I.CHAPTER CONTENTS CONTRIBUTING PULP WRITER
CHAPTER I: The Return of Ratnaz Bill Hillman
CHAPTER II: Jumbled Tales of Ratnaz Bill Hillman
CHAPTER III: The Beasts of Ratnaz Tangor
CHAPTER IV: Son of OB Bill Hillman
CHAPTER V: Ratnaz and the Yellow Jacket Tangor
CHAPTER VI: A Princess of Bars Tangor
CHAPTER VII: Portal of Peril Bill Hillman
CHAPTER VIII: The Giant Rodents on Helium Bill Hillman
CHAPTER IX: Pellucifer Bill Hillman
CHAPTER X: The Characters that Mimes Forgot Tangor
CHAPTER XI: The Gams That Man Forgot Tangor
CHAPTER XII: Into Klimb’s Abyss Bill Hillman
CHAPTER XIII: The Bandits from Hell’s Bells Bill Hillman
CHAPTER XIV: Airship 2-U-2 Bill Hillman
CHAPTER XV: The Game's a Foot Tangor
CHAPTER XVI: Into The Inner World Tangor
CHAPTER XVII: The Mad King Sings Tangor
CHAPTER XVIII: The Fateful Plunge Tangor
CHAPTER XIX: The Inefficiency Expert Tangor
CHAPTER XX: A Fighting Man of Bars Tangor
CHAPTER 21: El Rancho Ratnaza --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 22: “You’re a Lucky Girl...Bertha La Rapo!” --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 23: The Terrible Game A-Foot --Bill Hillman
(Wherein Our Intrepid Sleuth Plays A-Hand, Looks A-Head and Is Set A-Back)
CHAPTER 24: The Hair Rage of the Desert --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 25: Into the Depths --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 26: The Dancing Girl of the Leper Guy..or.. --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 27: The Prize Chump of Helium --Tangor
CHAPTER 28: Together--Again! --Tangor
CHAPTER 29: The City of Ancient Heads --Tangor
CHAPTER 30: The Case of the Speckled Do-Do --Tangor
CHAPTER 31: The Eternal Barbarian --Tangor
CHAPTER 32: Twenty Inches Under the Sea --Tangor
CHAPTER 33: The Best Little Chicken Ranch --Bill Hillman
in Tappan Range & -- Robin Hillman
CHAPTER 34: Escape from the City of Ancient Heads --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 35: Alone in the City of Mummies --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 36: Ratnaz and the Forbidden Valley --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 37: At the Mercy of the Elements --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 38: "I escape the pit." --Tangor
CHAPTER 39: Midnight At The Oasis --Tangor
CHAPTER 40: The Origin of the Lord of The Leaves, The Mystery Explained --Tangor
CHAPTER 41: The Immaculate Virgin -- Tangor
CHAPTER 42: The Plot Thickens, If Simmered Long Enough -- Tangor
CHAPTER 43: The Case of the Mysterious Mystery's Mystery -- Tangor
CHAPTER 44: Llana of Baseball -- Tangor
CHAPTER 45: Fantastic Voyage Into the Primeval Abyss -- Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 46: Jeriatric Park -- Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 47: Mister Bate's Motel -- Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 48: The Butler Did It! -- Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 49: The Fall and Rise of the Phantom Empire -- Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 50: When Worlds Collide--Violently -- Tangor
CHAPTER 51: Riders of the Purple Stage -- Tangor
CHAPTER 52: Gnu of the Plasticene -- Tangor
CHAPTER 53: "How Do You Do What You Do To Me?" -- Tangor
CHAPTER 54: Send in the Clones -- Tangor
CHAPTER 55: Tinsel Town -- Tangor
CHAPTER 56: Savage Ratnaza -- Tangor
CHAPTER 57: Flight of the Thipcar --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 58: The Secret Lab of Ras Putan -- Mastermind of Stars --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 59: FYIO: The Touchwood Pictures Secret Files
On Elmer Ford and Bodacious Derricks --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 60: Death Comes in Twos --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 61: The Geriatric Chronicles: Billions and Billions Served --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 62: "I find the pants." -- Tangor
CHAPTER 63: Darter Makes a Move -- Tangor
CHAPTER 64: The Monster Men -- Tangor
CHAPTER 65: Valley of the Dolls -- Tangor
CHAPTER 66: In The Hall of The Demented Mountain King -- Tangor
CHAPTER 67: Tom Slow and His Electric Accordian -- Tangor
CHAPTER 68: Strange Bedfellows: Rathmind, Tang-Gor,
and CAPTAIN CANUCK! --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 69: “What’s the buzz....Tell me what’s a-happenin’” --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 70: The Strange Odyssey of Rex, The Wonder Rooster --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 71: Rora, Rora, Rora: Pearl Harbor - January 11, 1973 --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 72: Sign of the 2+2=4 --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 73: Monster Kids of the Phantom Empire --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 74: There's No Place Like Home! --Tangor
CHAPTER 75: Farewell, Canada! --Tangor
CHAPTER 76: The Alien Invasion --Tangor
CHAPTER 77: You Only Live Twice In Real Life --Tangor
CHAPTER 78: The Last Chapter Wasn't Funny --Tangor
CHAPTER 79: The Land of Delusions --Tangor
CHAPTER 80: Big Bertha --Tangor
CHAPTER 81: Dim Son and Big Moons --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 82: Death Valley Daze -- From Sand to Shining Sea --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 83: Something Wicked This Way Comes...They’re Here! --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 84: Invasion of the Led Zeppelins (aka Panic at Stutter’s Mill) --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 85: Big Bill & Big Bruce - The Blues Buoys with the Incredible
Waltz Kings - Live at Ferris’ Big Wheel Club Performing Their Hit:
“You’re Tuvane... you probably think this song is about you.” --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 86: Das Boobs --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 87: Watership Down --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 88: The Return of the Living Dead --Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 89: The Jeddak of The North
CHAPTER 90: Malice In Underland; --Tangor
Wherein A Knowledge of Music History Is Essential
BOOK VIII by Tangor
CHAPTER 91: MISTER Hilary Goes To Town. Cilli: Alone again, naturally!
CHAPTER 92: Atlas Shrugged. He Was Bored.
CHAPTER 93: Secrets Revealed. The Past Returns.
CHAPTER 94: Raining: Datsun Clogs
CHAPTER 95: Stranger in a Strange Band
CHAPTER 96: Jane Jane bo fane ba na na na fo fame fee fi fo fein ane: Jane!
CHAPTER 97: The Door Into Summersville
BOOK IX by Bill Hillman
Chapter 98: Ch’nook of the North and his Crawl from the Wild
Chapter 99: MISTER Hilary Goes to Washington In the Heat of the Fight
***Special Centennial and Millennium Gala Celebration Issue***
Chapter 101: “No Mo’! No Mo’! You! Naughty Ass!”
Chapter 102: Four People, Verses, Harry Flint’s Titillating Treasure
Trove and Some Naughty Rap
Chapter 103: Bertie Peeps at the Diary as Sleeping Giants Lie
Chapter 104: “Pardon Me Roy, Is That The Cat That Chewed Your
New Shoes...Your clogs that is, Mr. Datsun.”
(Obviously, a knowledge of the history of big band music is essential
for the comprehension of titles around here.)
Chapter 105: Fun with Boz and Jane -- A Primer
Chapter 106: Captain Marble and the Pit of Doom - Shaboom, Shaboom!
BOOK X by Tangor
Chapter 107: The Inner Sanctum
Chapter 108 : And just when you thought things made sense...
Chapter 109: "When the moon is in the seventh house..."
Chapter 110: "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me..."
Chapter 111: When the Naughtyass shook her booty
Chapter 112: Crisis in the Right House
BOOK XI by Bill Hillman
CHAPTER 113: On Board JedSled X.1 -- The Spruce Moose
CHAPTER 114: Megadoka Motel Hell: Camp Disaster
CHAPTER 115: The Man From H.O.O.V.E.R.
CHAPTER 116: In the Minidoka Hills Where I Was Borne
Jeddak's OB Odyssey Log: Day 4 Pt. 1
CHAPTER 117: The Valley Dorm Plant People and the Amazing Secret of
Megadoka's Lost Empire of the Sun -- Jeddak's OB Odyssey Log: Day 4 Pt. 2
CHAPTER 118: Ratnaza or Bust... The Latter Prevails
CHAPTER 119: The Confidential Journal of Edgar Nyce: The Early Years
CHAPTER 120: The Long-Lost Writing Notebook of Edgar Nyce
CHAPTER 121: The Jeddak Strikes Back... and Out
CHAPTER 122: Edgar Nyce Has Left the Building: The Jeddak’s Odyssey
Comes to an End?
BOOK XII by Tangor
CHAPTER 123: The Final? Chapter
...to be continued?...RATNAZ (CH.1): The real life hero of countless Edgar Nyce jungle action novels - known to millions of movie fans as the Lord of the Leaves. He was raised with goats by natives in the secret Valley of King Dong in the heart of the African jungle where he was rescued by an Edgar Nyce expedition.
II. CHARACTERS - FIRST APPEARANCE
EDGAR NYCE (CH.1): The most famous pulp fiction writer of all time. He introduced the jungle hero Ratnaz to the world, as well as creating countless other fantastic worlds that captured the imagination of millions of fans.
ROLPH RATHMIND (CH.1): The long-time personal secretary and right-hand man to Edgar Nyce.
BRACE BOZHART (CH.2): Former school mate and life-long nemesis of Edgar Nyce. He has amassed a powerful and dangerous empire which steamrolls over everything in its path - including Ed and his creations.
JANE PORKER (CH.2): Ed's childhood sweetheart whose heart and hand were won by rival Brace Bozhart.
BERTHA LA RAPO (CH. 2): Former cafeteria manager in Ed's primary school who later followed Ed to California to live on a small chicken ranch at Ratnaza. She posed for most of the cover illustrations of Ed's books.
NICK MISER (CH. 4): Powerful head of Rodent and Touchwood Studios who stole the idea for Ed's Nyce World to include in his Rodent Land Theme Park. With Bozhart's help he also negotiated a lucrative deal with Nyce for exclusive rights to the Ratnaz trademark and is in the process of producing a new Ratnaz picture with an unknown actor.
ENNA NYCE (CH. 4): Mrs. Edgar Nyce who after many years of marriage ran off with Ed's rival writer, Otis Elevator Klimb.
YELLOW JACKET aka BRYCE LEE (BOZHART) (CH. 5): Half-Chinese illegitimate son of industrial magnate Buzz Bozhart. He has taken the crime fighting persona Yellow Jacket to wrest what is rightfully his from half brother Brace Bozhart. Brace's one concession to him was to let him live in the Ratnaza mansion that he has wrested from Edgar Nyce.
SPLAY-TOE aka WARD CLEAVER (CH. 5): A follower of all things Chinese from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. He has emulated the famous Chop Chop from the Blackhawk Comics and has joined Yellow Jacket in his fight against crime.
DEE DEE MORRIS - PRINCESS OF BARS (CH. 6): The beautiful daughter of Kojak Morris, chief of the Helium Supply Works. She has been working as an exotic dancer in Mars Markus' club to pay off family debts.
KOJAK MORRIS OF HELIUM SUPPLY CO. (CH. 6): Loving father of Dee Dee Morris and chief of the Helium Supply Company which is saved from financial ruin by Bryce Bozhart. Bozhart has secured a market for helium with Nick Miser's Touchwood Pictures.
DAN DARTER (CH. 6): One-time boyfriend of Dee Dee Morris and one-time brave adventurer whose ordeals in the African jungles have reduced him to a scheming coward and cad.
MARS MARKUS (CH. 6): A once powerful warrior who now runs a notorious strip club.
OTIS ELEVATOR KLIMB (CH. 7): Edgar Nyce's main pulp fiction writer rival. He has maintained a low profile since he ran off with Ed's wife Enna.
HERLOCK CABYNS (CH. 8): The world-famous English super-sleuth who has come to America to help Brace Bozhart uncover the truth behind recent mysterious events.
DR. DATSUN (CH. 8): Cabyns' able assistant and companion.
DEVON McGUINNESS - LORD GREATSTROKES (CH. 9): A renegade English nobleman who has devised a plan to burglarize the major banks of southern California.
CARMON NAPPIE (CH. 9): McGuinness' techno-geek henchman who has invented the Pellucifer Burrower which they plan to use to travel underground to break into bank vaults.
PRIVATE EYES: IKE SLAMMER, DICKIE SPILLWAY, CAM SPAID (CH. 10): Three private eyes hired to assist Bertie Ketchum in uncovering Bozhart's illegal activities.
BERTIE KETCHUM (CH. 10): A super-spy and close acquaintance from Ratnaz's past. She teams with the apeman to investigate Bozhart's nefarious activities.
HONEST JED OF CLAMPETT AUTO SALES (CH. 14): Hollywood used car salesman who sells a once-famous jalopy to Dan Darter.
JASMINE (JASON) AND ED GRIMLEY (CH. 14): Creators of the Grimley Wave which is the hair fashion rage of all Hollywood celebrities. Jasmine runs the wildly successful Grimley Wave Hair Salon.
ZANY GRANY (CH. 14): A pulp writer contemporary of Ed's who specializes in tall tales of the wild west.
HILLIE 'HILARY' BILLMAN (CH. 15): This one-legged West Virginian who has delusions of being a Canadian and is totally obsessed with killing Moby Dick is employed as Bozhart's right-hand man. He is husband to Cilli and father of Willie, Phillie, Milli and Vanilli.
BUZZ BOZHART (CH. 17): Brace Bozhart's powerful and wealthy father. He has an illegitimate half-Chinese son: Bryce Lee who has taken on the secret persona Yellow Jacket.
JUNIE LAMBCHOP (CH. 17): Buzz Bozhart's mistress and mother of Bryce Lee.
EDGAR NYCE ARTISTS (CH. 70):
(ALLEN J. ST. JACQUES, HAL 'GUMP' FORESTER, FRANCO FRAZELLI, JOCK DAVIS): All of these artists have used Bertha La Rapo as a model for their Nyce illustrations.
CECILIA 'CILLI' BILLMAN (CH. 33): Feisty wife of Hilary who will stop at nothing to save her husband and children from the evil clutches of the Bozhart empire.
KING DONG (CH. 36): A giant ape who is worshipped by African natives in the hidden Valley of King Dong. Ratnaz was raised by the natives to offer sacrificial goats to the dreaded ape, but eventually adopted the ape as his mentor.
THE BATES MOTEL PEOPLE (CH. 39 & 47):
(MISTER BATES & JIMMIE DEARDON (EFFICIENCY EXPERT) & SGT. QUEEN AND THE MOUNTIES): An usual group of people whom Bertie and Ratnaz meet while staying at a macabre Ventura Boulevard motel.
TAPPAN RANGE CHICKEN SHACK VACATION HOUSE PEOPLE (CH. 43):
MAIZE WEST, MR. (CENSORED), DOROTHY LAYMORE, NANCY DRAW,
JUDY FLANDERS, MARLIN BRANDOUGH:The wild and wonderful employees of the famous Bozhart desert retreat.
LLANA OF BASEBALL (CH. 44): A one-time baseball great who has fallen on hard times. All she has left from her glory days is a Mickey Mantle autographed baseball bat.
ALBERT HITCHCOCK (CH. 48): A part-time Hollywood bit player who has found work at Ratnaza as Bryce Lee's butler. Only he knows the true identity of Yellow Jacket and Splay-Toe.
DR. LEARNER VON BRAWNY (CH. 49): A famous German/Russian scientist hired to create Bozhart's Phantom Empire theme park. Respected designer of the MIRE Space Station.
DR. LI-CHAN MONREAU (CH. 49): A scientific genius imported from a tropical island to create bionic creatures for the Phantom Empire theme park. He has teamed with Ras Putan to extend the powerful potential of the Grimley Wave device to clone human life forms.
ASSORTED PULPY SUPERHEROES (CH. 50):
GIMBALL GINSU, DOCTOR G. G. SMYTHE, GREY GEMSMAN, ADAM DRAINGE, BRANDON OF TERRA, DR. MANGE: A motley gang of superheroes discovered in a subterranean hideaway by the Pellucifer Burrower.
THE BILLMAN KIDS (CH. 51):
WILLIE, PHILLIE, MILLI, VANILLI:The highly talented and intelligent off spring of Hillie Billman.
ANNIE SOTTS (CH. 51): Occasional babysitter for the Billman kids.
RAS PUTAN (CH. 58): A famous Hollywood plastic surgeon who has lost his licence to practice. Seeking revenge he has worked with Dr. Li-Chan Monreau to unleash the power of the Grimley Wave machine to create cloned Bozharts.
ALGOR (CH. 58): Ras Putan's faithful but stilted lab assistant.
ELMER FORD (CH. 59): A Bozhart look-alike who has been hired to replace the real Ratnaz in the latest Touchwood Lord of the Leaves picture.
BODACIOUS DERRICKS (CH. 59): A former employee of the Chicken Ranch hired by Miser to portray Jane Porker in his latest Ratnaz film.
JEDDAK OF GERIATRIC PARK (CH. 61): The powerful benevolent leader of Ed's Geriatric Theme Park and Nyce World Retirement Enterprises.
JONNY WINESWILLER (CH. 61): A former film star hired by Nyce to do voice-overs for the Nyce World multi-media sales pitch.
EDGAR NYCE'S MAIN INFLUENCES (CH. 61):
RAY RAZZBURY, CARL SHOGUN, MICHAEL REDNECK: These authors and thinkers provided the inspiration for Ed's imaginative and highly successful writing career.
TANG-GOR, RENEGADE LEADER FROM BAROOM OF MARS (CH. 61): A rabble rouser who is trying to bring about a war between the Baroom and Jungle Island inhabitants of the Nyce World Geriatric Park.
DAVID BRUCE BOZARTH (ZANY GRANY PSEUDONYM) CHARACTERS: (CH. 63)
RICKY GARCIA, AVON, CHRISTOPHER, THE FROG, BRONDILDIA: Characters featured in an ongoing Zany Grany serial written for All-Gory Weekly pulp magazine.
THE STAR CHIPS LAB CHARACTERS (CH. 64):
JAMES T. CLERK, MR. SPOTT, MR. TUTU, DR. BONER: Spinny inhabitants of a spin off laboratory in Bozhart's Phantom Empire theme park complex.
PETER LEMMINGS -ERBS ANCHOR (CH. 67): A news reporter who first reports the catastrophic fires, earthquakes and floods that have consumed southern California.
CAPTAIN CANUCK (CH. 68): A giant, handsome, muscular, intelligent, fearless, and extremely talented red-suited and caped superhero from Canada who has teamed with Rathmind and the alien Tan-Gor to seek revenge on Nyce, Bozhart and Miser.
TAN-GOR (CH. 68): A creepy little alien who controls people's minds and bodies by sitting on their heads.
REX, THE WONDER ROOSTER (CH. 70): Bertha La Rapo's faithful fowl companion who spends most of his waking hours on the shoulder of his mistress.
ORCAN WHALES (CH. 70): Radio morning man who is inclined toward presenting far-fetched disaster scenarios on the air to frighten his listeners. He is a favourite of Bertha La Rapo.
GAME SHOW HOSTS: GOB BARKER & AL LEX TREBARKER (CH. 73): Ancient wooden robots in the Phantom Empire who like to think of themselves as game show hosts.
BOOM BOOM BOZHART - THE BOY FROM BRAZOS #22 (CH. 73): A pre-teen Bozhart clone who inexplicably aids Markus, Morris and Llana in their escape from the Phantom Empire.
MOM (CH. 74): Ratnaz's foster ape mother who faked her death from Mambobasa tribesmen because she couldn't stand her son's idiosyncracies any longer.
MIGHTY MONITOR OF BETATUNA (CH. 76): Tang-Gor's alien superior who impatiently does away with his inept earth representative and plans to send a fleet of spaceships to wipe out the earthlings.
CAPTAIN NO'MO (CH. 78): Black drug dealer captain of the sub Naughtyass.
NED BLAND (CH. 78): No'Mo's henchman on the sub Naughtyass.
THE BLUES BUOYS - BIG BILL & BIG BRUCE - AND THE INCREDIBLE WALTZ KINGS (CH. 83): Famous performers and regular guests on ERBS radio and at Farris' Big Wheel Club..
TUVANE TUYAK (CH. 85): Mysterious cross-dressing employee of the Chicken Ranch.
PANCHO LANE (CH. 85): Bryce Lee's gootchie gootchie girl companion
JEDDAK OF THE NORTH - WARLORD OF WORDS (CH. 89): The esteemed Canadian writer of pulsating pulp prose who is engaged in an ongoing battle of wits with the ruthless Texican - Tangor.
M.I.B. - SMITH & JONES (CH. 95): Agents preserving the American way through their relentless pursuit of Aliens.
LA-LA (ne LITTLE LULU) (CH. 97): A frumpy, two-dimensional girl of Mars Markus' dreams, transmogrified by Tangor into a Nyce-inspired, seductive priestess.
SHERMAN (CH. 97): Tangor's young, "yes man" assistant.
PETE GUNN (CH. 102): The old cave hermit keeper of the Harry Flint's XXX titillating treasure trove.
CAPTAIN MARBLE (CH. 106): Sherman's alter-persona superhero who teams with the Jeddak of the North to combat Tangor and Tang-Gor.
MRS. TANGOR (CH. 107): Tangor's long-suffering, faithful spouse who is famous for her incredible meatloaf recipe.
BENNY THE STEROID BEAVER (CH. 108): The beaver which Tangor managed sneak in as a replacement for the Jeddak's lead sled animal, Clever Beaver.
MOLEJOWERKIN (CH. 109): One of the leaders of the Mole People of the Hidden World whose only contact with the surface people so far has been the one they call OB-wan-in Kanobe -- Edgar Nyce.
THE JEDDAK'S GRUNT TEAM of JedSled Pullers (CH. 113): Laurence Elk,Sterling Moose, Roseanne Bear, Johnny Walrus, Ma and Pa Cattle, and Adam Grizzly
BORES 'RIPLEY' RIPENKOFF AKA EVEL THE WEEVIL (CH. 113): A nasty illegal alien - a Siberian Spruce Weevil bent upon destroying the Jeddak's Spruce Moose JedSled.
THE OLD APACHE WAR CHIEF (CH: 116): The Indian warrior who has been standing guard and waiting for a long time outside the Deep Space Mine.
JONAR AND JOON CARTER (CH. 116): Mystery people found lying in a dormant state in the Deep Space Mine.
RESIDENTS OF THE VALLEY DORM (CH. 117): The Japanese Plant People and the German -speaking residents of the Good Hope Hutterite Colony
COLONEL ITCHIKOO GITCHIGUMI (TOJOWERKIN) (CH 117): Agent of the
Japanese Imperial Army, Secret Service Division. He leads the Mole People in Valley Dorm raids which incites the two valley civilizations into a perpetual state of war.
BILLY "BYRDE" SCHMUCKER (CH. 118): has been everywhere... done everything. A guitar playing poet who has been carousin', wrasslin', and piratin' all over the world. Heir to the Schmucker family fortune in jams and jellies but he would rather be a Blues Buoy.
XAXA GAHOR (CH. 118): an aging sex queen who is a regular patron at the Grimley Wave Salon
LASHES LA RUE (CH. 118): an intern by day and a plaster caster blues band groupie by night. She collects nose casts of big time musicians.
BIG BUBBA (CH. 118): Mystery sax man who has just joined the Blues Buoys Band.
TAKE ME TO :
III. CHAPTER SYNOPSIS:
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