-ossification.
"When the functions of regeneration are full established in inceptive proportion, a very laudable expression of atoning grace has been achieved. But by the practical energy of my grandson Convert's surgical knowledge he has rendered full regeneration possible; but as it is sectarian in policy it is not practicable except in isolated cases of extreme unction, when the sacral substitute fails to impart to the convert a hopeful idea of sufficiency for salvation. The Kubu, who is using his tail as an expressive baton of exhortation while addressing his companions, was a Gibbons convert, but from some cause his evidence of successful regeneration neither sufficed in contour or length to afford him the full consolation of redeeming grace, and he fell into a despairing way like unto that so wofully described in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. All our endeavors to inspire in him a hopeful faith in its sufficiency signally failed, and with his eyes turned downward, over his sinister shoulder he constantly bemoaned, with a wry neck, its sad deficiency. The Gibbons, who listens, watches, and casts an occasional sullen look behind, half menacing and reproachful, in view of his curtailed condition, was the scandal of his chang, and although well endowed he used his tail as a tantalizing aggravation to the poor doubting Kubu sinner, and in despite of the worthy presbyters, and our own warnings, committed many acts of wanton despoliation, and then in mocking defiance would hang suspended beyond the reach of pursuit.
"This apostasy at last culminated in his committing the unpardonable sin of bruising the broken reed of the poor Kubu's hopes, and was caught in the very act by Convert's father, who secured him, after a long struggle, and brought him to the Holm for trial. His father, and the whole chang of Gibbons, were rejoiced at his capture, and showed a strong predisposition to the modern Universalist creed in their desire to subject him to a hell in this world, instead of trusting to retributive justice in the next; for they plucked his tail, and spurned the part of its attachment, with the foot vigor of the most inveterate civilized scorn, and could not be made to desist from their efforts to make him feel his outcast condition, until we caged him for a more just and mature trial for sentence.
"Although he showed such symptoms of repentance as are usually produced upon a criminal confined and humbled by a low diet, it was adjudged that he should make restitution from his own tail to the Kubus' regenerated, which he had mutilated in seven-fold degree. In accordance with the decree, he was reduced to an‘sthetic insensibility with an etherial tincture of bang, while Convert made the transfer with Shylock precision. When the operation was completed, under its effects the lessor and lessee were accommodated with caged apartments in full view of each other, with their hands confined so that if prompted by curiosity to learn the cause of unwonted soreness, they could not interfere with the healing process.
Their first impression, on recovering from an‘sthesia and finding themselves confronted with each other and sore in those parts sacred to hopeful faith, seemed to be mutual accusation, and on the part of the recreant Gibbons a scornful leer, which plainly intimated that, with the opportunity, he would finish his work and reduce the poor Kubu to the hopeless caste of manhood. The Kubu, on the contrary, exhibited a meek and lowly spirit of sinful depression, as if in deprecation of the anger of his would- be tormentor. At this stage of grimaced expression of animosity and meekness, the Gibbons made a motion as if he would flourish his sceptre tail as an aggravation to show the poor aspiring creature of humanity the utter impossibility of his ever being able to attain, by reconversion, the orang's privileged state of joyful contentment. When the summons of volition returned a twinge of pain and no tail appeared, the head and eyes were, upon the moment, turned backward to learn the cause. To describe the effect produced by this glance would be impossible; we will therefore concisely state that his appearance in transition from defiant confluence, to the extreme of despair, was in graphic demonstration the perfection of de- monkeyfied demoralization.
"An over-arrogant general, who has been defeated in a battle, or a man, or woman, suddenly shorn of court tail, or train, at a queen's reception, might for the moment shadow his wo-begone consternation, and shame; but Adam, and Eve, and their sun, and moon, defaulting contemporaries, could alone realize the utter prostration of his vainglorious ambition. His fixed stare at the bereaved relic -- or ,in mortal parlance, stub of a tail -- attracted the pitying attention of his Kubu victim, who had borne his pitiless scorn, and actual despite, that sought to injure and deprive him of his germ-orang hope of salvation; but when he discovered the source of his woe, he could not restrain a momentary glance of exultation, and a pious movement, that seemed to recognize the curtail as a just judgment for his own unmerited sufferings. This change of position, with accession of pain from the tailoplastic ingraft of muscular fibres, and vertebral axis junction, directed his attention to the part. A start of half- bewildered surprise followed this movement, then in quick succession a glad tremor, as he traced to his own back the origin of this miraculous fulfillment of his despondent longings. But when his caressing touch failed to produce the expected ecstacy in revulsion, his countenance became again overshadowed with doubtful fears, which caused him to rub his eyes, and touch the various parts of his body, for the confirmation of his senses, that he still represented himself in personality. When assured of his personal identity, and the real attachment of the contentful prize to his body, and that its movement caused pain, his countenance assumed that self-complacent benign expression, so happily portrayed by the convert to baptism, as his nose in emergence from the watery bath of faith regeneration, heralds, with ripples, the sneeze of relief that will announce the ritual success of the purifying element upon that organ. From that time forth, until the healing union was fully incorporated in graft; his nursing care required no prompting to insure its transferred embodiment, and when emotional sensations in transmission began to attest, with movement from volition, the successful nervous and muscular adaptation to first intention, his countenance assumed a beatific expression of content that, in backward tendency showed that knowledge, with him, would in future yield to experience.
"Although drearily noted for his volubility, before the transfer assured him of a full sufficiency of redeeming grace for salvation from the penalties of theoretical knowledge, he afterwards became meditatively so absorbed with the material beauty of his acquired title to the blissful realms of self-inspiration, that he gave no heed to the repentant groans of the bereaved orang who had been reduced to a more hopeless condition than the Kubu convert. In truth, the steadfast gaze of the bereaved Gibbons upon the relic stump of his departed glory, caused some qualms of self-reproof on our part as we questioned our right of disposal. But as we could not restore his lost member without reducing the Kubu to a more hopeless condition than that from which we had redeemed him, we concluded that it was best to abide by our act and endeavor to reconcile him to his lost condition by persuading him to look forward instead of behind, and count his loss as another's gain. These persuasions only led him to regard us reproachfully with his proximal eye, which showed so little faith in the charitable intention of our expostulations that his nether optic never relinquished its hold upon the past.
"When in the third week they were released, the orang followed the regenerated Kubu with a sullen despondency that seemed to be under the control of superstitious fear. As the operation and transfer was intended not only to test the feasibility of like incorporation with like, but the reality of derivation from the same generic source, also to trace in effect the impressions that have imparted to humanity a belief in miraculous interpositions, it was withheld as a secret, known only to the members of the household.
"When the members of the Gibbons' chang saw their late recreant kin-representative following his deposed tail, in transferred adoption by the Kubu convert, whose regenerated germ-caudality had been revived from their missionary labors, which he had reviled and mutilated, they appeared to doubt the truthfulness of their own vision, and turned one to another for the associate assurance of like visual configuration. When the reality was fully made apparent, from a distant reverential investigation of the relative facts -- for they did not venture to avail themselves of touch for the more convincing test of actual transfer -- they alternately scratched their haunches and heads, as if in appeal to those parts, they questioned, 'If these things are thus, how came they so?'
"When assured that there was no tail of mouse or fly within the telescopic lens of their eyes for optical delusion, they set upon the poor de-tailed Gibbons and drove him from the inclosure, and reviled him with germ-orang missiles of defilement derived from their soils offaled source of conception, which in germ-manic word conversion has now become so universally prevalent as the mouth and pen means of hereditary express on in civilized association. For a time we were at a loss in our endeavors to learn whether they considered him an Esau who had sold his birthright and thereby imperiled those of his kindred, which entitled him to rank as a Judas, or that the miraculous transfer was an O-men that betokened their degradation to manhood and the regeneration of our race as the fruits of their missionary labors, which were to be improved, to their cost, for our pre-Adamic reinvestment. But we are certain that they labored under an apprehension of the kind, for they studiously avoided intercourse with their Kubu converts, and were shy in their approaches to the Holm. The Kubus, on the contrary, looked upon the transfer of Gibbons' tail, not only as a retributive punishment for the inorangity of the loser in mutilating the forlorn hope of the Kubu convert, but as a prophetic sign of the final fulfilment of their hopes of tail translation in evolvement for angelic flight. The tail oratory in pantomimic word negation of the full- fledged convert with its eloquent exordic exhortation, and lofty style of peroration, caused a strong emotional revival of faith in its beatific efficacy, that caused the germ- regenerated Kubus to flock around his standard with a strong devotional spirit of expectation in hopeful waiting for a like translation. It was at one of these revival conferences that Convert discovered the novel effect of misplaced attachment in muscular volition that rendered, in a measure, the reasonable success of his operation abortive as the silent exponent of an intelligible faith demonstration; but he congratulated himself in having furnished an excellent working apology for the illustration of the exampled definition of faith in charity, virtue, morality, philanthropy, etc., in accordance with the accepted practice of civilized society.
"In the hurry of transfer he had reversed the tail so that it gave a side cast to the prehensile hold which utterly failed in theoretical suggestion, causing thereby the action of volition to miscarry with a ridiculous exposure of intention by contrary effect. But this strabismic deviation from direct action caused a wondering increase of faith in its efficacy on the part of the devotees, who, with humorous judgment, dictated by human knowledge, supposed it to be a mysterious ordinance that could have been made clear to the understanding if it had been so ordained. Neither did its non-accomplishment of direct purpose in the least impair the confidence of its possessor, who seemed to be satisfied with his full endowment without questioning its truthful efficacy.
"As the poor bereft Gibbons, with repentant grief, followed his lost estate with the fascination natural to the vital importance of a member that literally expressed in embodiment his resources for happy contentment, he was made aware of his nakedness, and sought to conceal it by artificial substitutes, which, in vague deviation from rational intention, naturally suggested the origin of civilized fashions and sweat of the brow from labor in vain. As the unintellible talk exhortations of the despised Gibbons orang discovered in the incipient use of language a sullen mood of discontent, Convert christened him, 'Mood-ee, the Degenerated' and the fully endowed Kubu, 'San-kee, or the Regenerated.'
"In order that you may fully realize and appreciate the high generic order of the orang tail, in contradistinction to the ordinary tails of animality and the ape and baboon species, as well as the more keen susceptibility of the female to their influence, we will relate the experience of Convert in rendering more efficient and exact adaptation of a bequeathed entailed estate to its recipient entailee. You are all curiously aware of the extraordinary caudal endowment of Bridget Ran Avan and the joyous influence it exerts in the happy consummation of faith for the material realization of perfect contentment. From the mother's experience and predilection, Pat-ro- nimick, and all the other children, were subjected to the Gibbons' missionary labors for regeneration, notwithstanding the father's protest against the "monkey addendas," which would prevent him from regaling himself, by administering to them a wholesome stimulus for the development of the centre of gravity and an upright walk. All, with the exception of Bridget, manifested the utmost indifference to their germ-orang rudder investment, and apparently gave no heed to its influence, in question of sufficiency, for the realization of an abiding faith for full regeneration.
"But she, as the special favorite of the patriarch and archess, had from frequent visits to their gibbang become painfully aware of the insufficiency of her caudality for saving grace, and in consequence fell into a low despondent state, and notwithstanding her father's constant warning of the fate that befell Lot's wife, she would constantly look behind, as if in faith for a hopeful increase of her oranginity. These fitful moods of doubt, halting between hope and despair, continued for the space of two years or more, and then seemed inclined to assume a corresponding type to the religious insanity that proves so contagious in civilized communities. As she was a general favorite with all, without regard to sect or nationality, an affectionate sympathy was constantly on the alert to find some means to divert her attention from an end so unsatisfactory to her brooding anticipations.
"At this time, when the general interest was so warmly enlisted in her behalf, the old patriarch of the Gibbons, who was well stricken in years, began to feel that the season of his translation, or departure, was approaching, and seemed desirous of settling his estate, and we could plainly discover his intention in forecast, as Bridget had been his especial favorite; but it was a long time before we learned the full extent of the sacrifice he premeditated in her behalf. In an interview with him, when San-kee, and Mood-ee, his followers, were enacting their roles of exhortation, he made Convert aware of his knowledge of the process by which the translation of the Gibbons tail to the Kubu had been effected, and our agency in the transaction. He then signified his wish to bequeath his caudal appendage for the relief of Bridget's despondency, and his desire that Convert would take charge of the transfer as administrative executor. Convert, although astonished at the immensity of the sacrifice offered in mediation for her redemption from the penalty of hereditary sin, and the insufficiency of her faith in the efficacy of the germ-orang source of regeneration, questioned the legitimacy of the transfer, as it would tend, in translation from the male to the female, to confound the emotional sensations that distinguish the sexes; but, upon consultation, it was thought advisable to comply with the patriarch's philorangthropic proposition, if it would prove a source of relief to Bridget.
"Although sensibly affected with the great love that prompted the sacrifice, and the benefit it would confer, Bridget, from the delicacy of her unselfish motives, and freedom from the urgency of Mercy's desire for the looking-glass, for which she longed -- as portrayed in Bunyan's description of the pilgrim's sojourn in the mansion of the Delectable Mountains -- refused the proffer of his birthright source of contentment; from the plea of the patriarch's necessity for its solace as the means of consolation for his latter days.
"In evidence of her disinterested determination, she assumed a more joyful expression, and looked forward with the hopeful intention of overcoming the impression of despondency, that had been imparted from a lack of faith in the sufficiency of her regenerated caudality for the effectual assurance of redeeming grace. But the patriarch, with an evident appreciation of her reverential forbearance, had set his heart upon making the sacrifice for her redemption; and Convert, as the medium of interpretation, finally persuaded her that a refusal to accept the means of atonement as a freewill offering, would not only show a spirit of ingratitude and a lack of faith in its available sufficiency, but would in fact be sinning away the day of grace with a recklessness as determined in obstinacy as the recreant Gibbons, who now, as a follower, is obliged to render devotional faith-service to his own lost means of salvation.
"Notwithstanding her wo-man's inheritance of vanity urged its acceptance, she still questioned from the 'valley of curious inquiry,' whether the patriarch, would, with like devotion, become a follower of his departed glory, self-deposed in her favor? We assured her that as its abdication, and transfer from its legitimate throne of grace, was a voluntary act for the redemption of her posterity, he would be likely to retain the full endowment of faith established by the impress of its past service, and thereby, would be no loser from the evidence imparted, in co- affinity, from anterior service rendered.
"With this rendering of her liability to incur in train its former retainer, she submitted to the surgical ordeal of translation, and with the patriarchal entailor, was subjected to the an‘sthetic influence of bang. The transfer was eminently successful, as we profited by our former experience, and were enabled to secure in adaptation a perfect correspondence of muscular and nervous union, as well as a sufficient supply of arterial sustenance, with necessary adjuncts for venous reelaboration. When a healthy connection was accomplished, a graduated series of germ- orang gymnastics was inaugurated for muscular development, and posttransmission of arterial and nervous power. As these collateral sources became currently established, she began to feel the addendum responsibility entailed from its former possessor, and in sequence the spirit of silent contentment was imparted in surplant of despondency. In excess of the active duties evolved from the retained wisdom of the tailacy, she imparted to it many accomplishments derived from the knowledge of sinful acquirements in theoretical practice, although tempered with an affectionate caudality remote from the empirical preaching, pleading, and doctoring specialties of the preacher, lawyer, and doctor, and their self-immolating devotees from the transition devisement of the brain. But the effect of the loss upon the poor patriarch devisor, was indeed sad, for it appeared to act in revulsion upon the organs of speech by developing his presbyter zetzoon cry into languaged exhortation; but unlike Esan, who sold his birthright for the gratification of taste, the burthen of his lamentation was for the insufficiency of his material resources for the contentful supply of mother Eve's inheritors, with the redeeming consolations of a graceful natural appendage to faith. With this tribute to his philorangthropic benevolence, displayed in self-sacrifice for the stay of discontent, the source of the curse of multiplication with humanity, we will now proceed to give in outline the languaged disposition of tails for instinctive expression, and in distinction from Adam and Eve's endowment previous to their fall will describe the orders and species in adaptation to grave requirements. Of the fledged creation, or 'fowls of the air,' we shall only speak in the way of comparison for demonstrating the necessity of a tail for the direction and parachute support of a body in flight.
"The primary division of tails, in adaptation to creative indications, are first the aerial, or those full fledged for flight in space. The second, or semiaerial, are those adapted to tree flight from the rudimentary stage of evolvement in presage of angelic fledgment, and are derived from and dependent upon the Orang species, and may be styled amphi-arboterrestrial from the sinful defection which in degradation produced mankind and held the progenitorial stock in status quo as a memento of cause and effect. If we were disposed to theorize from the precedental authority of Bible traditions, the conversation between Eve and the serpent, and his tail adaptation to tree flight, might warrant the belief of his inimical relationship to the species, but, as in our analytical statements we wish to adhere strictly to the indications of truth, we will allow your unbiased judgments to dispose of the question of alliance upon the strength of the evidence adduced.
"The third generic order of specie tail distinctions belongs to the lower transitions in degradation of the animal castes from the status of mankind, under the control of instinct abridged from the deductive resources of knowledge subject to correction from experience. The highest reach of attainment, by this order, is sagacity for support and self-protection, and we distinguish them in classification as pendu-queues.
"But we recognize a subdivision which we characteristically distinguish as stub-tails; the grades of this genus are diversified as with that of the hog, combining in variation the stub-twist and corkscrew, with curves more or less acute. All of these variations express tailiognomic characteristics as distinct in evidence of instinctive sagacity as the physiognomic manifest those of mankind, although limited in capacity to the emotions of anger, pleasure and pain.
"As the Chinese traditional record is the oldest, and the others agree with it in describing a transition stage that reduced mankind's progenitors to a terrestrial condition, and an upright walk and the cultivation of the soil, instead of enjoying the privilege of obtaining a free livelihood from the fruits of trees, which condition is distinctly asserted in the Bible description, we can safely infer that the keramic translation of the sacred tablets of the god Con-Fuse-Us by Hy-Long-Fel-Loo is substantially correct. Especially as we know that they still wear the memorial badge of the functional transition of the tail to the brain as the seat of knowledge, and that its impressions hold paramount sway over it at the present day. However, as with the Jewish rite of circumcision, which evidently commemorates the supposed method adopted by the Lord God of Hosts for the reduction of the orangs to a state of servile obedience in penalty for the transgression of his commands, its special observance has become a fashionable rite of national distinction instead of a reverential token of penitential sorrow for the loss of the unfledged index to an angelic flight of contentment, As you have observed, the orangs are still firm in adhering to their original simplicity of diet and habits of honest contentment, unprejudiced by the example of our predecessors, and that their Kubu converts prefer their customs to those of their own race. Like the apes, whose stub-tails have become useless for expression, as well as for convenience, and an ornamental source of redeeming grace, from retrogression in the process of transition, the children of Eve are more ready to imitate the orang example than that of their own parents. As an illustration of the Brazilian ape's keen perception of the ridiculous in the memorial adaptation of an artificial tail to the head of the Chinese, I will relate an instance of an interview that happened during my son's last visit to South America.
"While visiting the guano islands he rescued a sick Chinese boy from the brutality of the superintendent, who had dragged the unfortunate shadow to a hollow a little distance from the 'shoots' of canvas used in loading vessels, and with the most ferocious zeal was stamping out the spark of vitality that still entitled the sufferer to human sympathy. However gentle our coolie dispositions may appear when subject to our native taskmasters, their Buddhist sympathy for suffering is aroused to an unselfish pitch of desperation, whenever the slightest approach to cruelty is exercised in their presence, and they never calculate the odds against them in their attempts to offset the rescue of the victims. Sag-een (benevolent wisdom), when he saw the brutal act from a distance, never stopped to consider the risk he would incur in attempting to save the life of the boy in opposing his fragile form against the towering mass of bone and flesh that was dragging the helpless victim to a secure place for the gratification of effecting a sacrifice to brutal or devilish passions unobserved.
"Swift of foot and heedful of the necessity of sudden surprise to effect his purpose, he was enabled, from the dew dusk of the morning and the demon engrossment of the man-fiend, to prostrate him with Hindu tricks of sleight and to render him incapable of moving for self- defense or rescue of his victim, as it would require months for him to recover the free use of his arms and legs from the paralysis inflicted by the quick touches of Sag-een's walking wand.
"To wipe and bathe the boy's face, and give him such relief as the Hindu doctor's never-absent remedial case was able to afford, occupied a few minutes, but during that short period the Polander made ineffectual efforts to rise, giving vent the while to revengeful threats; but finding himself completely disabled, and caught in his own hollow trap, which would expose him to the concentrated heat of the rising sun, he began to supplicate with all the sneaking array of cowardly subterfuges that are held in reserve by cruelty and meanness for the repentant pleadings that follow detection. Sag-een, although mindful of all that the prostrate giant said, devoted his silent attention to the relief of his ward, and when he was sufficiently restored to bear removal, took him astride of his hip and bore him across the island to the boat of the ship on board of which he was a passenger in company with his adopted brother, the son of Mr. Leslie. After he had bestowed all the personal care required by his charge, related to Mr. Leslie and the captain the circumstances attending the rescue. Both were warm in his praise for the kindly sympathy that prompted and the boldness that enabled him to save the life of the boy, and the captain volunteered to inform the authorities of the particulars relating to the transaction. The result of the captain's representation of the facts was the removal of the superintendent from his place of exposure and official position, and the boy was left in the charge of Sag-een for disposal. In negative extenuation, the Polander's brutality was in apt illustration of the axiom that like begets like; for after the subjugation and partition of Poland by Russia, Prussia and Austria, its still struggling patriots were treated, in many instances, with a cruelty that in savage severity would discount his premeditated act of torture, which had been branded into his nature by the oft-rehearsed acts of oppression and suffering that had been endured by his people. The gratitude of the Chinese boy was manifested by a strong attachment to his savior, who, although averse to the assistance of a servant, could not withstand his pleadings to accompany him in that capacity, and always proved faithful to his expressions of affection, for he and his children are among our best exemplars of the power of kindly influence.
"With this suggestive preamble, we will now relate Sam Jeh's, Sag-een's ward's interview with the Brazilian apes, which I will give in Mr. Leslie's language:
" 'We had encamped one night about midway between Cratto and Borba on the left bank of the river Madeira. On the following morning we were surprised by the alarmed out-cries of Sam Yeh, who had been to the river to fill our tenagua with water. We had seized our guns and gained the tree-covered summit of the river's bank, when he appeared from out the copse below, struggling with a band of apes for the retention of his head-tail memorial, the end of which was already unbraided and in shreds, while his assailants were tugging with might and main at the body of his queue -- which he had grasped with his hands -- and with jabbering excitement were endeavoring to draw him upward to the limbs of the trees for a nearer inspection of the lusus natur‘, which had transgressed the rule of their precedental knowledge and experience in its outre attachment. The discharge of our guns caused them to desist from their rough scientific investigations; but still the spirit of curious inquiry was only checked to learn the effect produced by the concussive noise, and when they saw that no injury had been caused, they followed us to our camp with a bold impudence, in strong contrast with the mild spirit natural to the Gibbons orang.
" 'From their actions we judged that they looked upon Sam Yeh's tail as a libel upon their own, for after we had repaired and coiled it so that it was concealed beneath his hat, they frequently charged upon him from their tree coverts with manifest tokens of derision. But when we were beyond the confines of the ape country, he, with a feeling of relief, expressed his contempt for their ridicule in the following terms; "Him no shabe, poco tiempo, one, quartro, trace, dos, ciento, one, two, hundry year, no hab tail, all same ike man. No muchee tail now, anyhow!" But in our course north we passed through the black ape country, which caused Sam to become more cautious and respectful in speech. Questioning the cause of his silence, he replied in a cautious whisper -- " Him no speakee, but know all same! When he talkee much, then he no think, and make work like coolie cochin." When we had overcome his disposition to talk strong Chinese and pigeon English, we gathered by scraps some of his childish impressions. From these it appeared that he was a native of Tai-Ping, a mountain province of the lower range of the "Himalaya-Chong," whose inhabitants lived in patriarchal independence, although claimed by both Chinese and Burmese as subjects.
" 'He had been taken at the age of thirteen, and served in Canton and Hong Kong as a negotiable property servant, and as such had been transferred to the captain of a ship, and by him, on his arrival in Callao, to the Polish superintendent. Like the Bornese and Hindoos, his people used the name of Orang as a title of nobility of the most ancient order and highest distinction. We soon learned, from the impression of hereditary habit, that he had derived his source from a people who were accustomed to use thought as a motive of action for the productive supply of the means of contentment, which was esteemed by them the luxury of life. Notwithstanding the extreme youth of Sam Yeb, when deprived of the exampled advantages of this stoic but sure means for the attainment of comparative happiness, he had retained the impression through all the vicissitudes to which he had been subjected, and although reticent in grateful word expressions, possessed in a remarkable degree, a keen perception of all the kindly influences that reached him, and was always in search of means for joyful reciprocation.'
"With this tribute to the gratefully- appreciative intelligence of Sam Yeb, we will now consider for your thought verification the sub-divisions of tail expression common to instinct.
"The Pendu-Queue tail, although in material expression a distinguishing feature of the lower orders of animality of quadrupedal investment is by no means a prerogative of their caste, as the instincts of humanity in degradation from faith in the redeeming grace of the Orang caudality give expression to an inheritance infinitely more debasing in downward tendency. The possession of this tail is indicated in human progression by the curse of knowledge that is proof to the regenerating influence of experience.
"Eve, by the self-indulgence of curious taste, for the instinctive gratification of sense, substituted the pendu-queue for the orang caudal of contentment in nucleus evolvement for angelic flight; and by inaugurating fashion, for the investment of her shame, subjected her posterity to the whimsies of artificial tail faith, which has proved the insufficiency of the loom accelerated by steam power to effect the object of her ambition that prompted her primitive millinery labors. The keen sense of her degradation was manifested in her corrective stimulation of the bereaved parts of Cain for an upright walk, and from this special address to the unwitting cause she provoked the inauguration of sectarian faith in sacrifice for the propitiation of the sins of the flesh. The Serpent who had preached to Eve the first sermon of defiance against the manifest evidences of the source of contentment, to which she had yielded in deference to the wisdom which she supposed to be inherent with the length of his caudal endowment, found in Cain a willing agent for the propagation of sectarian discord. As Eve, in partaking of the fruit of the tree of life offered her by the Serpent, had assumed the role of a goddess, and the attributes of the giver, with a knowledge of good and evil, she probably looked with aversion upon Cain as the first cause of her shame, and from familiarity with sin favored the sacrifice of Abel, which proved an exciting incentive not only to partisan worship and war, but to the innumerable sources of domestic infelicity that hold ruling sway at the present day.
"The Curse of Knowledge that would not profit by experience was plainly indicated by Eve's example of preference shown to her children in making the sacrifice of one appear more acceptable than the other's. It appears that in effect she, in 'virtue' of the Serpent's prophetic sermon, had assumed the role of a corrective goddess for meting out to her children the judgment awards of partial passion, which, in fount, was the source of sectarian discord; that, in the increasing ratio of multiplication from the Serpent text, has deluged the world in blood and propagated with kindred increase for hell's vengeful harvest the ministering agents of her seducer. In being obliged to have recourse to the artificial ordinances of invention to eke substitutes for memorial reverence in symbolic tokens of devotion to the original centre of gravity, she increased the tendency to degradation from the angelic primal seat of departure. So that mankind at the present day, by faith in works for the heavenly gratification of luxurious indulgence, have been enabled by assimilation, in reverse from the upward tendency of the orang tail, to assume by imitation in habit all the pendu- queue variations of expression common to the lower orders of animality. This democratic disposition to avoid the benefits to be derived from experience is shown so distinctly by the gourmand, that the lustful greed of imitative stupidity is alone sufficient to screen the degrading effects. Reflective observation requires no prompting to trace the stunted growths and paralytic movements of the earth's civilized generations to the use of tobacco and spirits and excessive over-indulgence in highly-stimulating food, which provokes gourmandizing propensities.
"It is patent to the experienced knowledge of all, that the calcarious deposits of the gouty gourmands, which affect the joints of their hands and feet, causing enlargement and immobility, are in fact the initial stage of hoof formation, and their swag bellies and jowled cheeks the forerunner of quadrupedal progression. As this downward tendency is hereditary in effect and disposition, it is sufficient to account for the ancient belief in transmigration of the vital soil impressions into kindred representative species after death. For, in degeneration, we should not have to search long or far to find a human representative of the elephant, as the pendulous nose and toothless tendency of the gourmand, with other adjunctive similarity, proclaim a like conformation. Still, in deference to our elephant's comparatively temperate habits, we should be loth to suppose that they ever derived their source of conformation from the proboscidial and pachydermal features of the like degenerate scions of humanity who are known to our present civilization as drunkards. Yet we have the Bible record of Nebuchadnezzar, who was reduced by intemperate indulgence to a grazing condition, and his son, Belshazzar, from hereditary impression, after a prolonged debauch while suffering from delirium tremens -- in defiance of his father's warning example -- saw a hand writing upon the wall in prophecy of a fate that his habits rendered certain.
"Then we have the example of the maniac drunkard, who was dispossessed of his legion of spirits by Christ, which, in appropriate transfer caused a herd of two thousand swine to commit suicide from the choking effects of water.
"The Bible, in ironical and hyperbolic sarcasm of like character, impresses upon its own votaries the source of their own faith and its tendency from ignoring experience to the same end.
"The Dutch, from the earliest records of their people as Batavians, were known to be especially addicted to the gratification of appetite with coarse food, and as it tended to fish, their bodies in bulk were inclined to whalish dimensions, although the prominent parts were differently disposed.
"It is said that Mahomet, when seeking for a special style of architecture with which to distinguish his religious edifices, encountered in Alexandria the crew complement of a Dutch vessel that had been taken by his galleys. Their short, ponderous forms, with domelike tendency behind, amused his curiosity to inquire, 'From what race and place do these infidel slaves come?' On being answered that they were 'mynheers,' that belonged to some country far north, his face gave birth to an expressive smile of satisfaction, and after a few moments' conversation with his architect, he retired to a house that overlooked the market-place, and at a given signal the fattest was made to stand upon his head and feet with his dome erect; upon this was placed an impromptu spire. It is said that the effect of this novel model, which originated the Byzantine style of architecture, threw Mahomet into a paroxysm of laughter which he was unable to control. When the architect approached, after the model had been allowed to assume his upright position, Mahomet exclaimed, 'Allah be praised that he has revealed his design for a temple of worship in a manner so well adapted for the devotional comprehension of his chosen people!' After the architect had perfected his plans, and built the model mosque of Abou Mahommed in the Delta grove of Al Berkit, he Mahometized its cupola and spire with the name of Mynheer-ret(2) (Dutch, dome-tail), which has in the usual way of word usage degenerated into minaret, and the style into the pointed romanesque of Christian adoption, with vane attachments for wind indications. In addition to these illustrative citations showing the tendency of mankind to pendu-queue faith in the regenerative immortality of the stomach natural to instinct, we might add the reverence paid by the pugilistic herd to parts below the belt, and the sacrilegious stigma imparted from a kick directed against the ancient birth-place of the tail. But I see that your own thoughts are now capable of extending the investigation with sufficient deductive accuracy for the confirmation of your faith in the necessity of tail regeneration for angelic flight; and that its Orang endowment was the happy source of contentment to our first parents before they sacrificed its inherent privileges in evolvement for the gratification of lustful desire.
"As knowledge, with its test power of experience and free-will attributes for the exercise of judgment in detecting right from wrong, was bestowed as a substitute for the unbiased source of contentment the tail afforded, you will discover the necessity that devolves upon each individual for its exercise in thoughtful comparison, that the exampled deductions may offer a public demonstration of sincerity; otherwise the individual components of the world's population will become servile contributors to the sectarian leaders of herds, who discourse as mountebanks upon the wastes and burdens of society, while their example, in sarcasm, denounces their hearers as blind dupes to their own thoughtless stupidity.
"You have already acknowledged, with just appreciation; the wisdom of the method we have adopted for the education of our children, which holds parents responsible for ample qualifications and willing dispositions to take charge of their family's instruction in all the departments necessary for the happy development of their faculties for a contentful life.
"This course we have adopted as a pastime, so that we have home proof of its efficacy as an ever- increasing source of happiness, and in perpetuity, as an exampled basis for the evolvement of worth sufficient for the realization of immortality. Instead of Burns' wishful proverb, 'that we might see ourselves as others see us,' which has been adopted by the world as the acme of wisdom in lead for self-correction, we from exampled thought, in reciprocation, desire that others may see us as we see ourselves; which maxim, if generally adopted, would render confidential union stronger by self-legislation in lieu of public; while the occupation it would afford for thought in devisement of means for the exampled welfare of others, would abate the desire for gossiping association under the various styles assumed for congregational attraction, which of themselves declare their absurd inconsistency from source of derivation; but mark the tendency to cycle revolution in habits and customs. It will be quite sufficient for proof demonstration to refer you to the revival of Druidical, Knight Templar, and kindred rite subterfuges of barbarism for pendu-queue herd organizations. But the most significant in germ-manic tendency is the present rage for the establishment of Red-men's lodges, archery and rifle teams, after having used the latter for the extinction of the original representatives of the former.
"This is the style of 'Reformation' that has been in vogue since Cain introduced his sectarian ideas for the permanent correction of his brother Abel's. The free and united States of America will undoubtedly afford an apt example to later emulators of the republican 'system', a way of uniting schismatic discord, for prototype re-enactment. The W -- b -- n and S -- R -- examples of our New England experience in the art of acquiring popular knowledge and Christian unity are certainly to be 'progressively' reproductive in kind; of which we had ocular and mental demonstration, in a sad degree, when we revisited the States for comparison, after an absence of thirty years.
"Notwithstanding the latter, had been subject to a 'wake-field' revival in the routine course of quid pro quo consideration, the pendu-queue propensity for united-division was painfully denoted by additional mynheer- rets, in adaptation to sectarian styles of nondescript architecture, and the towns-people were even more caudially disunited than we had reason to expect; for we found the pastorate-shepherds as vigorously denunciative of opposing ordinances as their preaching Serpent prototype of the garden of Eden. Well aware that you are practically convinced of the necessity of commencing where the tail left off, for making experience the profitable test of knowledge for the assurance of happy contentment, we will now leave you to the guardian care of your own reflective thoughts, with the suggestive relative deductions afforded by the experience of Mood-ee the degenerated, Sank-ee the regenerated, the de-tailed patriarch of benevolence, and the sur-tailed Bridget; who is now in the happy enjoyment of Adam and Eve's contentment before the latter listened to the Serpent's fatal sermon which condemned her posterity to have recourse to faith in artificial tail ordinances for redeeming grace.
"The scornful repudiation of an entailed faith in the contentful caudality of Adam and Eve by civilized communities before it was sacrificed for the inordinate gratification of lustful desire, offers, as we have shown, the strongest confirmation of the cause that led them to conceal the shame of their nakedness 'amongst the trees' of Eden. For at the present day we know that church tribunals and other secret societies use the same means in the multiplied ratio of invention as individuals for the concealment of shameful truths by subterfuge, which presents the Druidical mistletoe mystery to hide from trustful dupes the real motives in use for deception.
"The servile laborer who has ever been striving for phantom freedom sacrifices his power to control his own destiny by ignoring the exampled means by which alone it can be obtained, and becomes a pageant tail to the leaders of congregations and processions, and in sequence pendu-queue for his own shame and the misery of his posterity. This slavery to the worshipful divinities who hold in control the gold and silver currencies of life will continue to increase until the laborer is able from self- legislation to profit by experience in abjuring a desire for 'luxurious' self-indulgence which, in depriving him of self- command, renders him an abject tool for the arbitrary sway of moneyed power. You have participated in the happy source of contentment we have derived from developing each individual within the circle of our exampled influence into a self-elevator with emulative desire of extending the realizations of his happy experience to others.
"In commencing where the tail source of contentment was substituted
by knowledge derived from the brain, promoted by an upright position to
a directing ascendency above the primal seat of unity, we have made experience
practically available for the avoidance of the beguiling influence of Serpent-preaching
and the sectarian results inaugurated by the children of Eve which have
proved in multiplication the hellish incentives to individual animosity
and the provoking cause of holy wars, which have deluged the world with
the blood of dissension. We will now commend you to the kind direction
of our guardian protectors, who in self-revelation style themselves Manatitlans,
and claim with us the soil-impression of mortality, but freedom from the
taint of sectarian dissension. As you have already felt their influence,
which inclines you to thought devisement for self-legislation under the
rule of trustful affection, you cannot doubt the wisdom of their direction."
"When I heard of the peaceful colony of Saar Soong, sixty years ago, I at once determined to avail myself of my relative correspondent's invitation to visit him and test the value of the affectionate life he described. For it appeared so natural to my understanding and free from our Arabian delusive traits of imaginary investment, that I hoped it might satisfy the void that a religion of faith in the belief that the supreme Creator ever mediated with his creatures for their salvation -- other than by the dictates of their original endowment -- had caused. After passing through the novitiate, to which you have been subjected, I became a convert to the manifest evidence adduced, that the germ-manic was evolved from the germ-orang source, while in suspension, subject to balance test for aerial flight or terrestrial degradation. Our traditions, in conjunction with those of the Jews, Magians and Indians, concurred with the Chinese in the transmitted evidence that the transition, in degradation, was caused by a transgression of certain natural laws established for the preservation of contentful simplicity. From collateral symbolical evidence, this agency was over-indulgence in fruit in a fermentable state, or its liquid product, which experience had denounced as a source of degredation. Woman, or the seductress, in all the versions, is made the type of credulity in transmitted portrayal, as she is represented as the dupe to the preaching exhortations of the Serpent which favor the indulgence of her longings in contra-distinction to the dictates of experienced intelligence. In turn she woos man, after the manner of Lot's daughters, and Cain and Abel are in sequence the sectarian results. As a traditional proof positive of germ-orang origin the Jews believe that the bone Luz, or os coccygeal, is the resurrectional seed that will, in renewal, develop the soil of the good man for angelic flight. Our Arabians and the Magians distinguished this bone, or the seed-germ of reproduction, in the original state of purity as Ajb and Tej. In one of our earliest sacred songs it is styled Ajb e al ret, or the tail joint.
"With ordinary capacity for thought deductions, the world's attention directed to the developed predisposition of woo-man, must recognize, in all her fashionable society traits of imitation, a germ-orang inclination to observe with devotional fealty the memorial rites of caudal expression. The surgical achievements of the doctors Babi, for the accomplishment of full regeneration, by the tailacy transferred ingraft of the Gibbons endowment, upon the germ-orang result of their missionary labors, has proved conclusively the necessity of a tail as an addenda source of amusing solace for the encouragement of a contentful mood, and that its loss induces a contrary effect, with tendency to despondency, and succedaneum use of the stomach as a source of consolation. Even the benevolent satisfaction that the old patriarch must derive from the successful disposal of his tail during his lifetime, with the prospective benefit it will confer upon the posterity of Bridget, is not sufficient to wean him from a despondent feeling of shame and nakedness, and an evident feeling of disappointment when he is obliged to substitute faith for his former tangible hold upon reality. As an unselfish sacrifice, for the regenerative redemption of a race, it is certainly unparalleled in the history of mankind, and well establishes the traditional authority that gave to the sacral bone its name, from the sinful sacrifice made by Eye of its caudal appendage. Eve was certainly more successful as the original promoter of fashionable pretext than the fabled fox who lost his tail in a trap, and failed in his endeavor to make his misfortune attractive for general adoption.
"Yet the similarity of incident would lead us to suspect that the author insidiously refered to Eve's sacrifice from the readiness she manifested in swallowing the hook with the Serpent's bait.
"From the mutual reflection of opposing dispositions, in exchange, by the donor and donee, before and after the tailacy transfer, we can trace in effect the fearful penalty adjudged to Eve for her transgression; and in transmission to her posterity the transitions of Mood-ee and Sank-ee will represent the Dives and Lazarus dispensations of rewards and punishments for sins of pride and poverty in the flesh.
"In like manner, in special penalty commemoration of Eve's sexual frailty, her successors in kind are condemned to perpetual labor for the multiplication of fashionable devices to cover the seat of their en-tailed bereavement in artificial similitude to the supposed original endowment when fledged for angelic flight. But from a lack of faith, fashionable experience fails in unity of design for the accomplishment of an effectual sufficiency for insuring a state of happy contentment, so that they constantly require the excitement of renewed caudal impressions to keep them from ennui and despondency. But to Bridget, the natural ingraft of caudality affords a never- ending source of consolation, and amusement, that renders the use of the tongue, for speech entertainment, void in repudiation of the Serpent's colloquial sermonic powers of persuasion that beguiled her maternal ancestress from her allegiance.
"In evidence of the tail's negative power of restraint upon speech, you will find truthful attestation in the fact that Mood-ee before the retributive loss or sacrifice of his tail was roguishly reticent, but Sank-ee, on the contrary, notwithstanding his incipient caudality, supplied by the missionary labors of the Gibbons, was, Job- like, constantly lamenting the insufficiency of his material hopes for contentment, and exhorting his Kubu germ-man cousins to pray without ceasing for redeeming grace sufficient for salvation. But now that he has obtained, through the ingeniously inspired Convert, a contentful realization of sufficiency for redeeming grace, he makes his acquisition the exampled wand of silent direction, while the divorced Mood-ee with voluble exhortation beseeches his recreant member to repent and turn back to its former alliance before it is too late for salvation. Still more significant is the marked change that has been wrought in the Patriarch and Bridget. Your traveled education and cosmopolitan experience must, in sequence, afford you superior advantages for the suitable adaptation of tails for the faithful expression of the motive instincts of the leading religious and political vagarists who furnish their followers with speech capital for the exchange discussions of daily intercourse. With the prompted advantage you now possess for discrimination, you would never lack for an amusing and useful source of employment, in studying the variations of faith in tail manifestation, from the angelic predisposition of Orang source, and from thence in degradation through the metamorphosed stages of translation from the gouty effects of over-indulgence, into the elephant and tapir species of the higher order of pendu-queue distinction, the stub bear, and the stub-twist swine, developed in the germ-manic course of civilized progression. With your present direction you may yet be able to trace the tendencies of evolution in degradation for human assimilation with the lower orders of the pendu-queue castes of instinct; and by offering the simple means of correction in an acceptable manner, relieve the laboring classes from the self-imposed misery of enacting the role of the ass. If you can devise some means by which they can be made to understand that individuals are responsible for the world's misery, inasmuch as self-imposed degradation reduces them to become the warrior murderers for the wholesale control of kings and rulers, they will in train comprehend the cause that has reduced the ass to become a servile drudge, with Job's pendu-queue contentment, subjected to the single choice of a thistle diet.
"Our Arab tribes of the deserts show a more truthful distinctive sincerity in professed open robbery, with an honest hospitality, than nationalities which make traffic subserve as a cover for a dishonest meanness that would astonish with amazed horror the most abject descendants of Ishmael. If you can, by any manner of means, make the laborers realize that honest self-legislation will liberate them from the thraldom of these robber distinctions, with the only difference of greedy subterfuge in enforcement, you will open to them an effectual way to make their works sufficient for a sustaining faith that knowledge is derived from and should be improved by experience, which would lead them to set all example to their children of a faith derived from works which should have commenced where the tail of contentment was sacrificed for cuckoo knowledge."
With this peroration my Arab prompter bade me a hearty good night, and
passed on his way homeward.
Of courswe with your gold and silver allurements, these female addendas are looked upon as grateful pledges you have offered for the sacrificial adornment of the altars of incense in devotional supplication for a renewal of past favors; but now that I have seen a being clothed in the full angelic similitude of our first parent before her fall, I have become enraptured with the desire to test the efficacy of her caudality to impart from its abounding grace a united share of its joyful contentment. As you may have pre- surmised, from the rhythmo-rhapsodial impression developed after my first interview with the highly endowed Bridget Kan Avan, my sentimental appreciation of her loving capability in extension was fully aroused; and I am happy in being able to state that from symptomatic shyness on her part I have reason to believe that I am not altogether indifferent to her ideas of a happy connection. Although sensible of her superior, natural and acquired advantages from the ingraft of wisdom, I feel that out of her superabundance of redeeming grace she will esteem her loss my gain. But, alas! I fear that my frankness will only expose me to your prejudiced laughter, or perhaps you may think that I am disposed to adopt what you may judge to be the humorous idiosyncrasy of my entertainers, who acknowledge themselves feoffees to the orangs by entailed rights derived from pre- Adamic title.
I will acknowledge that the confidential communication of Ran Avan, with regard to his tail impressions, which I then considered to be the effect imparted to the mother during the mento-conceptive period of gestation, caused a disdainful prejudice that depredated his mental capacity in my estimation. After reading Mr. Leslie's journalistic narrative which represented him as of hybrid orang extraction, I looked upon him not only as a being degraded from the caste claims of humanity, but as a nondescript natural curiosity that would afford me an amusing study. This ante-judgment, founded upon historical tradition, demonstrates clearly the little reliance we can place in theoretical opinions having their origin from the impressions of the organs of perception, which are individually speculative in gradation, from the lowest instinct to the highest emotional attainments of humanity. Test experience is the only proof of safety that can anticipate, with assurance, a safe result. My ideas of natural propriety had derived their origin from the traditional impressions of habit, which had received in turn the fashionable substitutes of invention as progressive improvements in subterfuge devisement for tail expression, as with artificial limbs and teeth, although lacking in their useful qualifications.
With the proof experience of Saar Soong. I have leamed that the traditional impressions of civilization, have been de-tailed in transmission from the Serpent sermon, Eve's fall in consequence and rudimentary loss of the germ- angelic resources of flight, and natural protection from shameful exposure; which gave birth to sinful subterfuge, Cain and Abel's sectarian example, proxied prayers, rites and ceremonies in pretext for salvation from the distailed woes inherited from the curse of multiplication, that exceeded the uncultivated resources of fruitful growth and of necessity enforced labor. But in the characteristic language of Mohammed, when his inventive genius witnessed the effect of the artificial spire erected on the natural dome of the Batavian, 'Allah be praised for this natural revelation of the Mynheer-ret! for the like as an exampled source of inspiration must prove a sacred index of direction to every true believer.' I felt its truthful impression when peeping from beneath the skirt of Bridget's dress, in waggish exhortation, I saw the caudal extremity of her angelic nucleus pointing upward from prehensile curve, with the desire to have me embrace, with renewed faith, the only hopeful means for contentful salvation.
Notwithstanding the favorable indications of reciprocal attraction afforded by our first interview, and my rhythmical vision of cause and effect enacted in the Garden of Eden, her full endowment for fledged angelic flight has made me feel the poverty of my shameful bereavement; so that through fear that the Patriarch's tailacy may have conveyed to her his own impressions of a degenerate mesalliance, I have only seen her through the medium of my field-glass while engaged in the mystic evolutions of the hand dance. But my Arab mentor assures me that the tailacy was conferred for the purpose of extending the fruits of the Gibbous' missionary labors, in a legitimate way, for the ingraft of contentment, in freedom from over-indulgence and consequent multiplication of misery. So that in our union there would be a sufficient as a capital for compound investment, and with but a slight contribution of faith on my part they would work together for the good of our posterity. Your thoughts will of course suggest the verdict that I may expect from fashionable society, with its "wastes and burdens," also public and pendu-queue herd opinions, upon the outre characteristics of "the match:" but with my experience, a wife with natural resources for self- gratification and amusement is greatly to be preferred above one who is obliged to have recourse to millinery aids for a revival of faith in the belief of angelic translation. Society from its artificial prejudices has proved a "waste and burden" to itself, as well as a curse to the laborer who toils and drudges to bestow the rewards upon drones, whose capital resides in the speculative art of making the animal propensities of their victims subjective, by fostering habits of indulgence beyond their means. For these legitimate descendents of the sermonic Serpent of the garden of Eden, whose precepts and example betray their origin, I have no respect, as head, tail and fangs are too closely united to cause other emotions than those be stowed in avoidance.
If you could only enjoy my privileges, my dear Marvel, you would be soon impressed with the wonderful influence exerted for the inspiration of faith, as well as the collateral resources of contentment and silent meditation, from tail contemplation as a source of realization. At present you are obliged to consider its influence as an artificial abstract, with a special tendency for female development as a source of atoning grace; but if you could inspire the members of your scientific society with an adequate missionary enthusiasm for the extension of the Gibbons' art of Kubu regeneration, you would give a renewed impulse to the word reformation, so happily inaugurated by Henry VIII of England. I have faith to believe, that with the fashionable adoption of the Kubu germ- orang revival of the caudal extremity, the inventive genius of our people would soon devise means for its useful extention, with tailophonic communication with the brain, as an inspiring source for the reciprocation of reformatory knowledge. With all experienced knowledge of Bridget's accomplishments, combining the useful, amusing and self- entertaining, your society members would, I am certain, become enthusiastically active for the promotion of an object with a caudal tendency to restore modesty to her original and sinless seat of devotion, in freedom from the brain cozening devices of "virtue and morality" derived from the languaged vocabulary of the sermonic Serpent. To this end the efficacy of my own experience can testify, as I have found an increase of abiding faith in it as the source of our hopes for angelic evolution. With due consideration, the members of our scientific Alma Mater, will, I am sure, appreciate this addenda resource for the relief of their brains from the surcharge of theoretical knowledge, and the wear and tear of their tongues in word evolution, as well as its precedental value as an index of reference, and silent monitor for hopeful inspiration!
Thirty minutes later. As if in prophetic proof-fulfillment of my ante-date sentence, as I closed it, my eyes caught sight of Bridget, and her sister train, approaching at a swift hand pace, from limb to bough, up the tree avenue of the orang walk, which is commanded by my cottage window. Breathless with expectation, my eyes watched her graceful movements, which were accompanied in concerted action and caudal expression, with an entranced gaze, that seemed to annihilate space for her embodiment with self- invisioned reality, until she alighted at my window and presented to me a letter, which was delicately retained within the prehensile curve of the patriarch's tailacy. It has been my lot to receive presents from the fair hands of our civilized ladies, with the enhancing sparkle of brilliant eyes, and melodious chime of cultivated speech, but never with such ecstatic emotions as were imparted from that primo-germ-orang source of contentment. Never will the inexpressible emotions of that moment pass from my memory, impressed as they were with the tailophonic expression of her eyes as an assurance of loving brain concurrence, under the supervision, in extension, of the savior-beneficed wisdom of the patriarch. Grateful expression, with words, would have proved an aggravation in recompense for the caudal impressions imparted from that guileless touch. Seemingly aware, in retroversion, of my reciprocation, she turned and departed as she came; and, if possible, I was still more entranced with the retrospective grace of her movements, especially as the emblematic source of attraction was depressed in regretful signification of deferred hopes. Long after Bridget and her train had passed from view, I continued to gaze into the halo vacancy through which she had bodily disappeared.
My dear Marvel, if you could but realize the vast difference between Christian love founded upon the redeeming grace of faith in artificial rites, as the means of atonement for Eve's transgression, and true caudality ingrafted upon the regenerated germ-angelic, which she sacrificed for the attainment of theoretical knowledge founded upon practical experience, beyond the reach of saving grace from repentance, you would be able to appreciate and sympathize with my shameful doubts of eligibility to share with her a tailacy that suffices for perfect contentment, while I am solely dependent upon pendu- queue coat-tails to cover my nakedness. Still, there is in her addenda an attraction that proves a prefix of infatuation for my constant gaze, so that I am like the man with the sun in his rear in pursuit of his shadow for reunion, while the substance of the thing hoped for resides within himself.
Forty Minutes alter the conclusion of the above sentence: Of one thing I feel certain, rhythmic measure must have been entailed as a source of angelic faith from a pre- Eveic state, which was allowed to be retained as the dower of hope for poetic revival after Eve-viction.
The head and tail, with faith, must oft combine
To give with truthful sense the force of rhyme;
That this is fact, the poets' list will show,
When traced from Solomon to Edgar Poe
In proof, when recovered from my halo impression, forgetful of the letter cause of her visit, I sought, with my field-glass, an interview at her trysting-place in the oak grove. With the first focal glance, I became aware of a costumic revival of Eve's subterfuge for the concealment of her shame, which gave vent to the following inspiration:
"Gentle Bridget, as thy tail peeps out,When the pic-nic revival scene, consequent upon Eve-viction, had received satisfactory commemoration, the nymphs, under Bridget's lead, winged their way in unfledged hand flight, homeward, and I returned to my cottage to meditate upon the ways and means, in devisement, for the attainment of my hopes, and if realized, in question of the result.
From beneath thy leafy dress of fern,
Its taper upward curve, lithe wags about,
As if, from extension, it would spurn,
The native dress, bound with orchid vine,
In faint resemblance to crinoline.
"When withdrawn, from present index state,
And the hirsute dress, that nature gave,
Is doff'd by the onward march of fate,
And tailless, a soul is gained to save;
Your successors' children then will find
The poor exchange made with tail for mind.
"Even with your beauty's partial dawn
While yet remnant tall and hair remain
Departing relics of wood-nymph faun,
Past shadows will cause you future pain;
Should herald proclaim your 'coat of arms,'
As a vise to fashion's social charms.
"Alas, innovations spell is cast,
And the long ancestral Gibbons tail,
With its pedigree, now waning fast,
Like earthly hopes entailed, soon will fail.
Then vanity, with fickle passion.
Will make it cause for change of fashion.
"Now your cravings nature well supplies
And instinct finds present recompense
In each passing moment as it flies.
Regretful sorrows, that wait on 'sense,'
From envious hate and jealous scorn,
Will prove, with knowledge, a constant thorn.
"Still, if you make a wise selection,
Of age, well-matured from nature's page,
From cross you will find sure protection;
For, with mind entailed -- ;your husband's gage --
Will far exceed, in intrinsic worth,
Reputation, gained alone by birth!"
Experience has taught the human descendants, in sequence to the uncaudalized knowledge of Eve and Adam, that members perfected from deciduous inception are never re- supplied from natural resources when lost; the deduced rare exceptions having been traced to germ duplication.
But, as with our first parents, repentant shame and a feeling of naked destitution leads to lamentation, prayers for restitution, memorial ritual observances founded upon habit, and, when practicable, artificial substitutes. Equally well known is the fact that, with the deciduous exceptions, the loss of an incorporate member does not impair the sensorial impression of its continued functional existence. In evidence that the loss of the tail was from primal cause founded upon a transgression of Nature's laws, as in partial degree demonstrated by the Bible's traditionary record, is sustained in Eve sequence by woman's artificial memorial rites of commemoration from transmitted habitual impressions; and man's continued devotion to the lure instigated by the preaching beguilement of the Serpent, which consummated the transgression with the curse of continued tailless reproduction in multiplied progression. The tailful expression of Bridget's congenial contentment and caudal source of amusement, in freedom from ennui and disinclination to talk with its accession, in contrast with her previous despondent state, consequent upon gossiping loquacity, at once declares the ascendency of the orang tail as the prime ordinate source designed for angelic development. With these enforced reflections, consequent upon the exampled Chata illustrations, I cannot escape the certain conviction that, Eve and Adam continued to act under the sermonic Serpent's inspiration of faith in the belief of their god-like attainments in defiance of the misery incurred from continued indulgence. Else, as the only exemplars of their kind, they would have exerted a happy influence for the imitation of their children. The sectarian manifestation of envious hatred by Cain and Abel shows clearly that their sacrificial devotions were derived from Serpent inspiration, as they were devoid of the contentful affection inherent with their parent's first estate.
The probable effect produced upon Adam by the loss of his tail I can see illustrated by the de-tailed orang Mood-ee, who is condemned to follow his transferred member with the forlorn hope that faith, in words of exhortation, prayer, and anathematization, will prove sufficient for its final restoration and his redemption from the sinful tendency of an upright walk to total depravity. In the possessive tail ecstacy of San Kee and the special desire he shows toward a young female Gibbons, I can readily trace in her indifference and coquettish allurements the cause that led to Adam's fall. Indeed, from the mature judgment that has been shown by the Doctors Babi as tail curators and genealogical delineators of genus and specie variations, with their predisposing traits of instinct, I feel well assured from my own impressions that faith manifestations can be humanized as a test of society's caste grades. From the prehensile long-tailed, adapted for the full realization of faith in abounding grace, through all the pendu-queue gradations of brush or foxy, tuft, ox, ass, lion, down to the stub and stub-twist, the distinctions in human expression are as evident, when patronized, as in instinct specialties to the disposition born. This much, from contrasted reflection of past experience with present, I have been able to verify.
Mr. Leslie, sr., who has just entered, expresses a desire, with smiling inquisitiveness, to learn the content of the letter brought by Bridget, which her presence had caused me to forget. In compliance with his request I opened it and found that it was from her brother. As its contents are characteristically expressive of educated Kubu capacity, I will copy it for your perusal. It clearly shows how easy it is to pervert the natural tendency of the Gibbons missionary labors when subject to the habits and customs of a pendu-queue faith belief in the immaculate conception and kindred transubstantiations.
"By me faith, I speak the truth when I confide in you, entre nous, the fact, that after all my devotion it has been rewarded with a vandal invasion of my rights of person and property. The attack was unprovoked and most cowardly, as my unnatural sisters took me at a disadvantage while me and my father were subject to a spiritual trance, and while hors du combat and unable to defend myself they bound me to a couch, and under the direction of the nagur doctor actually bastinadoed the soles of my feet, for the purpose, as he pretended, of producing reaction for the relief of my brain, You may be sure that I expostulated in the strongest cosmopolitan language known to sacred or profane history, but it only aggravated the counter irritation, as the nagur called it. There is a point, you known, where endurance ceases to be a virtue; well, when they reached that I am ashamed to say that my Spartan courage left me, and I begged them to let me reason the case in my own defence. Well, then they stopped, but placed a glass before me, and I will acknowledge that the looks of my face and a glance at my father's left me little courage for argument, and I gave it up. Then they washed, dressed and petted me, and finally, with their kind treatment, wheedled out of me a promise not to use ardent spirits or tobacco; but as it was a kind of compulsion, I didn't feel that I had pledged my word of honor. The fact is, I found the whole family, except father, in a complete state of heathenism, with little or no knowledge of the rites and ordinances of religion, and as for a prayer-book, or anything of the kind, there is not one to be found on the estate. For I hunted for one, when I was overtaken the third time, to show them the authority of my quotation that sins are meet for repentance, and are only to be punished by the law, and that the transgressor is to be forgiven for the seventy-seventh time.
"To make a long matter short, father and I overhauled the old glen-still, and run it with a banana awl potato mash, and a fortnight ago got into a little religions and political argument while testing the liquor; but I was in flesh and short winded, and he got the better of me, so they found us the next morning where we fell, father keeping his advantage, and carted us home with as little regard to affectionate secrecy and shame as if we had been the carcasses of swine, instead of being as we were a father and brother. When they had 'brought us about' with the bastinado, in the usual way, I gave them a piece of my mind, and as the effects of the liquor, from the combination (my own invention) was a little stronger than we had calculated, my feet were not in a condition to make me mince matters in speech when they had established an equilibrium in the circulation, as the nagur called it. But, as father was getting an extra dose from my exhortation, 'and the bad example he had set me in the multiplication of curses,' in anguish of spirit he cried, 'Pat, my boy, will ye be after holding your gab, and profit by my experience? --- else ye'll pay the debt of old Adam over again with interest.'
"When I accused them of their barbarous and Cainlike lack of filial
and fraternal love and gratitude, as well as of a generous spirit of pity
that should have pleaded with gentle words of caution, that we should use
the luxuries of life bestowed by a kind Providence for our regalement,
with moderation, they answered with one voice, that we had transgressed
the natural provisions of Providence for slaking our thirst which had been
self- created by an artificial stimulus, and that as like cures like, they
had adopted the best means for our recovery. Delilah seems to be the mouthpiece
of the old doctor, and is as pungent in speech as act, for when I referred
to the rheumatic tenderness of my feet to enlist her pity, she said that
the pains and creaking of the bones of my feet and hands were only the
premonitory symptoms of hoof evolution, as a warning of the beastly tendency
of my habits, and that the elongation and swelling redness of my nose 'indicated
its transformation into a snout with which the bleared eyes and swag belly
were in correspondence!' In faith, I have more than a presentiment that
the old nagur of a doctor, with his sons, intends to endow me with the
patriarchess' caudality if I am caught napping again under high pressure,
which they style a dernier resort for my reformation! So you see, that
I must not stand on the order of my going, but go, if I would preserve
my naturalized birthright as an American citizen. Nevertheless, if the
Chinese are allowed to come in under their artificial tail memorial, the
California judicature could not with reason deny my primogenital rights
of precedence under an accession of tail from natural ingraft, although
it might raise the question of woman's votive privilege if the source of
the endowment became generally known. You will understand from the word
that my political ambition still lives and yearns for a free country, but
as tail honors and distinctions are not recognized there openly, as yet,
except as ordinance rites, legitimate fact attestation of my caste superiority
would rather injure than avail me, so it's better that I should still take
Time by the forelock, instead of waiting to lay hold of his tail extension,
or allowing my opponents to lay hold of mine, to decry me and their own
lack of genealogical knowledge. But with my present experience I might
" 'Arrab, if I only had the power to induce them to takeBut enough of myself for the present. I am happy to say that Delilah and Judith were the doctor's special instruments for the infliction of his diabolical instigations, and not Bridget, who took a love fancy to you at first sight, and should hate that doctor forevermore for inoculating her with the outrageous tail of the old Patriarch, who was induced to bequeath it under the pretension that as it was mother Eve's source of contentment, before she lost it by her fall, it would cure her despondency. But, for all that, I am sure that the capacity of her accomplishments, to which it adds in remarkable degree --- having relieved her from the fears she entertained of the lack of sufficiency of the Gibbons missionary labors for salvation --- would do your choice honor; bating the novelty of her resources in superiority over the unregenerated modern lady, for with constant devotion to the development of its innate capacity she has made it useful and amusing as well as ornamental, and with its companionship she never suffers from ennui.
A demijohn apiece of the leveling mixture I could make,
Not an aristocratic lord of them all should be left standing
To wheedle democratic voters to the polls by commanding.'
"As you are learned in the law, it struck me, as long as the thing has been done and is irrevocable, that perhaps in an equity suit you might prove --- as the Leslies acknowledge themselves feoffees, from him --- that the patriarch intended the transfer of his tailacy as a conveyance of his primogenital rights in the Saar Soong property in entail to her, with the documentary evidence of his own caudal in proof as signature! It would appeal to me that a free and enlightened jury under oath to divulge nothing but truth in their verdict, would so consider it, with the fear of confession and absolution in view! To be sure it would have appeared more legitimate if in infancy you had been blessed with the advantages of the Gibbons missionary labors for a more direct translation of the instrument of bequest through you to her posterity. However, entre nous, Bridget has confided her predilection for you to me, and I heard her in apostrophe addressing her love to you in the pathetic language of Ruth: 'Thy God shall be my god, thy people my people. and my tail thy tail, or a sufficiency thereof for full faith in its efficacy for angelic regeneration and contentment!' Of course it can't be expected that I can understand all the hifalutin ideas that they have put into her head, that made her feel, as she said, the insufficiency of her initial endowment for a realization of angelic faith. But the old Hindu has instilled into her as well as the rest that the old Serpent beguiled Eve to induce Adam to indulge in a draught of the fermented juice of the cocoa stem, with the belief that it would give him the godlike power to re- create in the likeness of himself for the worship of his posterity. But, too late for remedy, he got fou, and Eve conceived Cain in the likeness of the tempter, and thereafter caused the seal of paternity to become a source of theoretical perplexity. They urge that my civilized habits and tastes are artificial, and derived from the source of temptation, and that they increase appetite for the craving of more than enough for healthy satisfaction, and that the simple unfermented juices of fruits are far more refreshingly grateful to the natural taste than in the irritating forms derived from distillation. When I referred them to the testimony of Noah, Lot, Solomon and St. Paul, and other scripture worthies, as authority for stimulating our nervous systems up to a just appreciation of past witty reminiscences; they replied that my quotatitions and acts demonstrated the continued multiplication of the absurd follies that served as capital of re-enactment for the Bible's prophetic record. But that true affection would prove an exampled record that would banish regretful reflections, and raise the standard of earthly enjoyment beyond the reach of temptation from gratifications in excess of enough for the realization of health.
"In fact, while under the impressions of a severe headache, and the persuasive admonitions of sisterly love applied to the soles of my feet, I was forced to confess that I had given little heed to the warnings of experience. Even my father, who trims his sails, when sober, to catch the favoring waft of the domestic breeze, while I was remonstrating with Delilah and Judith upon the indelicacy of appearing in their native garb, without the advantage of Bridget's modest screen from shame; addressed me with reproof.
" 'Pat,' says he, 'its but little you'll gain by the use of your tongue if ye cannot spake the Christian language dacently; an by that same token ye'll multiply your woes for me to bear the penalties, for they lay it to my charge that ye have not improved your advantages to grow in grace for the sanctification of your natural endowment. Now Pat, if ye'll be spachless, or think before ye speak, ye'll be an example for your poor old father, who has suffered so much that ye might be educated with the advantages of spiritual toleration,' You see, my dear M. Shawtinbach, that I am in a sort of outlawry, both natural and religious. The tailors laughed at me, my uncle half repudiated my relationship, and the priests were doubtful whether I was entitled to the privileges of confession and absolution, while the giggling inuendos of the girls declared my secret patent, and marriage hopeless unless I was willing to accept the forlorn hope of an old maid's affection, which had run the gauntlet of disappointed expectations to the extent of their tailings.
"Even here I am put to shame by my own relatives who accuse me of neglecting to cultivate my natural talent developed by the missionary labors of the Gibbons. As there is nothing private or sacred here --- which you have probably learned ere this --- it will not surprise you to learn, or offend the delicacy of your sensibility, when I inform you that they took advantage of my person when I was under a cloud, and held a sort of post mortem measurement of my germ caudal for comparison with my sisters.' The result of this surreptitious infringement upon the reserved rights of the personal constitution sacred to civilized and religious codes, was an inch lost by retraction. This discrepancy the doctor attributed to gouty rheumatism from over-indulgence, but in my opinion the tailors were more directly accountable, but they usually asked me whether I was accustomed to wear it out or in, so that it will exculpate them from wilful intention. But, as with Father Oderat and the Rev. Mr. Ralltkin, you have apostatized from the belief that faith in artificial ordinances of tail grace are sufficient in efficacy for heavenly assurance, I can give you a brother's word that you will find in Bridget convincing proof of a happy reality that with works will bring forth fruits well fledged with the spirit of pre-historic contentment. But if you'd prefer a real sprig of our family tail free from ingraft, with a spice of the devil that caused Mother Eve to beget Cain, you can take Delilah, and you'll be sure to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for by that same token you'll never know when you're safe in your own boots.
"With this warning you'll have to bide your choice, for Saar Soong is no she-cargo where you can change your freight at will.
"Bridget's cultivated natural capacity for discoursing, with soul-inspiring instrumental accompaniments, angelic melodies, exceeds by far that of any artist that ever lived within the historic period of our world. This statement may appear to you like the boasting egotism derived from the genealogical impression of hereditary nobility! --- but I can assure you that with the full consummation of marital rites you will thankfully acknowledge that it is a stern reality that in self-glorification will more than vindicate the partiality of a brother's reverential love. However much, sectarian and scientific captiousness may cavil in questioning the legitimacy of her superior endowment, they can't abridge the fact of possession by any theory that refuses to acknowledge the natural restitution and concentration of power in the original seat of honor, devised for the contentment of Adam and Eve, before the united head and tail of the Serpent made our common mother covetous for the realization of its godlike power. In faith, the fact can't be disputed that love of country and truth, as well as pat-riot-ism, derive their source of nativity from thence, which begets a germ- manic reverence for the subjacent soil of their mater-land birthplace. An sure, the proof is, that its not the truth at all that the world's been seeking, since the head assumed the abdicated functions of the tail! but the diplomatic means of mystifying its original aspirations as the source of contentment. Or as the nagur doctor says, that when the honest wag of the tail was sacrificed by mother Eve's ambitious vanity, her tempter, the old Sarpint, the father of lies, transferred her tongue its waggish propensities and endowed it with the speech functions of his specialty for the multiplication of words as the preaching source of faith regeneration. By that same sign, ye can bear witness to the truth of his comparison, when he says that a dog's tail never wags with pleasure while his voice gives utterance to a growl of hate in the presence of an enemy. But, of course, you cannot fully appreciate the illustration with only faith in substitution for the experienced materialization of our regenerated tail functions derived from the missionary labors of the Gibbons. Yet, to be sure, ye know from your own experience that your tongue can wag with words of friendship while your head is hard at work for the means to injure their dupe! Indade, how often our mothers in Israel give a kiss and a compliment of fashionable import, in communion, when a scratch would demonstrate more truthfully their intention's desire.
With the loss of the angelic germ and change of base, he teaches that those who devote themselves to the thoughtful use of the head in following the whimsies begot under the banner of tail faith rarely reproduce their kind ill multiplication, but content themselves in giving birth to theories hatched from the egg usage of habit derived from hereditary impression. For the proof of what he says he refers to the godhead amours of the Chinese, Indian, Egyptian and Greek creeds, which culminated in the immaculate conception and birth in the stable of Bethlehem, all of which sufficiently denote the tail inspiration of faith.
"Now, my dear Mr. Shawtinbach, it's puzzled that I am to make out with my Christian education the basis upon which my obligations rest; there are so many distinctions without a difference, and so many differences without a distinction. Bridget says, with truth, that all the religions of mankind have originated in caves and stables in order to convey the impression to the senile victims of their oppression an idea of lowly and meek equality as the source of regeneration, while in fact the real emblem of representation is, that the laity are to act as beasts or burden to priestcraft, and that they are pendu- queue in all their tendencies. Whereas, the primo-genitorial condition of our first parents as tail-fledged orangs declares their freedom from the dung-hill ties of earth which bespeak corruption, and a tail pinnate posterior ordination designed for heavenly flight."
Now, you see, with all these bearings, the question of alternative arose, whether it would be better for me to remain here subject to annexation with the patriarchess' tailacy, or gratify my political ambition by going to the Cradle of Liberty, where they have tacitly acknowledged the legitimacy of my prima facie posteriori evidence of regeneration by ignoring the memorial transfer of the Chinese tail to the head as all evidence of irreclaimable paganism, beyond the reach of the home missionaries' prayers for the sanctified influence of saving grace?
"Now the short of the matter is, as he says, my Christian education, derived from the halo of Saint Phadrig, has established habits of indulgence which have not only curtailed the missionary labors of the Gibbons, but have rendered the aspirations of faith abortive for the full realization of the abounding efficacy of pardoning grace sufficient for heavenly regeneration. So you see, that in fact I have nothing to fall back upon but my political ambition and Catholic faith in miracles for the sanctifying fructification of extreme unction. In the event of your union with Bridget, let me hope that you will jointly intercede at the throne of grace that I may enjoy the blessings vouchsafed, with a new heart, constitution, and the privileges of a new birth for the Eve-ventful realization of tail contentment enjoyed by our first parents before their fall.
"For which your brother in expectation, Patronimick Ran Avan, will ever pray."
After the reading of the letter, Mr. Leslie, in explanation, said that it had been customary for Doctor Olu Babi to assume the dictatorial powers of judge- arbitrator for the adjustment and correction of family misdemeanors, as his age placed him beyond the prejudice of partial passion. If the transgression of right did not extend beyond the limits of a family, the correction was confined to it, under the Doctor's direction. In all cases the parents were held responsible in degree for the habits and acts of their children, as they are imparted and impressed by example. But injuries, from whatever connection derived, were corrected through the influence of the party of relatives injured. In the case of the Kan Avans, the father was accountable to the son for his education; and from reflex action the son on his return was the active agent in obtaining the spirits for their mutual intoxication. The other children, as sufferers from their worse than beastly example, were adjudged to act in the capacity of bastinadors for the counter-irritation of their soles, to arouse their brains from alcoholic stupor.
"The tableaux of judgment in execution, under the doctor's direction, to a stranger would appear in the light of a serio-comic transaction; but for the sober unction of the restorative infliction and consequent contortionate expostulations of those subject to redeeming attrition. The doctor, when called upon to administer justice at the Kan Avan's, in restorative application, was attended by the senior Maltese as a sort of cat-Adam, who sat upon his shoulder as a juror to witness the ordinance of vital regeneration from the hereditary sins of the flesh, transmitted in exampled effect from the rudderless passions derived from the curtailment of our first parents. The 'court-room,' where the culprits were arraigned upon conches, with the soles of their feet exposed and confined over a high 'foot-board,' answered the purpose of a sitting- room for concert and like entertainments for the family; but instead of chairs the ceiling supported a circular series of suspended trapeze-bars for passive-rest and hand-hold progression. Upon these, in flight, the sisters of Kan Avan, in rotation, inflictecl upon the upraised soles of son and father strokes from a punctured leather battledoor, which were timed and toned in strength by the measure of Doctor Olu's wand and the sympathetic movement of the Maltese cat's stub relic of an hereditary tail. On the first occasion of Pat's junior experience of the revivifying effect of this novel process of sole regeneration, the energetic expression of his languaged expostulation bespoke in vocabulary recitation the anathematizing power of words derived from his Christian education, in appeal to the presiding deities in rule over the ultimate departments designed for the eternal recreation of the soils of just men made perfect and those of the damned. But as his vociferations were in appeal to, and in emanation from his divinity and devil of selfishness, the wand of the doctor expressed, with that of the juror, more energetic power, which stimulated sisterly remonstrance for a more decisive demonstration. When his voice had become croakingly hoarse and his soles nearly blistered from his varied appeals to the superior and nether deities of his heavenly and hellish realms of bliss and torture, his father expostulated: 'An' sure, Pat, can't ye learn from experience that the lashings of yer tongue with your feet in limbo gie ye back wid multiplication what you invok'?' Upon this hint Pat's discretion gained the ascendency, and his mother was allowed to nurse his feet with soothing applications; and after two or three days' repentant meditation, during which he was subdued; while his wondering admiration was excited by the exquisite harmony of quintette compositions that reached him from the music room. As he knew that there were but two pianos, the varied reach and novel harmony of the counter base, combined with the marvelous execution and volume of sound elicited by the peculiar touch, wrought his curiosity to the highest pitch of endurance.
On the third morning after he had experienced the reactive ordeal of the domestic tribunal, during the absence of his mother, whose silence had aggravated his curiosity to learn how the intricate style of the composition could be wrought with the fingers, he essayed a trial of his feet to surprise the performers. With the aid of two sticks he hobbled to the door of the music room, and opened it softly that he might not startle the performers. You will perhaps be able to realize something of his surprise when he discovered that Bridget was the sole artist, whose wonderful capacity had been cultivated for the successful attainment of the highest perfection in the development of her natural and acquired ability. Fortunately she was seated with her back to the door, poised upon a music stool between the two pianos, and so absorbed in the improvisation of variations to the oratorio of Moses in Egypt that his involuntary exclamation did not attract her attention. Indeed, when he saw her clothed in all the personal attractions inherent with Eve before she was tempted by the Serpent's length of tail to become a goddess with the knowledge of good and evil, in multiplication, he became speechless with shame. But gradually, as her quadrumanal fingers of representative hands and feet compassed in quartette the score, with harmonized variations of her own angelic inspiration, under the magic sway of an entailed counter-base from the graceful touch of the patriarchal endowment, which in reach controlled the octaves of the second piano, Patronimick became entranced. In this mood, it was not long before his cultivated perception discovered that her tail subserved the purpose of a director's baton, for the measure of time and the consonance of concordic effect. The pain of his own feet and the entrance of Delilah, the active cause, from the opposite door, at length aroused him from his maze, compounded from musical encharmment and astonishment. Giving voice to the angry emotions Delilah's presence revived, he exclaimed, 'Shame upon you, Bridget; have you no respect for yourself or your brother's presence, that you expose yourself in nature's toilet, unadorned with the improvements that progressive civilization has multiplied since Eve's art device in substitution for a tail to conceal her chagrin.'
"To which Bridget quickly replied: 'And sure, Pat, is it kind of you to remind me that the tailacy is not my own altogether, that ye will not let me enjoy the fruits of its heavenly capacity for angelic cultivation?'
"The extreme emotions of tears and laughter and kindred ebullitions of passion engendered from lustful transgression had probably never been experienced while our first parents were in the enjoyment of their original tailful source of contentment, for even the ape and baboon, with their curtailed powers of imitation, are unable to approach nearer than a grimace for their expression. Although allied in educated habits to the long-tailed Gibbons, in addition to the Kubu germ-tail endowment-derived from their missionary labors in the extension of the os coccygeal proviso --- the Kan Avans and kind were in like manner incapacitated for more than a grimaced expression of tearful and mirthful moods. The first of these Bridget expressed in expostulation while she played a quintette dirge with variations in E minor. The touch of the tail, in the execution of its part, moved so sadly with the inspiration of harmonized cadence, that Pat, with all his christian fortitude in array to suppress his emotions, whimpered outright, but ashamed of his weakness turned and hobbled back to his couch.
"This conference revival of the spirit of saving grace imparted from the influence of a new birth regeneration from patriarchal ingraft, caused Pat to reflect upon its simple sufficiency in the extent of original endowment before Eve-viction. As if mindful of his thought meditation, Bridget by a series of millinery tailipulations showed the capacity of her caudal endowment to clothe and adorn her person with all the raiment requirements of modesty, without tantalizing expectation with partial exposure in hopeful anticipation of a more perfect heavenly revelation. Delilah, who had observed Pat's emotion, and the cause, besought Bridget to improve the opportunity to make his calling and election sure before he had sinned away the day of grace. Giving heed to her exhortation, Bridget played with the unction of a 'divine's' inspiration:
" 'Come all ye weary, heavy laden sinners, come,"With this prelude she entered Pat's room from a door fronting his couch, in an attitude which exposed at a glance the comprehensive simplicity of the original endowment as a contentful source of sufficiency for an abiding hope of full-fledged exaltation in angelic flight. The effect fully realized her expectations; for Pat exclaimed, with the instinctive enthusiasm of an inspired convert, 'An sure, Bridget, if they could only see and hear your capacity for modest deportment and literary accomplishments, the nobility and learned of every land could not fail to acknowledge the blest sufficiency of Adam for the contentment of Eve before her fall brought the sin of multiplication into the world and all our woes. Arrah, how great a worriment would have been saved in millinery material and dressmaking if Eve's curiosity had been satisfied with enough, with out wishing for more, from the temptation of the Serpent's tail and tongue talk as the god- like beginning and end of fashion and hypocrisy inaugurated by the father of lies! By that same token, in poetical expression, ye might say with truth ---
And I will give you rest from all your woes.'
" 'Of food and raiment they had enough, and more" 'Yea, yerily, in the language of the Psalmist, it is plain to be seen, that when bereft of the tail, modesty required Eve to assume an upright walk, which was no longer suitable for tree subsistence; hence her fall from fruit dependency to the curse of labor multiplication, which in train gave birth to want and mechanical invention to supply our hereditary craving for more than enough.'
Than their wants required; and for fashion's sake,
To shrive, and eke out the line of beauty's score,
A tail, when fledged, to guide in angelic wake.'
"To this exordium of her brother, Bridget replied in exhortation. 'Ah, Pat darling, if we could but realize the truth of what ye speak you would cultivate with extreme unction for renewed grace the neglected talent revived from the altar of the os sacrum by the missionary labors of your god-fathers. Why can ye not take your own experience as a guide, and base your faith upon their labors for a hopeful regeneration? Surely, ye must feel that ye have been blest above your father's generation in possessing the material evidence of renewed grace. An' if ye will but cultivate with a meek and lowly spirit the gift of grace, it will in the end work out your own salvation. For mind ye, Pat, do ye not see from the memorial changes of fashion in dresses that your people have no abiding faith in the sufficiency of the ordinance rites of artificial tail grace for atonement? An' how could ye look upon your women's bedraggled dress ordinances of tail grace, that adds dust to their bodies for an increase of soil from loathsome sources of corruption, without feeling the cleanly aspirations of your germ-angelic endowment? Or have ye no memory of shame for your condition when your four hands and your father's were turned to feet, and you groveled on all fours in likeness to beasts, whose flesh our mothers' ancestors thought it cannibal taste to eat? If you think and speak the truth, do you not feel in the creaking stiffness, which ye call rheumatism, that from your habits your hands and feet are turning to hoofs, and that the posterity of your likes will assume their condition? Ah, Pat, if ye would but learn the truth from experience, you would realize from your senses that your stomach is in doubt of the grade of instinct to which it belongs. Can ye not see from the delirium tremens of you drunkards, which multiplies the Serpent's progeny, that he was the father of indulgence, the source of lies; and that from the limits of simplicity reduced to enough the source of contentment is derived?'
"To Bridget's expostulation, Pat replied; 'Then sister, why was ye not content with your Kubu tail, without longing for more, like mother Eve? Is it consistent to reprove me for my ambition when ye were not content to eke out with faith your own Kubu endowment?'
"Gently entwining Pat's wrist, with prehensile caudiality, she urged: 'Can ye not see that in my longings there was a difference with a distinction from multiplication? My Kuhu endowment was but a faith index for perfect regeneration, sufficient for contenment; but yours, from habit education in Christian doctrine, disposes you to seek present gratification from the multiplication of artificial wants in the extension of tail influence; as your preachers and politicians urge, in the style of their great exemplar; who said, "Place your faith in me and ye shall become as gods, with a knowledge of good and evil derived from experience!" Still, with experience that shows you the fallacy of precept preaching and teaching, as in the first instance, you seek to repair old transgressions by new evasions proposed by your leaders, who assume the collective functions for their congregations' tail dispensations. Have ye bethought yourself, Pat dear, that with all your superior qualification as a Rudder leader of high aspirations for congregational representation, you are in fact ashamed to show in Christian society that you possess the present evidence of renewed grace? Also in fact, from your neglect of its regenerating influence hope has lost its savior and faith its reinvigorating power of redemption from the bondage of sin and the devil? With your wallowings in filthy indulgence, have ye no fear of committing the unpardonable sin that in the end will cause your tail to rise up in judgment against you? Already with your backslidings and artificial tail absolutions it is bowed down with shame by the rule of fashion, so that your women have no discretion to determine the limits of enough that will suffice for their comfort and healthy concealment from immodest exposure. Now, dear Pat, brother, why will ye not cultivate, with a meek and lowly spirit of regeneration, for the revival of your Kubu endowment, the love of the patriarchess, so that out of her abounding grace she may pledge you its fealty, as I have mine for heavenly record with M. Shawtinbach in the inspired language of Ruth, "Thy God shall be my God, and my tail thy tail; yea, verily, even unto the end thereof." Then as one of the elect you can truly exclaim, "I know that my redeemer liveth.' "
"With this peroration to her exhortation, Bridget, with a benignant expression of contentful love, had recourse to her pianos; and caused them in quintette union to harmonize in genial outflow the record of her languaged effort with the inspired poetical legend:
"After her extraordinary exhortation and word accompaniment in song, Bridget relapsed into her taciturn mood of contentful contemplation, which led her with the genial sympathy of loving predilection to pay you a visit of courtship. This visit proved to you a source of wondering admiration, in view of the abounding grace she exhibited in tail manifestations of capacity for clothing the inspired sources of sacred attraction for the yearning desire of imagination in freedom from the repulsive realization of truthful disclosure. Although tantalizing from the tree stage selected for her model exhibition of dramatic effects, she entertained you in an ecstatic mood of enthusiastic expectation of angelic confirmation until you were awakened from your trance of transfiguration to be reassoilized with food for the revival of mortality. I will now leave you to your meditations with the conviction that you will realize the necessity of condensing thought for word expression, so that memory will not be overtaxed with repetition."
" 'Oh, how happy are they
Whom the Saviour obey!
Tongue can never express
The sweet comfort in dress;
In faith, freedom from shame,
That Eve lost with her fame;
For tail angelic grace,
That gave birth to our race. --- '
In tree flight, or branch repose, with her acquired caudal expression in view, she imparted to my partial vision the animus forecast of angelic realization. But when her person presented (in Spenserian language) a "differential" display of her charms, with the azure rays of her eyes in concentrated gaze fixed on me, they seemed to breathe an afflatus ecstasy of inspired revelation, that in anticipation vitalized my soil with the beatific joys of a united destiny in the heavenly realms of the "just made perfect." Notwithstanding her unique style of expression, there was in her features a blending of thoughtful expectation which in tremulous delight made thought transparent:
Yet, with all these perceptible traits of a new birthright, born for the silent expression of an inostentatious source of contentment, I am aware that in the busy marts of the world, where the invention of wants for want supply holds ruling sway, these constituents in the simple economy of tail sufficiency for the modest development of thought, will be scouted as a sign of retrogression. But our retrospective reflections for contentful imitation, antedate the sinful cause of curse multiplication of habits and custom derived from sectarian selfishness. Could the votaries who now clown in faith- worship at the shrine of tithe-redeeming lucre, enjoy my privileges, they would soon discover the marvelous efficacy of tail interposition, with works for the revival of contentment, and
In freedom from the tongue's incessant clatter,
Of ruling power in mind and matter;
Which reason's source, and god-like sense defies.
Before I arrived at Leslie Holm, and saw the wonderful adaptation of means to ends for Bridget's regeneration, I had but a slight conception of woman's rights inaugurated by transgression. But now, the light afforded by the "new departure," inaugurated at Saar Soong with the missionary revival in material extension of the source of contentment, I call realize the controlling habit impression, that ekes out with artificial means, dress ordinance for the exemplification of knowledge that refuses to profit by experience.
The cause of Eve's first departure from bliss,
In Adam's subjection from Serpent's kiss,
And backsliding of worship's beguilement,
The world's source of progenic defilement.
It is but natural to suppose, from the evidence of recorded example,
that woes beget woes from the effect of progenic impression increased by
the motor force of progressive multiplication. Hence the realization of
the prophetic curse that gave birth to faith and hope for the fulfillment
of ordinance worship in substitution for affection from the profit increase
With our knowledge of the indigestive effect of toddy, we can readily conceive that her indulgence provoked the stomach's arsenal for the generation of detonating gases which startle and impress upon the embryo instincts of the child unborn, a passion for polemical preaching discussions, and the noisy displays of pat-riot-ism. With the tail as the prehensile hold for the balance of the "souls" (stomach's) digestive equality, for the healthy dispensation of food, we can plainly understand that regurgitation would be the effect of over-indulgence, without the nauseating throes that now attend the germ-manic process of vomiting. The effect of the temptation's multiplication is so prominently visible in the process of gestation --- that imparts to the child the morbid impressions of the mother --- that the most casual observation will serve to fully convince the most sceptical of the characteristic nature and source of the prime-Eve-al curse.
"We will now review the progressively developed and retained habits and customs of the germ-manic species in the process of transmission.
"Having, with legitimate deduction and direct proof, shown the fundamental source of pat-riot-ism, we will note some of the leading impressions of religious communism sanctified with the ordinance rites of worship instituted by the old Serpent for tail regeneration. The Israelites, laboring under the impression that the felo-de-se sacrifice caused by the longing desire of mother Eve, was attributed to the power of the Serpent to destroy, they, in act, expressed a worshipful faith in his recreative ability when they exalted the brazen serpent and golden calf for the adoration of the congregational tails of priestcraft.
"The legends transmitted from the devotional idolatry of the Israelites have been perpetuated by memorial statues raised to generals and like destructive human agencies, in fulfillment of prototype example. That of the golden calf, in kind, has been transmitted in word expression for the genealogical emblazonry of escutcheons and coins, which should rend, 'In this God we trust' The evidences of a universal belief in the necessity of tail regeneration show in the excessive preponderance of fashionable female devotees; a manifest acknowledgment of the wo-rang Eve's culpable accountability for its primogenital loss, and the solace of happy contentment which it afforded as it source of contemplation for the higher functions of angelic flight.
"If we are accounted wonderfully and fearfully made without it, how surpassingly greater must be our surprise and admiration when we consider the complete simplicity of its adjustment for the perfect attainment of modest contentment. An approximate idea of its economic value can be realized by the husband and father when they compare the multiplied resources which have been conjured into existence by art invention to supply its place. While it, with its hirsute adjunct, realized a sufficiency for modest contentment. the insatiate desire of woman still craved for more; and notwithstanding experience had afforded constant proof of the insufficiency of artificial succedaneums for the realization of enough for comely protection and adornment; the fibres of the dress fig-leaves of the original wo-rang have been multiplied with the curse of arithmetical progression, until the millions of 'power' looms scarcely suffice for the burdensome requirements of mankind. Still the skins of beasts, in sympathetic verification of their own self-producing staple of clothing, hold the preference, in their natural state, as derived from the seal, sable and beaver; but with the loss of the mutual expression of equality that defined the limits of enough, in adaptation to the requirements of their original state. From this suggestive review of dress from the primitive conception of the wo-rang, as she emerged into the perceptive shame of wo-manhood; we will now glance at the original cause of the transition which gave cause for the first court scene and legal arraignment of culprits. As a guarantee of its being the unit commencement of legal multiplication, we find it recorded that the Lord God of Israel acted in the capacity of judge, bailiff, and prosecuting attorney, for the first citation arrest of thieves. Of the justice of the sentence passed upon them, from their own admissions, which in pleading extenuation led to triad recrimination, would be classed as the petty larceny of an apple, to which your children of the present progressive age, would, with the advice of counsel, enter a demurrer, with the plea that the severity of the punishment was altogether incompatible with the nature of the crime.
"But if they will only use their head endowment of discretion, they cannot fail to discover the wisdom of intention in the curtail. For if tail, feet, and hands, had been allowed to retain their original powers of prehension, after the first transgression, the head assumption of direction, from the wo-rang Eve's exhibition of her thieving propensity, in the Arab style of reciprocation, multiplied by civilized progression, would have reached the millennium ultimatum of sectarianism, from the full conversion of the human population into a legal fraternity. Notwithstanding, the Scotch dialect would imply that there is no direct and certain root to orthography, we will urge upon your perception the sectarian perversion of intelligent words for the expression of material relation, into meaningless subterfuges for the advancement of faith in tail direction by priestcraft. You will find that the thirtieth verse of the sixth chapter of Proverbs declares, with the decisive authority of the period, 'Men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry' This rendering of 'soul' shows that it was the accepted cognomen of the stomach, which is the germative garden of the human system for soil assimilation and organic support. With this exact interpretation you will be able to understand the Biblical passage which asks, 'What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own stomach?' (soul).
"In modern derivative use we have the hackneyed banqueting expression, 'Feast of reason and flow of soul.' (bile). Virtue and, morality are in like manner theo-ret-ical root expressions, which in faith revival undoubtedly referred to the attributes of contentment, rating the value of enough, before the loss of caudality subjected the wo-rang descendants to circumcision and artificial ordinance rites for the shadowy revival of the original impression of reality.
"In more obvious travesty, we have the conversion of litter-ary multiplication, pronounced as a curse for disobedience, reduced by the syncope of an 'l, so that it is made to express the fecundity of an author's pen, without distinction of merit in the characteristic value of production. Thus, in fact, resolving it, in train, to the sequent result of the curse, consequent on the Eve-viction, that has produced in litter-ary deterioration the race degradations of the human species. From the use of deductive proof we can fix the date of Eye's transgression to the period of her gestation with Cain; for we have the recorded evidence, that the mothers of Alexander, C‘sar, Chum Foo, Bonaparte, and others of the heroic school of wholesale murderers, suffered from the cravings and gratification of monstrous appetites just anterior to the birth of those and kindred valorous prodigies. Doctor Slim of your S.F. Academy of Sciences, ably proved in his paper; 'On Matters and Things in General,' that puning often developed the derivative root of words, habits, and customs, as well as idio-syn-crasies peculiar to the mother during the process of procreation. Would it not be legitimate for your society, acting upon his hint to investigate theo-ret-ically the ingesta cause of the mother's flatulency, that gave birth to impressions that produced the idio-syn-crasies of a Nero, Calvin, Catherine Medicis, Henry VIII, and Philip II, for the future reformation of the matrix-generators of the multiplied Cain species? By adopting that process of ante- birth investigation, much conjectural knowledge could be gained of the word and fact transitions that produced tales from tails, for the correction of litter-ary flatulency from its tendency to the curse of litter-ary multiplication. As a suggestive nucleus; is it a wonder that with the spirituous inventive aggravations, from the sun's arrack distillation of Eve's toddy, that the multiplication of cause for flatulency should have begot gunpowder, nitro-glycerine and like dispositions? --- or that England's queen should have offered a premium for triplets to increase the source of poverty for the supply of war material?
"The medical and scientific representatives of civilized progression have neglected, unaccountably, the investigation of mother Eve's idio-syn-crasy, notwithstanding the evident cause which has multiplied the curse in reproduction. Even speech, from its preaching inauguration by the old Serpent, 'the father of lies,' has become so degenerated, that in use with your citizens, it sounds more like the defecation of word eructations than the medium means for intelligent and refined communication. Indeed, as the source of our common disaster, the stomach soul's healthful economy has been too long overlooked. 'When we reflect upon the present condition of our race, we cannot fail to appreciate the redeeming sacrifice of the patriarch of the Gibbons, made in behalf of Bridget's posterity, which we hope will be sanctified in the end with a Me-sire for the salvation of their race from backsliding and the sins of over-indulgence. If, as we anticipate, her love for M. Shawtinbach should meet with reciprocation, in full fruition, we may hope that the patriarchal sacrifice will influence her to limit her desires within the bounds of her husband's capacity for gratification.
"If this should be fulfilled, we shall expect that he will become the father of a race of exemplars, capable of demonstrating for theological and scientific comprehension, the necessity of commencing with the mother the soul (stomach) education of the child before birth; that after, the end where the tail left off may be held sacred from the spanking inflictions of Eye for the upright walk of Cain. Then soul, for soil transubstantiation, will no longer be perverted to express the body's resurrection, or rehabilitation, and an impossible tailless flight to the heavenly realms of a golden New Jerusalem; or nether place 'below,' used for brimstone renovation, in accordance with the Jewish creed for the revival of old clo' from the sins of the flesh, in regenerated preparation for the shoddy wear of like purified bodies to become angels of light during the eternity of a 'season.'
But, under the auspices of a mother's soul purified for a new birth of affection in exampled impression upon the embryo in probation to become a child of light, they will be born to the unselfish knowledge that they are but a free-will fraction of a created whole, with the power of happiness limited in expression solely by the desire to confer upon associate units the compounded influence of their own resources of enjoyment. If this happy state of a mother's special vocation could be realized in the union of Bridget with M. Shawtinbach, the "new birth" impression would re-establish, with the practical economy of tail faith, the original standard of enough devised for happy contentment in freedom from the covetous desire of Eve, which envied the bodiless union of the old Serpent's head and tail.
"If the neutre relation had continued between the orang and wo-rang we can readily realize that the Bible's record of prophetic folly would never have been written; judging from the presumed fact that contentment would afford a grateful present void of regrets and longings for an improved future. That the condition was compatible with creative intention, the transgression of stipulated requirements attests; the whys and wherefores of the free agency for the commission of evil under interdiction we have no right to question.
"It is enough to know that the curse of multiplication has been prophetically recorded by the Chinese, Hindoos, and Hebrews from self-conviction for exampled re-enaction, with the certainty of a resulting transmission from the fact that like begets like with rare variations and but few apparent exceptions.
"The Israelitish posterity of Cain evidently considered that their original (orang) tail endowment was held in pawn by their Lord God Almighty. Hence, their monthly sacrifices and ordinance rites of interest, and the fearful warning injunctions of their priests, that his chosen people should be ever mindful of the irrevocable penalty of forfeiture, that would be decreed if they sinned away the day of redeeming grace. The language of circumcision and the exclusion of their women, as daughters of Eve, from the penitential sacrifices offered at the throne of redeeming grace shows that they were held responsible for the original sin of curtail, and had justly forfeited the rights of salvation for their collateral security. The profanity and overindulgence of men in ardent spirit and kindred sources of intoxication, plainly indicates the toddy source of temptation, while in negative evidence the natural aversion of women to everything of the kind affords proof positive that they retain the transmitted impression of culpability that caused Eve-viction and the curse of multiplication for the perpetuation of misery. Although not allowed to participate in the weekly and monthly oblations of the males, they could not be restrained from the ordinance rites of devotional worship, manifested in dress memorials of attachment to the bereaved part and to the head, in symbolical reference and appeal to the old Serpent's union of head and tail without the intervention of a body between for temptation's provocation. When we take into consideration and carefully investigate all these contributing attributes immediately displayed by the customary habits of the sons and daughters of Israel, and trace the resulting effect to the present day, nothing can be more evident than the necessity of a tail for their rehabilitation and restoration to the promised land of their fathers, where there is gold and precious stones, fully regenerated in their original likeness.
"As a prelude to the controversial effect of toddy temptation to sin, the old Serpent, as the father of lies, introduces his style of argument to Eve for hereditary impression upon Cain und Abel, as the source of sectarian, legal an warlike discussions of ordinance and diplomatic rites (rights.) Notwithstanding the degeneration of the serpentic sibilation into the dogmatic style of barking enunciation, from the effects of word multiplication; the speaking impression derived from the instinctive union of head and tail is still predominant in verification of source. In demonstrative proof we have the obscene and the blasphemous praying appeals made to the God of Israel for vengeance, which reflect in vent their characteristic stigmatic intention upon the Supreme Creator, thereby affording conclusive evidence in revelation of the multiplied existence of over-indulgence that in surplant with Eve begot Cain and Abel, and the Serpent's impression for the vituperative use of language for individual and sectarian swearing anathematization. From these combined effects ---
For an illustration of the process required for the enactment fulfillment of prophecy we will refer you to the reformatory styles of swearing adopted by the popular American writers, Bret Harte and Joaquin Miller. The influence of their litter-ary labors will in practical effect prove prophetic to future generations for the propagation and multiplication of examples in kindred current with their creations, which in epitaph style might be truthfully expressed ---
Then we have, for degeneration's test,
The cancer of the womb and mother's breast;
These show in train the source and woful sum
From whence the curse of Eve's transgression come.
"Through all the literary departments of language since its first sermonic introduction, these serpentic specialties have prevailed as a lure for expression; in poetry as well as prose; but in each lacking the true inspiration of the head for an exampled affection capable of imparting a foretaste of immortality. Still, there have been individual and family oases in the desert track, which reflect their memorial light as a glad beacon to herald, with the will, the power of shedding beneficent rays, capable of impressing its sympathy for good upon the most abject and fanatical communist followers, in the sectarian track of Cain and Abel. A characteristic illustration I will relate, that you may treasure it as an abiding source for congenial sympathy:
"They were born, cried, ate, guzzled and lied;
Then with lust's transition, wrangled, fought and died.
"During the Caliphate of Al Mamum, styled the temperate and beneficent, Egypt and the coasts of the Mediterranean sea were periodically visited by the plague, clothed in the grim habiliments of death in its most dreaded form. Fortunately, from the time of the Caliph Omar, the Hebrews had not only been tolerated, but encouraged in their then humanitarian fondness for the practice of the healing art.
"As a meed of gratitude for the preservation of his own life through the ascribed instrumentality of the rabbi Abou Ben Isaacs, 'under the auspicious favor of Allah,' Omar, in defiance of the fanatical prejudices of his own race, who with christian avidity esteemed it a duty to hate and revile the Jews, sanctioned the union of his preserver's son with his own niece. This marriage gave birth to a race alike celebrated for beauty of person and self-sacrificing benevolence, who proved a wall of defense for the preservation of their own people against the persecutions and insults provoked by the selfish greediness of their sordid love for gold.
"Ahmed Ben Isaacs, of the fourth generation in descent from the Habbi Abou, established a school at Cairo, with tributary branches in all the chief cities of the Caliphate, for the education of those predisposed from benevolent desire for the study of vocations appertaining to the curative art of medication and preventive preservation from disease. These schools were under the especial patronage and protection of Al Mamum, who enforced the precautionary measures advised for holding the plague in check, as well as those urged for general sanitary protection against the predisposition of the Arabs and Moors to harbor uncleanly habits. In spite of fanatical opposition by zealots during the intermissions of the plague scourge, Abdilatif, a prominent writer of the period, acknowledged that by his systematic course adoptes for enforcing remedial means of prevention, other diseases had been reduced to comparatively innocuous state. His reputation, and that of his family, had extended to remote countries, investing the curative intelligence of the Jews with a talismanic mantle that for the time afforded a more secure source of protection than their golden shield. But the controlling influence of priestly bigotry, less enlightened, persecuted the disciples of Ahmed with their accustomed virulence, as soon as the fatal symptoms of the pestilence began to abate, obliging them to seek an asylum with the more lenient Moslem. In perfecting the system inaugurated by his ancestors, Ahmed selected his disciples without regard to nationality; invariably selecting children who had exhibited traits of a pitying disposition, and had trained their tearful prattling sympathies to become a solace and aid to suffering. When fully matured by study for the charge of patients, they were enjoined to hold themselves gratuitously at the disposal of the good, with the enlistment of all their energies for the preservation of life, as in sympathy bound, without regard to station or influence. This injunction with its implied characteristic negative soon became known, and as its justice cannot be gainsaid upon other grounds than fallacy of judgment in the nurse or physician, it caused in anticipation of the plague's approach a marked effect in subduing the passionate asperities of the unruly, to at least all outward semblance of confiding harmony. To him, the Arabians and Egyptians were indebted for an exact knowledge of the location and distinguishing nomenclature of the most prominent organs pertaining to the human economy. He also instructed his pupils practically in comparative anatomy, selecting the hog as a favorite subject, from his satirical likeness in physical conformation and omnivorous habits, as a possible archetype to the human species.
"By this course, which involved a demonstration of points of resemblance in congenic alliance of structure and habit with the animal most abhorred by Jew and Arab as an abomination exceeding the limits of toleration, he confirmed a prejudice for the correction of excesses in eating and drinking that derived zest, in enmity, from the Christian custom of solemnizing events of every description with banqueting feasts for gourmandizing. From the discovery of human skeletons concealed in the walls of his house at Cairo, some centuries after his family had lost the medical prestige he had established, it was shrewdly suspected by his own people that the anatomical points of resemblance between ,mankind and swine had been practically demonstrates to his pupils, causing a cannibalistic dread of using the other species as an article of food, which added to the repugnance already engendered from their scavenger habits of gleaning sustenance from the vilest garbage The revelation of these ghastly trophies by an earthquake was looked upon as am express indication of the prophet's displeasure, thereby increasing the zealous hatred of his followers against the Hebrew race tenfold.
"At the approach of the summer solstice in 822 H., while the father, Ahmed was attending to the duties of his school in Cairo, his eldest son wrote from the headwaters of the Nubian Nile that the climacteric evidences of the season indicated an invasion of the plague arrayed in its most virulent form. On the reception of the news, messengers were dispatched to recall his absent children from the cities of the Mediterranean.
Before their arrival he mustered his pupils and disciples, and after a thorough demonstration of the precautionary measures he wished to employ, he despatched them to locations most likely to the first subjected to an attack of the dreaded scourge. As he bad been formally invested with the sanitary regulations of the Caliph's dominions: his badge was sufficient to insure strict obedience to his directions, promulgated through the agency of his accredited disciples. Besides, his edicts were clothed in the sympathetic garb of benevolence, free from arrogant assumptions of power even for the collection of contributions of material aid which were generously supplied in overplus with the cheer of good will.
Although the family of Ahmed were still Hebrews in the outward observance of ceremonial rites, cumulative greed was denounced whenever or wherever its appearance was made manifest. From a long test of his strict integrity, Arab, Jew, Egyptian and Moor placed unlimited confidence in the representatives delegated for the supervision of districts, offering, with grateful submission, not only personal service, but the full command of their earthly possessions, a trust that was never in a single instance betrayed for selfish peculation.
"The daughters of Ahmed joined him as he was in the act of embarking to superintend the preparations for locating desert encampments distant from the river settlements and minor cities of the Nile, then populous. His youngest daughter Zera, then in her fifteenth year, had but a short time before entered upon her novitiate duties as a nurse under the guardianship of her brother in Alexandria, but was endowed with incomparable zeal and love for succouring needy worth and ministering to the sick and distressed.
"Kindly sympathy for the good in misfortune was then only known and felt within the family circles and kinship of the daughters of Israel, which had been developed in them by adversity until it became a source of protection despite the usury of their paternal kindred, and in subsequent ages it embalmed grateful memories ennobled with the nurture of an affection that overstepped the selfish restrictions of race. The daughters of Ahmed were possessed of rare personal beauty, blending the peculiar type of the Hebrew from paternal ancestry, with the maternal Arabian, no less distinguished for symmetry of contour in the perfection of facial outline and tint than in bodily charms adapted for graceful development in movement. Indeed, the maternal line of Omar were justly celebrated for all the constituents of personal refinement, but were lacking in the expression of courageous endurance and depth of outflowing affection, whose tendrils had wreathed the expression of the daughters of Zion with the halo of an enduring sympathy.
"Of Ahmed's daughters, Zera, the youngest, was the lustrous embodiment of the reflected union of the races in beauty, and around her clustered the rays of family affection, without a thought questioning her claims to their united devotion. On their arrival, while mingling their tears in the joyful embrace of loving affection, and consulting their father with regard to the object of their recall, a swiftly propelled nilenea (messenger boat of 'the period) approached the landing, and a habited courier, ready poised on the prow, prepared for a leap to the shore, attracted their attention.
"On the alert of expectation, the eyes of the aged Ahmed had recognized his eldest son in the person of the courier, while bestowing upon his daughters glad tears of welcome --- understanding the full import of a visit that had brought his son from Nubia; for the pestilence, like the cloud speck rising above the desert horizon, admonished, with its herald appearance, the swift approach of the sirocco blight in its wake. Received in their open arms with salutations of inquiry he speedily made known to them the urgency of his despatch for their assistance.
"Forgetful of themselves, with all haste they embarked with a relay of rowers, without the loss of a moment, even for the natural assurance of personal welfare, and were soon engaged in questioning the most effectual means of precaution and advantages of locations for individual disposal for staying the progress and abating the virulence of the scourge.
"With the aid of a favoring wind adverse to the approaching onslaught of the. terrible disease, they were enabled to reach their destination before its destructive energies were fully engaged.
"Having hastened the river throngs of dismayed beings to the desert encampments, while urging such precautionary measures as the suggestions of the moment prompted, he, with his youngest daughter, pushed on to meet the foe in advance at Chenoboscion.
"Visiting with Zera the catacombs of Lycopolis, they were soon actively engaged in the duties of their vocations. It was while engaged in preparing the dromos, porticos, and tombs for the reception of the victims, that the aged Ahmed was subjected to a sore trial, which threatened the loss of his treasured daughter Zera.
"To show the Influence exerted for real good by the affectionate benevolence of this single family over the fanatical prejudice opposed to their race, I will quote the languaged expression of the sheik, who had been installed the presiding ruler of the district duriug the ravages of the pestilence, describing the dismay that had attended the announcement that Zera had been stricken with the plague:
The Skeik Athrul writes: 'How strangely moved was I with dread, mingled with the strong emotions of a father's love aroused by grief, when summoned by the imploring message of my recovering favorites, urging me to visit them with their mother, where they were lying in the dromo of the Chenobian tomb? Entering, my cowardly heart forgot its fear, when Mirza and Abdallah, in the fullness of their joy, all unmindful in their love that their yet infectious breaths might impart the deadly poison, fell on our neck, wept, sobbed, and kissed, until the tearful founts of love were checked by a hushed silence, as a wailing cry and prayer arose from a voice trembling in its deep intonations as if choked with the burden sighs of its supplication. As we quickly turned in sudden release from the embrace of our children, who, in panic amazement, gazed, with their eyes fixed, upon a prostrate form, in startled anguish, over which, with his head bowed upon his hands in sorrow, the venerable Ahmed invoked the aid of Allah, the God of the faithful, whether Moslem, Hebrew, or Christian, whom our hearts recognized as Zera, his best beloved, the savior of our children, who now joined their plaintful sobs to the prayers echoed on every side. When she was raised by a nurse, and we saw the blanched cheeks of the houri face, so beautiful, smitten with the plague spot from the iron hand of the vengeful Zobaah, we knelt, moved by a spirit powerful beyond our control, and forgetting the injunctions of our faith, bowed our hearts imploringly in her behalf in peaceful union with the kindly disposed of all mankind, offering a whispered invocation in unison with her father's:
" 'At the close of the father's invocation a sigh of response gave voice to our hopes. Even those with the dawn of recovery just breaking could not withhold their whispered offers of service, striving to second in act their proffered help. As the news of Ahmed's threatened bereavement spread, the Nile and its shores became thronged with the sad faces of waiting thousands, who wept afar off, that no dangerous taint, or wail of sorrow should mar the reviving prospect of the loved one's recovery.
"Creator, this treasure, thou didst bestow,
With thy cherished love, nurtured here below;
And while with mortals numbered, this we pray,
Lend us our daughter's love for earthly stay!
" 'The brothers and sisters of Zera ministering at places near, warned by ready messengers, of her danger, arrived during the night. As they landed, the assembled multitude opened a passage; prostrating themselves on either side, they bowed their heads in silent sympathy.
"Like pilgrims clustered around Mecca's sacred shrine,
They prayed for succor's omen raised by hand divine.
" 'As the highest peaks of the Moncatten reddened with the glory of the morning sun, the glad tidings reached the still-crowded shore, that the dangerous crisis had passed; the chalky pallor having given place to the warmth of reviving moisture. In whispers the inspiring news spread from mouth to mouth, until from the rustling sounds of grain-heads full ripened for the harvest, fanned by the morning zephyr, it grew in strength to the voiced accompaniment of twittering swallows at even-tide, and when it was announced that Zera was restored, it swelled into the anthemed song of thanksgiving and praise.
" 'Allah, the spirit gave," 'With the full recovery of Zera the force of the plague had passed away, as mysterious in cause of departure as in advent, but only to extend its ravages in new places; first along the southern shore of the Mediterranean, then crossing at Gibraltar, ravaged the northern coast cities from Oporto to Smyrna. The reputation of Ahmed's skilful treatment of the plague had already been established, but on this occasion his success had been so unparalelled that its fatality had been reduced below the source excitement of panic fear, and by precautionary aid in advance of irruption, he had insured a strict adherence to his directions.
And he alone can save;
We bless His holy name,
We bless His holy name!
" 'He especially impressed upon his children and disciples the indispensable necessity of using the most efficient means for inspiring the emotions of courage, reminding them that the true source of its power resided in dispassionate affection, which readily enlisted itself for the welfare of others. In addition, he urged them to admonish the people to banish selfish prejudices peculiar to ordinance worship, while amenable to the influence of their watchful care, that their kindness might render them subject to the impressions of good-will when restored to health. Impressing his advice with example, he was ever ready to cope with the disease in its most virulent form, that he might make manifest with personal proof the value of true affection as a ward against an infectious contagion which had caused the dispersion of armies with panic fear. By these precautionary measures, he made genial sympathy and confiding trust the tonic resource of his art for fortifying the human system against the insidious formidable foe that sought to resolve its bodily components to their original source. As you will anticipate, it required extraordinary discretion for the control and direction of the masses, but the source of the influence exerted by the venerable Ahmed and his disciples you can now readily appreciate.'
"The tribute paid by Mafits Abdullah, a contemporary writer, to the worth and devotion of this remarkable family shows the exemplar influence of goodness in subduing the wild rage of fanatical instinct.
" 'Praised be Allah, they --- the family Ahmed --- have, with his beneficent aid, taken such precautions, with the willing compliance of true believers, that the genii had lost their power for evil through their most destructive agent the pestilence. Throughout the realms subject to the radiant lights of Allah, under the rule of his prophet Mahomet --- to whom we commend ourselves with thanksgiving for his timely intercession in our behalf --- the scourge has passed like the desert sand-storm, leaving us chastened and purified from drones and evil-doers. In manifest proof of his especial favor we are now scathless, while the cities of the reprobate unbelievers are subject to the woful vengeance of the remorseful destroyer Zobaah, whose power has been subdued by the sword and shield of our protector, under the rule of Allah, so that his hands are as harmless as if smitten with the word of iron (3) from the mouth of a despised zahooda (a term of opprobrium applied to the Jews, whose family have been made instrumental for our preservation.
" 'That Allah is omnipotent and the father of the unbeliever (whom he justly scourges) as well as the faithful, he has made manifest by these means which he has raised up by his inscrutable providence for our salvation. Even our women, who exceed their masters in the bitterness of zeal, without the thoughtful restraint of judgment --- with the impetuous gratitude of mothers have opened the exhausted flood-gates of their eyes to water with grateful tears the seeds of forgiveness inspired from their devotion, so that it fruitful growth of love may be encouraged in our more obdurate hearts.'
" 'We will now note the contrast shown in the bestowal of Christian gratitude for service rendered in their behalf by the family of Ahmed Ben Isaacs. The father, with his daughter Zera, kept in advance of the pestilence, to prepare the way for active treatment under the influence of its modification from the sanitary impression of his regulations, After the disease had disappeared from the Caliph's African dominions, while recruiting his own and the health of his family at Sale, in preparation for a coasting voyage in a felucca back to Alexandria, on the eve of departure a cry for help came from Algesiras, across the straits, where the pestilence had opened its attack with fearful ravages.
" 'From the procrastinating Iberian disposition, which had been forewarned of the necessity of taking the advised steps of precaution that had rendered its African transit comparatively innocuous, the full terrors of the scourge were developed in the onset. This infatuated delay of lazy confidence, in the hope that the air current of the straits would bar the passage of the infection, was strengthened when the course of the plague from Tangier was directed down the Atlantic coast.
In proof that folly courts destruction, the interdict of communication between the African and Spanish ports was removed; but with the first vessel's return from Omar to Alicant, it brought with its cargo, which yielded an enormous profit, death's consignment of the plague to the family of its owner. Within an hour of the time of the messenger's arrival the 'gallaso' was on its passage back, bearing the father, two sons and three daughters, and as many experienced aids as could be mustered for the merciful service; Zera and his eldest son embarking at the same time on hoard of the felucca for Alexandria.
"On landing at Al Dschirza, he found the people paralyzed with fear, having neglected every precaution advised to avert the plague's severity. This, reckless negligence increased the labors of Ahmed's family ten-fold; and he was unable to gain an advanced check upon the disease until it had reached Valencia.
"But from that city its virulence began to abate, The moment he entered the Christian dominions, although his help had been invoked with the most abject terms of entreaty, his family and aids were subjected to every description of annoyance that fanatical bigotry could invent; all their movements, both public and private, were placed under espionage.
"Notwithstanding the open declaration made of his precautionary measures and remedial treatment at Venice, where he had been unusually successful, he was seized and imprisoned by Papal decree --- after the disease had been subdued --- just as he and his family were about embarking for Egypt. Accused of deriving his curative power from an unholy alliance with the devil, be was subjected to torture to force from him a confession of the secret of his success. His constant asseverations that his dependence was upon a strict adherence to cleanly habits and temperance in eating and drinking did not save him from an increase of torments, until at last his sufferings aroused the old leaven of Hebrew courage which emboldened him to exclaim in defiant sarcasm: 'You can torment me to death, but the remedy, human sympathy will then be, as it is now, beyond your reach!' It required the intercession of the Caliph, accompanied by a large ransom, to obtain his liberation from the detaining expressions of Christian gratitude. It was not until his arrival in Egypt that Papal greed was surprised and mortified to learn that the price of redemption demanded and received from the grateful Moslems was scarcely a thousandth part of the volunteered contributions, which had been returned to the givers. The crushed and mangled form of the patriarch was received by his children with just vitality enough to recognize them with a last fond embrace before the animus of goodness winged its departure from paternal embodiment.
"The following year was memorable for the reappearance of the plague in the Christian cities of the northern coast of the Mediterranean, with a severity so deadly that it was considered by the Moslems as a direct indication of retributive justice for the inhuman treatment bestowed in requital for the services rendered by the family of Ahmed Ben Isaacs. Their interpretation --- although clear to our understanding from natural causes --- was certainly a vindication of creative intention, that declared itself in support of purification as an addenda precaution quite as indispensable after the plague, as before, that the germinating cause might be destroyed.
"Father Ariego, in whom we cannot fail to discover discriminate indications of worth, bears testimony to the wonderful success of Ahmed Ben Isaacs' system of treatment in his 'Pall for the Plague,' a passage from which I will quote:
" 'Much to the surprise of our physicians, the plague has again commenced its ravages in our cities with increased fatality, after scarcely four months' cessation. Its recurrence in two successive years is without a precedent; for even in Egypt, its source of invasion, the lapse of three or four years is counted necessary for the revival of its destructive power. Our physicians can scarcely be thought less than food-givers for its progress; as they add by their example of fearful hesitation to the panic upon which it feeds; indeed, the disease pays as little respect to their persons as to their remedies.
" 'The Caliph has been implored in vain for the succoring aid of his physicians, whose success of last year reduced the fatality of the disease, so that it but little exceeded that of our tertian fevers. They testify their willingness to render our people the much needed assistance if the Pontiff will send them his written assurance of protection and safe return to their homes when the object of their mission has been accomplished. But they stipulate that the rulers shall extend to them the same authority with the means of prevention, accorded by the Caliph. These passports of security and success were quickly dispatched by the Pontiff. But upon their application to the Caliph for permission, he directly interdicted the fulfillment of their desire, declaring it as his belief that the infliction was a direct manifestation of Allah's displeasure as in punishment for our cruel ingratitude in causing the death by torture of the father of the family, after his benefactions in behalf of our race. Failing, after pleading our culpability, without extenuation, one of the family disciples was liberated after he had been retained a prisoner for malpractice, or collusio ab infernum, and allowed to unite a body of volunteer assistants as an order of mercy for attendance upon the sick. But as they were unskilled in precautionary measures, their assistance proved of little value, except as a palliative resource. From the want of competent instruction, they were obliged to confine their attentions to the sick, which was but a small part of the Hebrew curriculum of study under their great master.'
"Nearly all the children of Ahmed Ben Isaacs married foreign to their native source of racial extraction. The only record made of Zera, after her father's death, was the tribute inscription copied from the urn receptacle of her ashes:
"The Hebrews, of all the races enshrouded with the barbarous pall of the 'dark ages,' alone retained a reverential respect and love for parental experience exercised in authority. But, even with them, this tie was alloyed with an exclusive selfishness that strictly interdicted marital relations with tribes and septs foreign to the traditional seal of their own ordinance rites and ceremonies as the chosen people of Israel's God. The grandeur of Solomon's achievements in the gratification of instinctive passion, and temple building, absorbed their veneration so completely that they ignored everything as unholy that had not received the sacred sanction of their song-king-'s commendation.
Loved spirit! that erst gave these ashes life.
With fair form endowed, and made thee a wife,
If here from thy realm thou still call impart
The love that once cheered the now severed heart,
Still hover around, with the balm of thy breath,
Purified of earth and exalted by death!'
The race of their conquerors, who had dispersed their tribes and destroyed the temple of their worship, had passed away, and with their language were numbered with the dead, and upon this omen they founded their hopes of a golden resurrection, with a temple title to be remembered with the heavenly nobility of their reconstructed New Jerusalem.
"This vague, hoped-for consummation of a phantom mythology, founded upon the mendacious gratifications of instinct, became the 'will-o'-wisp' infatuation of their worship, which has grown stronger, as with other tenets, the further they receded from reasonable comprehension. Their sole source of expectation for the realization of their dream was derived from the materialized influence of the 'precious metals.' To gain the golden viaticum they were ready to adopt all the attributes derived in denouncement from the curse of multiplication instigated by the old Serpent. With this self-prophesied goal in view, reason became dethroned by selfish egotism; so that they were blinded for the perception of their own physical and mental degeneration: for with the golden currency of his god in view, he begrudged the means of animal subsistence, which in reaction upon the body dwarfed it, in increasing contrast to the gold-bearing shoulders of a colossus, supported by the members of a pigmy race, This cultivated meanness kept the Jews in devotional hunger through fear of devouring the god of their adoration, so that they soon became the jackals, the human race, while they commanded the lion resources of king's. Abou Ben Isaacs was a notable exception the servile degeneration of his race, and was enabled to bequeath from the impress of his Arabian wife, children with mental and physical beauty that realized from corresponding affection, earthly impression of immortality,
"He in tracing the cause of ancestral disasters to the arbitrary substitution of gold as a currency for the displacement of natural affection, labored that his example might wean, not only his own people, but all mankind from the delusory greed for gold. In the estimation of his people this apostasy had been imparted from his marriage, and he was condemned as an outlaw from his religion, and his example was scouted as an infidel reflection upon their thrift. But they did not disdain to use his philanthropic influence for their protection, notwithstanding his open repudiation of their solicitations for him to become a part to their habits of usury. But when his descendants lost caste with the successor of the Abassidian dynasty, the Hebrews outvied the Moslems in the revilement of the "mongrel" cause of their apostasy.
"The most Authentic Relation that we have of the first discovery of the smelting art of separating gold from its ore and fashioning it into vessels, is derived from the recorded traditions of the Chinese. The version we are about to quote states that the Chin-tang's, or Changs, a Mongolian mountain tribe, at an early date discovered the method of reducing gold from its ore and beating it into untensil forms, and the history of its introduction by them was prophetic of its after influence as an equivalent for exchange. As it illustrates the powerful sway it has gained in verification of its first influence in use with the simple mountaineers, it will prove a fitting prototype example to show the natural reason of its adoption by the Israelites as a representative idol for the worship of their god. The Chin-tangs, in accordance with the natural impressions regulating the disposal of material benefactions in rudimentary inception assumed the kindly superiority of patrons in bestowing their inventive products.
"As their labors were in part prompted with the object of bestowal in view, they gave a zest to desire for improvement, so that they soon became skillful in the devisement of designs to please. At first the kind-hearted mountaineers, with unselfish zeal, congratulated themselves upon their ability to supply their lowland neighbors' wants with a more durable material than their brittle pottery, and were never happier than when engaged in these benevolent avocations.
"But soon, from thankful recipients the lowlanders became importune supplicants, and then in sequence merged into an arbitrary course of dictation. This, instead of abating the inventive moutaineers' desire to please, they attributed it to a thankful appreciation of their works, and redoubled their efforts to supply the increased demand. Gradually they became enlightened, when they found that the recipients of their favours no longer furnished them with the means of subsistence in exchange for their mechanical productions. Although they were at first inclined to attribute the neglect to a lack of means, they were obliged to establish a scale of equivalents, as they had no time for the cultivation of the land for their support. By this plan, they also avoided censure on the score of partiality in the disposal of their vessels and utensils. But, when the demand exceeded the supply of material, the grateful pleasure derived from their employment was turned into bitterness from the arrogant assumption of fiefry by a lowland patriarch who had received the first presents from the kindly disposed highlanders. The lowland chief, by construing the motive for the bestowal of these gifts, into an acknowledgement of tribute, assumed the claims of suzerainty, and the right of control over the resources and labors of his benefactors. This, the first recorded act of diplomatic pretext which has reached us, gave birth in kind to legal chicanery and argumentative woes which have followed in the train of multiplication to desolate the earth and render abortive the kindly inspirations of grateful confidence.
"The unreasonable and audacious demand, instead of exciting revengeful anger, caused grief in the hearts of the willing servitors. But being unable to comply with the exact stipulations within the given time, the impost was increased as a penalty of default. Finding that pliant subserviency encouraged imposition and insolence on the part of their whilom beggars, whose greed they had annointed with gifts of unselfish kindness; they replied to the lowland chiefs' threats of invasion with a determined spirit of resistance, but still with the hope of conciliating the would-be oppressor, labored to fulfill his demands. Still, it appears, that the baseness of extortionate oppression was as vindictively stupid in inception as in the more matured reflections of multiplication of the present day, for the Chin-tangs were surprised while laboring in the mines for the material means of effecting compromise for the restoration of "friendship" --- the first recorded instance of the use of this word in its marketable sense. Although taken at disadvantage, they made a determined resistance, causing their "foes" to beat a hasty retreat, but their unguarded families had been made prisoners and carried into captivity by these lowland pioneers in the warful art of enslaving benefactors. Astounded with grief when they found their homes desolated by the recipients of their first benefactions, but still pure in the integrity
of intention, notwithstanding their great and just cause for retributive reprisal, they sent a messenger to 'treat' for the restoration of their families, promising recompense in addition to the stipulated demand, if sufficient time was allowed for the reasonable accomplishment of their labor. But all their overtures were rejected; the germ of rapacity having taken root, its weedy luxuriance flourished in the debris of wanton ruin that yielded no hope for sustenance but reproduction in kind. As with the more matured arrogance of modern times, self- stimulated by ingratitude, concessions on the part of the injured only provoked an increase of barbarity, the invaders declaring that it was their intention to hold the captives in bondage until the 'ransom' had been paid to the last and least of the stipulated utensils.
"Inconsolable from the obdurate determination of their 'enemies,' who added insult with the threatened degradation of their families to the most servile labor; the Chin-tangs bethought themselves, in consultation, of every peaceable temptation that could be offered for the redemption of their 'loved' ones from captivity. But all their advances were met with insolent indignities, until in the extremity of their forlorn grief an inborn strength of determination was aroused for the reprisal of all that endeared them to life. In the process of maturing their plans, they called in aid their inventive powers which had been the cause of their woes, and improved upon the clubs of their foes by improvising the bow, arrow and javelin, by which an assault could be made out of harm's way as the only missile weapons of their enemies were fragments of stone. By a night surprise, although they numbered less than a fourth of their enemy's numerical strength, they recovered their families and vessels of gold from the ungrateful belligerents, and taught them a lesson of respect for inventive talent in peaceful attainment that could be made all-powerful in war. But they did not neglect to erect a fortified enclosure for the future protection of their families.
"The lowlanders, humbled by the righteous strength of the Chin-tangs, were thereafter obliged to gratify their acquisitive desire for golden utensils with an equivalent exchange of commodities. Gradually, as the sparseness of gold and silver became known, they began to assume a relative value, and in degree with their rarity were termed precious.
"In the Narrative Relation of Abou Ben Isaacs' family influence for good, our surprise and wonder is excited for the discovery of the potent cause that let him to break loose from the trammels of customs and habits and ordinance usages so long held sacred by his people. But with the analysis of thought, the evidence of the example impression transmitted bespeaks his recognition of unselfish affection as the sole source from which happiness can be realized here, or hope for its extension as an adjunct of revivication for vital or sentient renewal. The Chin tang appendix will afford all apt revelation of the initial impression of the golden decalogue imparted from the land of Pison, that led to the worship of the golden calf and its coin memorials of the present day, with significant escutcheon inscription, In (this) God we trust.
"Notwithstanding it may prove a sad and repulsive resource to contrast the fanatical passions of woman, when excited, with the leniency of a tigress suffering from hunger and thirst, it will serve to show themultiplied sectarian spirit of Cain derived from the indigestible stimulus imparted to the soul (stomach --- Prov. 6-30) of Eve from the arrack of transgression. Also the transmitted reason of woman's natural abhorrence of all kinds of intoxicating drinks, and her hopeless degradation when subject to their influence.
"Amaruthia, Queen of Antioch, and a partisan of Saint George of Cappadocia, possessed all unrelenting disposition, and passions which had been cultivated by debaucheries of the most infamous description. Yet, notwithstanding the apparent incompatibility of her habits with religious pretension, Catherine Medicis, Henry VIII, or Philip the second, were, in comparison with her, the personifications of toleration and mildness. On one occasion, when a father successfully contended, naked and unarmed, with lions in the amphitheatre for the protection of his children, and knelt, at the close of each encounter, covered with blood, in supplication for the lives of his children, regardless of self, while others turned with tears from witnessing the agony of his despairing love and self- devotion, she repulsed him with revilings; then ordered that his left arm should be bound to his body, and in that almost defenceless plight --- with his lacerated wounds gaping and bleeding in silent petition for the objects of his love --- that he should be subjected to a third encounter with a tigress from the jungles of India. This presentlative of the queen's untrammeled passions, goaded and starved to hungry fury, sprang into the arena, with tail curving and swaying, while her flesh quivered with the fierce current of impatient desire. Half crouching in the attitude best suited for the concentration of nervous power, her eyes measured with instinctive calculation the force required to reach and overcome her intended victim. Tortured to desperation with the absorbing emotions of the fearful fate awaiting his children, who were alone the objects of thought in the extremity of his love, his eyes concentrated their full force of determined will upon those of his foe.
"Once encountered, they were held spell-bound by the stronger retractive power of his affectionate energy, until gradually the incarnate fierceness of the tigress began to ebb; then, with the inward current of savage hunger, the outward of enervation's flaccid sway set in. Trembling in the leash of a controlling spirit, her eyes blinked with unavailing efforts to break the spell. Then, drawn by quick perception, the father --- with his children dazed with fear --- approached the tigress to make his conquest sure with the seal of touch.
"The vast concourse, gathered to witness a scene of bloodthirsty cruelty reduced with the tigress to the ruling sway of affection, looked upon the wonderful enactment in mazed silence, feeling within themselves the unaccountable agency that had disarmed her murderous teeth and claw. Within reach, the head of the fierce beast bowed in passive submission to the hand that caressed with pleading control for unwonted tender mercy denied by a woman and mother. Leading the disinfuriate tigress, supported on either side by the confiding arms of his reassured children, beneath the canopied arcress (throne) of Queen Amaruthia, he again bowed, pleading, not for himself or children, but with disdainful reflection, that his subdued charge might have other food for the assuagement of her famishing hunger than the bodies of his children, which she had spared from sympathy for his affection. Restored to herself by this ironical sarcasm, the face of Amaruthia became scarlet with rage. Thrice she attempted to give voice to her beckoned commands directed to the executioners of the arena. Failing in her will to give utterance to her commands, she clutched frantically her throat, and with swallowing gasps gave a choking, gurgling cry, then, with a spasmodic stretch of her limbs, fell back into the arms of her attendants apparently lifeless. As ever with the unthinking herd, when subject to the sudden impression of emotional excitement from sensational enactment beyond the limits of their comprehension, the assembled multitude gazed with lips agape, directing their wonder-dazed eyes first to the group in the arena, then to those supporting the queen, until a demagogue, who had been long waiting in watchful search for an opportunity to display his factious eloquence, gained their ears' attention.
"A scene so pregnant with marvelous incident, was of itself sufficient to suggest miraculous interposition and retribution, to the hoodwinked fanaticism of the age. In language clothed with anathemic invective, cultivated as a religious exercise, in waiting for a ventful occasion, like the then present, to give it voice, Gulosputa inveighed against the tyranny of the queen supposing her dead --- and the cruel bigotry of the Christoseptarch who had incited her to persecution.
"The crowd listened, when aroused from their stupor, with acclamations peculiar to the leveling propensities of the democratic element, when for the moment they feel themselves liberated from the restraints of ruling power, forgetful that the speaker himself was in the morning a sycophantic follower of the archpriest. Encouraged by the sound of associate voices of selfish instinct in human array, the usual demand was made for a bloody sacrifice in revengeful reprisal for the persecution that he, when in favor of the archpriest, had promoted as a willing abettor. While the demagogue was haranguing the insensate democracy, the father, in partial swoon, lay half supported by the tigress in a reclining position; her natural ferocity, having been subdued by the weakness of starvation, proved more appeasable than the rancorous hate of fanaticism. When the friends of the intended martyrs saw the queen struck down by her own fierce passions, they hastened with pitying sympathy to give the father's wounds the attention they required. But thoughtful in his extremity, he would not receive their aid until he had first supplied the food requirements of the tigress, then he submitted to have his wounds washed and bandaged. While supported by his friends, in readiness to leave the arena, and the tigress still subdued was held in charge by the children, the cry was raised: 'The priest, the queen, hurl them into the arena, loose the tigress!' Then, calmly, Lamplucis, the 'apostate' father, raised himself from the support of his friends --- who, with the tigress, and his children embracing her neck upon either side, formed a remarkable group, suitable to the occasion --- turned his body, ghastly with blood-stained bandages and uncovered lacerations, and motioned the congregated multitude to silence. When the vengeful swarm had ceased to howl, the sight of his pale visage, and jagged protrusion of his wounds, that spoke in bloody appeal from beneath their bandages, banished with sight sensation the contagious commotion caught from their newly incited ravenous scent.
"For a few moments Lamplucis scanned with scorn the vacant leaseholds of mortality, then waved with his hand Gulosputa's speech to silence. When expectation, in waiting for some new source of impulsive excitement, had imposed a breathless hush, he questioned, with a voice energetic in its weakness ---
" 'Was it not enough that you looked calmly on in gratified silence to see me unarmed oppose my naked body for the protection of my children, thrice repeated, against the king of beasts? and when they were tongueless subdued, heard your queen in kind, in answer to my pleading petition for the lives of my children, order unrebuked a fiercer foe, whose hungered appetites were judged past control! Then yon saw me crippled of an arm, with my strength ebbing, without the heart or courage to second my petition, with your manly thousands to redeem me and mine, from the insatiate fury of a woman who had found the lion's rage and strength too weak to revenge the hate of her own fiercer passions. But now that she is seemingly dead, from the reaction of her own uncontrolled rage, you must needs revolt against yourselves, and with cannibal cravings seek the blood of your kind! Shame upon you, fealless ingrates, that in your selfish forgetfulness of others forget yourselves! Have you no eyes for the inward heed of reflection when you see the starved tigress won from her natural instincts to become submissive to kindly direction? Hence to your dens and there give thought for meditation's choice, whether there is in you worth sufficient to merit the name of soul or mind, or instinct of the tigress which has proved its susceptibility to the influence of kindly reclamation! Or if heedless and headless you will win destruction, follow the aimless lead of Gulosputa, whose ambition would rule, and yet is unable to command itself.'
"The self-rescued apostate, with this pungent but truthful apostrophe to the bewildered slaves of passion, was supported out of the arena unopposed, followed by his children, the embrace of whose arms led in grateful triumph the willing pledge of their redemption, and were conducted to the nearest household asylum of affection. The 'public' esteeming his wonderful presentation as miraculous, the tigress, in his own or children's charge was openly entertained, and proved faithful to the confidence reposed in her sagacity. Lamplucis, in bold self-reliance, although rendering himself obnoxious to the religious adherents of the Christoseptarch, from their mutual self-sacrificing manifestations of an enduring affection, remained unmolested, and his example gained during his lifetime a protective respect for his adherents.
"Queen Amaruthia, who never fully recovered from the shock of her hysterical rage, exclaimed, when dying, as se received from the Christoseptarch the ordinance rites of extreme unction, 'More, still more! it is not enough!'
"The prophetic forecast of Gulosputa's and partisan laborers' career by Lamplucis, was fully verified, as in numberless instances before and since, demonstrating clearly with like futile multiplications, the necessity of an exampled alliance of affection for holding in subjection, for kindly manifestation, the selfish vagaries of instinct devoted to the pendu-queue ordinance worship and pat- riot-ism expressed by the emotional sensations of Kan Avan's material caudality, after it had been subjected to the unregenerated habits of a sectarian civilization.
The leading principle of Gulosputic power for the control of the laboring classes can be easily traced from the omnivorous habit provoked from the indigestible result of Eve's indulgence in the arrack toddy of the cocoa stem, that revealed the fact of procreative power without a knowledge of its source. If we trace from cause to effect the maternal influence that rules the habits of the laboring class of the present day, we cannot for a moment doubt that they received their first impressions from the fundamental arsenal of the stomach, the proverbial soul source of Biblical direction. In the impression conveyed by Zera and her sisters, we can realize a beneficent result without the testimony of a written record. Of Amaruthias we have the curse of multiplication in kind, but fortunately curtailed in its power of full verification.
"The influence imparted from the discovery of gold by the Chin-tangs to the lowlanders has been multiplied to the degree of ascendancy as a source for the luxurious reimpression of the original effect of the Serpent's toddy as a zest for appetite, and the ordinance display of sectarian rites of worship for the stomach's (soul's) relief from the mania-potu incantations that inaugurated Belteshazzar's waking dream. The ram who bears the rattling gourd, or bell, as leader of the flock, in multiplication's travesty, produces the general bedecked in the spangled panoply of war, in divergence ready to sacrifice upon the altar of Cain's selfishness his hecatomb of brotherly victims at the beck of queens who offer premiums for the litter-ary production of triplets to subserve in the same role for soil investment. If you can, by any reasonable demonstration, show why a life devoted to the ordinance rites of war and religion, impressed upon Cain from the indigestible transgression of his mother, is preferable to the tail and dress economy of the Gibbons, which is sufficient for the full realization of contentment, we will yield to your direction.
"The reply of the Jew, Caab Ebu Al Ashraf, who assisted Mohammed in the composition of the Koran, shows how well versed he was in the essentials required as a foundation for the ordinance rites of a new religion. When as an acolyte scribe, the would-be prophet expostulated with him for introducing puerile absurdities into the text of the premised revelations; he answered, 'You must not reject the successful means employed by the exemplars of the religion you wish to imitate. For Moses and his successors of the old and new testaments placed more reliance upon ridiculous ritual observances that baffled explanation, than on those that would lead the thoughtful to question from reason the infallibility of a God who would place his will in their charge for dispensation. For, as a prophet, you are not expected to offer material evidence as a test of your authority. With the exampled experience derived from the precept creeds, it would prove a suicide of stupidity for your prophetic aspirations, if you should neglect to adopt a style of humility adapted to the habits of the people you wish to convert. But, as you cannot recreate yourself for a new birth, with lowly attractions suitable for the impression of the wise men of your tribes of a heavenborn inspiration; you must involve yourself in the mysteries of doubtful language, or of assumption, as, 'Verily, verily, I say unto you, these words of my mouth are spoken to you with the simplicity of a child unborn and unquickened with the soul of its mother, so that you may understand and be saved from the wrath to come!' These touches of inspiration will prove bones for dogmatic contention, with your priestly expounders and commentators, who will hold the attention of worshiping devotees with words, so that they will not question the divine authority of your mission.
"Although Mahommed successfully followed the advice of Al Ashraf, and in the first glow of grateful remembrance bestowed upon the sacred stone the pre-cognomen, thus virtually acknowledging Al Caaba as the source of his inspiration: he found it necessary to silence his tougue, which had gained the support of the Koreish, or nobility, by denouncing the aid he had rendered the embryotic prophet in devising a creed of gospel divinity to attract and puzzle the thoughtless stupidity of worshiping devotees. The assassination of Al Caaba added to rather than diminished the fanatical furor of the nucleus followers of Mahommed, notwithstantling the truth of the Jew's assertions was patent to all; but, as with Judas, his act of denunciation concentrated the hatred of the 'true believers' in Mahommed's divine inspiration against his race. Yet, in defiance of these Cain-like demonstrations of sectarian creed re-enactments, the susceptibility to self-imposition is constantly on the increase, pari passo, with the evidences of physical degeneration, How true, in a literal sense, was the Koranic creed axiom, (4) 'If we suffer we shall reign with him.' For the coincident exposition of Al Caab's relation with Mahommed, I will refer you to the transfer of the Gibbons Mood-ee's tail, by inoculation, to the regenerated caudality of San-kee, and the inadvertency of our adaptation of its muscular components with those of the recipient; for the exact expression of his brain emanations, which causes a lack of coherency in act demonstration by the regenerated organ. This obliquity of correspondence with brain intention, in pantomimic gesticulation, is a never- ending source of amusement to his tail-following congregations, but to Mood-ee it is a constant reminder of his lost condition, expressive in effect of Adam's bereavement, and reliance upon the old Serpent's tail (tale) as an exponent of truth.
"You will also be able to perceive the necessity of a nice adaptation of missionary labor for the congenital reproduction of tailful impressions, that, in their regenerated fulfillment, they may correspond with brain emotions for the revival of orang contentment founded upon the caudal equation of enough, as demonstrated by Bridget vs. San-kee. Our classification of tails for civilized adjustment is founded upon the natural predisposition of faith upon the influence of habits and customs; but as you have adopted ours, a knowledge of requirements will soon initiate your discernment into the method of adaptation. So I will now recommend you to matriculate with the alma mater of your own judgment.'
From the negative and positive proof illustrations adduced in Doctor Olu Babi's concluding Chata, you will perceive that the old Serpent's tongue substitution for the truthful index of tail contentment was the forked beginning of hypocrisy and lying deceptions induced from indulgence that sought concealment. Also, that the curse of multiplication was imposed from fore-ordination of the necessity of devising subterfuge word-pretexts for the faith representation of mysterious deviations from the source of fact realization. For your better appreciation of the alleged facts, I will refer you to the faith transubstantiation I am about to realize in my union with Bridget. Should there arise from my preferment to become the father of a New Birth generation, a millenium endowment that in assimilation reflects the patriarchal sacrifice, I shall as son in triune evolvement be held by posterity as the true Me-sire.
Although Bridget's tail cannot, in descriptive style, be classed as one to the manor or manner born, it possesses in the contentful economy of head devisement far greater capacity for the expression of useful and truthful traits, for the indication of enough, than the tongue, which was improvised by the old Serpent as a substitute for the prophetic development of the curse multiplication. Besides, from its self-possessed resources of enjoyment, if it imparts to me the power of transmitting in exampled affection, the immaculate impression of its patriarchical sacrifice of contentment with enough for healthy satisfaction, our triune posterity will inherit a united tailacy for truthful expression, which in its simplicity will require none of the deceptions of art in speech or act for concealment. Then, in the happy outflow of their regenerated spirit of reciprocation, void of offense from the ordinance rites of worshipful sectarianism, they will prefer each the other's sacrifice as the source of their own united enjoyment. To love and be loved, without a preying source of discontent, will reflect the impression of It common birth, in freedom from envy and selfish desire to possess more than enough to suffice for their soils, healthy and loving assimilation. With the New Birth economy imparted from the regenerated impressions of the Patriarchal tailacy, the hirsute endowment will be restored in its original purity, to free the body from the encumbrances of soil- accumulating fashions of artificial devisement. Then, pure in spirit and person from a free ventilation the rag and filth emblems of repulsive poverty will be banished from view, as the caste reflections of misery.'
How futile are all our finite endeavors to grasp with our bereaved comprehension the wonderful efficacy of renewed tail grace for the restoration of happy contentment? and how simple and effectual the means! Our only resource for an approximate realization of the illimitable benefits to be derived from tail regeneration, and its concomitant hirsute vestment for cleanly protection from the vicissitudes of climate, is, from the contrast afforded by experience of the mechanical devices of invention, which have been devised to supply its loss. Then, if in addition, we take into account the wear and tear of ordinance rites upon materialism, for the support of faith as the means of insurance for the soil's resurrection and tail rehabilitation, we shall have in gross an idea of the vast relief that will be afforded by the reconversion of our posterity into the likeness of their patriarchal redeemer.
If in the perfection of renewal, with a joint equilibrium established between head, stomach, (soul), mid tail for regulating the mutual requirements of each in relation to the other for happy requital, a review of the past of our antecedents can be effected, great will be their gratitude to the immaculate source of their transubstantiation. If the tablet records of Con-fuse-us, Joss-hua and Son, are to be relied upon as emanations from their divine authority, the direct union of the memorial tail to the Chinese head indicates in prophetic forecast the curse of multiplication which has been the cause of their degeneration. In like monition the memorial compression of their female children's feet is for the repentant commemoration of the wo-ran 's quadrumanal activity prompted by her curious desire to taste the forbidden fruit, after she caused her orang mate to test its properties in verification of their lord and master's truthfulness. This crippling ordinance rite was evidently instituted as all additional reminder of her ingratitude to the Orang, who had sacrificed a portion of his tail for her creation, as well as a penance check upon the gossiping predisposition she had cultivated with the old Serpent in the garden of Fun-Choo- Foo. It is also emblematical, in a symbolical sense, of their irredeemable condition as by being deprived of three fifths of their prehensile power, the "mene mene tekel" balance of the scale to lay hold of the promises of salvation they have kicked, and are no longer considered eligible as candidates for intercession at the throne of grace.
"Now, My Dear Marvel, if You Will Consult the tablets of your experience, I am certain that you will acknowledge a lonely void which has baffled all your endeavors to fill with the enduring impressions of an affection that in the least degree responds in measure with your hopeful expectations. Even with your vast knowledge, which has been recompensed not only with hereditary titles of your family, but, with medallic honors too numerous for description, and after the achievement of true High Grand Sachem-ship of all the memorial tribes of extinct Red-men, have received the prefix of Most Reverend Druid, etc., etc., etc., etc., and in culmination of worldly honors, the home Secretaryship of the S.F.A.S., you cannot fail to recognize in the grateful simplicity of the Patriarchal sacrifice, the highest possible degree in attainment for the demonstration of self-abnegation.
Especially when you consider that it had been his sole means of support through a long life in a perfect state of independence, until Mr. Leslie, in grateful reciprocation of his feoffry rights of pre-emption to the "landed property" of Saar Soong, rendered the possession of a tail honorary, as a means of livelihood, by the cultivation of melons, bananas and corn as food for his chang. By this voluntary act demonstration of the value of a head devoted to the legitimate object of its development in practical judgment against the deposed tail of transgression, Mr. Leslie made the Patriarch feel that his was a luxury that could be dispensed with for the relief of Bridget's despondency, who had lost faith in the sufficiency of her own for the pennate of angelic fledgment. This, you will perceive, is a theo-ret-ical root to the transaction that has afforded practical proof in demonstration. Still there is a sad reflection in the thought that the Patriarchess, as the sectarian representative of the wo-rang, did not assume the preference or sacrificial bestowal instead of the Patriarch, But this, in the lack of positive evidence, may be theo-ret- ically accounted for by Patronimick's fear that it was the intention of the Patriarchess to bestow her tribute of affection upon him.
Perhaps, in the economy of Orang perception, this premeditated trans-action was intended as the initial re- involvement of the species into a happy state of neutraldom! Yet, there is in the trans-action all appearance of experimental selfishness on the part of the Patriarchess characteristic of Eve's fruit test with Adam. In civilized verification we know that the majority are ready to sacrifice the Eden comforts of home for the ordinance rites of tail worship and amusement; and notwithstanding their interdiction from the oblation rites or intercession for regeneration by the Jews as the cause of transgression, and ingratitude to Adam who sacrificed a portion of his caudal to procreate Eve, they have presumed in their emancipated freedom to usurp with ingratitude the votive and professional privileges of their lords, instead of fulfilling the creative devisement of helpmates. Instead of help-meet gleaning in the fields, as in the patriarchal lays of Israelitish supremacy, we know that after their eman- cipation by the introduction of Christianity, they endeavored to fulfill the destiny of the temptation preached for the beguilement of Eve by the old Serpent.
Their success in attracting chivalric worship for the ordinance rites of faith regeneration, ushered in the dark ages and crusades, with like robber incentives for the sectarian multiplication of the Cain-ite sources of degradation. This Amaruthia accession of the goddess attributes of Serpentic devisement, soon banished with the torments of the inquisition the open adoption of the exampled affection so sympathetically manifested by the family of Ahmed Ben Isaacs, In his course, although trammeled with the embargo of fanatical superstition, we can recognize a man that should have been born as a child to Eve, as his head, with exampled affection, would have commenced right, where the rule of the tail left off; and in defiance of his mother's spiteful revenge for the non-appearance in germ-manic development of her caudal expectations, would have perpetuated for angelic perfection the rule of an affectionate supremacy, and annulment in the beginning of the curse of multiplication. Then, with a Zera and her sister as affectionate exemplars, we should have been blessed at the present day with full- fledged angels as help-meets, endowed with all the attributes of consolation that could be derived from the elements of perfect sympathy; although bodily free from the material evidences of flight, either in artificial adaptation for faith atonement, or Gibbons' re-extension for tail or tale reinoculation.
In the hopeful development of assured regeneration, I remain yours,
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