Although easy to date, this is one of my least favorite adventures of Maureen, probably because, like most men, we see clothes shopping as tedious, to be polite, and best suffered with a good book, preferably one with footnotes on what to say when she exits the dressing room in her fifteenth outfit.From Lagosh in 1947 Maureen returned to the Sherwood Forest Mall in London (right next to the Goodwill) to meet with Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Robin informs Maureen that “so long as there is a Sherwood Forest and evildoers about, we’re sort of immortal.” Obviously Robin has crossed form the Mundane to the Mythical, but probably because of the really poor FX-fest remakes of his adventures on TV and the cinema, he is stuck in the Sherwood Forest mall (next to the goodwill on Wonderland Road, North London). Yes, that place really exists at 1225 Wonderland Road, North London.
Maureen and Maid Marion engage in a duel of shopping which lasts the day with Maureen winning by default and her Whooshing to Queens, 1991, to reveal to Elizabeth her latest adventure. I won’t bore you with the details of the duel as unless you are a woman, you probably don’t care what shoes she bought to go which what dress and how it brought out the color of her eyes, though Maureen did pay for her goods with her father’s credit card that she had taken (or been given) between earlier adventures.
The bottom line is that Maureen left Lagosh, 1947, to visit the mall, then to Queens, 1991. But when was the Mall adventure? Elizabeth commented in the foreward that Maureen looked nice, dressed like a normal person and this is the clue that Maureen was at the mall in 1991!
Had Maureen arrived at the mall during the 1960’s, Elizabeth would have commented on her being so out-of-fashion. Had Maureen been at the Mall in 2050, Elizabeth would have commented on ‘that’ as well, but she simply stated that Maureen was “dressed like a normal grown person...” which indicates that she was wearing clothes that would be normal fashion for 1991.
It is clear that Maureen did not go directly from London to Queens as in the afterword, Maureen statesthat she knows from her careful observational studies that mars would be in the sky that night. Thus Maureen must have left the Mall, gone outside to see the night sky, saw Mars and chose to jump across the pond to Queens to visit Elizabeth. Remember that London is five hours ahead of Queens so sometime during her shopping spree, she had the time to look into the night sky, see Mars knew that Mars would rise in Queens as soon as it became dark in New York.
Maureen promised to leave Elizabeth alone, left the house at dusk, saw mars and whoosed away forever.
OUR MODIFIED TIMELINE NOW IS:
- 1963- Elizabeth Speigleman is born.
- 1964- Maureen Birnbaum is born.
- 1977or 78- Rod Marquad is born. He will become an inventer and crimefighter.
- 1979, Aug- Maureen attends the Greenberg School as a Freshman and rooms with Elizabeth.
- 1979, Aug(?)- Maureen studies Fencing for 6 weeks under Ms Duplante as a Sophmore.
- 1981, 8(?) Jan- Maureen goes to Mad River Glen Ski Resort in Vermont (20-30 miles west of Montpiler) to ski, dies of an unknown reason, and transits to Mars.
- 1981, 15 Jan 1982- Maureen returns to Earth, NYC. She stays in room 1623 of a well-known hotel within walking distance of 8th Avenue and 435th Street.
- 1981, 15 Jan- Maureen leaves Earth for Mars but lands in Pellucidar by mistake.
- 1981, Nov- Elizabeth gives Maureen’s adventure, two months early, the George Effinger who publishes it the following January in 1982.
- 1985, January 15- Maureen returns to Earth from Pellucidar and contacts Elizabeth who ignores her to spend a week with a married dentist. This was published in February 1986, a year and a month after it occurred.
- 1985, 16 Jan- Maureen leaves NYC for Mars but lands in Pellucidar. She claims to have remained there for four years but probably only a few weeks.
- 1985, late Dec- Ron Marquad summons his subterreine vehicle to rescue Maureen. He takes her through the earth to deliver her to a NYC subway platform. She is still wearing the gold g-string and bra as she sells a gem to a jeweler and visits the home of Elizabeth to record her story.
- 1985, Late Dec- Maureen leaves NYC and has other adventures.
- Possibly one including La and the Bolgani of the Valley of the Palace of Diamonds from Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar.
- Probably at least another adventure on another planet. Amtor or Vah-Nah?
- C2780- Maureen arrives in Virginia, 800 years post WW-III and helps Milo fight the Horseclan’s Battle of Gettysburgh. She learns that she is immortal but has not yet accepted being ageless though this is mentioned by Elizabeth.
- 1986- Maureen returns to Earth, Bermuda to interrupt the honeymoon of Elizabeth. After telling her story, she leaves again passing Josh as she exits.
- 1986- Maureen visits her family, leaves her spear, dagger and longsword but takes some cash and a credit card.
- 802,701+- Maureen has at least two adventures, one in the Far Future that is different from the Horseclans Adventure, probably helping free the Eloi from the Morlocks in. She fights in that war, is wounded and travels to the Moon.
- 1941- On the way back, she misses Earth and lands on Lagosh near the center of the galaxy and helps stave off the collapse of their civilization after Totality!
- 2019, 21 August- Maureen visits the Moon for her Lunar Adventure.
- 1986- Maureen goes home to clean he clothes and herself. She, still creeped out by Sorgol-154, she redons her Horseclans outfit.
- 1946- Maureen visits the planet Lagosh and saves civilization.
- 1986 (couple months post Elizabeth’s honeymoon)- Maureen visits Elizabeth and Josh to tell them about the Moon and Lagosh.
- 1991- Maureen, leaving Lagosh, lands at the Sherwood Forest Mall in North London for a shopping duel with Maid Marion. She is in London for some hours.
- 1991- Maureen visits Elizabeth in Queens. Elizabeth is 4 months pregnant.
CONTINUED FROM PART V
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Rick Johnson Feature Articles and Fiction in ERBzine
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